Actually, the seed of the fire was planted last week when I was at another transformational retreat. We talked a lot about our visions and who we wanted to be in the future. I've really struggled with defining what I do for writers, which is hard, because I truly believe that I have a lot of great information that can help my fellow writers- and I've had a number of them say so! And then it came to me- I help writers move beyond the things that are blocking them from success in their writing career. BAM! I was looking over my notes, and right below where I wrote and circled that ah-ha, I wrote a question. How am I out of alignment with that vision?
I didn't answer that question, because until today, I didn't have the answer. And now I do. You see, the bad thing that happened to me created a lot of inner drama. Because I wanted to think I was strong, I tried dealing with it on my own. But in dealing with it, I developed this fear, this place of hiding and not wanting to be seen because I needed to protect myself. Honestly, it has felt like a part of me died, and I didn't know how to get it back.
Then today, talking to my friend, I mentioned something I want to do, but don't know how to do it, and she was like, "DUH, the Holy Spirit lives in you. You have all the power of God inside you to take care of it." Which is when I realized that as much as I've been trying to control my life around the bad thing, it has been controlling me. The power of God lives inside of me, and I have been letting something horrible that happened to me override that power.
And so here I am, turning around that bad thing and saying, "you don't get to be the boss of me anymore!"
I'm going to tell you a secret. One that has me feeling vulnerable, and yet I also want to share it, because it's part of what has transformed me as a writer, and what I believe is the key to helping other writers. As I dealt with the bad thing, I completely abandoned my writing practice. I'm almost ashamed to admit it, because I know how bad it is to let your writing go, and to let something like that drag you down. But here's the thing: we all do it. And I'm convinced that one of the main things holding us back in our writing is that we let these bad things get in our way. I don't know what your bad thing is, and I don't really want to talk about my bad thing. But we have got to realize that we are stronger than those bad things. Bad things happen to all of us, but if we let them get in our way, they control us, rather than us being in charge.
Which leads me back to my purpose. I created my retreat because I want to help writers. I want to give them nourishment in ways writers need because they tend to lose themselves. I know, because I've found myself lost more times than I can count. But I am learning how to get un-lost, to be un-stuck, and to move forward. Which is what I want to teach others.
So... I've decided that I really want as many people to come to my retreat as possible, because I know I am not the only writer who has lost her way a time or two or three or more. Which is why I've decided to lower my retreat price back to the early bird discount rate of $97. A while back, I told a writer friend that for me, it's not about the money, except that I do need to pay for the space I'm renting at the hotel and honor my contractual obligations. So you guys are getting it at my cost. Writers need this information, and I'm going to share it.
We all lose our way from time to time. Bad things happen. But I believe we can turn it around, and turn into fuel to move us forward. I hope you'll join me!
