Today's been an interesting day for me. Mostly spent in fellowship with the Lord. I haven't done that in some time. I woke up after having a bizarre dream that had absolutely nothing to do with anything (I think... someone I dislike had an affair with another friend's husband. Any interpretations?). I'd planned on doing something nice for the family, to make breakfast for us to eat together, which we haven't done in some time.
I did the usual, cooked, cleaned, and ate with them, and then... I just felt like I missed Him. So I caught up on a book I'd been reading, Desiring God by John Piper, started Brennan Manning's The Ragamuffin Gospel, played around in my Bible, listened to some good worship music, and just enjoyed myself.
With the exception of the time I took to read one novel (about 1 1/2 hours) and the time I took to clean up or make meals, I spent the entire day with the Lord. For some people, this is a regular thing. For me, I'm usually too busy, too stressed, and so it doesn't happen. Or it happens in a small amount and I content myself with that. But today, I gave Him the whole day. And it was wonderful.
Except He spent a lot of time working on my heart and a lot of issues. Things that will probably be coming out in later blogs. So beware...
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Thursday Thirteen #58: Back to School Resolutions
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We're two weeks into school and I feel like we're still in summer slacker mode. I have basically a week and a half and then I'm back teaching. I started looking at our schedule and it looks pretty scary. M,W,F, Sat, we have soccer. M, TH, I teach. Tues is church. Last night, my intention of making a nice dinner of salmon, quinoa, and veggies turned into making a run for the border to wolf down dinner to get to curriculum night in time. So, as I sat stressing about everything we have to do, I thought, why not make some back to school resolutions? 1. Just because there is no reasonable expectation that we will eat dinner as a family most nights doesn't mean I can't make dinner and leave it warming on the stove for when the crew trickles in. 2. Having dinner for the family means I need to actually start planning dinner, rather than the mad dash to the store at 5:00. 3. Homework starts next week. So that means setting aside regular time to work on what sounds like will be ongoing projects. 4. Next week, with school starting for the little one, I get my Panera time back. Which means dedicated no-excuse writing time. 5. Okay, I admit it. I feel better when I exercise. So I will get up and exercise in the mornings. 6. Ditto for breakfast. Kiddo's lunch is an hour later this year, so I need to make sure she has breakfast foods she will eat. Plus, I'll admit to feeling better if I eat breakfast too. 7. While we're on the topic of things that make me feel better, I found the Bible study I was working on in the spring and am committed to continue working through it. 8. I'm going to spend more time reading with the littlest one. Not that it's a contest or anything, but I couldn't believe how much my friend is required to read to her preschooler for the program she's in. We're definitely not that disciplined, and she likes reading. 9. Somehow, we'll figure out how to continue our weekly library trips. The kiddos love it. 10. The kiddos get a lot of weird days off this year. I'm going to take advantage of the time off and do good things with them, like go to the zoo. 11. I'm going to make sure we all get our vitamins. As busy as we are, we need them. 12. I'm not going to stress about the little things, like the fact that the little one always leaves the house with unmatched socks. 13. Mostly, though, I'm going to give myself a break. If it doesn't all come together perfectly, that's okay. |
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
What are you willing to sacrifice?
So obviously God is bringing me through a time of testing and challenging my beliefs. Last night, of course, we dealt with my whole workaholic nature. Not that it's fixed, but God's got me there wrestling with it.
Tonight at church, our pastor talked about how our God is a dangerous God. When you make the choice to follow God, and you ask Him to do something in your life, the risk is that He just might make you do it. Ad it may not exactly be the easiest thing in the world to do.
The reason I share this is not to give you a sermon recap, but to tell you something that has profoundly impacted me. See, tonight was a bittersweet night. We celebrated the 11th anniversary of our church. In addition, he announced something I've known for a while, but well, I was not prepared to hear from his lips. He and his family are leaving our church to move to Mozambique and follow their mission calling.
This is a hard, but joyous thing for me. His wife, Amy, is one of my closest friends. She has meant so much to me, I honestly can't imagine my life without her nearby. And yet, I am so thrilled for her that she's getting to do it. To follow her calling and stretch herself beyond anything she's ever done.
In tonight's message, Dave challenged us to think of what it means to serve a dangerous God. I started thinking about what that looked like in my life. At first, I thought a lot about how the reality of my life is that I often try to tame God. I often say, "YES! I want to follow God's calling. Oh, but, this is what I'll do to follow it, 'kay, God?" For a minute or two, I was jealous of Amy's bravery. Of being able to give up everything familiar, everything she loved, and just go.
I wondered if I was really doing that in my life... have I really followed the road of my calling, of the dangerous God, or am I just playing it safe?
Last week, I received a disappointment in my writing journey. Not a rejection. Not a redirection, but the news that the editor I've dreamed of working with will no longer be in her current position. I was heartbroken, because she is one of my favorite people, and I respect her so much. And now we won't be able to work together.
I called my compadres and bemoaned my fate, questioning whether or not this is what God wanted for me. My writing journey has not been an easy one. Three years ago, I made a heart wrenching decision to follow God with my writing. It meant saying no to a New York agent, not submitting requested books to big name New York editors and houses, not submitting books to another editor I like and respect, and pretty much disappearing off the writing radar. Would I have made it big time? Who knows? But I made the decision to give it up because God asked me to. I stopped submitting, stopping pursuing what had been a huge dream for me for a long time. He started giving me direction, and I started listening.
So here I am, in a season where I thought God was saying yes to my writing dream, and despite a lot of really cool things, I have this speed bump. As I thought and prayed about it, God said something to me... "you've trusted me this far, will you continue to trust me?"
The only answer I could give, the answer I have been giving for three years, was yes.
Tonight, though, I had to look at it again... am I taming God? Am I playing it safe? And really, truly, are my writing dreams and the path I am taking in following them, am I doing it with the heart of God in my sight?
Truthfully, I don't have an answer. I'd like to think I'm following God. I've stopped writing for publication, changed genres, started writing again, chosen a more difficult path to publication than I needed to, and I'm still waiting. Still trusting. And still asking if I'm following Him or me. Inside I feel like a great big chicken. And I truly can't tell you anything other than what the journey's looked like so far, and the questions I still ask.
What are you willing to sacrifice? Everything? Or just what feels safe to give up?
Like I said, I don't know the answer. I'm still figuring that out for myself. I'm not sure there is an answer, except that we should keep asking, keep seeking, and keep following, even if we don't entirely know where we're headed.
Tonight at church, our pastor talked about how our God is a dangerous God. When you make the choice to follow God, and you ask Him to do something in your life, the risk is that He just might make you do it. Ad it may not exactly be the easiest thing in the world to do.
The reason I share this is not to give you a sermon recap, but to tell you something that has profoundly impacted me. See, tonight was a bittersweet night. We celebrated the 11th anniversary of our church. In addition, he announced something I've known for a while, but well, I was not prepared to hear from his lips. He and his family are leaving our church to move to Mozambique and follow their mission calling.
This is a hard, but joyous thing for me. His wife, Amy, is one of my closest friends. She has meant so much to me, I honestly can't imagine my life without her nearby. And yet, I am so thrilled for her that she's getting to do it. To follow her calling and stretch herself beyond anything she's ever done.
In tonight's message, Dave challenged us to think of what it means to serve a dangerous God. I started thinking about what that looked like in my life. At first, I thought a lot about how the reality of my life is that I often try to tame God. I often say, "YES! I want to follow God's calling. Oh, but, this is what I'll do to follow it, 'kay, God?" For a minute or two, I was jealous of Amy's bravery. Of being able to give up everything familiar, everything she loved, and just go.
I wondered if I was really doing that in my life... have I really followed the road of my calling, of the dangerous God, or am I just playing it safe?
Last week, I received a disappointment in my writing journey. Not a rejection. Not a redirection, but the news that the editor I've dreamed of working with will no longer be in her current position. I was heartbroken, because she is one of my favorite people, and I respect her so much. And now we won't be able to work together.
I called my compadres and bemoaned my fate, questioning whether or not this is what God wanted for me. My writing journey has not been an easy one. Three years ago, I made a heart wrenching decision to follow God with my writing. It meant saying no to a New York agent, not submitting requested books to big name New York editors and houses, not submitting books to another editor I like and respect, and pretty much disappearing off the writing radar. Would I have made it big time? Who knows? But I made the decision to give it up because God asked me to. I stopped submitting, stopping pursuing what had been a huge dream for me for a long time. He started giving me direction, and I started listening.
So here I am, in a season where I thought God was saying yes to my writing dream, and despite a lot of really cool things, I have this speed bump. As I thought and prayed about it, God said something to me... "you've trusted me this far, will you continue to trust me?"
The only answer I could give, the answer I have been giving for three years, was yes.
Tonight, though, I had to look at it again... am I taming God? Am I playing it safe? And really, truly, are my writing dreams and the path I am taking in following them, am I doing it with the heart of God in my sight?
Truthfully, I don't have an answer. I'd like to think I'm following God. I've stopped writing for publication, changed genres, started writing again, chosen a more difficult path to publication than I needed to, and I'm still waiting. Still trusting. And still asking if I'm following Him or me. Inside I feel like a great big chicken. And I truly can't tell you anything other than what the journey's looked like so far, and the questions I still ask.
What are you willing to sacrifice? Everything? Or just what feels safe to give up?
Like I said, I don't know the answer. I'm still figuring that out for myself. I'm not sure there is an answer, except that we should keep asking, keep seeking, and keep following, even if we don't entirely know where we're headed.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Being valuable
I have a group of girlfriends, we call ourselves the bat girls. My bat girl friends are an important support group for me. We live all over the world and work hard to get together in person when we can. I met the bat girls at a time in my life when I was feeling a little lost. But they took me in and became my friends and showed me a lot about Christ's love. Not one of us are perfect. Together, though, we just sort of fit. Each one brings a different piece of the body together and as a whole, well, we are the body.
Today, one of the bat girls sent out a bat-beacon because she's depressed over a lot of things. I sat there, praying for her, telling her what I could to encourage her, letting her know that she is so precious to the King. As I wrote, God started talking to me, asking me, "what makes you so different from her?"
Huh?
For those of you who don't know this about me, I'm a workaholic. I have so many things going on and projects that keep popping up. I recently sent out a prayer request because I was asked to take on another project that frankly, I don't want to do. And I honestly can't figure out a way to say no. I've had so many wonderful folks say, "just say no."
But they don't get it.
When people need me to do things, it makes me valuable. When they say, "hey, can you help with this," I always say yes. I never knew why, I just figured that I'm the helpful sort of girl who likes to lend a hand. And I am. But I'm also a scared little girl who has this messed up version of identity that says if I don't have enough notches on my scorecard of stuff I've done, I'm not valuable.
I've always been the overachiever. Looking back, I know it was because people in my life only treated me with value if I was accomplishing something good. And with each accomplishment, it set the bar higher. I got out of that dangerous cycle, or so I thought.
Then here I am, trying to make this decision, and I'm praying for my bat girl friend because my heart is just broken that she can't see what a beautiful, amazing person she is... and God smacked me one. I do not have to do all the stuff I'm doing to be valuable. I do not have to say yes to this project. I do not have to have a clean house, be the perfect friend, be the perfect mom, win any awards, get the contracts, say the right things, etc.
Through my bat girl friend's struggle, God showed me how I am still using a messed up standard for my life. I can tell everyone around me that God loves them just as they are, and I fully believe that with all my heart. But boy, I really messed up in applying that to my life.
Lord, thank you so much for putting people like the bat girls in my life. Thank you for allowing me to have contact with other parts of my body that are constantly revealing to me where I still need to have my vision adjusted. And thank you for giving me friends who are willing to be transparent in their lives so you can reveal places in mine that need work.
And for those of you who struggle with this, please know you are not alone. And know that God really does love you, just as you are. You are valuable. And so am I.
Today, one of the bat girls sent out a bat-beacon because she's depressed over a lot of things. I sat there, praying for her, telling her what I could to encourage her, letting her know that she is so precious to the King. As I wrote, God started talking to me, asking me, "what makes you so different from her?"
Huh?
For those of you who don't know this about me, I'm a workaholic. I have so many things going on and projects that keep popping up. I recently sent out a prayer request because I was asked to take on another project that frankly, I don't want to do. And I honestly can't figure out a way to say no. I've had so many wonderful folks say, "just say no."
But they don't get it.
When people need me to do things, it makes me valuable. When they say, "hey, can you help with this," I always say yes. I never knew why, I just figured that I'm the helpful sort of girl who likes to lend a hand. And I am. But I'm also a scared little girl who has this messed up version of identity that says if I don't have enough notches on my scorecard of stuff I've done, I'm not valuable.
I've always been the overachiever. Looking back, I know it was because people in my life only treated me with value if I was accomplishing something good. And with each accomplishment, it set the bar higher. I got out of that dangerous cycle, or so I thought.
Then here I am, trying to make this decision, and I'm praying for my bat girl friend because my heart is just broken that she can't see what a beautiful, amazing person she is... and God smacked me one. I do not have to do all the stuff I'm doing to be valuable. I do not have to say yes to this project. I do not have to have a clean house, be the perfect friend, be the perfect mom, win any awards, get the contracts, say the right things, etc.
Through my bat girl friend's struggle, God showed me how I am still using a messed up standard for my life. I can tell everyone around me that God loves them just as they are, and I fully believe that with all my heart. But boy, I really messed up in applying that to my life.
Lord, thank you so much for putting people like the bat girls in my life. Thank you for allowing me to have contact with other parts of my body that are constantly revealing to me where I still need to have my vision adjusted. And thank you for giving me friends who are willing to be transparent in their lives so you can reveal places in mine that need work.
And for those of you who struggle with this, please know you are not alone. And know that God really does love you, just as you are. You are valuable. And so am I.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Thursday Thirteen #57: Work at home mom edition
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As many of you know, I have a few jobs I do from home. And, as it seems, continually counting. I was going to rant about this the other day when yet another person suggested that I have absolutely nothing better to do with my time. And then I thought it'd make a perfect Thursday Thirteen. 1. As mentioned above, people assume I have nothing better to do with my time than work on what they need me to do: NOW. Only problem is that just like in their jobs, I have deadlines, too. So when I take a couple hours to do what you need me to do, that means I stay up a couple hours later at night to finish my work. 2. People who work in an office can't do laundry while working. This might be a no-brainer, except for a work at home mom, she not only can do laundry while working, but she has to balance actually getting work done with the expectation that she should do laundry while working. (Huh. When was that on the job interview questionnaire?) 3. People who work in offices don't have to listen to, "Mom! I'm bored," all day while working. 4. The best business related phone call I had was when my boss called and my daughter informed her that I was in the bathroom, and exactly what I was doing in the bathroom. 5. Without OSHA breathing down my neck, breaks happen when they happen. Roughly translated, this means never. 6. It is amazing how many distractions there are: laundry, dishes, fixing dinner, screaming kids, the dog, etc. Try taking your household to work for a day and see how well it lasts. 7. Lest I sound too much like I'm complaining, my work day starts when I want it to. Generally, this means rolling out of bed when I wake up and firing up my computer while still in my jammies. Unless, of course, I have a meeting and have to be up at a certain time. 8. Conference calls aren't nearly as boring at 75 mph on the freeway. 9. So long as I meet my deadlines and produce quality work, no one's breathing down my neck on a daily basis. 10. It's hard to get out of "work mode" when work is always around me. 11. For a change of pace, I get to head to "my other office" and take the laptop with me to have tea at Panera. 12. Because my jobs are a lot of fun, sometimes people question whether or not I really am working. 13. And of course, there's that dreaded question... "What DID you do all day?" Next person to ask me that one gets it. Don't make me show you what "it" is. |
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
Monday, August 18, 2008
Finding a writing groove
You all may recall that for the past several months, I've been jumping through the agent hoop, working on round after round of revisions. Yay me. At RWA, I went to a spotlight and found out that they do not want books like #2 in my proposal. Oops. That left me spending the past couple weeks scrambling to change my proposal, taking out the bad book and inserting another book.
The problem: #2 was a complete, new book is in process.
So I figured, just in case editor sees new book idea and wants that as #1 book, I figured I ought to get a little more done on it. Which is what I did over the weekend. YAY me.
It took a while to get back into my groove. I've been editing so long, I almost forgot how to write. I mean, I can still put a sentence together with the best of them. I just couldn't let go and let the words flow, crap or not. I kept hearing Anne Lamott in the back of my head telling me it's okay to write a crappy first draft. And Nora Roberts telling me I can't edit a blank page.
So I wrote.
I wrote crap. I deleted a lot of it. I fought with my internal editor, and I am emerging victorious. I have a workaholic hero who wasn't supposed to be a workaholic, except I'm finding that in that structured man with a plan there is a compassionate heart I didn't realize existed when I originally planned this book. I didn't realize how deeply committed he is to justice and mercy, the driving values behind his workaholicism. Maybe those things don't seem to fit together, but for some reason, with this hero, it makes him who he is.
And I realized, that even if it started out looking like a great big pile o' poo, it's coming together to create something even more spectacular than I could have ever dreamed. Which made me remember why I love writing so much.
I should be getting to bed now, but after having spent a few hours doing the work that pays the bills (and I am not knocking it at all, because I do enjoy it), I need to do the work that makes my soul sing. Because that, my friends, is what the writing groove is all about.
The problem: #2 was a complete, new book is in process.
So I figured, just in case editor sees new book idea and wants that as #1 book, I figured I ought to get a little more done on it. Which is what I did over the weekend. YAY me.
It took a while to get back into my groove. I've been editing so long, I almost forgot how to write. I mean, I can still put a sentence together with the best of them. I just couldn't let go and let the words flow, crap or not. I kept hearing Anne Lamott in the back of my head telling me it's okay to write a crappy first draft. And Nora Roberts telling me I can't edit a blank page.
So I wrote.
I wrote crap. I deleted a lot of it. I fought with my internal editor, and I am emerging victorious. I have a workaholic hero who wasn't supposed to be a workaholic, except I'm finding that in that structured man with a plan there is a compassionate heart I didn't realize existed when I originally planned this book. I didn't realize how deeply committed he is to justice and mercy, the driving values behind his workaholicism. Maybe those things don't seem to fit together, but for some reason, with this hero, it makes him who he is.
And I realized, that even if it started out looking like a great big pile o' poo, it's coming together to create something even more spectacular than I could have ever dreamed. Which made me remember why I love writing so much.
I should be getting to bed now, but after having spent a few hours doing the work that pays the bills (and I am not knocking it at all, because I do enjoy it), I need to do the work that makes my soul sing. Because that, my friends, is what the writing groove is all about.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Fouled up Friday
Yesterday, I had every intention of posting a Thursday Thirteen. I had great plans for the topic, which you'll see next week. Hopefully.
However, yesterday, I threw a major temper tantrum. I have been trying to get my family to clean the house ever since I returned from RWA to a monstrous mess. Have they listened? No. So, the night before, on my way out to a meeting, I told them... get it cleaned up or I'm boxing it all away. They didn't listen.
So I spent all day yesterday, taking all the stuff they had on the floor and boxing it up. It took eleven boxes. But I did it. I sat down, thought I'd relax for a while, and then realized I hadn't done any work for my jobs at all. YIKES! So I got busy with that, all the while thinking it would be a great Thursday Thirteen topic, mentally composing as I did everything else.
Then I remembered The Deadline. For some reason, probably a lack of sanity on my part, I agreed to write a textbook for one of the tax classes. Actually, it is a good thing, after all, who can argue with more money? But... the first couple of chapters are due Monday and I have to have them reviewed by one of my peers to double check my interpretation of tax law before I can turn it in. Since it was Thursday night, I figured I'd better get cracking. (In all fairness, it wasn't entirely procrastination. We'd had the meetings for the information on Tuesday and Wednesday, so really Thurs was the earliest I could do it)
So last night, I wrote a few chapters, sent them off, thought about getting ready to blog, and then hubby messed it up. He's had a weird work week and has been working lots of crazy hours. The upshot is that it'll be a lot of moohlah, the downside is that he's going to end up having worked about 70 or so hours this week. Anyway, he had to do a late night thing, so as I was working, he got up to go to work. And I don't know, something about that signaled that it was time for me to go to bed. So I did.
Which brings me to my fouled up Friday. If I'm in our bed, I don't sleep well if he's not in it. I can sleep fine if I'm gone somewhere else. But when he's gone... Ugh. So this morning, I open my sandy little eyes to a dark room and think, "great. I'm up early again. Can't believe I got absolutely no sleep last night." Then I looked at the clock. Um...
Kiddo was supposed to be at school an hour ago!
Fortunately, she's an early bird, self starter, and I can completely count on her to be out the door and on her way to school on time. So she was long gone. I'm a bit worried though, that her hair is not brushed. I hate that!
So here we are, a rainy, dark, cold Friday, and I'm still in my jammies. I need to go out and deposit hubby's paycheck so I can pay some bills. Maybe hit the store. I planned on grilling steaks for dinner tonight and made hubby fix the grill last night so I could do it, but with all this yucky weather, steak sounds gross.
But maybe I'll feel better after a couple cups of tea... anyone want to join me?
However, yesterday, I threw a major temper tantrum. I have been trying to get my family to clean the house ever since I returned from RWA to a monstrous mess. Have they listened? No. So, the night before, on my way out to a meeting, I told them... get it cleaned up or I'm boxing it all away. They didn't listen.
So I spent all day yesterday, taking all the stuff they had on the floor and boxing it up. It took eleven boxes. But I did it. I sat down, thought I'd relax for a while, and then realized I hadn't done any work for my jobs at all. YIKES! So I got busy with that, all the while thinking it would be a great Thursday Thirteen topic, mentally composing as I did everything else.
Then I remembered The Deadline. For some reason, probably a lack of sanity on my part, I agreed to write a textbook for one of the tax classes. Actually, it is a good thing, after all, who can argue with more money? But... the first couple of chapters are due Monday and I have to have them reviewed by one of my peers to double check my interpretation of tax law before I can turn it in. Since it was Thursday night, I figured I'd better get cracking. (In all fairness, it wasn't entirely procrastination. We'd had the meetings for the information on Tuesday and Wednesday, so really Thurs was the earliest I could do it)
So last night, I wrote a few chapters, sent them off, thought about getting ready to blog, and then hubby messed it up. He's had a weird work week and has been working lots of crazy hours. The upshot is that it'll be a lot of moohlah, the downside is that he's going to end up having worked about 70 or so hours this week. Anyway, he had to do a late night thing, so as I was working, he got up to go to work. And I don't know, something about that signaled that it was time for me to go to bed. So I did.
Which brings me to my fouled up Friday. If I'm in our bed, I don't sleep well if he's not in it. I can sleep fine if I'm gone somewhere else. But when he's gone... Ugh. So this morning, I open my sandy little eyes to a dark room and think, "great. I'm up early again. Can't believe I got absolutely no sleep last night." Then I looked at the clock. Um...
Kiddo was supposed to be at school an hour ago!
Fortunately, she's an early bird, self starter, and I can completely count on her to be out the door and on her way to school on time. So she was long gone. I'm a bit worried though, that her hair is not brushed. I hate that!
So here we are, a rainy, dark, cold Friday, and I'm still in my jammies. I need to go out and deposit hubby's paycheck so I can pay some bills. Maybe hit the store. I planned on grilling steaks for dinner tonight and made hubby fix the grill last night so I could do it, but with all this yucky weather, steak sounds gross.
But maybe I'll feel better after a couple cups of tea... anyone want to join me?
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Thoughts on Celebrity and Character
I mentioned in my last post the whole to-do over Lance Armstrong. As I observed the "Lance mania," I thought a lot about celebrity and what it means. Believe it or not, I'm not a big celebrity person. I don't understand why, just because a celebrity says something, we should all go out and do it.
I am, however, a big character person. When I mention celebrities I like, it's typically because they have some character trait I admire. After this weekend, I am a Lance Armstrong fan. Why?
It's clear he loves riding. He also seems like a pretty decent guy. The interviews with him were all really good in terms of how he spoke of others, and when he spoke at the awards ceremony, I couldn't help but be impressed by a guy who didn't just compete, but worked to get others to work harder and better too.
At one point, he rode by us with the guy who ended up winning, Dave Wiens, and I don't know what they were saying, but clearly, they were having fun. You'd think they were just two guys out on a bike ride, enjoying the day. When Dave won, Lance had no sour grapes, but open admiration for a worthy competitor.
Lance Armstrong is just a regular guy who happens to have made a name for himself. I don't think he's perfect, for one, he's a man, but he's also human. And yet, there are traits about him that I respect and admire enough that you can bet the next time he rides, I'll be on the sidelines, cheering for him.
It made me think about other celebrities I respect and admire, and why. As many of you know, I adore Todd Agnew. His music is amazing, but more than that, he's got an incredible heart for God. I've met him a few times, and he has always been a humble, caring person. Again, he's not perfect. But because I see the person behind the music, he is an artist I will always support.
That said, there are a couple of artists whose music I will no longer support because of how they treat others. I realize it must be hard to have everyone vying for your attention, but the rudeness I've seen and the way they have treated people I care about makes me wonder how much of the message they really live. Without character, their message means nothing to me.
And then there's the great Nora Roberts. I like her. Haven't read one of her books in years, and am completely unwilling to stand in one of the fan-crazed lines to chat with her, but you know what? I have a lot of respect for her and if I didn't have a ton of other books to read, I'd read her again. Not because she's sold tons of books, although let's face it, that's pretty cool. But for me, the reason I like her is that I have had several opportunities to encounter her and she has always impressed me with what a decent human being she was. For example, at the last RWA conference, we were at the Harlequin party, and someone had spilled their drink. Nora told me to be careful of the mess and guided me away, not knowing me, not caring that she was the great Nora. We were just two folks trying to maneuver a dance floor.
Contrast that with another author, just starting to get a lot of bestseller attention. I used to adore her books. Haven't read one in years. Why? Character, or lack thereof. She's been rude, arrogant, and downright nasty to me a number of times. She's probably one of the most talented authors I've met, and because she is such a nasty person, I will never read one of her books again.
Note... in all the bad examples, I'm not mentioning names. I'm doing that for a reason. I don't want people to make decisions about others just because I have an issue with them. I hope that they will take the time to judge for themselves.
The thing about celebrities is that anyone can be one. Slap a talent label on a person and suddenly they're hot stuff. I wish, though, that we had another category for celebrity. Folks with good character that we can look up to and say, "hey, that's something to admire."
I don't know if or when I'll ever hit the big time as an author. But my hope and prayer is that I learn from the examples set before me. I want to take the time to treat others as human beings and give them the respect that everyone deserves. I pray that I will not be rude or look down on others because they have not reached the same level of success. I'm not perfect, either. And I'm pretty sure I'll continue to make my share of mistakes. But when people say they admire or respect me, I really hope it's because they see the good qualities in my character.
I am, however, a big character person. When I mention celebrities I like, it's typically because they have some character trait I admire. After this weekend, I am a Lance Armstrong fan. Why?
It's clear he loves riding. He also seems like a pretty decent guy. The interviews with him were all really good in terms of how he spoke of others, and when he spoke at the awards ceremony, I couldn't help but be impressed by a guy who didn't just compete, but worked to get others to work harder and better too.
At one point, he rode by us with the guy who ended up winning, Dave Wiens, and I don't know what they were saying, but clearly, they were having fun. You'd think they were just two guys out on a bike ride, enjoying the day. When Dave won, Lance had no sour grapes, but open admiration for a worthy competitor.
Lance Armstrong is just a regular guy who happens to have made a name for himself. I don't think he's perfect, for one, he's a man, but he's also human. And yet, there are traits about him that I respect and admire enough that you can bet the next time he rides, I'll be on the sidelines, cheering for him.
It made me think about other celebrities I respect and admire, and why. As many of you know, I adore Todd Agnew. His music is amazing, but more than that, he's got an incredible heart for God. I've met him a few times, and he has always been a humble, caring person. Again, he's not perfect. But because I see the person behind the music, he is an artist I will always support.
That said, there are a couple of artists whose music I will no longer support because of how they treat others. I realize it must be hard to have everyone vying for your attention, but the rudeness I've seen and the way they have treated people I care about makes me wonder how much of the message they really live. Without character, their message means nothing to me.
And then there's the great Nora Roberts. I like her. Haven't read one of her books in years, and am completely unwilling to stand in one of the fan-crazed lines to chat with her, but you know what? I have a lot of respect for her and if I didn't have a ton of other books to read, I'd read her again. Not because she's sold tons of books, although let's face it, that's pretty cool. But for me, the reason I like her is that I have had several opportunities to encounter her and she has always impressed me with what a decent human being she was. For example, at the last RWA conference, we were at the Harlequin party, and someone had spilled their drink. Nora told me to be careful of the mess and guided me away, not knowing me, not caring that she was the great Nora. We were just two folks trying to maneuver a dance floor.
Contrast that with another author, just starting to get a lot of bestseller attention. I used to adore her books. Haven't read one in years. Why? Character, or lack thereof. She's been rude, arrogant, and downright nasty to me a number of times. She's probably one of the most talented authors I've met, and because she is such a nasty person, I will never read one of her books again.
Note... in all the bad examples, I'm not mentioning names. I'm doing that for a reason. I don't want people to make decisions about others just because I have an issue with them. I hope that they will take the time to judge for themselves.
The thing about celebrities is that anyone can be one. Slap a talent label on a person and suddenly they're hot stuff. I wish, though, that we had another category for celebrity. Folks with good character that we can look up to and say, "hey, that's something to admire."
I don't know if or when I'll ever hit the big time as an author. But my hope and prayer is that I learn from the examples set before me. I want to take the time to treat others as human beings and give them the respect that everyone deserves. I pray that I will not be rude or look down on others because they have not reached the same level of success. I'm not perfect, either. And I'm pretty sure I'll continue to make my share of mistakes. But when people say they admire or respect me, I really hope it's because they see the good qualities in my character.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
The big weekend
As is our family tradition every August, we head up to Leadville, CO to crew for my BIL as he races the Leadville Trail 100. It is a 100 mile mountain bike race through some pretty scary terrain. Let's be clear: this race is not for wimps. You have twelve hours to do the ride. Ricky's done this every year since they started, so this was his 1500 mile finish. He did great!
It was his second best time of 8 hours and 24 minutes. He kept telling us, "hurry to the next aid station! I'll be there fast!" And he was. We were so proud of how well he did, and he looked great.
The big news was that Lance Armstrong was there. It was sort of a surreal thing, because so many folks there had Lance fever. I caught him racing past a couple of times, and only managed to catch the back of his shirt. Yes, I admit, had to snap a few shots. After all, how many times am I going to get to see Lance Armstrong race?
I always have mixed feelings about going up there. It is a lot of fun. It's great family time. And I think it's the one thing we can all do together and work as a team, so it means a lot. But let's be very clear here: I am not a morning person. This business of having to be at the start of the race at 6:30 a.m. is a problem for me. Fortunately, the family is used to this after ten years, so they let me sit in the car and be grumpy until I can function. That Man is very good about making sure no one speaks to me until I am ready to be spoken to. But seriously, if we could just skip that part of family togetherness, I would be so happy.
And then, there was the lack of promised Internet access. Our hotel boasted free wireless access. Which, in theory, is true. In practical application, they use the same router we do at home, and so, our room was too far away to pick up a signal. Downtown Leadville also boasts free wireless access. In theory, perhaps. In practicality, I never did find a place where I could get a signal. It makes me almost wish I had a crackberry. Almost. I can go without Internet and be happy. I just need to know ahead of time.
Also, for the record, other than trying to get a wireless signal and the conference call I needed the notes for (yes, it is possible to work driving through the mountains), I did not open my laptop at all. So there.
I did, however, read two books. One was while we were waiting on the back side of Turquoise Lake for Ricky to come through. Kiddos were sleeping in the car, it was raining, I thought, why not? Good book. Susan May Warren's Get Cozy, Josey. We'll not talk about the fact that it's the last in the series. Really, Susie? Can ya change your mind on that one? And then, I read another book last night. I actually don't remember that one. Hmmm... doesn't bode well for that book, eh? It was a confusing book, so it's probably okay I don't remember.
So back to this sleep thing... the other thing I don't understand is how people can go to bed early unless they're sick. I TRIED. Last night, after being up since five freaking thirty, you'd think I could go to bed at eight. Nope. I read a book. Still tossed and turned FOREVER. Did the same thing Friday night, although I wasn't as tired, since I got up at a respectable 8:30 a.m. Then again, I never could go to bed early. Even as a kid, I'd stay up really late reading because I couldn't sleep.
Anyway, that was my big weekend. Full of excitement, lack of sleep, and did I mention we had our little terrorists with us? Nah, they weren't that bad. They had their moments, but for the most part, they were pretty good. Nothing got blown up, no one got hurt, and as far as I can tell, we didn't send anyone screaming for mercy. Good times, I tell you, good times.
It was his second best time of 8 hours and 24 minutes. He kept telling us, "hurry to the next aid station! I'll be there fast!" And he was. We were so proud of how well he did, and he looked great.
The big news was that Lance Armstrong was there. It was sort of a surreal thing, because so many folks there had Lance fever. I caught him racing past a couple of times, and only managed to catch the back of his shirt. Yes, I admit, had to snap a few shots. After all, how many times am I going to get to see Lance Armstrong race?
I always have mixed feelings about going up there. It is a lot of fun. It's great family time. And I think it's the one thing we can all do together and work as a team, so it means a lot. But let's be very clear here: I am not a morning person. This business of having to be at the start of the race at 6:30 a.m. is a problem for me. Fortunately, the family is used to this after ten years, so they let me sit in the car and be grumpy until I can function. That Man is very good about making sure no one speaks to me until I am ready to be spoken to. But seriously, if we could just skip that part of family togetherness, I would be so happy.
And then, there was the lack of promised Internet access. Our hotel boasted free wireless access. Which, in theory, is true. In practical application, they use the same router we do at home, and so, our room was too far away to pick up a signal. Downtown Leadville also boasts free wireless access. In theory, perhaps. In practicality, I never did find a place where I could get a signal. It makes me almost wish I had a crackberry. Almost. I can go without Internet and be happy. I just need to know ahead of time.
Also, for the record, other than trying to get a wireless signal and the conference call I needed the notes for (yes, it is possible to work driving through the mountains), I did not open my laptop at all. So there.
I did, however, read two books. One was while we were waiting on the back side of Turquoise Lake for Ricky to come through. Kiddos were sleeping in the car, it was raining, I thought, why not? Good book. Susan May Warren's Get Cozy, Josey. We'll not talk about the fact that it's the last in the series. Really, Susie? Can ya change your mind on that one? And then, I read another book last night. I actually don't remember that one. Hmmm... doesn't bode well for that book, eh? It was a confusing book, so it's probably okay I don't remember.
So back to this sleep thing... the other thing I don't understand is how people can go to bed early unless they're sick. I TRIED. Last night, after being up since five freaking thirty, you'd think I could go to bed at eight. Nope. I read a book. Still tossed and turned FOREVER. Did the same thing Friday night, although I wasn't as tired, since I got up at a respectable 8:30 a.m. Then again, I never could go to bed early. Even as a kid, I'd stay up really late reading because I couldn't sleep.
Anyway, that was my big weekend. Full of excitement, lack of sleep, and did I mention we had our little terrorists with us? Nah, they weren't that bad. They had their moments, but for the most part, they were pretty good. Nothing got blown up, no one got hurt, and as far as I can tell, we didn't send anyone screaming for mercy. Good times, I tell you, good times.
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Thursday Thirteen #56: Back to School Edition
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School starts Tuesday... I can't believe it! 1. My summer plan of lots of activities sort of worked. We didn't go crazy, but we also didn't do everything I'd hoped. 2. I am most eager to get my Panera time back, but that won't happen until Sept, because the littlest one does not go back to school until then. 3. King Soopers makes school supply shopping sooo easy. You go to the one nearest your school, and they have premade packages of everything for each grade. Buy one, and you're done. YES! 4. I'm now wondering how we'll fit all the stuff we still have left to do in the next couple of days, especially considering we'll be at my BIL's bike race this weekend. 5. School fees are ridiculous. The high schooler's fees were in excess of $500. No, she's not in any special activities or sports. That's just what the regular fees are. The second grader's fees were $40, up from last year. Whoever said public education was free is a big fat liar. 6. I'm looking forward to having more structured days. 7. The dog is looking forward to not being chased around the house all day. 8. I just realized that I need to start getting them back on a school bedtime schedule. Let the games begin! 9. This means I also start teaching taxes again in less than a month. I'm not sure I'm ready to go back. I've been really enjoying my time off. :) 10. My kiddos are really looking forward to seeing their friends again. I still haven't broken it to my daughter that she will not have the same kids in her class this year. 11. I might actually get to clean my house and have it stay clean for a couple of hours. 12. I'll be back on wardrobe patrol. It's amazing what they can and can't wear to school. 13. And let's not forget that their little minds will be filled with all sorts of information. |
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Wednesday, August 06, 2008
I know, it's still ugly
My blog, that is.
The trouble with going away for a week is That Man and The Children take over. My house gets thrown into chaos and I'm left wondering things like, "what IS that thing in my sink?" and "what have they done to my bathroom?" and still worse, "exactly what am I smelling?" For some reason, That Man (though some have suggested it's true of all men) is completely incapable of multitasking. My choice is either keep my children alive or keep the house in order. I returned to living children, and I'm not entirely sure I didn't get the short end of the stick.
Actually, I'm letting them have their fun. School starts in less than a week, and the last thing I want is to have them cooped up and working their tails off on house stuff. So I'm trying to accept it. Trying to ignore the sticky ick on my kitchen floor. Trying to focus on all the other tasks I need to accomplish.
Did I mention school starts next week?
Three more weeks, and Terrorist is back in preschool. And then... drumroll please...
I get my Panera time back!!!
Sanity will return to the House of Dream.
And then, my friends, I can do fun things like pretty-fy my blog, add more cool stuff to my website, and maybe, just maybe finally get back to finding time for a decent nap!!
The trouble with going away for a week is That Man and The Children take over. My house gets thrown into chaos and I'm left wondering things like, "what IS that thing in my sink?" and "what have they done to my bathroom?" and still worse, "exactly what am I smelling?" For some reason, That Man (though some have suggested it's true of all men) is completely incapable of multitasking. My choice is either keep my children alive or keep the house in order. I returned to living children, and I'm not entirely sure I didn't get the short end of the stick.
Actually, I'm letting them have their fun. School starts in less than a week, and the last thing I want is to have them cooped up and working their tails off on house stuff. So I'm trying to accept it. Trying to ignore the sticky ick on my kitchen floor. Trying to focus on all the other tasks I need to accomplish.
Did I mention school starts next week?
Three more weeks, and Terrorist is back in preschool. And then... drumroll please...
I get my Panera time back!!!
Sanity will return to the House of Dream.
And then, my friends, I can do fun things like pretty-fy my blog, add more cool stuff to my website, and maybe, just maybe finally get back to finding time for a decent nap!!
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Right-O!
So the blog design looks a little different. What can I say? I'm just a rebel... or something like that. I've been a bit bored with my blog design these days. And I realized I never upgraded to the new thing Blogger is doing, so I thought maybe I should do that. hahahaha Did that, and lost my old template. Which I think is a sign that I finally need to toss out the stuff I don't like and bring in something a little more... me.
Technically, I'm supposed to be working on my website, but I'm getting bored with that. I've been working on it all night. I've been searching for new templates for it for a while now and finally found one I like. What do you think?
Actually, I need to get my proposal re-written, because at RWA, the Steeple Hill Spotlight had some great info. Only problem... book #2 in my series is on their "we don't want to see" list. Ugh. No matter, there's two other books in the series, so I'm just swapping it out for the one I didn't use in my proposal. The blurb is written, but I need to run it by the CPs.
And yes, I had fun on my trip. Meant to blog, ran out of time. Translate that to... I was having way too much fun to do much more than post on Twitter and FB.
Right-O.
I'm getting back to work now. Really.
Technically, I'm supposed to be working on my website, but I'm getting bored with that. I've been working on it all night. I've been searching for new templates for it for a while now and finally found one I like. What do you think?
Actually, I need to get my proposal re-written, because at RWA, the Steeple Hill Spotlight had some great info. Only problem... book #2 in my series is on their "we don't want to see" list. Ugh. No matter, there's two other books in the series, so I'm just swapping it out for the one I didn't use in my proposal. The blurb is written, but I need to run it by the CPs.
And yes, I had fun on my trip. Meant to blog, ran out of time. Translate that to... I was having way too much fun to do much more than post on Twitter and FB.
Right-O.
I'm getting back to work now. Really.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Relationships
So I obviously just needed to get out of Dodge to improve my mood. I got on the plane, and I just felt so... peaceful.
For the flight, I had nothing to do. I'd planned on doing some things on my laptop, but oddly, my battery was dead. I didn't bring a book, since I'm on my way to book heaven and will need every inch of space to bring books home. So I did the only thing I could do in the time and space allotted, I studied my Bible.
God and I had really good time together. I have to admit that lately, I haven't felt like much of a Christian. I've been wondering if I really am one with all the junk in my life right now. Today, though, as I spent the two hour plane ride chatting with God, I realized that nope, I'm just fine as a Christian. Because today, well, I realized that's what a relationship looks like.
Tonight, I'm staying at my friend Camy's. Our friendship reminds me a lot of my relationship with God. We can go a while without talking, and when we do talk, things pick up just as though there'd been no space between us. And sometimes, it's like we just can't get enough of each other. Our cell phone bills reflect more minutes than we can care to count. Even though we aren't always physically close, there's a bond of friendship that binds us.
I realized today that's a lot like my relationship with God. The more time we're together, the better we do. But even when I get too busy or stressed, so I shut down, He's still there. And when we get back together, we're still fine. Today was one of those days when we just couldn't get enough of each other.
I just really enjoyed Him. I spent so much time saying, "thank you God," that I can't help but sit here with a permasmile, even though I'm exhausted from getting up way too early and will probably be up way earlier than I care to think about tomorrow. It'll be worth it though. These beautiful memories will sustain me on the days where I wonder, "do I have any friends," or ask, "Lord, are you there?" I can look back on it all and recount just how beautiful these relationships are.
I'm not always a good friend. I don't often call, don't often write, and intend to do things more than I actually do. God doesn't care about all that. Sure, He'd like you to do it a little more often, but mostly, He's just glad to see you. Tomorrow, I'm going to see some folks that I don't often call, don't often write, but they love me anyway. And I them. I think that's the sign of a true friendship.
I imagine that some of you reading this are thinking of a relationship, whether it be with God or a person, that you haven't talked to in a while. You haven't called. You haven't written. You meant to. Either way, today is the perfect day to take that small step and reach out. They're waiting for you.
For the flight, I had nothing to do. I'd planned on doing some things on my laptop, but oddly, my battery was dead. I didn't bring a book, since I'm on my way to book heaven and will need every inch of space to bring books home. So I did the only thing I could do in the time and space allotted, I studied my Bible.
God and I had really good time together. I have to admit that lately, I haven't felt like much of a Christian. I've been wondering if I really am one with all the junk in my life right now. Today, though, as I spent the two hour plane ride chatting with God, I realized that nope, I'm just fine as a Christian. Because today, well, I realized that's what a relationship looks like.
Tonight, I'm staying at my friend Camy's. Our friendship reminds me a lot of my relationship with God. We can go a while without talking, and when we do talk, things pick up just as though there'd been no space between us. And sometimes, it's like we just can't get enough of each other. Our cell phone bills reflect more minutes than we can care to count. Even though we aren't always physically close, there's a bond of friendship that binds us.
I realized today that's a lot like my relationship with God. The more time we're together, the better we do. But even when I get too busy or stressed, so I shut down, He's still there. And when we get back together, we're still fine. Today was one of those days when we just couldn't get enough of each other.
I just really enjoyed Him. I spent so much time saying, "thank you God," that I can't help but sit here with a permasmile, even though I'm exhausted from getting up way too early and will probably be up way earlier than I care to think about tomorrow. It'll be worth it though. These beautiful memories will sustain me on the days where I wonder, "do I have any friends," or ask, "Lord, are you there?" I can look back on it all and recount just how beautiful these relationships are.
I'm not always a good friend. I don't often call, don't often write, and intend to do things more than I actually do. God doesn't care about all that. Sure, He'd like you to do it a little more often, but mostly, He's just glad to see you. Tomorrow, I'm going to see some folks that I don't often call, don't often write, but they love me anyway. And I them. I think that's the sign of a true friendship.
I imagine that some of you reading this are thinking of a relationship, whether it be with God or a person, that you haven't talked to in a while. You haven't called. You haven't written. You meant to. Either way, today is the perfect day to take that small step and reach out. They're waiting for you.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
The business of answering prayers
Yesterday, I went to Heaven Fest. It was amazing.
I should point out that I basically went because a couple of bands that had some folks I know and love playing for them and I wanted to give them hugs. Yep. That's why I went. Had a whole number of circumstances that almost prevented me from going, but it all worked out.
Backing up... a couple days before, I was whining at God. I felt like none of my prayers were being answered, and I had to wonder what was going on. I prayed for a lot of silly little things relating to Heaven Fest. Some not so silly. But yesterday, it was like the floodgates opened up and God said, "See? I do listen to you. So chill out already."
First major prayer: Let me get there before Rush of Fools came on. They were one of the bands I really wanted to see. God said okey dokey. Timing was perfect.
Number two: I got there and was worried about our budget being tight because I'm getting ready to go on a trip and some money I was expecting hasn't come yet and would have to pull it out of savings to repay later. Not a big deal, but just irritating. I asked one of the volunteers where to buy tickets, and as I was walking to the ticket booth, a random lady says to me, "I have a ticket you can have. It was supposed to be for my friend, but she couldn't come." I took the ticket and she disappeared before I could give her anything for it. So, I ended up going for free.
Number three: I wanted to see and hug the Rush guys. Check.
Number four: I wanted to see Jonathan play with Skillet (and his schedule didn't say he was, but a friend told me he'd be there) and hug him. Got to see him play, but didn't see him to hug. Oh well. I'll see him next weekend with Todd and crew.
Number five: I felt really conspicuous being alone (hubby was at home working on the shed) and surrounded by crazed teenagers. I hate crowds, and it's worse if I have no one to talk to. There were 17,000 people and no one I knew was going. I'm not one of those people who becomes instant friends with strangers, so I sort of resigned myself to being alone. I walked over to an area where I thought I might see Jonathan, and ran into my old friend, Katrina. What a blessing! We did a Bible study years ago and are intermittently in touch. I also do her taxes. I spent the rest of the time with her and her family, who are such blessings to me. God really came through on that one, don't you think?
Number six: When I finally felt like eating, most of the food places sold out. I stood in a line for 1/2 hour only to get almost to the front and be told they were out of food. All the other lines were really long and also almost out of food. I ended up with an overcooked piece of cardboard cheese pizza, but I got to eat.
Number seven: I had to go to the bathroom really really bad. The portapotties had huge lines. I decided to take my chance on some on the other side of the festival, and hoped that I'd be able to get one in time. They were completely empty and I was just fine. Even though I hate portapotties.
Number eight: We all know I obsess over little, idiotic things. I forgot my water bottle. They fill them for free, but you needed to have something to fill or you had to drink from a dinky paper cup. So brilliant me decided I'd find a place to BUY a bottle of water and then I could refill it. Um, no. No one sold water. Finally, I said, okay, I just need something I can fill with water. Bought a bottle of Gatorade, drank it, and then I had a bottle to refill. I know, that all sounds lame, but in my mind, I made a HUGE deal of it, and God was like, "chill. I've so got you covered."
Number nine: During the main event, they did this thing where you were supposed to pray with the folks around you. I know, you all think I'm such an extrovert. I stood there, next to Katrina and her daughter, and was like, "okay, God, you know this is waaaay beyond my comfort zone. And I know it's beyond Katrina's, so can you help me out here?" Well, this kid, who couldn't have been more than 14 or 15, came up to us and asked if he could pray with us. He totally broke the ice and within seconds, we were all praying together.
Number ten: Remember, I came to see two bands? Well, after them, Jeremy Camp was playing. Not that there's anything wrong with Jeremy Camp, but frankly, if you've heard one of his songs, you've heard them all. Plus, I was just not in the mood to listen to a bunch of hormonal teenagers go on and on about how cute he is. He's married, girls. You know that. What you're thinking is called adultery.
But I digress. The main event thing sounded kind of cool, I mean, who can argue with worship and prayer? But I really didn't feel like sitting through to the very end and then have to fight with 17,000 people to get out of the parking lot and then drive a couple of miles down a dirt road with all the dust that was already making my allergies go nuts. Yeah. I had a bad attitude.
However, I missed the teenage Jeremy Camp frenzy because I was in the food line, and by the time the main event rolled around, I was having so much fun catching up with Katrina's daughters, I thought it might be nice to hang out in worship with them, since we haven't done that together in forever.
The main event was completely awesome. God really spoke to my heart and made me realize that even though I'm going through a grumpy phase, He's still listening. He still cares. There's still a lot of things I'm waiting on. Most of which have a lot more to do with relying on me and wanting my agenda pushed forward than anything remotely resembling what it means to worship and trust Him. Ooops.
God is totally in the business of answering prayers. From the littlest ones to the big ones, where I desperately need Him to show up. He's there. Sometimes it means getting over myself.
And even though I was fully prepared to face the parking lot mess after such a great time of worship, God even met me there and I didn't get caught in a lick of traffic.
I should point out that I basically went because a couple of bands that had some folks I know and love playing for them and I wanted to give them hugs. Yep. That's why I went. Had a whole number of circumstances that almost prevented me from going, but it all worked out.
Backing up... a couple days before, I was whining at God. I felt like none of my prayers were being answered, and I had to wonder what was going on. I prayed for a lot of silly little things relating to Heaven Fest. Some not so silly. But yesterday, it was like the floodgates opened up and God said, "See? I do listen to you. So chill out already."
First major prayer: Let me get there before Rush of Fools came on. They were one of the bands I really wanted to see. God said okey dokey. Timing was perfect.
Number two: I got there and was worried about our budget being tight because I'm getting ready to go on a trip and some money I was expecting hasn't come yet and would have to pull it out of savings to repay later. Not a big deal, but just irritating. I asked one of the volunteers where to buy tickets, and as I was walking to the ticket booth, a random lady says to me, "I have a ticket you can have. It was supposed to be for my friend, but she couldn't come." I took the ticket and she disappeared before I could give her anything for it. So, I ended up going for free.
Number three: I wanted to see and hug the Rush guys. Check.
Number four: I wanted to see Jonathan play with Skillet (and his schedule didn't say he was, but a friend told me he'd be there) and hug him. Got to see him play, but didn't see him to hug. Oh well. I'll see him next weekend with Todd and crew.
Number five: I felt really conspicuous being alone (hubby was at home working on the shed) and surrounded by crazed teenagers. I hate crowds, and it's worse if I have no one to talk to. There were 17,000 people and no one I knew was going. I'm not one of those people who becomes instant friends with strangers, so I sort of resigned myself to being alone. I walked over to an area where I thought I might see Jonathan, and ran into my old friend, Katrina. What a blessing! We did a Bible study years ago and are intermittently in touch. I also do her taxes. I spent the rest of the time with her and her family, who are such blessings to me. God really came through on that one, don't you think?
Number six: When I finally felt like eating, most of the food places sold out. I stood in a line for 1/2 hour only to get almost to the front and be told they were out of food. All the other lines were really long and also almost out of food. I ended up with an overcooked piece of cardboard cheese pizza, but I got to eat.
Number seven: I had to go to the bathroom really really bad. The portapotties had huge lines. I decided to take my chance on some on the other side of the festival, and hoped that I'd be able to get one in time. They were completely empty and I was just fine. Even though I hate portapotties.
Number eight: We all know I obsess over little, idiotic things. I forgot my water bottle. They fill them for free, but you needed to have something to fill or you had to drink from a dinky paper cup. So brilliant me decided I'd find a place to BUY a bottle of water and then I could refill it. Um, no. No one sold water. Finally, I said, okay, I just need something I can fill with water. Bought a bottle of Gatorade, drank it, and then I had a bottle to refill. I know, that all sounds lame, but in my mind, I made a HUGE deal of it, and God was like, "chill. I've so got you covered."
Number nine: During the main event, they did this thing where you were supposed to pray with the folks around you. I know, you all think I'm such an extrovert. I stood there, next to Katrina and her daughter, and was like, "okay, God, you know this is waaaay beyond my comfort zone. And I know it's beyond Katrina's, so can you help me out here?" Well, this kid, who couldn't have been more than 14 or 15, came up to us and asked if he could pray with us. He totally broke the ice and within seconds, we were all praying together.
Number ten: Remember, I came to see two bands? Well, after them, Jeremy Camp was playing. Not that there's anything wrong with Jeremy Camp, but frankly, if you've heard one of his songs, you've heard them all. Plus, I was just not in the mood to listen to a bunch of hormonal teenagers go on and on about how cute he is. He's married, girls. You know that. What you're thinking is called adultery.
But I digress. The main event thing sounded kind of cool, I mean, who can argue with worship and prayer? But I really didn't feel like sitting through to the very end and then have to fight with 17,000 people to get out of the parking lot and then drive a couple of miles down a dirt road with all the dust that was already making my allergies go nuts. Yeah. I had a bad attitude.
However, I missed the teenage Jeremy Camp frenzy because I was in the food line, and by the time the main event rolled around, I was having so much fun catching up with Katrina's daughters, I thought it might be nice to hang out in worship with them, since we haven't done that together in forever.
The main event was completely awesome. God really spoke to my heart and made me realize that even though I'm going through a grumpy phase, He's still listening. He still cares. There's still a lot of things I'm waiting on. Most of which have a lot more to do with relying on me and wanting my agenda pushed forward than anything remotely resembling what it means to worship and trust Him. Ooops.
God is totally in the business of answering prayers. From the littlest ones to the big ones, where I desperately need Him to show up. He's there. Sometimes it means getting over myself.
And even though I was fully prepared to face the parking lot mess after such a great time of worship, God even met me there and I didn't get caught in a lick of traffic.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Mamma Mia!
My girlfriends and I went to see it last night, and I'm having a hard time deciding if I like it or not. Before you read further, you need to know that there's lots of spoilers.
The good: I loved the friendship storyline of both sets of women. I hope that twenty years from now, I've got some friends like that who know everything about me, love me, and can lighten my load with the laughter we've shared for a lifetime.
The bad: We know I love romance. It was sweet that mom got her man. Not so sweet that the daughter decided to run off with the guy and not get married. With each new movie, I'm getting more frustrated with the lack of respect for marriage. I'm tired of people shacking up. Why do we keep glorifying behavior that utterly lacks glory? That gripe aside, both romances lacked solid motivation. I didn't find myself terribly emotionally invested in either, except that I love romance and demand to see it go through a satisfying process.
The ugly: Most of the singing was atrocious at best. I can't believe the guys from ABBA were in charge of this project and were okay with the slaughtering of their music. As I told my friend Diane (who groaned with me through the movie), my life would have been complete without ever hearing Pierce Brosnan sing. Whatever happened to dubbing over the actors' voices with people who can sing?
Did I like the movie? I dunno. Will I see it again? Not sure. However, it does make me want to see the stage production. I think it would be much better on stage.
The good: I loved the friendship storyline of both sets of women. I hope that twenty years from now, I've got some friends like that who know everything about me, love me, and can lighten my load with the laughter we've shared for a lifetime.
The bad: We know I love romance. It was sweet that mom got her man. Not so sweet that the daughter decided to run off with the guy and not get married. With each new movie, I'm getting more frustrated with the lack of respect for marriage. I'm tired of people shacking up. Why do we keep glorifying behavior that utterly lacks glory? That gripe aside, both romances lacked solid motivation. I didn't find myself terribly emotionally invested in either, except that I love romance and demand to see it go through a satisfying process.
The ugly: Most of the singing was atrocious at best. I can't believe the guys from ABBA were in charge of this project and were okay with the slaughtering of their music. As I told my friend Diane (who groaned with me through the movie), my life would have been complete without ever hearing Pierce Brosnan sing. Whatever happened to dubbing over the actors' voices with people who can sing?
Did I like the movie? I dunno. Will I see it again? Not sure. However, it does make me want to see the stage production. I think it would be much better on stage.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Thursday Thirteen #55: My least favorite things
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I'm stealing this idea from my friend Kay, who did this last week. She wasn't going to get gross, but I am. 1. Least favorite color - white. It's too boring. 2. Least favorite smell - Vomit. 3. Least favorite sound - My kids fighting. 4. Least favorite movie (that I've seen) - The slums of Beverly Hills. I need to do something happy now to get that horrible thought out of my mind. 5. Least favorite TV show (that I've seen)- MASH. 6. Least favorite indoor chore - Cleaning Toilets. 7. Least favorite outdoor chore - Picking up dog poo. 8. Least favorite song - Anything Jonas brothers. 9. Least favorite food - Liver 10. Least favorite drink - Beer 11. Least favorite tactile feeling - water on my face 12. Least favorite emotion - Irritable 13. Least favorite place - I respectfully decline to answer that question. Instead, I'll tell you that my least favorite grammatical error is when people use an apostrophe s to make a plural. It's infuriating to see them in print. |
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Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Meme Time!
Since all my buds are doing this... if you haven't done it, you should!
1. What is your occupation? *insert hysterical laughter* writer, hostess with the mostess, curator, tax pro, tax instructor, mommy, wife, sex goddess.
2. What color are your socks right now? Not wearing any
3. What are you listening to right now? Deadliest catch.
4. What was the last thing that you ate? chicken and shrimp carbonara from olive garden.
5. Can you drive a stick shift? Yes
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Black, because it's the fastest to turn into a nub and I feel like a nub right now.
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? That Man.
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Well no one sent it to me, but I love all the gals I copied it from.
9. Favorite drink? Tea.
10. What is your favorite sport to watch? Must I?
11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Never.
12. Pets? A dog and I suppose I should count my daughter's fish that I have absolutely nothing to do with.
13. Favorite food? seafood
14. Last movie you watched? August Rush (GREAT movie!)
15. Favorite Day of the year? The day we change back our clocks to get an extra hour in the day.
16. What do you do to vent anger? Kill people. Fictionally speaking, of course.
17. What was your favorite toy as a child? My doll, Bethany. I still have her, except my kiddos decapitated her. I need to get her fixed.
18. What is your favorite season? Spring.
19. Hugs or kisses? Hugs
20. Cherry or blueberry? Cherry
21. Do you want your friends to email you back? Of course!
22. What are you reading? Nothing at the moment. Trying to decide what's next.
23. What is on the floor of your closet? Shoes. Boxes of hangers.
24. Favorite smells? The air after the rain.
25. Who inspires you? Depends on my mood.
26. What are you afraid of? Just about everything.
27. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? Cheese
28. Favorite car? One that runs well, doesn't use a lot of gas, and isn't full of kid junk.
29. Favorite cat breed? The hairless ones. I bet they won't make me sneeze.
30. Number of keys on your key ring? 8
31. How many years at your current job? which one? Ranges from 5 years to 2 months.
32. Favorite day of the week? Wednesday.
33. How many states have you lived in? 3
34. Do you think you're funny? Yes, but no one else does.
35. New Year's resolution? I don't remember
36. Favorite vacation? Going into the mountains.
37. Dream Vacation? World tour with enough time to see everything I want.
1. What is your occupation? *insert hysterical laughter* writer, hostess with the mostess, curator, tax pro, tax instructor, mommy, wife, sex goddess.
2. What color are your socks right now? Not wearing any
3. What are you listening to right now? Deadliest catch.
4. What was the last thing that you ate? chicken and shrimp carbonara from olive garden.
5. Can you drive a stick shift? Yes
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Black, because it's the fastest to turn into a nub and I feel like a nub right now.
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? That Man.
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Well no one sent it to me, but I love all the gals I copied it from.
9. Favorite drink? Tea.
10. What is your favorite sport to watch? Must I?
11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Never.
12. Pets? A dog and I suppose I should count my daughter's fish that I have absolutely nothing to do with.
13. Favorite food? seafood
14. Last movie you watched? August Rush (GREAT movie!)
15. Favorite Day of the year? The day we change back our clocks to get an extra hour in the day.
16. What do you do to vent anger? Kill people. Fictionally speaking, of course.
17. What was your favorite toy as a child? My doll, Bethany. I still have her, except my kiddos decapitated her. I need to get her fixed.
18. What is your favorite season? Spring.
19. Hugs or kisses? Hugs
20. Cherry or blueberry? Cherry
21. Do you want your friends to email you back? Of course!
22. What are you reading? Nothing at the moment. Trying to decide what's next.
23. What is on the floor of your closet? Shoes. Boxes of hangers.
24. Favorite smells? The air after the rain.
25. Who inspires you? Depends on my mood.
26. What are you afraid of? Just about everything.
27. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? Cheese
28. Favorite car? One that runs well, doesn't use a lot of gas, and isn't full of kid junk.
29. Favorite cat breed? The hairless ones. I bet they won't make me sneeze.
30. Number of keys on your key ring? 8
31. How many years at your current job? which one? Ranges from 5 years to 2 months.
32. Favorite day of the week? Wednesday.
33. How many states have you lived in? 3
34. Do you think you're funny? Yes, but no one else does.
35. New Year's resolution? I don't remember
36. Favorite vacation? Going into the mountains.
37. Dream Vacation? World tour with enough time to see everything I want.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.......
The sleepy girl in the corner? That'd be me.
Today, I had a wonderful retreat at the Broadmoor with my Words for the Journey friends. You can see a slideshow of pics here.
We had a faboo time. And yes, I got some work done. Sorta. The plan was to finish edits on book #2, and the truth is, I'm stuck stuck stuck. Believe it or not, I'm short on word count, and I can't think of anything to add. I got a little more done, so I guess I'll send it out to crit and be done with the thing. Which means I can finish writing #3 in good conscience now, right?
The trouble is, to get kiddo to daycare to meet Kay and Robbie to drive down there to be on time, I had to get up at 6 a.m. For those of you unfamiliar with my morning routine, allow me to explain a little quirk of my personality.
I'm generally not even awake until about 9, although during the school year, I move it down to 8, since kiddo has to be at school at 9. Because I'm not a morning person, I need at least an hour to wake up and be human, which translates to: Don't speak to me before 10. That Man, to his credit, tiptoed around me all morning and did not say a word. Which is why he's still alive.
The point of this is... to a sweet gal like me, getting up at 6 a.m. is an absolutely barbaric practice. How do you early birds live with yourselves? More to the point, how do others survive around you with their heads intact?
Some of you are asking... why don't you go to bed now, Miss Grumpy Pants? I'll tell you why. I have a hard time falling asleep before midnight. So the universe is going to have to put up with me being grumpy and tired for another two hours.
I called my bro, aka my web guru, since he was nagging me about working on my website. Huh. Isn't that what I'm not paying him for? We worked through a couple of issues I was having and I finally got the thing he wanted me to do fixed. Rocket scientists make it sound soooo easy. It's not.
But I'm plugging away. And maybe tomorrow, I'll find something I'm satisfied with. Fortunately, boss-man is busy all day, so I can play some more and maybe even get a little writing time in.
Wow. I really do sound grumpy. May you all have pleasant dreams and I'll talk to you soon.
Today, I had a wonderful retreat at the Broadmoor with my Words for the Journey friends. You can see a slideshow of pics here.
We had a faboo time. And yes, I got some work done. Sorta. The plan was to finish edits on book #2, and the truth is, I'm stuck stuck stuck. Believe it or not, I'm short on word count, and I can't think of anything to add. I got a little more done, so I guess I'll send it out to crit and be done with the thing. Which means I can finish writing #3 in good conscience now, right?
The trouble is, to get kiddo to daycare to meet Kay and Robbie to drive down there to be on time, I had to get up at 6 a.m. For those of you unfamiliar with my morning routine, allow me to explain a little quirk of my personality.
I'm generally not even awake until about 9, although during the school year, I move it down to 8, since kiddo has to be at school at 9. Because I'm not a morning person, I need at least an hour to wake up and be human, which translates to: Don't speak to me before 10. That Man, to his credit, tiptoed around me all morning and did not say a word. Which is why he's still alive.
The point of this is... to a sweet gal like me, getting up at 6 a.m. is an absolutely barbaric practice. How do you early birds live with yourselves? More to the point, how do others survive around you with their heads intact?
Some of you are asking... why don't you go to bed now, Miss Grumpy Pants? I'll tell you why. I have a hard time falling asleep before midnight. So the universe is going to have to put up with me being grumpy and tired for another two hours.
I called my bro, aka my web guru, since he was nagging me about working on my website. Huh. Isn't that what I'm not paying him for? We worked through a couple of issues I was having and I finally got the thing he wanted me to do fixed. Rocket scientists make it sound soooo easy. It's not.
But I'm plugging away. And maybe tomorrow, I'll find something I'm satisfied with. Fortunately, boss-man is busy all day, so I can play some more and maybe even get a little writing time in.
Wow. I really do sound grumpy. May you all have pleasant dreams and I'll talk to you soon.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Car shows and the Coolness Factor.
Tonight I needed a little "me time" and took a drive to one of my favorite mountain places. On the way, I stopped off at Sonic for a cherry limeade. YUM! I don't know what the Sonics elsewhere do, but ours always has these car show things. Tonight's was a bit... strange.
I pull into Sonic to find... a row of Mazdas. Not the fancy sports car ones (do they even make sports cars?), but these dinky little putt-putt things. And I'm telling you, these guys had the hoods proudly propped open like they were some sort of souped up engine thingamajig. I know, I'm so technical. I'm a GIRL. And I'm not Danica Patrick, so just stop it already.
The next row of cars, proudly on display by their owners, was a bunch of volkswagon jettas and passats. Um... okay. Then they had rows of beamers, mustangs (new ones only), and Hyundais. Yes. Hyundais. I may know nothing about cars, but I know enough to know they do not pass the coolness factor.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not mocking these guys and their pride in their automobiles. Okay, maybe I am a little, since they were all nerdmobiles with the exception of the mustangs and maybe the BMWs. It's pretty cool that these guys were obviously extremely proud of their cars. I guess it's no longer cool to dig one out of the junkyard, put some hard work and muscle into it, and show it off. Nope. You just drive it off the dealer's lot, and there ya go: instant coolness. Or something like that. And yes, a couple of them still had the dealer tags, so you know that's exactly what happened.
Instant coolness. Huh. I wonder if they have minivan conventions like that? Sure, my paint is um, well, lacking in luster these days, but hey, if they had a contest like, "what's the grossest thing under the seat," I'm sure I'd win, hands-down. The last time I vacuumed out the back, it was so gross I had to sweet talk That Man into doing it for. I still don't know what those kids spilled in there.
I guess it all boils down to the fact that we all think we need something to make us feel cool. Society's so good at putting labels on us that sometimes I wonder if we end up going to an awful lot of trouble making up contests for ourselves so we have a "win" we can boast about. But I have to wonder... are we clinging to something that will mean something in the end?
I've been a little depressed lately because I've been hoping to have a particular label, a certain "coolness" item, and it looks like yet again, I'm going to be denied. A couple of my close friends have been with me on this portion of the journey, and I've been whining to them about it. And they pat me on the head, say it's okay, someday... and I say, yeah I know. But you know I don't.
Then God, in His infinite ability to "get" me, smacked me on the head and said, "So what do you want? To glorify me? Or to get your little "I'm so cool" sticker?" Um, obviously a trick question. Or not. But I'm slow sometimes.
Last night, I spent just over an hour on the phone with one of those friends, and I finally admitted to the truth. The truth is, the work God is doing in me will happen. Maybe not on my timetable. Maybe not in the way I'd like it to. But it WILL happen.
Tonight, when I saw the guys in the geek mobiles, I thought about that need for recognition. How, for a few whiny moments, I lost sight of the fact that I was supposed to be doing this for God. And it makes me wonder, how many other things are in my life that end up being my geek mobile at the car show?
I pull into Sonic to find... a row of Mazdas. Not the fancy sports car ones (do they even make sports cars?), but these dinky little putt-putt things. And I'm telling you, these guys had the hoods proudly propped open like they were some sort of souped up engine thingamajig. I know, I'm so technical. I'm a GIRL. And I'm not Danica Patrick, so just stop it already.
The next row of cars, proudly on display by their owners, was a bunch of volkswagon jettas and passats. Um... okay. Then they had rows of beamers, mustangs (new ones only), and Hyundais. Yes. Hyundais. I may know nothing about cars, but I know enough to know they do not pass the coolness factor.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not mocking these guys and their pride in their automobiles. Okay, maybe I am a little, since they were all nerdmobiles with the exception of the mustangs and maybe the BMWs. It's pretty cool that these guys were obviously extremely proud of their cars. I guess it's no longer cool to dig one out of the junkyard, put some hard work and muscle into it, and show it off. Nope. You just drive it off the dealer's lot, and there ya go: instant coolness. Or something like that. And yes, a couple of them still had the dealer tags, so you know that's exactly what happened.
Instant coolness. Huh. I wonder if they have minivan conventions like that? Sure, my paint is um, well, lacking in luster these days, but hey, if they had a contest like, "what's the grossest thing under the seat," I'm sure I'd win, hands-down. The last time I vacuumed out the back, it was so gross I had to sweet talk That Man into doing it for. I still don't know what those kids spilled in there.
I guess it all boils down to the fact that we all think we need something to make us feel cool. Society's so good at putting labels on us that sometimes I wonder if we end up going to an awful lot of trouble making up contests for ourselves so we have a "win" we can boast about. But I have to wonder... are we clinging to something that will mean something in the end?
I've been a little depressed lately because I've been hoping to have a particular label, a certain "coolness" item, and it looks like yet again, I'm going to be denied. A couple of my close friends have been with me on this portion of the journey, and I've been whining to them about it. And they pat me on the head, say it's okay, someday... and I say, yeah I know. But you know I don't.
Then God, in His infinite ability to "get" me, smacked me on the head and said, "So what do you want? To glorify me? Or to get your little "I'm so cool" sticker?" Um, obviously a trick question. Or not. But I'm slow sometimes.
Last night, I spent just over an hour on the phone with one of those friends, and I finally admitted to the truth. The truth is, the work God is doing in me will happen. Maybe not on my timetable. Maybe not in the way I'd like it to. But it WILL happen.
Tonight, when I saw the guys in the geek mobiles, I thought about that need for recognition. How, for a few whiny moments, I lost sight of the fact that I was supposed to be doing this for God. And it makes me wonder, how many other things are in my life that end up being my geek mobile at the car show?
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