Thursday Thirteen #60: The Dumps

Thirteen Things about The Dumps Lots of dumps in my life right now... some literal, some figurative... 1. My house. It's beyond gross. 2. Family... sick and getting over colds. 3. It's been really cloudy lately. 4. Did I mention it's getting cold? 5. College kiddo is dealing with some rough things. 6. I've got so much to do, I'm overwhelmed. 7. Why doesn't my monthly come gift wrapped in pretty paper like it does on commercials? Because this sucks. 8. I have a weird sinus thing going on. 9. I'm tired for no particular reason. 10. My dog won't stop barking. 11. No school today. Again. What's up with that? They start two weeks early so they don't have to go one day a week? 12. I have to teach a class tonight. 13. I need to buy some jeans that fit.

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Something Powerful

I've been reading the Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning, and I've decided I've finally found the perfect spokesperson to my own personal theology.

"There is a myth flourishing in the church today that has caused incalculable harm: once converted, fully converted. In other words, once I accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, an irreversible, sinless future beckons. Discipleship will be an untarnished success story; life will be an unbroken upward spiral toward holiness."

Wow... Can I just raise my hand here and say that I've been one of those? Thinking that there was something wrong with me because I haven't suddenly crossed over that invisible barrier turning me into the perfect Christian. I've struggled with wondering why I haven't "gotten it" yet, and why it seems like for every step forward I take, I end up making a thousand giant leaps back.

Manning continues with, "Tell that to poor Peter who, after three times professing his love for Jesus on the beach and after receiving the fullness of the Spirit at Pentecost, was still jealous of Paul's apostolic success."

I love reading stories in the Bible where our heroes mess up. Not because I rejoice in the failure of others, but because I know that even the most perfect Christians aren't perfect.

As Manning says, "the Christ-encounter did not transfigure me into an angel. Because justification by grace through faith means I have been set in right relationship with God, not made the equivalent of a patient etherized on a table."

I have to say, this above all gives me the most hope. Jesus gave us the opportunity for a relationship with Him, not a brainwashing to turn us into little Jesus robots. If He'd wanted that, He'd have done it. We'd all be perfect little Jesus clones running around the planet, doing all the good things we're supposed to do. But it doesn't work that way. Relationship means that sometimes we do it right, sometimes we get it wrong, and together we work it out.

Isn't God cool?

Thursday Thirteen #59: Why I like Sarah Palin

Thirteen Things about why I like Sarah Palin I know, *gasp*, I never get political or talk politics on my blog. However, I happened across her speech last night, and I have to say, I was impressed. Here's why: 1. Going to make a lot of Hillary comparisons here, so here's the first. As far as I can see, she is the complete anti-Hillary. Where Hillary is cold, grasping, and someone I absolutely cannot relate to, Sarah is warm, genuine, and I can relate to her. 2. She's funny. Some of the commentary I heard talked about how they were turned off by her sarcasm. I disagree. I thought it showed she actually had a personality, as opposed to most of the politicians out there, who I think are made of wax. 3. Love this line: "We met in high school, and two decades and five children later he's still my guy." 4. Her smiles seem genuine. Maybe that doesn't seem like a big deal, but to me, the fake smiles of most politicians make me sick. 5. Another great quote: "I was just your average hockey mom, and signed up for the PTA because I wanted to make my kids' public education better." The reason this impresses me is that I was a political science/history major in college. My favorite prof used to say that his ideal presidential candidate was one who wasn't looking for the job. I believe that while Palin obviously wants the job, she didn't go looking for political power. Contrast that to Hillary, who has made her quest for power very obvious. In my opinion (and something that my prof and I always discussed), it's the people who seek power who are the most dangerous to a democracy. 6. More evidence of how she's not power hungry: "I'm not going to Washington to seek their good opinion - I'm going to Washington to serve the people of this country. Americans expect us to go to Washington for the right reasons, and not just to mingle with the right people." AMEN! 7. This, I think, is the great irony of the election: "Sudden and relentless reform never sits well with entrenched interests and power brokers. That's why true reform is so hard to achieve." We always think that the Democrats are the ones who push for reform. Certainly, in this present age, we often think of the Democrats as those who seek to shake up the political status quo. But in this election, if McCain/Palin win, the Republicans are going to do it. And I, for one, am very much looking forward to it. 8. "Our opponents say, again and again, that drilling will not solve all of America's energy problems - as if we all didn't know that already. But the fact that drilling won't solve every problem is no excuse to do nothing at all." This highlights my biggest problem with government in general. If we can't solve all the problems we sit and debate it rather than do something that will ease it. I like the fact that she's got the attitude of "let's do something until we can totally fix it." 9. "We've all heard his dramatic speeches before devoted followers. And there is much to like and admire about our opponent. But listening to him speak, it's easy to forget that this is a man who has authored two memoirs but not a single major law or reform - not even in the state senate." Now... I don't know how true this is, and this will be something I'm researching. However, given that many of the attacks on Palin are her inexperience, I think it really makes me think about whether or not Obama is experienced enough to lead a country. I appreciate that she's given me this to research and think about. 10. "Our nominee doesn't run with the Washington herd. He's a man who's there to serve his country, and not just his party. A leader who's not looking for a fight, but is not afraid of one either." Again, rousing applause from me. My friend and I were talking about McCain the other day and how he doesn't consistently fall in line with the Republicans. Neither does Palin. And you know, that's what I want in a leader. Someone willing to look at what's best for the country, not necessarily what's best for the party. 11. Her family. She's got a beautiful family. I'm frustrated that some of the attacks on her are about whether or not she can be a competent leader given that she's got a young family. Um... hello? Did anyone say that about JFK? He had babies in the White House. Was he unable to do his job because of it? The reality of what I see in Sarah Palin is that she is a regular mom, struggling to raise her kiddos just like the rest of us, who, just like the rest of us, wants to hand our children a better world than what we were given. And she will be in a tremendous position to do so. 12. Her daughter's pregnancy. I know, weird thing to say here, but you know? I respect her for how she's handling it. She didn't lie or make excuses. The fact of the matter is, as much as you try to raise your kids right, they make their own choices. And as a mom, you have to just love them through it and do what's best. To me, the example of having a mother with less than perfect kids, traveling through life, trying to figure it out with the rest of us, that's the kind of person who represents me. 13. This promise... this is what I will hold her to if they're elected: "But we are expected to govern with integrity, good will, clear convictions, and ... a servant's heart. I pledge to all Americans that I will carry myself in this spirit as vice president of the United States." Truly, my hope, and my prayer, is that every leader in America would be willing to make this promise- and keep it.

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Stuff!!

So... I had my day with the Lord. It was nice. But can I just gripe a typical American gripe? I got nothing productive done! House, still a mess. Laundry, still in a basket in the family room. Projects that are due piling up like crazy.

Monday, I worked my tail off. Some Labor Day. I labored. For one of my many jobs, it was the first of the month, so I had to do all my updates that are due on the first, but in a lot of cases, I can't get them done until the first because content isn't available until then. I also got an email from the guy overseeing the textbook I'm writing to say I needed to add something to what I'd written rather than have a supplement. Okay... Then we had a family BBQ. Then we had to get kiddos ready for school. I finally threw in the towel at 9, took a bath, and read a not-very-satisfying-why-did-I-waste-an-hour-of-my-life-on-this book.

So today, I got up, raced to get folks ready for school, dropped small one off at the school, met the new teacher who freaked out because she didn't know us (and this is my problem, why? Read the roster!), and worried the entire way to WFTJ because I have so much to do and I have no idea how I'm going to get it done.

At WFTJ, I warned them I'd be multitasking. I finished the changes to the portion of the textbook that was urgent. I set some goals. I committed to checking in with my friend Karen to stay accountable with my writing. And of course, WFTJ was as informative and uplifting as always.

Then, we went to lunch. More good times. I've missed my weekly lunches with my writing buddies. We got ready to leave, and my friend Jan mentioned she was going to write. Which was also my plan. I've decided I can't let the stress of the to-do list and my overcommitment prevent me from writing. My writing time is my writing time. Period. So we went to write. You can read her blog to find out what happened. I would just like to point out that I did NOT play Crackrat, I actually wrote and got about ten pages done. So there.

I raced home to meet the eldest kiddo, we spent time together, worked on her homework, I cleaned the kitchen, threw in a load of laundry, finished some work leftover from yesterday (and I only have a few more things to catch up on, YAY!), searched for a library book that is still missing, and am getting ready to pick up youngest kiddo, drop off the library books due today, grab a bite to eat, then head to church.

And in the midst of this, I have to ask... is all this piling up because I took a day off? It sure looks like it. However, I'm going to make a bold assertion and say that I think taking that day to relax and be filled by the Lord has given me the strength to do all of this and more. I have so much stuff to do. And yes, part of my quest in the coming months is to cut out a lot of the stuff and focus on what's important.

Here's the thing, though... I can't keep waiting on the stuff to go away to make time for what's important. I have to do it now. Which means God has to come first. Family has to be a close second. Writing third. And the rest can fall into line after that. Someday is never going to come. Not in the way I think it will. So I have to learn to prioritize now and make it all fit in.

A day with the Lord.

Today's been an interesting day for me. Mostly spent in fellowship with the Lord. I haven't done that in some time. I woke up after having a bizarre dream that had absolutely nothing to do with anything (I think... someone I dislike had an affair with another friend's husband. Any interpretations?). I'd planned on doing something nice for the family, to make breakfast for us to eat together, which we haven't done in some time.

I did the usual, cooked, cleaned, and ate with them, and then... I just felt like I missed Him. So I caught up on a book I'd been reading, Desiring God by John Piper, started Brennan Manning's The Ragamuffin Gospel, played around in my Bible, listened to some good worship music, and just enjoyed myself.

With the exception of the time I took to read one novel (about 1 1/2 hours) and the time I took to clean up or make meals, I spent the entire day with the Lord. For some people, this is a regular thing. For me, I'm usually too busy, too stressed, and so it doesn't happen. Or it happens in a small amount and I content myself with that. But today, I gave Him the whole day. And it was wonderful.

Except He spent a lot of time working on my heart and a lot of issues. Things that will probably be coming out in later blogs. So beware...

Thursday Thirteen #58: Back to School Resolutions

Thirteen Things about Back to School Resolutions We're two weeks into school and I feel like we're still in summer slacker mode. I have basically a week and a half and then I'm back teaching. I started looking at our schedule and it looks pretty scary. M,W,F, Sat, we have soccer. M, TH, I teach. Tues is church. Last night, my intention of making a nice dinner of salmon, quinoa, and veggies turned into making a run for the border to wolf down dinner to get to curriculum night in time. So, as I sat stressing about everything we have to do, I thought, why not make some back to school resolutions? 1. Just because there is no reasonable expectation that we will eat dinner as a family most nights doesn't mean I can't make dinner and leave it warming on the stove for when the crew trickles in. 2. Having dinner for the family means I need to actually start planning dinner, rather than the mad dash to the store at 5:00. 3. Homework starts next week. So that means setting aside regular time to work on what sounds like will be ongoing projects. 4. Next week, with school starting for the little one, I get my Panera time back. Which means dedicated no-excuse writing time. 5. Okay, I admit it. I feel better when I exercise. So I will get up and exercise in the mornings. 6. Ditto for breakfast. Kiddo's lunch is an hour later this year, so I need to make sure she has breakfast foods she will eat. Plus, I'll admit to feeling better if I eat breakfast too. 7. While we're on the topic of things that make me feel better, I found the Bible study I was working on in the spring and am committed to continue working through it. 8. I'm going to spend more time reading with the littlest one. Not that it's a contest or anything, but I couldn't believe how much my friend is required to read to her preschooler for the program she's in. We're definitely not that disciplined, and she likes reading. 9. Somehow, we'll figure out how to continue our weekly library trips. The kiddos love it. 10. The kiddos get a lot of weird days off this year. I'm going to take advantage of the time off and do good things with them, like go to the zoo. 11. I'm going to make sure we all get our vitamins. As busy as we are, we need them. 12. I'm not going to stress about the little things, like the fact that the little one always leaves the house with unmatched socks. 13. Mostly, though, I'm going to give myself a break. If it doesn't all come together perfectly, that's okay.

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What are you willing to sacrifice?

So obviously God is bringing me through a time of testing and challenging my beliefs. Last night, of course, we dealt with my whole workaholic nature. Not that it's fixed, but God's got me there wrestling with it.

Tonight at church, our pastor talked about how our God is a dangerous God. When you make the choice to follow God, and you ask Him to do something in your life, the risk is that He just might make you do it. Ad it may not exactly be the easiest thing in the world to do.

The reason I share this is not to give you a sermon recap, but to tell you something that has profoundly impacted me. See, tonight was a bittersweet night. We celebrated the 11th anniversary of our church. In addition, he announced something I've known for a while, but well, I was not prepared to hear from his lips. He and his family are leaving our church to move to Mozambique and follow their mission calling.

This is a hard, but joyous thing for me. His wife, Amy, is one of my closest friends. She has meant so much to me, I honestly can't imagine my life without her nearby. And yet, I am so thrilled for her that she's getting to do it. To follow her calling and stretch herself beyond anything she's ever done.

In tonight's message, Dave challenged us to think of what it means to serve a dangerous God. I started thinking about what that looked like in my life. At first, I thought a lot about how the reality of my life is that I often try to tame God. I often say, "YES! I want to follow God's calling. Oh, but, this is what I'll do to follow it, 'kay, God?" For a minute or two, I was jealous of Amy's bravery. Of being able to give up everything familiar, everything she loved, and just go.

I wondered if I was really doing that in my life... have I really followed the road of my calling, of the dangerous God, or am I just playing it safe?

Last week, I received a disappointment in my writing journey. Not a rejection. Not a redirection, but the news that the editor I've dreamed of working with will no longer be in her current position. I was heartbroken, because she is one of my favorite people, and I respect her so much. And now we won't be able to work together.

I called my compadres and bemoaned my fate, questioning whether or not this is what God wanted for me. My writing journey has not been an easy one. Three years ago, I made a heart wrenching decision to follow God with my writing. It meant saying no to a New York agent, not submitting requested books to big name New York editors and houses, not submitting books to another editor I like and respect, and pretty much disappearing off the writing radar. Would I have made it big time? Who knows? But I made the decision to give it up because God asked me to. I stopped submitting, stopping pursuing what had been a huge dream for me for a long time. He started giving me direction, and I started listening.

So here I am, in a season where I thought God was saying yes to my writing dream, and despite a lot of really cool things, I have this speed bump. As I thought and prayed about it, God said something to me... "you've trusted me this far, will you continue to trust me?"

The only answer I could give, the answer I have been giving for three years, was yes.

Tonight, though, I had to look at it again... am I taming God? Am I playing it safe? And really, truly, are my writing dreams and the path I am taking in following them, am I doing it with the heart of God in my sight?

Truthfully, I don't have an answer. I'd like to think I'm following God. I've stopped writing for publication, changed genres, started writing again, chosen a more difficult path to publication than I needed to, and I'm still waiting. Still trusting. And still asking if I'm following Him or me. Inside I feel like a great big chicken. And I truly can't tell you anything other than what the journey's looked like so far, and the questions I still ask.

What are you willing to sacrifice? Everything? Or just what feels safe to give up?

Like I said, I don't know the answer. I'm still figuring that out for myself. I'm not sure there is an answer, except that we should keep asking, keep seeking, and keep following, even if we don't entirely know where we're headed.

Being valuable

I have a group of girlfriends, we call ourselves the bat girls. My bat girl friends are an important support group for me. We live all over the world and work hard to get together in person when we can. I met the bat girls at a time in my life when I was feeling a little lost. But they took me in and became my friends and showed me a lot about Christ's love. Not one of us are perfect. Together, though, we just sort of fit. Each one brings a different piece of the body together and as a whole, well, we are the body.

Today, one of the bat girls sent out a bat-beacon because she's depressed over a lot of things. I sat there, praying for her, telling her what I could to encourage her, letting her know that she is so precious to the King. As I wrote, God started talking to me, asking me, "what makes you so different from her?"

Huh?

For those of you who don't know this about me, I'm a workaholic. I have so many things going on and projects that keep popping up. I recently sent out a prayer request because I was asked to take on another project that frankly, I don't want to do. And I honestly can't figure out a way to say no. I've had so many wonderful folks say, "just say no."

But they don't get it.

When people need me to do things, it makes me valuable. When they say, "hey, can you help with this," I always say yes. I never knew why, I just figured that I'm the helpful sort of girl who likes to lend a hand. And I am. But I'm also a scared little girl who has this messed up version of identity that says if I don't have enough notches on my scorecard of stuff I've done, I'm not valuable.

I've always been the overachiever. Looking back, I know it was because people in my life only treated me with value if I was accomplishing something good. And with each accomplishment, it set the bar higher. I got out of that dangerous cycle, or so I thought.

Then here I am, trying to make this decision, and I'm praying for my bat girl friend because my heart is just broken that she can't see what a beautiful, amazing person she is... and God smacked me one. I do not have to do all the stuff I'm doing to be valuable. I do not have to say yes to this project. I do not have to have a clean house, be the perfect friend, be the perfect mom, win any awards, get the contracts, say the right things, etc.

Through my bat girl friend's struggle, God showed me how I am still using a messed up standard for my life. I can tell everyone around me that God loves them just as they are, and I fully believe that with all my heart. But boy, I really messed up in applying that to my life.

Lord, thank you so much for putting people like the bat girls in my life. Thank you for allowing me to have contact with other parts of my body that are constantly revealing to me where I still need to have my vision adjusted. And thank you for giving me friends who are willing to be transparent in their lives so you can reveal places in mine that need work.

And for those of you who struggle with this, please know you are not alone. And know that God really does love you, just as you are. You are valuable. And so am I.

Thursday Thirteen #57: Work at home mom edition

Thirteen Things about being a work at home mom As many of you know, I have a few jobs I do from home. And, as it seems, continually counting. I was going to rant about this the other day when yet another person suggested that I have absolutely nothing better to do with my time. And then I thought it'd make a perfect Thursday Thirteen. 1. As mentioned above, people assume I have nothing better to do with my time than work on what they need me to do: NOW. Only problem is that just like in their jobs, I have deadlines, too. So when I take a couple hours to do what you need me to do, that means I stay up a couple hours later at night to finish my work. 2. People who work in an office can't do laundry while working. This might be a no-brainer, except for a work at home mom, she not only can do laundry while working, but she has to balance actually getting work done with the expectation that she should do laundry while working. (Huh. When was that on the job interview questionnaire?) 3. People who work in offices don't have to listen to, "Mom! I'm bored," all day while working. 4. The best business related phone call I had was when my boss called and my daughter informed her that I was in the bathroom, and exactly what I was doing in the bathroom. 5. Without OSHA breathing down my neck, breaks happen when they happen. Roughly translated, this means never. 6. It is amazing how many distractions there are: laundry, dishes, fixing dinner, screaming kids, the dog, etc. Try taking your household to work for a day and see how well it lasts. 7. Lest I sound too much like I'm complaining, my work day starts when I want it to. Generally, this means rolling out of bed when I wake up and firing up my computer while still in my jammies. Unless, of course, I have a meeting and have to be up at a certain time. 8. Conference calls aren't nearly as boring at 75 mph on the freeway. 9. So long as I meet my deadlines and produce quality work, no one's breathing down my neck on a daily basis. 10. It's hard to get out of "work mode" when work is always around me. 11. For a change of pace, I get to head to "my other office" and take the laptop with me to have tea at Panera. 12. Because my jobs are a lot of fun, sometimes people question whether or not I really am working. 13. And of course, there's that dreaded question... "What DID you do all day?" Next person to ask me that one gets it. Don't make me show you what "it" is.

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Finding a writing groove

You all may recall that for the past several months, I've been jumping through the agent hoop, working on round after round of revisions. Yay me. At RWA, I went to a spotlight and found out that they do not want books like #2 in my proposal. Oops. That left me spending the past couple weeks scrambling to change my proposal, taking out the bad book and inserting another book.

The problem: #2 was a complete, new book is in process.

So I figured, just in case editor sees new book idea and wants that as #1 book, I figured I ought to get a little more done on it. Which is what I did over the weekend. YAY me.

It took a while to get back into my groove. I've been editing so long, I almost forgot how to write. I mean, I can still put a sentence together with the best of them. I just couldn't let go and let the words flow, crap or not. I kept hearing Anne Lamott in the back of my head telling me it's okay to write a crappy first draft. And Nora Roberts telling me I can't edit a blank page.

So I wrote.

I wrote crap. I deleted a lot of it. I fought with my internal editor, and I am emerging victorious. I have a workaholic hero who wasn't supposed to be a workaholic, except I'm finding that in that structured man with a plan there is a compassionate heart I didn't realize existed when I originally planned this book. I didn't realize how deeply committed he is to justice and mercy, the driving values behind his workaholicism. Maybe those things don't seem to fit together, but for some reason, with this hero, it makes him who he is.

And I realized, that even if it started out looking like a great big pile o' poo, it's coming together to create something even more spectacular than I could have ever dreamed. Which made me remember why I love writing so much.

I should be getting to bed now, but after having spent a few hours doing the work that pays the bills (and I am not knocking it at all, because I do enjoy it), I need to do the work that makes my soul sing. Because that, my friends, is what the writing groove is all about.

Fouled up Friday

Yesterday, I had every intention of posting a Thursday Thirteen. I had great plans for the topic, which you'll see next week. Hopefully.

However, yesterday, I threw a major temper tantrum. I have been trying to get my family to clean the house ever since I returned from RWA to a monstrous mess. Have they listened? No. So, the night before, on my way out to a meeting, I told them... get it cleaned up or I'm boxing it all away. They didn't listen.

So I spent all day yesterday, taking all the stuff they had on the floor and boxing it up. It took eleven boxes. But I did it. I sat down, thought I'd relax for a while, and then realized I hadn't done any work for my jobs at all. YIKES! So I got busy with that, all the while thinking it would be a great Thursday Thirteen topic, mentally composing as I did everything else.

Then I remembered The Deadline. For some reason, probably a lack of sanity on my part, I agreed to write a textbook for one of the tax classes. Actually, it is a good thing, after all, who can argue with more money? But... the first couple of chapters are due Monday and I have to have them reviewed by one of my peers to double check my interpretation of tax law before I can turn it in. Since it was Thursday night, I figured I'd better get cracking. (In all fairness, it wasn't entirely procrastination. We'd had the meetings for the information on Tuesday and Wednesday, so really Thurs was the earliest I could do it)

So last night, I wrote a few chapters, sent them off, thought about getting ready to blog, and then hubby messed it up. He's had a weird work week and has been working lots of crazy hours. The upshot is that it'll be a lot of moohlah, the downside is that he's going to end up having worked about 70 or so hours this week. Anyway, he had to do a late night thing, so as I was working, he got up to go to work. And I don't know, something about that signaled that it was time for me to go to bed. So I did.

Which brings me to my fouled up Friday. If I'm in our bed, I don't sleep well if he's not in it. I can sleep fine if I'm gone somewhere else. But when he's gone... Ugh. So this morning, I open my sandy little eyes to a dark room and think, "great. I'm up early again. Can't believe I got absolutely no sleep last night." Then I looked at the clock. Um...

Kiddo was supposed to be at school an hour ago!

Fortunately, she's an early bird, self starter, and I can completely count on her to be out the door and on her way to school on time. So she was long gone. I'm a bit worried though, that her hair is not brushed. I hate that!

So here we are, a rainy, dark, cold Friday, and I'm still in my jammies. I need to go out and deposit hubby's paycheck so I can pay some bills. Maybe hit the store. I planned on grilling steaks for dinner tonight and made hubby fix the grill last night so I could do it, but with all this yucky weather, steak sounds gross.

But maybe I'll feel better after a couple cups of tea... anyone want to join me?

Thoughts on Celebrity and Character

I mentioned in my last post the whole to-do over Lance Armstrong. As I observed the "Lance mania," I thought a lot about celebrity and what it means. Believe it or not, I'm not a big celebrity person. I don't understand why, just because a celebrity says something, we should all go out and do it.

I am, however, a big character person. When I mention celebrities I like, it's typically because they have some character trait I admire. After this weekend, I am a Lance Armstrong fan. Why?

It's clear he loves riding. He also seems like a pretty decent guy. The interviews with him were all really good in terms of how he spoke of others, and when he spoke at the awards ceremony, I couldn't help but be impressed by a guy who didn't just compete, but worked to get others to work harder and better too.

At one point, he rode by us with the guy who ended up winning, Dave Wiens, and I don't know what they were saying, but clearly, they were having fun. You'd think they were just two guys out on a bike ride, enjoying the day. When Dave won, Lance had no sour grapes, but open admiration for a worthy competitor.

Lance Armstrong is just a regular guy who happens to have made a name for himself. I don't think he's perfect, for one, he's a man, but he's also human. And yet, there are traits about him that I respect and admire enough that you can bet the next time he rides, I'll be on the sidelines, cheering for him.

It made me think about other celebrities I respect and admire, and why. As many of you know, I adore Todd Agnew. His music is amazing, but more than that, he's got an incredible heart for God. I've met him a few times, and he has always been a humble, caring person. Again, he's not perfect. But because I see the person behind the music, he is an artist I will always support.

That said, there are a couple of artists whose music I will no longer support because of how they treat others. I realize it must be hard to have everyone vying for your attention, but the rudeness I've seen and the way they have treated people I care about makes me wonder how much of the message they really live. Without character, their message means nothing to me.

And then there's the great Nora Roberts. I like her. Haven't read one of her books in years, and am completely unwilling to stand in one of the fan-crazed lines to chat with her, but you know what? I have a lot of respect for her and if I didn't have a ton of other books to read, I'd read her again. Not because she's sold tons of books, although let's face it, that's pretty cool. But for me, the reason I like her is that I have had several opportunities to encounter her and she has always impressed me with what a decent human being she was. For example, at the last RWA conference, we were at the Harlequin party, and someone had spilled their drink. Nora told me to be careful of the mess and guided me away, not knowing me, not caring that she was the great Nora. We were just two folks trying to maneuver a dance floor.

Contrast that with another author, just starting to get a lot of bestseller attention. I used to adore her books. Haven't read one in years. Why? Character, or lack thereof. She's been rude, arrogant, and downright nasty to me a number of times. She's probably one of the most talented authors I've met, and because she is such a nasty person, I will never read one of her books again.

Note... in all the bad examples, I'm not mentioning names. I'm doing that for a reason. I don't want people to make decisions about others just because I have an issue with them. I hope that they will take the time to judge for themselves.

The thing about celebrities is that anyone can be one. Slap a talent label on a person and suddenly they're hot stuff. I wish, though, that we had another category for celebrity. Folks with good character that we can look up to and say, "hey, that's something to admire."

I don't know if or when I'll ever hit the big time as an author. But my hope and prayer is that I learn from the examples set before me. I want to take the time to treat others as human beings and give them the respect that everyone deserves. I pray that I will not be rude or look down on others because they have not reached the same level of success. I'm not perfect, either. And I'm pretty sure I'll continue to make my share of mistakes. But when people say they admire or respect me, I really hope it's because they see the good qualities in my character.

The big weekend

As is our family tradition every August, we head up to Leadville, CO to crew for my BIL as he races the Leadville Trail 100. It is a 100 mile mountain bike race through some pretty scary terrain. Let's be clear: this race is not for wimps. You have twelve hours to do the ride. Ricky's done this every year since they started, so this was his 1500 mile finish. He did great!

It was his second best time of 8 hours and 24 minutes. He kept telling us, "hurry to the next aid station! I'll be there fast!" And he was. We were so proud of how well he did, and he looked great.

The big news was that Lance Armstrong was there. It was sort of a surreal thing, because so many folks there had Lance fever. I caught him racing past a couple of times, and only managed to catch the back of his shirt. Yes, I admit, had to snap a few shots. After all, how many times am I going to get to see Lance Armstrong race?

I always have mixed feelings about going up there. It is a lot of fun. It's great family time. And I think it's the one thing we can all do together and work as a team, so it means a lot. But let's be very clear here: I am not a morning person. This business of having to be at the start of the race at 6:30 a.m. is a problem for me. Fortunately, the family is used to this after ten years, so they let me sit in the car and be grumpy until I can function. That Man is very good about making sure no one speaks to me until I am ready to be spoken to. But seriously, if we could just skip that part of family togetherness, I would be so happy.

And then, there was the lack of promised Internet access. Our hotel boasted free wireless access. Which, in theory, is true. In practical application, they use the same router we do at home, and so, our room was too far away to pick up a signal. Downtown Leadville also boasts free wireless access. In theory, perhaps. In practicality, I never did find a place where I could get a signal. It makes me almost wish I had a crackberry. Almost. I can go without Internet and be happy. I just need to know ahead of time.

Also, for the record, other than trying to get a wireless signal and the conference call I needed the notes for (yes, it is possible to work driving through the mountains), I did not open my laptop at all. So there.

I did, however, read two books. One was while we were waiting on the back side of Turquoise Lake for Ricky to come through. Kiddos were sleeping in the car, it was raining, I thought, why not? Good book. Susan May Warren's Get Cozy, Josey. We'll not talk about the fact that it's the last in the series. Really, Susie? Can ya change your mind on that one? And then, I read another book last night. I actually don't remember that one. Hmmm... doesn't bode well for that book, eh? It was a confusing book, so it's probably okay I don't remember.

So back to this sleep thing... the other thing I don't understand is how people can go to bed early unless they're sick. I TRIED. Last night, after being up since five freaking thirty, you'd think I could go to bed at eight. Nope. I read a book. Still tossed and turned FOREVER. Did the same thing Friday night, although I wasn't as tired, since I got up at a respectable 8:30 a.m. Then again, I never could go to bed early. Even as a kid, I'd stay up really late reading because I couldn't sleep.

Anyway, that was my big weekend. Full of excitement, lack of sleep, and did I mention we had our little terrorists with us? Nah, they weren't that bad. They had their moments, but for the most part, they were pretty good. Nothing got blown up, no one got hurt, and as far as I can tell, we didn't send anyone screaming for mercy. Good times, I tell you, good times.

Thursday Thirteen #56: Back to School Edition

Thirteen Things about Back to School School starts Tuesday... I can't believe it! 1. My summer plan of lots of activities sort of worked. We didn't go crazy, but we also didn't do everything I'd hoped. 2. I am most eager to get my Panera time back, but that won't happen until Sept, because the littlest one does not go back to school until then. 3. King Soopers makes school supply shopping sooo easy. You go to the one nearest your school, and they have premade packages of everything for each grade. Buy one, and you're done. YES! 4. I'm now wondering how we'll fit all the stuff we still have left to do in the next couple of days, especially considering we'll be at my BIL's bike race this weekend. 5. School fees are ridiculous. The high schooler's fees were in excess of $500. No, she's not in any special activities or sports. That's just what the regular fees are. The second grader's fees were $40, up from last year. Whoever said public education was free is a big fat liar. 6. I'm looking forward to having more structured days. 7. The dog is looking forward to not being chased around the house all day. 8. I just realized that I need to start getting them back on a school bedtime schedule. Let the games begin! 9. This means I also start teaching taxes again in less than a month. I'm not sure I'm ready to go back. I've been really enjoying my time off. :) 10. My kiddos are really looking forward to seeing their friends again. I still haven't broken it to my daughter that she will not have the same kids in her class this year. 11. I might actually get to clean my house and have it stay clean for a couple of hours. 12. I'll be back on wardrobe patrol. It's amazing what they can and can't wear to school. 13. And let's not forget that their little minds will be filled with all sorts of information.

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Now here's something beautiful...

Check out this post on Tonya's blog.

Amazing.

Can you believe they're mine?

I know, it's still ugly

My blog, that is.

The trouble with going away for a week is That Man and The Children take over. My house gets thrown into chaos and I'm left wondering things like, "what IS that thing in my sink?" and "what have they done to my bathroom?" and still worse, "exactly what am I smelling?" For some reason, That Man (though some have suggested it's true of all men) is completely incapable of multitasking. My choice is either keep my children alive or keep the house in order. I returned to living children, and I'm not entirely sure I didn't get the short end of the stick.

Actually, I'm letting them have their fun. School starts in less than a week, and the last thing I want is to have them cooped up and working their tails off on house stuff. So I'm trying to accept it. Trying to ignore the sticky ick on my kitchen floor. Trying to focus on all the other tasks I need to accomplish.

Did I mention school starts next week?

Three more weeks, and Terrorist is back in preschool. And then... drumroll please...

I get my Panera time back!!!

Sanity will return to the House of Dream.

And then, my friends, I can do fun things like pretty-fy my blog, add more cool stuff to my website, and maybe, just maybe finally get back to finding time for a decent nap!!

Right-O!

So the blog design looks a little different. What can I say? I'm just a rebel... or something like that. I've been a bit bored with my blog design these days. And I realized I never upgraded to the new thing Blogger is doing, so I thought maybe I should do that. hahahaha Did that, and lost my old template. Which I think is a sign that I finally need to toss out the stuff I don't like and bring in something a little more... me.

Technically, I'm supposed to be working on my website, but I'm getting bored with that. I've been working on it all night. I've been searching for new templates for it for a while now and finally found one I like. What do you think?

Actually, I need to get my proposal re-written, because at RWA, the Steeple Hill Spotlight had some great info. Only problem... book #2 in my series is on their "we don't want to see" list. Ugh. No matter, there's two other books in the series, so I'm just swapping it out for the one I didn't use in my proposal. The blurb is written, but I need to run it by the CPs.

And yes, I had fun on my trip. Meant to blog, ran out of time. Translate that to... I was having way too much fun to do much more than post on Twitter and FB.

Right-O.

I'm getting back to work now. Really.

Relationships

So I obviously just needed to get out of Dodge to improve my mood. I got on the plane, and I just felt so... peaceful.

For the flight, I had nothing to do. I'd planned on doing some things on my laptop, but oddly, my battery was dead. I didn't bring a book, since I'm on my way to book heaven and will need every inch of space to bring books home. So I did the only thing I could do in the time and space allotted, I studied my Bible.

God and I had really good time together. I have to admit that lately, I haven't felt like much of a Christian. I've been wondering if I really am one with all the junk in my life right now. Today, though, as I spent the two hour plane ride chatting with God, I realized that nope, I'm just fine as a Christian. Because today, well, I realized that's what a relationship looks like.

Tonight, I'm staying at my friend Camy's. Our friendship reminds me a lot of my relationship with God. We can go a while without talking, and when we do talk, things pick up just as though there'd been no space between us. And sometimes, it's like we just can't get enough of each other. Our cell phone bills reflect more minutes than we can care to count. Even though we aren't always physically close, there's a bond of friendship that binds us.

I realized today that's a lot like my relationship with God. The more time we're together, the better we do. But even when I get too busy or stressed, so I shut down, He's still there. And when we get back together, we're still fine. Today was one of those days when we just couldn't get enough of each other.

I just really enjoyed Him. I spent so much time saying, "thank you God," that I can't help but sit here with a permasmile, even though I'm exhausted from getting up way too early and will probably be up way earlier than I care to think about tomorrow. It'll be worth it though. These beautiful memories will sustain me on the days where I wonder, "do I have any friends," or ask, "Lord, are you there?" I can look back on it all and recount just how beautiful these relationships are.

I'm not always a good friend. I don't often call, don't often write, and intend to do things more than I actually do. God doesn't care about all that. Sure, He'd like you to do it a little more often, but mostly, He's just glad to see you. Tomorrow, I'm going to see some folks that I don't often call, don't often write, but they love me anyway. And I them. I think that's the sign of a true friendship.

I imagine that some of you reading this are thinking of a relationship, whether it be with God or a person, that you haven't talked to in a while. You haven't called. You haven't written. You meant to. Either way, today is the perfect day to take that small step and reach out. They're waiting for you.

The business of answering prayers

Yesterday, I went to Heaven Fest. It was amazing.

I should point out that I basically went because a couple of bands that had some folks I know and love playing for them and I wanted to give them hugs. Yep. That's why I went. Had a whole number of circumstances that almost prevented me from going, but it all worked out.

Backing up... a couple days before, I was whining at God. I felt like none of my prayers were being answered, and I had to wonder what was going on. I prayed for a lot of silly little things relating to Heaven Fest. Some not so silly. But yesterday, it was like the floodgates opened up and God said, "See? I do listen to you. So chill out already."

First major prayer: Let me get there before Rush of Fools came on. They were one of the bands I really wanted to see. God said okey dokey. Timing was perfect.

Number two: I got there and was worried about our budget being tight because I'm getting ready to go on a trip and some money I was expecting hasn't come yet and would have to pull it out of savings to repay later. Not a big deal, but just irritating. I asked one of the volunteers where to buy tickets, and as I was walking to the ticket booth, a random lady says to me, "I have a ticket you can have. It was supposed to be for my friend, but she couldn't come." I took the ticket and she disappeared before I could give her anything for it. So, I ended up going for free.

Number three: I wanted to see and hug the Rush guys. Check.

Number four: I wanted to see Jonathan play with Skillet (and his schedule didn't say he was, but a friend told me he'd be there) and hug him. Got to see him play, but didn't see him to hug. Oh well. I'll see him next weekend with Todd and crew.

Number five: I felt really conspicuous being alone (hubby was at home working on the shed) and surrounded by crazed teenagers. I hate crowds, and it's worse if I have no one to talk to. There were 17,000 people and no one I knew was going. I'm not one of those people who becomes instant friends with strangers, so I sort of resigned myself to being alone. I walked over to an area where I thought I might see Jonathan, and ran into my old friend, Katrina. What a blessing! We did a Bible study years ago and are intermittently in touch. I also do her taxes. I spent the rest of the time with her and her family, who are such blessings to me. God really came through on that one, don't you think?


Number six: When I finally felt like eating, most of the food places sold out. I stood in a line for 1/2 hour only to get almost to the front and be told they were out of food. All the other lines were really long and also almost out of food. I ended up with an overcooked piece of cardboard cheese pizza, but I got to eat.

Number seven: I had to go to the bathroom really really bad. The portapotties had huge lines. I decided to take my chance on some on the other side of the festival, and hoped that I'd be able to get one in time. They were completely empty and I was just fine. Even though I hate portapotties.

Number eight: We all know I obsess over little, idiotic things. I forgot my water bottle. They fill them for free, but you needed to have something to fill or you had to drink from a dinky paper cup. So brilliant me decided I'd find a place to BUY a bottle of water and then I could refill it. Um, no. No one sold water. Finally, I said, okay, I just need something I can fill with water. Bought a bottle of Gatorade, drank it, and then I had a bottle to refill. I know, that all sounds lame, but in my mind, I made a HUGE deal of it, and God was like, "chill. I've so got you covered."

Number nine: During the main event, they did this thing where you were supposed to pray with the folks around you. I know, you all think I'm such an extrovert. I stood there, next to Katrina and her daughter, and was like, "okay, God, you know this is waaaay beyond my comfort zone. And I know it's beyond Katrina's, so can you help me out here?" Well, this kid, who couldn't have been more than 14 or 15, came up to us and asked if he could pray with us. He totally broke the ice and within seconds, we were all praying together.

Number ten: Remember, I came to see two bands? Well, after them, Jeremy Camp was playing. Not that there's anything wrong with Jeremy Camp, but frankly, if you've heard one of his songs, you've heard them all. Plus, I was just not in the mood to listen to a bunch of hormonal teenagers go on and on about how cute he is. He's married, girls. You know that. What you're thinking is called adultery.

But I digress. The main event thing sounded kind of cool, I mean, who can argue with worship and prayer? But I really didn't feel like sitting through to the very end and then have to fight with 17,000 people to get out of the parking lot and then drive a couple of miles down a dirt road with all the dust that was already making my allergies go nuts. Yeah. I had a bad attitude.

However, I missed the teenage Jeremy Camp frenzy because I was in the food line, and by the time the main event rolled around, I was having so much fun catching up with Katrina's daughters, I thought it might be nice to hang out in worship with them, since we haven't done that together in forever.

The main event was completely awesome. God really spoke to my heart and made me realize that even though I'm going through a grumpy phase, He's still listening. He still cares. There's still a lot of things I'm waiting on. Most of which have a lot more to do with relying on me and wanting my agenda pushed forward than anything remotely resembling what it means to worship and trust Him. Ooops.

God is totally in the business of answering prayers. From the littlest ones to the big ones, where I desperately need Him to show up. He's there. Sometimes it means getting over myself.

And even though I was fully prepared to face the parking lot mess after such a great time of worship, God even met me there and I didn't get caught in a lick of traffic.

Mamma Mia!

My girlfriends and I went to see it last night, and I'm having a hard time deciding if I like it or not. Before you read further, you need to know that there's lots of spoilers.

The good: I loved the friendship storyline of both sets of women. I hope that twenty years from now, I've got some friends like that who know everything about me, love me, and can lighten my load with the laughter we've shared for a lifetime.

The bad: We know I love romance. It was sweet that mom got her man. Not so sweet that the daughter decided to run off with the guy and not get married. With each new movie, I'm getting more frustrated with the lack of respect for marriage. I'm tired of people shacking up. Why do we keep glorifying behavior that utterly lacks glory? That gripe aside, both romances lacked solid motivation. I didn't find myself terribly emotionally invested in either, except that I love romance and demand to see it go through a satisfying process.

The ugly: Most of the singing was atrocious at best. I can't believe the guys from ABBA were in charge of this project and were okay with the slaughtering of their music. As I told my friend Diane (who groaned with me through the movie), my life would have been complete without ever hearing Pierce Brosnan sing. Whatever happened to dubbing over the actors' voices with people who can sing?

Did I like the movie? I dunno. Will I see it again? Not sure. However, it does make me want to see the stage production. I think it would be much better on stage.

Thursday Thirteen #55: My least favorite things

Thirteen Things that are my Least Favorite I'm stealing this idea from my friend Kay, who did this last week. She wasn't going to get gross, but I am. 1. Least favorite color - white. It's too boring. 2. Least favorite smell - Vomit. 3. Least favorite sound - My kids fighting. 4. Least favorite movie (that I've seen) - The slums of Beverly Hills. I need to do something happy now to get that horrible thought out of my mind. 5. Least favorite TV show (that I've seen)- MASH. 6. Least favorite indoor chore - Cleaning Toilets. 7. Least favorite outdoor chore - Picking up dog poo. 8. Least favorite song - Anything Jonas brothers. 9. Least favorite food - Liver 10. Least favorite drink - Beer 11. Least favorite tactile feeling - water on my face 12. Least favorite emotion - Irritable 13. Least favorite place - I respectfully decline to answer that question. Instead, I'll tell you that my least favorite grammatical error is when people use an apostrophe s to make a plural. It's infuriating to see them in print.

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Meme Time!

Since all my buds are doing this... if you haven't done it, you should!

1. What is your occupation? *insert hysterical laughter* writer, hostess with the mostess, curator, tax pro, tax instructor, mommy, wife, sex goddess.
2. What color are your socks right now? Not wearing any
3. What are you listening to right now? Deadliest catch.
4. What was the last thing that you ate? chicken and shrimp carbonara from olive garden.
5. Can you drive a stick shift? Yes
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Black, because it's the fastest to turn into a nub and I feel like a nub right now.
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? That Man.
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Well no one sent it to me, but I love all the gals I copied it from.
9. Favorite drink? Tea.
10. What is your favorite sport to watch? Must I?
11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Never.
12. Pets? A dog and I suppose I should count my daughter's fish that I have absolutely nothing to do with.
13. Favorite food? seafood
14. Last movie you watched? August Rush (GREAT movie!)
15. Favorite Day of the year? The day we change back our clocks to get an extra hour in the day.
16. What do you do to vent anger? Kill people. Fictionally speaking, of course.
17. What was your favorite toy as a child? My doll, Bethany. I still have her, except my kiddos decapitated her. I need to get her fixed.
18. What is your favorite season? Spring.
19. Hugs or kisses? Hugs
20. Cherry or blueberry? Cherry
21. Do you want your friends to email you back? Of course!
22. What are you reading? Nothing at the moment. Trying to decide what's next.
23. What is on the floor of your closet? Shoes. Boxes of hangers.
24. Favorite smells? The air after the rain.
25. Who inspires you? Depends on my mood.
26. What are you afraid of? Just about everything.
27. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? Cheese
28. Favorite car? One that runs well, doesn't use a lot of gas, and isn't full of kid junk.
29. Favorite cat breed? The hairless ones. I bet they won't make me sneeze.
30. Number of keys on your key ring? 8
31. How many years at your current job? which one? Ranges from 5 years to 2 months.
32. Favorite day of the week? Wednesday.
33. How many states have you lived in? 3
34. Do you think you're funny? Yes, but no one else does.
35. New Year's resolution? I don't remember
36. Favorite vacation? Going into the mountains.
37. Dream Vacation? World tour with enough time to see everything I want.

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.......

The sleepy girl in the corner? That'd be me.

Today, I had a wonderful retreat at the Broadmoor with my Words for the Journey friends. You can see a slideshow of pics here.

We had a faboo time. And yes, I got some work done. Sorta. The plan was to finish edits on book #2, and the truth is, I'm stuck stuck stuck. Believe it or not, I'm short on word count, and I can't think of anything to add. I got a little more done, so I guess I'll send it out to crit and be done with the thing. Which means I can finish writing #3 in good conscience now, right?

The trouble is, to get kiddo to daycare to meet Kay and Robbie to drive down there to be on time, I had to get up at 6 a.m. For those of you unfamiliar with my morning routine, allow me to explain a little quirk of my personality.

I'm generally not even awake until about 9, although during the school year, I move it down to 8, since kiddo has to be at school at 9. Because I'm not a morning person, I need at least an hour to wake up and be human, which translates to: Don't speak to me before 10. That Man, to his credit, tiptoed around me all morning and did not say a word. Which is why he's still alive.

The point of this is... to a sweet gal like me, getting up at 6 a.m. is an absolutely barbaric practice. How do you early birds live with yourselves? More to the point, how do others survive around you with their heads intact?

Some of you are asking... why don't you go to bed now, Miss Grumpy Pants? I'll tell you why. I have a hard time falling asleep before midnight. So the universe is going to have to put up with me being grumpy and tired for another two hours.

I called my bro, aka my web guru, since he was nagging me about working on my website. Huh. Isn't that what I'm not paying him for? We worked through a couple of issues I was having and I finally got the thing he wanted me to do fixed. Rocket scientists make it sound soooo easy. It's not.

But I'm plugging away. And maybe tomorrow, I'll find something I'm satisfied with. Fortunately, boss-man is busy all day, so I can play some more and maybe even get a little writing time in.

Wow. I really do sound grumpy. May you all have pleasant dreams and I'll talk to you soon.

Car shows and the Coolness Factor.

Tonight I needed a little "me time" and took a drive to one of my favorite mountain places. On the way, I stopped off at Sonic for a cherry limeade. YUM! I don't know what the Sonics elsewhere do, but ours always has these car show things. Tonight's was a bit... strange.

I pull into Sonic to find... a row of Mazdas. Not the fancy sports car ones (do they even make sports cars?), but these dinky little putt-putt things. And I'm telling you, these guys had the hoods proudly propped open like they were some sort of souped up engine thingamajig. I know, I'm so technical. I'm a GIRL. And I'm not Danica Patrick, so just stop it already.

The next row of cars, proudly on display by their owners, was a bunch of volkswagon jettas and passats. Um... okay. Then they had rows of beamers, mustangs (new ones only), and Hyundais. Yes. Hyundais. I may know nothing about cars, but I know enough to know they do not pass the coolness factor.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not mocking these guys and their pride in their automobiles. Okay, maybe I am a little, since they were all nerdmobiles with the exception of the mustangs and maybe the BMWs. It's pretty cool that these guys were obviously extremely proud of their cars. I guess it's no longer cool to dig one out of the junkyard, put some hard work and muscle into it, and show it off. Nope. You just drive it off the dealer's lot, and there ya go: instant coolness. Or something like that. And yes, a couple of them still had the dealer tags, so you know that's exactly what happened.

Instant coolness. Huh. I wonder if they have minivan conventions like that? Sure, my paint is um, well, lacking in luster these days, but hey, if they had a contest like, "what's the grossest thing under the seat," I'm sure I'd win, hands-down. The last time I vacuumed out the back, it was so gross I had to sweet talk That Man into doing it for. I still don't know what those kids spilled in there.

I guess it all boils down to the fact that we all think we need something to make us feel cool. Society's so good at putting labels on us that sometimes I wonder if we end up going to an awful lot of trouble making up contests for ourselves so we have a "win" we can boast about. But I have to wonder... are we clinging to something that will mean something in the end?

I've been a little depressed lately because I've been hoping to have a particular label, a certain "coolness" item, and it looks like yet again, I'm going to be denied. A couple of my close friends have been with me on this portion of the journey, and I've been whining to them about it. And they pat me on the head, say it's okay, someday... and I say, yeah I know. But you know I don't.

Then God, in His infinite ability to "get" me, smacked me on the head and said, "So what do you want? To glorify me? Or to get your little "I'm so cool" sticker?" Um, obviously a trick question. Or not. But I'm slow sometimes.

Last night, I spent just over an hour on the phone with one of those friends, and I finally admitted to the truth. The truth is, the work God is doing in me will happen. Maybe not on my timetable. Maybe not in the way I'd like it to. But it WILL happen.

Tonight, when I saw the guys in the geek mobiles, I thought about that need for recognition. How, for a few whiny moments, I lost sight of the fact that I was supposed to be doing this for God. And it makes me wonder, how many other things are in my life that end up being my geek mobile at the car show?

Thursday Thirteen #54: Insomnia Edition

Thirteen Things about Insomnia So, as you can tell by the time stamp on the post, I can't sleep. Ugh. So, here's a little about my insomnia. 1. It's a never ending pattern for me. I started Sunday night, stayed up way too late, slept in too late Monday, stayed up too late... thought I kicked it Tuesday by getting up normal, having a normal day, going to bed at a normal time. Slept late today (I honestly couldn't get up, I was so tired) and now up late again tonight. UGH. 2. I think tonight's because I've been caffeine free for a month now, and made the mistake of having a Dr. Pepper at 7... I cannot have caffeine after 4 and have a good night's sleep. 3. It's also because my friend Cheryl has a book due and she needed me to read it before turning it in to her editor. The darn thing was so good, I couldn't put it down. It's unedited, and to be honest, I didn't find a whole lot wrong with it. :) You all are reading Cheryl Wyatt, aren't you? 4. Believe it or not, I'm actually not stressed about anything. Except maybe how messy my house is. 5. The whole milk thing doesn't work for me. I hate milk. 6. Ditto on all the supposed herbal things. They make me gag. 7. On this top ten list, I do most of them. Obviously, I violated the caffeine rule, and I didn't know about the no puzzle-solving or work rule. Other than that, I do all that stuff. 8. I'm allergic to most sleeping pills. 9. Reading sometimes helps me fall asleep, but I have to finish the book before going to sleep, and if it was an exciting book, I'll still lay awake thinking about it. 10. After reading Cheryl's manuscript, I feel so invigorated with creative juices that I really want to write instead of going to sleep. 11. That Man is due to get up at any time now to go to a job that needs him there super early today. 12. I'm also hungry, but I know that if I eat, I really won't be able to sleep, so now I'm torn between two bad decisions. Ugh. 13. To tell the truth, I'm not all that bothered about not being able to sleep right now. I'm sitting here, listening to big band music, drinking some water, and enjoying a nice evening. I just know that tomorrow, when the children start with that whole, "Mooooommmmmmmyyyyy" thing, I'm going to be really upset. So what about you? How do you sleep?

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Work, work, work...

Yep, still working on the website. Mostly, it's just figuring out controls and how to hook up stuff. And learning the difference between a section, category, and article. I, apparently, do it all out of order. *sigh*

On a productive front, I FINALLY finished the revisions on this silly book. I thought I was done, and then I realized, oops, I'm 5K words short because I calculated by the old method, not the current method. So I've been editing, adding, blah blah blah, and then I was 2K over. *sigh* I'm now at a place where I can finally say it's just about perfect and I'm ready.

The funny thing I'm learning with all this work is that the work is never finished. And it's never perfect. A hard lesson for a perfectionist to learn. Fortunately, I'm trying to get rid of a little of that perfectionism, so maybe one of these days, we can call me fixed.

My Website!!!

As many of you know, I've had a website for a while. To be honest, I've been hating on it... totally DIY, totally unprofessional, and it's just icky. My neighbor, aka my adopted brother, is a computer geek. The company he worked for just lost its funding, so he's on a little unpaid vacay right now. So.... lil' sis is taking advantage...

However, I have very few ideas as to what I want. Well, that's not true. While this is my site, it's really YOUR site. Which means I want what you want. So tell me... what do you want?

Here's the site in its infancy... www.danicafavorite.com. Leave a comment here or one via the site and let me know what you think, what you want, etc. I will probably be changing the header graphic, but I don't have any good ideas. I think I'll probably be changing my blog to match, but that's down the road.

Why do I love him... let me count the ways...

Yesterday, I went shopping. I bought new clothes. Now, most husbands have a bit of a freakout moment when their wives say, "Honey, I went shopping and got a couple of outfits." Mine... he says, "that's great, honey," and proceeds to admire my purchases. Not just the usual guy thing of, "uh huh," but he genuinely looks at them and gives me his opinion. In the case of this shopping trip, I majorly scored.

I finally caved to the fact that I don't have a lot of clothes that fit. I hate shopping, so since I was in the mood, I figured I might as well get it over with. After all, I'll be at a conference in a couple of weeks and they might not like it if I walked around in sweats. So I shopped.

That Man understands that I seldom buy anything new for myself. I generally buy stuff for everyone but me. He gets pretty excited when I buy stuff for myself. He's even more excited because I actually bought colorful things. And... who knew? He thinks I look sexy in skirts. I bought a couple of them. :)

If that wasn't enough to get me in a good mood, today, he did something spectacular. Today, finally, after having to stare at the abomination since we moved in, he finally moved it. I tried taking a picture, but the camera batteries were dead.

Close your eyes and imagine... a big ugly roof sitting in the middle of my backyard. It's our shed roof and it's taken him nearly a year to get it moved. But it's finally in place. Now he can finish the shed, put all of his ugly man junk in it, and I get my yard back. Except... there's now an ugly brown spot where the grass died from having the shed there. Oh well, I'll plant more.

I'm so happy! So tell me... what are the silly little things people do for you that make you happy?

Thursday Thirteen #53: Better late than never

Thirteen Things about My Trip It's the better late than never edition... been a funky week. However, I did promise I'd share more about my trip, so here it is... 1. One of the fine activities the family engaged in is what as known as the chicken fly... 2. You climb a ladder, stick a chicken in the mailbox, and then plunge it out to make it fly. The person whose chicken flies the farthest wins. We did not win. But we sure had fun. 3. I had my children arrested for making a mess. They have not, however, learned their lesson. My house is messier than ever. 4. We also ate like pigs. 5. The littlest one also treated us to some of her beautiful singing, courtesy of a stick she found on the grounds, with backup from her favorite princess doll, Aurora, aka Allora. 6. At the end of the evening, we were treated to a flute serenade and a gorgeous sunset. Huh... well, that's the best of the pictures. So I guess I'll tell you about a few other things until I get to thirteen. 7. We were so far in the mountains, away from any towns, that the nearest place to view fireworks was at least an hour away. This was the first 4th of July I've gone without seeing fireworks. Oh wait, I lied. Didn't get to see any the summer I was in Israel, either. For some reason, they don't celebrate the 4th. ;) 8. Even though it was a family vacation, I did not sleep with my hubby. I slept in the cabin, he and the kiddos slept in a tent. He'd been promising to take them camping, so we figured this was the closest thing. They wouldn't stay in the tent without him. 9. We saw a real live cay-whoa-tee. Sadly, or maybe gladly, the little one afraid of the wild beasts did not see it. She's still bitter about that. 10. I forgot to take pictures of the accommodations and pond. The pond's a little low, but it's still real nice to sit on the bench, drinking tea, and staring at it. 11. We're planning on building a labyrinth there. A few months ago, I was talking about how I wished I had some land to build one, and Gloria said I could put one up at the cabin. I think she's more excited about it than I am. 12. The kids fought less than usual, but are making up for it now. 13. We did not bring the dog, for fear of wild animals. I missed him a lot. We need to figure out a way to bring him so he doesn't get eaten.

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I want to go back...

We spent a glorious two days in the mountains... the family has a cabin in the mountains that we visited for the first time. I can assure you we will be going back. As often as possible. Especially now that I know we have unlimited access.

I can't begin to explain what I loved about being there. Certainly, it was because it's in the mountains. I seriously could never live far from my beloved mountains. How can a person be in the midst of such perfect majesty and not believe in God? Such beauty cannot come from an accident.

The other piece was the peace.

I should tell you that while the cabin has electricity, there is no running water, no phone service, and has two 10 by 12 rooms, one upstairs, one downstairs. For six people, this presents a bit of a space problem. The cabin is affectionately known as "The Shack." For the bathroom, there is a shed several yards away containing a composting toilet. The shower consists of a solar heated bag of water hung on the side of the shed. Primitive, but not unlivable.

For two days, I didn't have to listen to the phone. For two days, I did not hear the blaring of a TV. For two days, we had no computers. For two days, all we had was the glory of God and each other. We had good food, good conversation, good hikes, good times. Not once did my kids say, "Mom, I'm bored."

I enjoyed a book and a cup of tea overlooking a small pond while the birds sang me a song so beautiful, I wonder what I did to deserve such a spectacular symphony. While reading another book, moths attacked me. Apparently, not all of nature appreciates my taste in literature. All in all, I read ten books this weekend.

I'm reminded of Thoreau and I understand the appeal of Walden. Here, in the mountains, I have found my own Walden. And truly, being back in the city, I feel as though a piece is missing from my heart.

This morning, after a comfortable night in my own bed, I woke to such a cacophony that I ran out to the porch, hands over my ears, trying to focus only on the sound the birds in our yard and then the soft whisper of rain. I hated being back in the land of noise. I hated that the children were downstairs on one TV, my husband upstairs on the other. They are in bed now, and the only thing I hear is the soft clack of my fingers on the keyboard and the ticking of the kitchen clock. I miss the hummingbirds. I miss the quiet so dense you can hear the wings of the moths as they float through the darkness.

As I adjust to being back home, I have to figure out how to bring back the feeling of peace we all knew. How about you? Where do you find the most peace? And how do you keep it with you in the midst of all the craziness of life?

Home again...

Well, I posted my TT Wed night with every intention of getting back to my blog Thursday morning before I left town. You know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and men...

So I mentioned, I think, that my freezer died last week when I got back from Costco, so we had to buy a new one. Well... I shopped around, finally settled on this little beauty from Best Buy.


The salesman told me when I ordered it, I'd get it either Tuesday or Wednesday. AFTER I paid for the thing, he said, oops, no sorry, it's Thursday. I let him know I needed it EARLY Thursday or sooner. (AKA I'm leaving town) Wednesday, I get a phone call saying they'll be delivering it LATE Thursday afternoon/early evening. I tried to explain I was leaving town, and needed it sooner. The woman was VERY uncooperative. I finally told her that we'd have to wait until Monday since I would not be home. I asked if we could get some kind of credit since they messed up my delivery time. Nope. Had to talk to the store. Hubby went to the store, they said they couldn't do anything. Okay, fine. I'm irritated that I have to wait until Monday for my freezer, but since I won't be home, that's fine.

Fast forward to Thursday. AKA the day we're leaving, which according to Murphy's law, is the day everything goes wrong and gets messed up. It does, but so far, not too bad. We are getting ready to walk out the door and the phone rings. It's Best Buy. They're on their way to my house with my freezer. Since they're on the way, we figure, okay, we'll wait around. Of course, this leads to mad dash of moving things around to get freezer in the house since I wasn't planning on it getting here until Monday. And, because you all know I was trying to get out of town, they got to my house later than what they said. I'm slightly bitter that I paid $60 for all of this hassle.

However, I did get out of town. And I do have my brand-new, beautiful freezer. And really, hubby is probably grateful for the Best Buy delay, because it gave him more time to get stuff together without me yelling at him for taking too much time. :) So I'm happy even though I'll probably think hard before buying something else from Best Buy that has to be delivered. My appliances from Home Depot were not this much hassle.

Anyway, now that I'm home again, I can start playing with my new freezer, get a little unpacking done, do some laundry, take a bath, download pictures, and then I'll blog about my many adventures in the mountains. We had a ball. Nearly two days of no TV, no computers, no noise... heaven. Of course, the rest of the family is holed up in the basement glued to the TV. Sigh. Now that I know we have use of this cabin, I think we may do this at least once a month. :)

Thursday Thirteen #52: Things that make me smile

1. My Cowgirl
2. My Princess
3. My friend Tonya's pictures. It's too late to ask her permission to post one, so go visit her.
4. Jokes about The LiLi. My hubby and I get pretty silly with them all.
5. Babies.
6. Silly text messages from my friends... they know I don't text, but every once and a while, they send me a message that warms my heart.
7. Reading a good book.
8. Mike Myers (He just happens to be on Leno right now. My all time favorite comedy is So I married an ax murderer)
9. Being in the mountains.
10. A good cup of tea.
11. Chatting with friends.
12. Accomplishing things.
13. Making That Man smile.

Mugs, Pictures, and Dilemmas...

Jan tagged me with a challenge to show off my mugs. So I took a few pictures and then realized why I haven't been posting pictures to begin with. I can't find the little doo-dad to get them from my camera to my computer! I finally found it, and so I present to you... my mugs.




The first one is of my two favorite mugs. My best friend bought me the Harrod's mug when she visited London. The black dog reminds me of my own dog, and the white dog, well, I want one of those. So it's a sort of past, present, future mug. But mostly, it makes me think of her, so when I miss her, I make myself a little tea and drink it from that mug. The second mug in the picture is my everyday mug. It's huge, which is why I love it. I hate small mugs I have to keep refilling.

The second picture is three teacups from Randy's grandmother, a woman I never met, but I'm sure I would have loved her. At the old house, I had all of her old funky dishes on top of my cabinets as a display, but you never really could see them. Here, I have no space on top of my cabinets, so I've decided I'm going to put them into service. I watched a show the other day that really inspired me to go ahead and use some of the "nice" things I'm saving for later.

All of this leads to the dilemmas... I unpacked his grandmother's things the other day, because we made a huge effort to get our stuff out of storage. AND, as of yesterday, the storage is empty and we have everything in our house. Well, in the garage anyway. In the midst of all this craziness, our freezer decided to die. As in right when I got home with Costco loaded up with groceries to go in the freezer. The new freezer, a bit smaller and prettier than the old one, will be delivered Thursday. I haven't quite figured out how we'll get the old one out and the new one in yet. There's the matter of the very full garage.

Now that we have everything here, I feel compelled to get things cleaned up and organized. Plus, there's that full garage I have to contend with. My biggest annoyance right now is my mess. Right now, I do all of my work from a little spot on the couch in the family room. It's great because I have a full view of the backyard and any mischief the kiddos are getting into. It's bad because I have a whole slew of stuff I need to do my work and I have no place to put it.

Enter exhibit A:
As you can see, it's a mess. I proposed the solution of getting a small bookcase (one of the little short ones) and putting it right there so I can have all the stuff I need organized and at arm's reach. That Man, who hates the mess (and I might add had MORE areas like this than I do), thinks the bookcase will just end up cluttered and messy. Which I will admit, probably will happen. He wants me to move it all downstairs to my office. The problem with that is a.) my office is packed full of boxes and I can't move in there, let alone get to any of my overstuffed bookcases. b.) I hate my office because it's in the basement, where it is dark and smelly, so I don't ever use it.

The mess mostly consists of boxes of books I have bought within the past few months and either need to read, write the review, or judge for contests. I could stack them on the floor, but the kiddos would take that as an invitation to destroy or move, and even though it looks like a mess, the boxes ARE organized according to task and priority.

Soooo.... tell me what I should do. Suggestions, compromises, ideas are welcome!