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Friday, June 30, 2006

Tee Hee... I did go shopping

And I feel great!

I was getting dressed this morning, and I hated that I had to pull out a number of pairs of underwear before I found a pair without holes. Which made me think of the countless lectures I've given to That Man for walking around the house in holey underwear. Doesn't he know how utterly unattractive it is, and how big a turn off it is to see him wearing holey underwear?

I made it my mission today to buy new underwear. As most of you know, I'm a creature of habit. Today, I did something very unlike me. I bought a new style of underwear.

No, I didn't buy thongs. ICK. Tried that back in college, and despite my friend's assurances that I would get used to it, I was never fond of feeling like I had a permanent wedgie. Besides, That Man actually finds them very unappealing. Score one for the home team. :)

When I buy underwear, it MUST be 100% cotton (unless I'm buying something sexy for That Man, in which case I don't care what it's made of, because I don't plan on wearing it long enough to give me the inevitable rash I get when I don't wear 100% cotton). Yes, I know, more than what you wanted to know about me, but, as I like to point out, it's MY blog. As for style, I've experimented a little (see above note on college thong phase), but I've found I am most comfortable in bikinis. Except during my period, when I prefer big bad granny briefs. Come on, all you women know you have certain underwear to wear only during your period. It's tradition.

As I was perusing, I noticed this new style-I assume to look better with the new lower waistline of most pants-called hipsters. I decided to give them a whirl, since underwear was buy one package, get one 1/2 off. I felt safe buying one package of the old standby, and one package of something new and different. The last time I tried something new and different, it was those boy short things, and I didn't like them. I think it's because I have a proportionally larger butt and hips (12 inches bigger than my waist, which is a lot), and they just rode up my butt. Not real fond of wedgies, so I was glad they came in a small package and were on sale at the time.

Which leads to my other underwear quirk: I must buy underwear from a package. The thought of buying something that was hanging on a rack or sitting in a bin, where *gasp* someone else might have had their grubby paws on it is too horrific for me to think about. I do NOT like other people touching my underwear.

I broke tradition in another important way. Usually, I buy one package of black underwear, and one package of white underwear. I'm not a big colored underwear person. I don't know why, I just like plain old white. Sort of like my tennis shoes. Same deal. Plain white. That's it. Don't give me any of that fancy stuff. However black does come in handy certain times of the month. Enough said. Anyway... the packages of plain white underwear were more expensive than the ones that had three pairs of plain white and three pairs of patterns. My cheapness won out, and I am now the proud (I think) owner of six pairs of colored underwear. I know. It's shocking.

I came home, tried on the new underwear, decided they're a bit big, but since they are 100% cotton, they'll shrink in the wash. I did test the new hipsters, not really sure how they're different from the bikinis, except there's a little more material on the sides. I'll have to see if makes a difference on comfort and fit. They're in the dryer right now.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Semi Funked

Yeah, I'm in a semi funk. Don't know what the deal is or why, but I am. Last night, I went on a Victoria Holt binge, which was faboo... I love reading old books like that, she totally does stuff that you could never get away with now, and man... she is just the master. :) Maybe I'll do more tonight.

Had dinner with my Sara. It was wonderful. We went shopping. It sucked. I tried on an outfit that only reminded me how cowalicious I am. However, That Man thinks I'm gorgeous, so I should probably STFU. The thing I do like about shopping with My Sara is that she is also conservative, however, she does talk me into things that are more daring than what I'd otherwise try. Which is also why hand me downs from her are my favorite-it's always something cool, funky, but not too much so.

I am super tired, super ughed, and I don't have anything to say. I always think these blogs are dumb-who cares about this stuff? But at least you know I'm not dead.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Hit by a bus

Not literally, but I sure feel like it.

Yesterday was not the best of days for me.

I started by tripping and falling when carrying the baby and landing on a fan (and yes, it was running) and a tricycle. Baby was unhurt and thought it was funny. She would. It really hurt. And then, because I'm trying to be good housewifey person, I mopped the floor. As I was leaving my newly mopped bathroom, WHAM! I slipped and fell, landing on the exact spot I landed on when I fell earlier.

Let's all say, "Ouch," together.

Today, I am so sore. I feel like I was in a car accident, it hurts so bad. I have no bruises to show for my misadventures, and yet, I feel like I was hit by a bus.

I had other stuff to blog about last night, but I was in so much pain, I headed out to the hot tub, and then off to bed. Now I don't remember it. But, as soon as I can figure out how to scan some pics, I have some cute ones to share.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

It doesn't suck

Okay, so the plan was, put WTW out for crit, then go through and edit TMB. Guess what? I read TMB, and other than a couple of teeny tiny things, I read it and thought, "Wow, this is really good. I don't suck."


So I sent that off to crit, and I'm hoping I don't get a big fat "YOU SUCK" back. I'm a little nervous about these two crits, because they're new critters to me. I hope they don't think I suck.

But whatever. Allow me to ride on the high of not suckage for now, because I decided that I need to work on writing something new, and I'll tell you, the words just didn't flow. To be honest, after TMB, which is SUCH an emotional book, everything I have started seems pretty dang shallow and silly.

WHAT?!? I am the queen of shallow and silly. What's wrong with me? However, I don't really have anything deep and inspirational on the brain either. There's just this big fat void of... nothing. You see, this is what I get from working on two big deep books in a row. Not to mention The Book.

Can we just pretend that my posts aren't largely editorializing as it is and allow me to editorialize a little here. Oh wait. It's my blog, I can do what I want. *humming the tune to It's my party* See! I do know some songs other than what Todd Agnew sings.

I'm digressing again. I hope this is a sign that shallow and silly Danica is on her way back. So the whole "The Book" thing. I forget where I was going with that. Oh. Yeah. I was just thinking about where God and I are at right now, and I feel like I'm stagnating. Still much more energized than before, but my flame is just not as hot. Or is it more the case that my flame is still hot, but I'm used to it now, so it doesn't feel so hot anymore? But anyway, I haven't felt led to write anything on it lately. I can't decide-if it's a God book, then I should write when and what God tells me to, right? Or is this like a regular book, where I write all the time, regardless of whether or not the muse is speaking?

ACK! I'm being serious!! Somebody save me!!

Friday, June 23, 2006

Real Quick-like

I'm not dead.

Looked at the house, it's too far in the mountains.

Man justified his thoughts on giving baby stuff away saying we could get more if we have one. He's sounding more like he's open to another baby. I'm not holding my breath. The roller coaster is too hard for me, and so I'm pretty much at the "Whatever God" point. If He wants me to have more kids, I will. If not, I won't. I just don't understand why He hasn't taken the desire away.

Took kiddos swimming at a pool I'd been wanting to try. It's close, and it's so tucked into a neighborhood that most people don't know it's there. AKA it was pretty not crowded. Got to read a book, so that was good.

Came home with a raging headache, that I'd actually woken up with. Hmmm... this won't be a quickie after all, because I have to tell you about my stinking morning.

DH's phone rings. He gets up to get it. I open one eye to see what time it is. I freak out, because we have to have kiddo to school in 30 minutes and drop off the dog at the vet's on the way, and then head up to the mountains to look at this house. UGH. I start racing around, freaking out, trying to get everything together, and That Man was doing some dumb thing, so I yell at him.

"What are you doing? You can't waste time on stupid crap. We're late and you have to help me."
"I'm getting my car ready, some guy wants to look at it."
"Are you high? We don't have time for this. You're the one who set up this house thing, I can't believe you're doing this car thing. Was that who was on the phone?"
"Um, honey?"
"Don't um, honey me. We're wasting time. Do you know what time it is?"
"It's 6:30 in the morning."
"No it's not. When I looked at the clock, it said 8:30. I have to have Bay to school and the dog to the groomer by 9."
He looks at his watch. "My watch says it's 6:30"
"But the clock by the bed..."
He shows me his cell phone. "This says 6:30 too."

We go into the house and sure enough, it's 6:30. The phone rang, waking me from a deep sleep and good dream, and without my glasses, the numbers on the clock looked like an 8 rather than a 6. I grumble, he kisses me (see why I can only joke about murdering him? Who else would put up with this?), I go back to bed, and he goes to meet this guy about the car.

Well, the guy didn't buy the car. Which is really annoying because what sort of jerk calls at 6:30 AM to see a car and then doesn't have the decency to buy it? DH came home, collapsed on the couch (I'd been tossing and turning in bed-could NOT get back to sleep). We got up, got the kiddo off, dog dropped off, and headed for the hills. Could NOT find this house. But we did see another one I really liked. However, they both were pretty far out there, and it would add another 25 minutes to DH's commute. Not exactly a good thing with the gas prices.

Got home at about 10:30, I went back to bed until 1:30, because the headache that started when I was RUDELY woken up at 6:30 was too much to bear. Got up, felt guilty that I hadn't done anything with the family (and felt a little better, although stil groggy), so I suggested this pool. Had fun at the pool, looked at a few more houses, because there's a lot for sale in that neighborhood and I wouldn't mind living there. Found a new development they're putting in-quite possibly, I may end up buying a brand new house, depending on what they price the houses at.

Came home, head was hurting again, didn't feel like making dinner, so we went out to dinner. Dinner was good. It was Souper Salad, nothing spectacular, but it worked. I like going there. Came home, finally took some pills, played a game so I would be able to sleep tonight and now am here. I don't make sense now, do I? I don't think I do. It's so weird, have you ever watched the movie, Fantasia? That's what my brain is doing right now. Tee Hee.

Oh, I forgot the other part of my nap-I had all sorts of really weird, messed up dreams. This one particular girl that dislikes me for some reason (I don't know why-I have no beef with her, except that she's never been particularly nice to me) was in it, and she was being mean to me. I was being nice to her, and the friends we have in common were there, trying to get me to hang out with them, but mean girl was mean about it. Weird. Probably means something. Like I need a life.

Going to bed now.

Two in One Night

I'm so good.

Found the synopsis, it's usable, with fixes, of course.

However, in searching for the synopsis, I realized I have a much larger problem. I am so freaking disorganized. This using two computers is killing me. I have files on one, but not on the other, some on my beloved Flash, and for whatever reason, when I set up The Mistress, the folders were funky, and so I can never figure out where I put anything. ACK!!! I know I had more written on The Book, but can I find THOSE files? No.

I need to find someone with a severe case of OCD who LIKES organizing computers to come over and make some sense of these two machines. And then I need to do something about switching over all the time. The really sad thing is that I've pretty much abandoned My Baby (the desktop) in favor of The Mistress (my laptop) since I got my very own office. It's just that most of the time, I need to be on The Mistress to supervise children, and by the time they're in bed, I'm comfy on the couch with The Mistress and don't want to move.

I know, I have such a pathetic life, whining because I have two computers. I started to say that someone really should shoot me, and then I had a little voice whisper in my ear, "Is that really what you want to happen?" Not really. I'd prefer it if God played Genie, waved His magic wand and fixed it all for me so I wouldn't have to stress over it all.

I'm going to bed now.

Peace be the journey people.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Could someone please shoot me?

Soooo... had another great day today. Again, got much accomplished. I went to my friend's house to see her new baby. I got to hold the baby for two whole hours. :) Bliss.

Insert "I want a baby" temper tantrum.

I think I have decided to see if I can volunteer at the local hospital holding babies. I just love them so much. And since I'm the only member of this family on board with the having ten kids program, I'll just have to co-opt someone else's. Speaking of, my advice to single women is that if the intend to marry, don't marry on old dude. I realize this is contrary to my prior advice of marry an old guy so he dies first and you get all the life insurance money. However, old guy may not be too into the whole ten kids thing because he thinks he's too old. Then again, I could always have my old guy killed off and THEN marry some spring chicken who will let me have ten kids. Think I could put that in a personal ad:

Wanted: Christian man willing to knock off current hubby in order to marry me and procreate. Seeking approximately ten children. Please forward resume and complete health records to determine genetic viability and superiority. Must be gainfully employed and able to support said ten children.

Yeah, I know, I'm a loon. That Man is just driving me nuts right now. Within the space of an evening, he's made comments that make me think he'll let me have more kids, and then, he makes comments about giving away our baby stuff. ACK!!! Please! Someone, anyone! Shoot one of us!

Tomorrow, he's taking me to look at a house. I'm semi excited, because it seems to be what we're looking for. HOWEVER, can I just stop this parade before it starts and say that he STILL DOES NOT HAVE A JOB! A mortgage company would have to be on crack to give us a loan. (And no, this is not an invitation for stupid mortgage spam) Our house is not yet ready to sell, since ALL of the projects are STILL in some state of unfinished (although many are close to completion). So why, Why, WHY am I getting excited over going to look at some stupid house? God, deal with this or I'm going to go nuts.

Actually, that wasn't what I originally wanted to be shot over. Although, so far, we have two reasons to shoot me. So here it is... magic "Shoot me now" reason number three.

I finished my revisions on WTW.

Hold the applause.

As I was preparing to post it for this critique group I'm a part of, I read the posting rules. Back cover blurb, blah freaking blah... (which I don't have). And guess what I have ALSO not written?

The suckopsis, er synopsis.

Actually, I think I have an old one on the other computer. Ergh. I wrote it three or four years ago. It probably does not reflect the changes to the story. It probably is unusable. But I should probably look at it anyway.

And I was so looking forward to working on edits for Their Miracle Baby, which is next on the list. Hahahahahahahahaha

Let's just open The Book and forget all this crap, shall we? As if I could. I posted something to the effect of WTW having been requested last year in Reno, and I got the whole "if you pitch, you need to send, blah blah blah" lecture. Not mocking her at all. She's right. The whole reason I'm gung ho on subbing WTW is that I feel like there was this commitment to subbing it, and if I don't get it out there, it's my integrity on the line, and I just can't do that. I already feel like crap for it taking so long. So fine.

Heigh ho, Heigh ho... it's off to write a synopsis I go...

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Homicidal, thanks for asking...

My plans for a great day yesterday started out with good intentions. Playdate was awesome, discovered a great new park that is far away, but worth the drive for a family outing. Then we went to the one gal's house.

For those of you who have cats, I love you. BUT... I will probably never go to your house unless you PROMISE me you will keep the cats away from me and thoroughly clean before I come in.

Yep, she had cats. Two of 'em. And she very apologetically told us that she hadn't cleaned in a while. One hour later, I went home. I barely made it to my house before my eyes swelled shut. Fun, eh? So I doped up on drugs and have been pretty much useless since then. While all this loveliness was occurring, the period that I thought was going to be nice for a change decided to get in on the action and developed raging cramps. I believe it's a conspiracy. Where's Oliver Stone when you need him?

So I'm recovering. My brain is still very fuzzy and I'm thinking it'll be early to bed for me tonight. I am back on track with doing all my good stuff that I was so proud of me for doing the other day, although I did not exercise today. Come ON! I'm sore from the other day, plus cramps, so this body just ain't moving, okay? I want to DIE just going up and down the stairs.

I did go to the chiro today and he has a new massage therapist, who rubbed my shoulders for a while. Heaven, I tell you, heaven! So when I get to heaven, will I get all the massages I want? Or will I not need them because I'm not as stresed? Still, stress or not, massages feel really good!

I'm slightly annoyed right now, because God keeps putting people in my life who annoy me. And I think, "why?" Let's just smite this creature and get it out of my life. So here's what this person did to annoy me... this person both publicly and privately corrected me over something stupid, asinine, and worse, something I didn't need corrected on. Yes, we know I have ego issues anyway. But come ON! Guys, I'm a nerd. Don't try to out nerd me. All it does is annoy me. Probably, there are a lot of people nerdier than I. That's fine. But why bother trying to go up against me? In the process, you just prove what a jerk you are. Plus, you ultimately prove that you are an idiot, rather than a nerd because in trying to prove me wrong, you've proven me right. (Except that no one sees it amongst the "you are an idiot" condescending crap you spew) In the future, you should a.) have your facts straight before trying to show how "wrong" I am b.) actually READ what you are correcting and c.) give your brain time to process your idiotic thoughts before allowing them to slip out of your mouth.

I feel better now. How about you?

Off to edit now... I'm going to nail that one scene and send it away to folks to read before I give it one last spiffying up before my end of month deadline to send to the editor. I sound so cheery for feeling like I need to spew...

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

A rockin' good day

No, I didn't sell a book.

I woke up this morning, on my own, mind you, early enough to get the Bay-ster ready for day camp, pack her lunch, all that stuff, and take her. That Man was still in bed. Usually, I'm irritated as all get out when that happens, but for some reason, I just wanted him to get rest. Took her to school in my jammies, and she was having a needy day, but we got through it.

Came home, chilled with the Kay-mer, took a shower, put on a movie for her, and started picking up the house. Snacked on some mango slices (LOVE mango), That Man came home from part shopping, and took the kiddo to do more shopping and pick up the Bay-ster. While they were out, I cleaned my house.

No, I'm not sick. And no, we aren't having company.

I started picking up a few days ago, and it just feels so good to have a clean house. The cleaner it is, the better I feel. Right now, I feel so awesome. There's still a lot to do, but I wouldn't be embarrassed to have anyone over right now.

After that, I took Bay, and we went to the post office and bank. And YAY! You know those mail in offers you get when you buy stuff? I always think I'm going to send them in and never remember until the deadline. Well guess what? I remembered! Today was the deadline, so now I get two free bras. :) AND... I decided that I need to make savings more of a priority, so rather than putting my whole check where it will get spent, I put some in savings. :) Then, we went to Mickey D's for an ice cream. While Bay played, I got to play with my new toy-I ordered a purse sized Bible from Amazon and it came today, so I had it to read.

At Mickey D's, I called the doctor, because Bay has been having earaches, and they said they had an opening in an hour (which NEVER happens). We picked up and went to the doctor's, who ruled that Bay's ear is perfectly fine, but gave me a script for antibiotics just in case. (Which I won't fill-I think they are so overused) However, on the way to the doctor's, I was having trouble with my car overheating (driving in 90+ heat with the heater full blast is not fun), so I called DH and told him I was going to take it slow going home since it was rush hour. Well, I got about a mile from the doc's, and my car started overheating really bad. I called DH and told him I was going to just hang out downtown until rush hour was over, so that if I broke down, I wouldn't be in danger. He said to hang tight and he'd come get us.

Well, we went to Johnny Rockett's-Bay and I grabbed a bite to eat, and it was so fun, because she felt like such a big girl, out on the town with Mom. DH got there, ate, and then went to look at my car while the girls and I window shopped. Fortunately, I decided to give up the fight with my car right next to the Mother Ship-Barnes and Noble. :) DH couldn't figure out what was wrong, but by then, rush hour was over, so I drove home, dying of heat stroke, and he followed me in case I had trouble. He did volunteer to let me take his car, but I'm afraid of driving that big thing. Got home, DH looked in the big manual, figured out it was a relay, bought the part, fixed my car.

I came home, opened the rest of my Amazon delivery and FINALLY got to watch Buffy. None of the video places here even have it, so I broke down and got the DVD from Amazon. Only 7 bucks, what a deal! DH was able to watch Buffy with me, he thought it was corny. DUH!!! That's the whole point!

Sounds like a boring day, eh? I think what made it so great is that there are so many things I know I should be doing and don't do. Small daily habits that I should prioritize and don't. I even FLOSSED! (Got the floss lecture last week at the dentist-no cavities, though.) Every little thing I should do and don't do, I did it today. I even exercised! And am writing now. I can officially say, at the conclusion of this post, other than some minor tweaking I want to do once I find some notes I made somewhere, and having someone crit this thing and then me fix from there, I AM DONE WITH MY EDITS!!

Tomorrow, I have a morning play date, and am going to do a few more things around the house, and am really going to try to have as stellar of a day as I did today. Life is so good.

Monday, June 19, 2006

The Irresistible Revolution

I know, it's been a while since my last post. That electricity deal again...

I mentioned a while back, reading The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne. It's really been messing with my head in terms of making me think about poverty and wealth and what I'm supposed to do with what I have materially. Tonight, I think I finally nailed what it means.

Tonight was our Bible study group's night to prepare and serve dinner for a local teen shelter. It really got me thinking a lot about what I read in Shane's book. While we sat and ate with these kids, one of the guys asked why we were doing it, etc, and my friend told him about our church. One guy sounded like he wanted to check it out, but the others sitting around us started a debate about God. I felt so bad for one girl, because she was a professing Christian, and the others were ganging up on her. To them, "Christian" meant being a judgmental jerk who wanted to send fire and brimstone on them for being heathens. She finally said, "Look, I don't want to fight anymore. Let's just drop it." I'll be honest-I didn't know what to say or do. How does one defend against such bad experiences, that for these people, were the truth of Christianity? I hoped, and prayed, that at least these people would see the love of Christ in us. We weren't there to judge, just to make them dinner, share a meal, and hang out.

I think prior to reading Shane's book, I would have tried to think of a clever argument or something, and then kicked myself for not having a great comeback. I still wish I'd had something to say to them that would have been a good witness sort of thing, but I'm hoping our actions spoke for themselves.

The other neat thing that came about with all of this is that when we were all hanging out, the guys noticed the basketball hoop and asked if the kids wanted to play. The director said that they didn't have a basketball because theirs were all lost or stolen or destroyed. My hubby jumped in the car and ran over to WalMart and bought some balls and things. When he walked in with the balls, I don't think I've ever seen such excitement at the news that those were their new balls.

I can't stop thinking about it. This may sound dumb, but I think it's a sort of picture of what Shane was trying to illustrate about the Christian life. They had a need, and there was an immediate response to physically meet the need. Not, "I'll pray about it," or "You should be grateful you got dinner," or "I'll see if we can find a way to do it." Just got up, went out, and bought the balls.

In Acts 2:45, in the description of the early church, it says,"Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need." I always thought that was some radical thing like what Shane taught about. But if you juxtapose that with 2 Corin 8:13-15, it may be a lot simpler than that. "13Our desire is not that others might be relieved while you are hard pressed, but that there might be equality. 14At the present time your plenty will supply what they need, so that in turn their plenty will supply what you need. Then there will be equality, 15as it is written: "He who gathered much did not have too much, and he who gathered little did not have too little.""

As I think about the selection in 2 Corinthians, I think about that youth shelter-I think about the needs of people I know, needs I am capable of meeting. Maybe, rather than feeling like I have to radically change to be like Shane, it's as simple as recognizing needs in the world around me and just meeting those needs. The radical thing about it-which completely blows my mind-what if we all stepped up to that challenge? Not selling all our stuff and moving to the inner city or going to Africa, but just taking the time to notice the people around us and meeting their needs. Would anyone on earth have a need if we all worked together to help each other? Because truly, most of the needs we have are pretty simple.

Okay, off to ponder some more...

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Yes, I'm still alive!

I know, you're all eagerly awaiting another post for me. I've promised Heather a post about culverts. Yes, I'll get there. However, due to some freakish things with the power company, we've been without power every night for the past two nights. I'm talking twelve hour spurts here. NOT fun. Especially during a record heat wave. Tonight, it's cooled down, and we still have power, thank God!

I did learn about living in the olden times, folding laundry and reading by candlelight. I was hungry, though, and since I didn't want to open the fridge, let out the cold air, and spoil my food, I returned to the 21st century and hit the local Sonic.

I love Sonic.

When I'm done writing this scene, I'll be back. On page 360/366

Tuesday, June 13, 2006


Yep, that's where I'm at on my edits. Which is a semi bummer, because I'd hoped to hit 400 with all of the edits. However, I do have one more scene to write, and I think the ending is a bit choppy. So I may get there yet. :)

Haven't written any more on The Book. But one thing at a time. Or at least in one day. Or at least in one sitting and thinking period. It's hot tonight.

I started a funny post on My Space, but it messed up. My Space is not real user friendly, I've decided. I suppose it's like everything else, you have to figure out how to do it and then it's easy, but give me a break. I've got message boards and two other blogs to keep up on so having to learn the My Space rules is just stinky.

Why can't everything be standardized?

Speaking of standardized, I finally upgraded Firefox to the newer version. Ooooh, I said what browser I use. Now all the hackers are going to come after me. *mock horrified gasp* And I upgraded Acrobat reader, it kept locking up my computer when I used it because it was such an old version. I hate having to keep up on all these changes. Why can't things stay the same? Or at least change slower! Like my cell phone. I just got mine two years ago, but it was getting old and messed up, so I had to get a new one. Do they have just plain old cell phones? No, of course not. So I have this fancy thing with all these bells and whistles that I don't know how to work, and frankly, I don't want to know how they work. All I want is a phone. That's it. And the camera comes in handy once and a while. But that's it. Not any of this other weird stuff. But I got it. So here I am, Ms. Techno Fighter. If anyone wants to come over and finish upgrading all my programs, and then teach me how to use my phone (and by the way, I don't have the same ring, and I keep not realizing it's my phone ringing because I don't remember what my new ring sounds like).

Yep, I'm hopeless.

Okay, it's really hot in here right now. I don't feel like working on The Book. Plus, I got a new shipment of books in. The new Hannah Alexander book is calling my name...

Monday, June 12, 2006

Shallow Observations from Spa Day

I think... it was a pretty deep experience.

First off, can I just make a comment about hotel rooms? Thin walls suck. The Inn was pretty empty, only 3 or 4 rooms were occupied, and we were all in a row. I got to sleep next to a very exuberant couple. I was getting ready for dinner and I heard moans. I'm like oh-kay, time to go now. I came back, and the neighbors were quiet, so I was happy. But then, I'm chatting with hubby, and they go at it again. FINALLY, they stop, and apparently, it was pretty good for the guy, because he spent the rest of the night SNORING. They woke me up at 6 AM with further antics, I tried to sleep, but I ended up heading into town for breakfast. I don't know how I was able to eat, but at least it was better than listening to them. I came back, and the room was quiet. I went back to sleep, but would you believe they woke me up AGAIN? Fortunately, it was check out time, so I checked out and headed in to the spa.

So, for all of you who go to the hotel to have a little fun, ask for a room away from others, or at least be quiet about it!

I mentioned about naked women not looking like supermodels. Seriously, I want to know... how many of us have those flat stomachs? We're curved, baby, CURVED!!

Also, I went out for a nice dinner on my own, and I ate at this Italian place. Pretty much everything on the menu was $12. I asked for the specials, and she mentioned this steak thing that sounded really good. (Best steak I've ever had). They had another steak dish on the menu and it was $16, so I figured it would be around that price, since they never mention prices with specials. Thirty seven dollars and a full belly later, I left the restaurant. So basically the special (and I always thought the specials were supposed to be a good deal) was DOUBLE the price of anything else on the menu!

However, it really was the most delicious steak I'd ever had.

My brain can't think of anything else. I did add 7 pages to The Book, so that's good, right?

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Spa Days...

Yep, I'm back from my wonderful trip to the spa. Still sort of in blissful recovery mode. I got there at about 2 pm on Thursday, returned home at about 4 pm on Friday. So 26 hours of bliss. I told That Man when I do it again, and I will be doing it again, I want more time. It just wasn't quite enough.

Things accomplished on my time away:

Mud Bath: Mmmmmm.... soft skin... slimy mud... totally worth the ick.

Cave Bath: Okay, now I have to admit to this one being a bit weird for me. The cave baths are mandatory nude. Granted, it's just women in there, but I'm not much for showing off my naked body, and I'm really not all that interested in seeing others naked. Although I will say this-in the total time I was there, there was about 30 or so women who passed through the caves. For the sake of all of us that do not look like supermodels, allow me to share this tidbit: Not one of them looked like a supermodel. Every single one of us was saggy and flabby. How a real woman should look. It was still a good experience, I loved being in the steaming cave, and alternating between that and the cooler pools, even though it was a pain having to put back on a wet bathing suit in order to go out to the regular pools.

Hot Springs Pool: Not as hot as I'd like, but the caves were super hot, so between the two, it was just right.

Time with God: I was starting to email a friend about it, and decided to share, so here you go: I did get some good time with Jesus... part of it was in these steam cave baths where you just sat quietly and soaked in the steam. I couldn't read in there because my glasses got all fogged up, so all I could do was sit in the cave and worship God. It's amazing how clear God is when you're sitting in the depths of the earth that God created, with hot steam that He created billowing all around you as you sit in the God-made hot water. If I'd been alone in those caves, I'd have broken the mandatory silence rule and sang, even though my voice is crappy, because it would've been so cool to echo out my worship to God. But I bet He heard my heart anyway.

Reading: Yes, I got some reading done. Didn't do the Bible, because I didn't want to get the pages wet. So I brought five books and read them all. Some good, some not so good, but hey, I got to do something I love to do and haven't had time to do in a really long time. :)

Passions: I will comment on one book I read, Deadlock by James Scott Bell. I used to really want to be a lawyer, but decided that screwing people for money was morally repugnant, so gave up on that one. Reading this book reminded me of that passion for the law. I've always wanted to be a supreme court justice because I love digging into the law and legal principles. It got me to thinking about my passions in general. I've been passionate about a lot of things, and for a variety of reasons, given them up. So what I want to know, is was it passion or infatuation? Like the law thing... I yearn for that kind of stuff, and yet, reality is I'll never pursue it. I don't want to be some lawyer trying to win. I want to dissect the law and look at it from a justice standpoint. I love the principles, and think the application has been completely bastardized to fit the agendas of different groups. But since we don't work in that realm here on earth, I didn't see much of a point in chasing that dream.

So where is the relevance to where I'm at? Sometimes I wonder if I didn't chase certain passions because deep down, I was afraid I couldn't cut it. After being torn apart (literally) by my "friends" in college, I didn't think I could handle having that for the rest of my life-constantly battling over stupid issues that don't matter only to have one (or none) shot at really making a difference. I look at my passion for the mideast and wonder why I really gave it up-yes, because I wanted a family. But I think I also feared that deep down, I couldn't cut it. When I lived in Israel, I was pretty miserable. Now, here I am at my writing... struggling because I can't figure out what I'm doing with it after five years of trying to sell. Am I struggling because I'm really struggling, or am I struggling because this is yet another thing that's really important to me that I don't think I can cut it in. Pretty ironic since I was always one of the "successful" ones, Magna Cum Laude, and all that meaningless crap. Everyone always thought I was so smart, and I always figured I was just a big phoney who was good at passing for smart.

Which means, I've had to buckle down and commit myself to getting it done. I am committed to finishing edits and sending out my chick lit for crits by the end of the month. I will mail it by the end of next month. I'm pitching the secret baby book in Atlanta. I want it ready to stick in the mail when it's requested. Those are my goals. I'm publicly committing to it, because I'm not going to hide behind the, "well my vision has changed" crap. I've done it twice now, okay, three times, since I also gave up grad school to get married. Or so I said. I didn't think I was smart enough for that either.

The truth is, there's a lot of crappy books out there. A lot of good ones, too. But you know, the only difference between me and some of that crap out there is that they stuck with it.

When I sat at dinner (by myself, thank you very much! I've NEVER done that), I jotted a few notes regarding this and my writing. I'll leave you with the questions I asked myself, and for commitment's sake, I'm going to go and knock out at least a page or two.

Am I writing about things that matter?
What is worthy of writing about?
How can I use my writing to enrich the lives of others?
More importantly, how can I allow God to work in this process to His glory?
Most importantly, am I asking these questions because they need to be asked and answered in my life, or am I merely stalling so that I have a reasonable excuse to change courses and not look like such a wimp?

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Lunch with Dr. Phil

Back when I was a part of the corporate world, I worked with this guy named Phil. I'm referring to him as Dr. Phil, because he's always a good one to go to for advice. Phil and I, during the boring parts of the day, would sit in his office and talk about the deeper things in life. We click. He's not bored by my deep thoughts and I'm not bored with his. Plus, he speaks a brand of conservatism that I not only love but very much believe in. And before you liberals start whining, understand that we use conservatism in the classical sense, not the bastardized American sense.

Phil also has the distinction of being my very first convert. (I know, God does it all, but just bear with me) Now, most of you who know me know that I'm not comfortable with the whole "shove it down people's throats" method of salvation. It was people like that who kept me out of church for a long time. Anyway, we often talk about faith and Christ and all that, always have. I knew he was an agnostic, and I didn't care. I loved him anyway. And one day, he comes to me and tells me that he's been born again-and it's thanks to the example I led in his life. So it was pretty cool, especially considering he is very close friends with one of the leading experts in modern worship today, and it was my testimony that spoke to him.

Why am I telling this story? Well, it's not to toot my own horn, even though I, having no gifts for evangelism, am pretty psyched that God used me anyway. But that is the point... God will use you in whatever way He sees fit, and you never know when that's going to happen.

Which was exactly the point of my lunch with Dr. Phil. When we first met, I was a newlywed, he was an oldlywed to a woman he loved very much. He was a mentor in some respects. Then his life fell apart, wife informed him that she didn't love him, asked for a divorce, and went her merry way. He turned to alcohol, and struggled with an addiction for a couple of years before seeking help. I never knew he had a problem until he was active in AA and had stayed sober for a while. I remember how his voice trembled when he told me about it, like he was afraid I'd reject him. I just loved him and told him I'd wished I'd known so I could have helped him through it. He reassured me, saying that I had helped him through it. Because I was the only person he knew who'd been willing to live the gospel in his life, and who'd made him hunger for God so that when the time came to battle his addiction, he had Christ on his side.

When I arrived at the office on the day I started my job and met this funny looking, nerdy accountant, I had no idea that I'd make an impact on his life. I had no idea that this guy, who seemingly had it all together, was on the verge of completely losing it, and that when he did lose it, no one would know. But because I was real with him, God was able to use me in his life. And even though he hid his problems and his addictions behind a smile and a bottle of alcohol, God was there, supporting him.

You don't ever know the lives you're going to impact-sometimes until the time has long past. It struck me most today, because he revealed some depths in the loss of his wife that I hadn't known. And here's the cool thing. I talk about how I never would have known the impact I made on his life by meeting him and sharing with him. There's this girl in his life, a woman now, that he'd become a surrogate father to years ago when he was her teacher. Back then, he'd had no idea how badly she'd need a father figure in her life. He'd had no idea that his love and caring for her sustained her and her family through some rocky times. It's a seed that has taken years to germinate, and this weekend, as she walks down the aisle, he's going to give her away.

I'm becoming more and more aware of my actions, as I see how Phil's life has been impacted as a result of my being in it. I look back at how others have impacted my life, both negatively and positively. And when I look at my role in the lives of others, I hope that there's more people than not who can say I had a positive impact. I don't expect that everyone will be like Phil, and it will be significantly better, but I do hope that the people who I encounter will find that their lives will be better, not worse, for having met me.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Held Hostage by a Terrorist

And it was nothing like how I thought it would be.

The two year old has now figured out how to open her bedroom door. It's bad enough the little monster can get out of bed and destroy the room during naptime, but now she can get out and destroy my house.

After fighting to keep her in the room for an hour, I decided to try a new tactic. I brought the little bundle of energy into my room for the nap. I grabbed a book and held her, thinking she'd fall asleep if she got some mommy snuggles. Instead, Mommy got a concussion and I think possibly a broken toe. Okay, I may be exaggerating on the concussion, but I do think my toe might be broken. Finally I decided that if I let her run amok in the bedroom, she'd tire herself out and go to sleep.


My bedroom now looks like hers. Except... with my bathroom under construction, all my bathroom items are in the bedroom. Which means I have weird and gross mixtures that are probably toxic oozing from every imaginable crevice. She painted herself with her father's deodorant. My deodorant has disappeared. Yes, we will now be known as the stinky family, since we no longer have deodorant.

Now, lest you think that my problems will be solved once I get my bathroom back (tomorrow, thank God!), I should point out that having drawers for organization rather than a cabinet has given the creature the ability to climb onto the sink so she can get into the medicine cabinet. Thus far, she has painted the bathroom with toothpaste twice.

After a nearly four hour standoff, I gave up the fight, handed her off to her father, and went to church to deal with other people's screaming babies. There's these two snuggly ones that I love, so it was nice to have a baby to snuggle with who won't head butt me.

However, it does bring me to a more serious thought, because I am seriously going crazy. She is literally ten times the energy of Bay (who, as some of you know, is pretty high energy-you may remember some of my Bay baby stories. Kay has topped them all, and usually earlier than Bay did them).

I wanted to just sit there and cry. I cannot control a two year old. She is destroying my house, destroying my peace, and just making me crazy. If I start picking one thing up, she destroys something else. I can't keep up. I've been a Flylady member for a long time now, only halfheartedly do it, but frankly, even if I was fully doing it, it wouldn't make a difference. Because let me just tell you... *F* Flylady. All of that crap is well and good, but when you have a terrorist roaming the house, it gets messed up faster than you can say "hotspot". I have to be constantly watching her, constantly following her, because the one second that I don't, it ends up being an environmental catastrophe of the worst sort.

Did I tell you about the lost trophy? You know, me, the great contest coordinator who LOST one of trophies for one of the winners? I know what happened to it. The terror child is holding it hostage and if I could just figure out how her evil little mind works, I'd find the bloody thing. Instead, I'm going to have to fork out fifty bucks to replace it, and then she'll tell me what she did with it.

So this is me... writer extraordinaire, seeker of the Lord, super mommmy, loving wife, brought to her knees by a mere two year old. As soon as I finish my study for the night, I'm going to clean a bit more, go to bed, and then wake up to find she's gotten up sometime in the middle of the night and set off a few bombs. I wish I were kidding.

Why is it illegal to duct tape your kids? And please, don't give me your crap about proper discipline. The monster gets disciplined. She just doesn't care. Which is why I think I deserve a dispensation from the law and should get permission to just duct tape her now and then. But no, instead, I have to let her terrorize the universe.

Don't get me wrong here. I adore the little monkey. But man... this testing her limits phase is really killing me. I had to keep reminding myself all day that this is a phase, she will grow out of it, and I just need to be firm and consistent.

I SO need this upcoming spa day!

Monday, June 05, 2006

The Seven Year Itch

It's our seventh anniversary today. Wahoo us! I'm not sure what itches, you know the funny thing about this whole seven year itch thing is that I actually think that in some ways, things with us are better than ever. So here's my toast to That Man... Axe Murder style:

Shut it!

I’d like to propose a toast to my husband Randy.

Seven years ago today, Randy and I were married. Some you were there, some of you weren’t born, and some of you are deed. But, we both said I do, and we haven’t agreed on a single thing since. Except on important issues such as the value of duct tape in dealing with our children. But I’m glad I married you, Randy, because eh, it could have been worse. And besides, I still love you.

And I have to say, he did a very wonderful thing for me. I sort of knew about half of it, but not totally, and the other half completely blew me away. Remember the Mother's Day fiasco, where I was very specific in what I wanted? Well, of course, I didn't get it and I was slightly peeved. Half of the anniversary gift was a gift certificate to spend the night at a nearby hot springs spa-alone. Weird, for our anniversary, but he literally was prepared to send me off by myself tonight. I have to say, that is the best gift and most amazing sacrifice. He's a pretty sentimental guy, so to let me leave on our anniversary... I asked him if he picked tonight because it was a scheduling issue or what, and he said no, his schedule is open, but he wanted to do this for me. I told him that I'd rather spend our anniversary together and I can go to the spa later in the week. :) So he done good and I'm pretty twitterpated. Almost to the point that I'm half tempted to ask him to come. But then I get selfish and think... a whole day and night alone at the spa...

The other half, which I think I mentioned when I found the envelope addressed to him from the Center for the Performing Arts, is he got me tickets for us to go to a show. I didn't know which show, the turkey wouldn't tell me. But now I know, and it was exactly the show I'd hoped for: Movin Out , which is based on Billy Joel's song, Movin Out. :) I adore Billy Joel. Probably my first favorite musician. I've loved him since I was, well, since as long as I can remember. The only other song I remember from my early childhood is the theme song from The Greatest American Hero. :)

Anyway... I felt bad that I didn't get my cool gift ready, but I did have another thing I'd gotten him and he likes it, so it's all good. :) I'd thought, from the sounds of what he'd planned that we were going out, but instead it was that he was sending me out. Since I couldn't find a babysitter, we ended up going to Casa Bonita and taking the kiddos. It was a lot of fun.

Saving the world one Todd Agnew song at a time

Now, obviously I don't know him personally, unless our one photo counts. However, from what I do know of him, he's humble enough that he'd probably be embarrassed by that title, so we just won't tell him, okay? Or maybe he'd realize I'm being cheeky and funny tonight and have a good laugh over what a dork I am. I just want to make sure he gets lots of face time on my blog so that all of my loyal readers go out and buy his CDs, go to his concerts, and all that-if they haven't already done so.

So today's Todd Agnew ministry moment...

In our small group, we did a worship time/prayer walk, which was awesome. And my beloved Jodi started us off with a Todd Agnew song. I was ashamed to say, that almost all of our group was like, "who is this?" We had to educate them. Of course it was from GLR, not ROS, which is the one I've been plugging. Note to self: make sure each Todd album gets equal plug time. The song we worshipped to was Romans 12:1, very appropriate. :) Also, as a side note, Jodi says to me, "You know, I've met Todd." I didn't get the whole story, but apparently it was before he ever recorded his first album. She thinks he's cool too. :) So really, that's all you need to know. I think he's cool. Jodi thinks he's cool. And if you know what's good for you, you'll think he's cool too. Oh, and our gang enjoyed worship time, so see, God used Todd to rock the house. Literally, but that's another story.

And then, I get home and am doing my stuff, and Heather decides she needs to chat. Which is fine, because my really cool anniversary gift idea for That Man was not working out right, so I'm going to plan B. I hate knowing that he got me a really cool gift, because anything I do is going to be so lame compared to him. But anyway...

As we were chatting, I said, you know, this reminds me of a Todd song. Actually, it's a Barlow Girl song. But Todd sings in it. So she looked it up, and she agrees. It's awesome. And it totally fits.

The song is Psalm 73 (My God's Enough)
I've had enough of living life for only me
And reaching just for the things that keep destroying me
So sick of envying the lives of so many I see
Somehow believing that they have what I need

My God's enough for me
This world has nothing I need
In this whole life I've seen
My God's enough, enough for me

I can't explain why I suffer though I live for You
Those who deny You they have it better than I do
Cover my eyes now so that my heart can finally see
That in the end only You mean anything

Who have I in heaven but You
Nothing I desire but You
My heart may fail but not You
You are mine forever

So yeah. Todd is the coolest. Every problem in life can be solved by a song he sings on. Probably because they're all somehow related to the Bible, so they are related to God and all that. So yeah. Not really Todd. He's just the messenger. But oh, he is a cool messenger to listen to. I could (and do) listen to that voice of his for hours.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

I love my life


I know, I usually whine about my life, and that's the fun of blogging. But today, as I was looking through the photos on my puter for a good one of my dog (an impossible task, since they're all freaking NUMBERED, and not, "this is the dog"), I got all teary eyed.

I have an amazing family.

I have amazing children.

I have an amazing husband.

We've done some pretty cool things together.

A very good thing to keep in mind since I've been plotting his murder again. I think I'll keep him around. I kinda like him after all.

Although the whole exercise made me feel guilty-I really need to get some scrapbooking done.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Can't think of a title for true suckage

And no, I'm not talking about my writing.

I'm talking about this horrific, ridiculous movie called The Family Stone. The moron who told me it was a romantic comedy had to have been smoking some serious weed. First off, there is nothing romantic about the so-called romance in the movie. Frankly, the romance arc was sloppy and so poorly done I wanted to hurl things at the tv. Second off, there is absolutely nothing funny about the rampant insensitivity in the movie. Fart jokes I can handle, but making a person who's trying so hard to fit in look like a fool is just plain cruel. In the end, they tried redeeming it with a piss poor epilogue, but frankly, the growth arcs were so lamely done I didn't buy it.

Someone please kill me. I just wasted an entire evening on crap. This is why I don't go to theaters. The movie was highly recommended, and it was such a collosal waste of my time and the $4.50 it cost to rent the thing, I can't imagine how pissed I'd be if I'd spent double to sit in a dark, uncomfortable place where I didn't even have the distraction of my laptop.

I am now at the hard part of the revisions to this book. I thought a feel good movie would put me in the mood for digging in and getting these edits done, but at the moment, all I want is to blow something up. Sadly, in my latest terrorist book, nothing gets blown up. Which is a good thing, because my hero is a would-be suicide bomber who changes his mind. Why did I decide to write a book that would be perfect for blowing stuff up and then create a main character for whom blowing stuff up would completely destroy the story?

Okay. I'm going to go to bed now. Maybe the universe will appear happier in the morning. Or else I'll have thought up a way to blow up something in this book.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Dear Friends at Homeland Security,

I just thought I'd warn you that I am writing yet another terrorist book. Therefore, there are many Google searches from my computer looking for information on certain terrorist groups. I apologize in advance for any extra work this may put on your plate. However, I am quite certain that once this book sells, you will read it and find your life somehow enriched by my story. At least that's my plan. So, let's just get my cards on the table-I am not a terrorist, have never been a terrorist, and am quite happy to be an American.

Thank you for your consideration.

Yes, my friends, I am writing yet ANOTHER terrorist book. The funny thing about the last terrorist book is that I made a bunch of stuff up, and sort of danced around the real story I wanted to tell. This one, well, God is in there, making me be honest. Crap. So this one is not set in a fictious country, but in Israel.

Let the death threats commence.

I'm blaming this one on Shane Claiborne, which is sorta Todd Agnew's fault, because Todd recommended Shane's book, The Irresistible Revolution . Funny, I think Shane is on the watch list too. Actually, I have no idea if I am or not, but I would imagine so, given that I do lots of research on the subject.

Anyway, Shane does not talk about terrorists, at least not directly, but he spawned a few cool thoughts that ended up spawning a few more thoughts, and while I'm still processing most of those thoughts, I realized one thing I must change. I'm living in the "safe" zone of my faith.

So what's risky to me?

Editing the book I'm editing, and writing this book I've been afraid to write, because it isn't going to be popular on a lot of fronts. Funny... remember how I told you all at the conference I talked with a guy about Israel and we disagreed on some things? He's either going to love or hate this book. But I am rising to his challenge and working where I am passionate.

Welcome to life in the faith zone...