Is Rob Bell really my enemy?

Some of my friends may be convinced I'm going to hell for saying this. But as I see the new flurry over Rob Bell, a controversial pastor who has now endorsed gay marriage, I find myself in a weird place. It bothers me less that Rob Bell has come out in favor of gay marriage than do people's responses to it. I am appalled at the mean, hateful posts people are putting out there because of his opinion. Okay, I get it. He's a popular teacher who's written a lot of books. Our church used to watch a lot of his videos. Then he started saying things people thought were controversial, and now people treat him like he's a tool of the devil.

I should confess that I haven't read his books. I have a couple I've been meaning to read, but that's the story of half the books I own. I've watched some of his Nooma videos. I've read articles about him and I've heard people ripping him to shreds over his opinions. Many of those people haven't read his books either.

Why do we feel like we're experts on the spirituality of a man we don't know?

More importantly, why do we feel it's our right to lash out in angry judgment because we don't agree with what he's said? Why are our responses full of hate?

I think I would respect the people who disagree with Rob Bell more if they said, "Whoa. Rob, I love you man, but I think you're wrong on this one, and here's why." Why don't we do that- to Rob- and to anyone else who challenges our tightly held theological beliefs?

Regardless of whether or not his position is right, Rob is a child of God whose sins Jesus died for just as much as anyone else's. Some people may be in shock over this, but Jesus died for Republicans and Democrats alike. He even died for those who don't affiliate themselves with a political party. He died for people we don't agree with. He died for people we don't like. He died for the people who are mean to us.

I even believe that Jesus had the audacity to die for Rob Bell. He loves Rob. He loves Rob when he's wrong. He loves Rob when he's right. Someday, when Jesus and Rob sit face to face, they're probably going to talk about those things. As much as I want to say I know how that conversation will go, I don't. None of us do.

But here's the conversation I will be a part of, and how I imagine it going:

Him: "Danica, you messed up on a lot of things."
Me: "Yes, Lord, I know."
Him: "When I said X, did you really think I meant Y?"
Me: "Uh... sorry?"
Him: "I forgive you."
Me: "Thanks."
Him: "Now let's talk about what you did right."
Me: "Sweet."
Him: "Thanks for loving the least of my children."
Me: "Uh... you're welcome? Who were they?"

The trouble is, I don't know who "they" are. I have a really hard time loving my enemies. I have a hard time thinking charitably toward people I consider crackheads (the bad kind, of course). I am not always nice to people I should be nice to. I call people bad names in traffic. I yell at my kids. I snap at people when I'm tired or stressed or irritated. I say mean things mostly without intending to, but sometimes I'm just being mean. So I know I don't always do it right. I probably mess up more than I succeed.

That said, I try really hard not to publicly tear someone down. As a Christian, it's not my job to post a million blogs about the people I think are going to hell. Nor is it my job to let the world know who I think is sinning. There's enough sin in my own life, thanks. If you love the sinner but hate the sin, I don't think it means attacking that person- verbally, Tweetally, or otherwise.

If you posted something bad about Rob Bell, please know this isn't personally directed at you. I saw at least 50+ posts that made my heart hurt. I know you're trying to spread the truth the best you can. But I implore you, please take a moment to ask God to share his love for Rob with you. Maybe you aren't posting mean things about Rob. Maybe your hot button is one of the other many controversial issues floating out there. Will you think about how your words can reflect love instead of hate?

Rob Bell is not my enemy. People who attack Rob Bell are not my enemy. My enemy is hate. And as much as it makes my heart hurt to see the hate floating around cyberspace, I'm trying to do my very best to respond in love.

Will you join me?

 

How do we give our kids value?

The princess and I had a weird conversation the other day. She was convinced that some day, when she grew up, I was going to forget about her. "I will never forget about you," I told her with confidence. "Yes you will. You're going to see me on the street someday and you won't know who I am." Nothing I said would convince her otherwise. I finally hugged her tight and told her that she was too precious to me to forget. At the core of my daughter's questions, though, was the question we all ask. Am I significant?

I started a new Bible study at our church based on the book, Counterfeit Gods by Timothy Keller. So far, we've only discussed the introduction, but I have to say, even that small bit is changing my life. Keller's main point is that we set up idols for ourselves by allowing things to take the place of God's significance in our lives. It's making me realize how easy it is to take the focus off God and replace Him with something else.

One of the prominent thoughts in parenting today is giving our kids good self esteem. All of the books and schools tell us how we should praise our children and make sure they know they're loved. There are so many techniques for helping our children grow a healthy self esteem. But everything I've learned is missing one component. Where does our kids' value come from?

Is it because I say they are? Or because they are good in school? Or because they're such nice kids? Well, all of those are true. They are good in school (sometimes) and they are nice kids (sometimes). And I happen to think that they're pretty great. But that isn't why my kids are valuable. They are valuable because God says they are. That's it. There is nothing they can do to make themselves any more or less valuable.

The problem is that as parents, we tend to only give them value based on our authority. "You're valuable because I say you are." To a point, we need to do that. But we also can't neglect the idea that our authority is nothing to God's. God's authority is the ultimate authority, and we also have to remind our children of their value in God's creation. I know so many adults, myself included, who don't have the proper self esteem because they didn't learn as children their value in Christ.

As I denied that I would ever forget my daughter, I started thinking of reasons I would forget her- like a traumatic brain injury or Alzheimer's, or some other terrible thing. I didn't mention them to her, but as I started worrying, I thought, great, now I'll be a liar and that will really devastate her.  That's the trouble with placing the hope in a person... there's always the chance you'll be let down. But see, God isn't going to get a traumatic brain injury or Alzheimer's or have any other reason to forget us. God will always be there.

So I'm going to be more intentional about reminding my kids that even if I fail, and let's face it, I will, some way or another, God won't. Even if they fail, God isn't going to love them any less.

How do you remind your kids of their value in God's eyes?

The Unseen Lent

When I first looked at the idea of Lent this year, I really struggled with wanting to do something, yet not wanting to feel hypocritical about it. I had a lot of friends on my blog, Twitter, and FB share their thoughts and ideas. It was so helpful to hear all of the different perspectives.

Then, on Ash Wednesday, I went to a new church, and the reading was exactly what I needed to hear.

Matthew 6:1-6

Showy Religion
1 “Be careful that you don’t practice your religion in front of people to draw their attention. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.  2 “Whenever you give to the poor, don’t blow your trumpet as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets so that they may get praise from people. I assure you, that’s the only reward they’ll get. 3 But when you give to the poor, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing 4 so that you may give to the poor in secret. Your Father who sees what you do in secret will reward you.

Showy Prayer
 5 “When you pray, don’t be like hypocrites. They love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners so that people will see them. I assure you, that’s the only reward they’ll get. 6 But when you pray, go to your room, shut the door, and pray to your Father who is present in that secret place. Your Father who sees what you do in secret will reward you.

I took this from the Common English Bible, and I love the headings of "Showy Prayer" and "Showy Religion." Because I think that's the part that was really bothering me about the whole Lent thing. I'm kind of fed up with the Christians who are out there sounding their trumpets about how great they are that the works of Christ are almost invisible to anyone watching.

So I chose a secret Lent project. Interestingly enough, a comment from one of my nonbeliever friends about Lent got me thinking about how I wanted to honor God in this time, and I'm doing something based on this person's advice. I did end up telling hubby my project, because I needed his help on something, and it's been great to conspire with him to do what I'm doing in secret. In some ways, I feel closer to my husband than ever, because I have this wonderful secret that I share with him, and him only. Some days, I think that I will tell people about it when I'm done, because I truly believe that this thing is transforming my heart in unexpected ways. I want to share it with people who might be able to use it in their own lives. And other days, I am so full of the joy of having this beautiful thing that I share only with my husband and God, and am so mindful of the warnings in Matthew 6, that I don't want to lose it.

For now, I want to encourage you to find a glorious secret- something that is wonderful and brings joy to your heart- to share with God and God alone. Or, like me, with your spouse. While I believe that sharing your faith can be a very good thing, there is something very magical about reserving a private place in your heart just for God.

**

Do you want to win a copy of the leather-like Thinline Bible DecoTone Tan/Brick Red edition of the Common English Bible? I'm participating in a blog tour promoting this new translation, and I will be giving away a copy each week through Pentecost. Just comment on my posts featuring the CEB, and you'll be entered in that week's drawing. Unfortunately, people outside the US are not eligible to win.

The Unseen Lent

When I first looked at the idea of Lent this year, I really struggled with wanting to do something, yet not wanting to feel hypocritical about it. I had a lot of friends on my blog, Twitter, and FB share their thoughts and ideas. It was so helpful to hear all of the different perspectives.

Then, on Ash Wednesday, I went to a new church, and the reading was exactly what I needed to hear.

Matthew 6:1-6

Showy Religion
1 “Be careful that you don’t practice your religion in front of people to draw their attention. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.  2 “Whenever you give to the poor, don’t blow your trumpet as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets so that they may get praise from people. I assure you, that’s the only reward they’ll get. 3 But when you give to the poor, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing 4 so that you may give to the poor in secret. Your Father who sees what you do in secret will reward you.

Showy Prayer
 5 “When you pray, don’t be like hypocrites. They love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners so that people will see them. I assure you, that’s the only reward they’ll get. 6 But when you pray, go to your room, shut the door, and pray to your Father who is present in that secret place. Your Father who sees what you do in secret will reward you.

I took this from the Common English Bible, and I love the headings of "Showy Prayer" and "Showy Religion." Because I think that's the part that was really bothering me about the whole Lent thing. I'm kind of fed up with the Christians who are out there sounding their trumpets about how great they are that the works of Christ are almost invisible to anyone watching.

So I chose a secret Lent project. Interestingly enough, a comment from one of my nonbeliever friends about Lent got me thinking about how I wanted to honor God in this time, and I'm doing something based on this person's advice. I did end up telling hubby my project, because I needed his help on something, and it's been great to conspire with him to do what I'm doing in secret. In some ways, I feel closer to my husband than ever, because I have this wonderful secret that I share with him, and him only. Some days, I think that I will tell people about it when I'm done, because I truly believe that this thing is transforming my heart in unexpected ways. I want to share it with people who might be able to use it in their own lives. And other days, I am so full of the joy of having this beautiful thing that I share only with my husband and God, and am so mindful of the warnings in Matthew 6, that I don't want to lose it.

For now, I want to encourage you to find a glorious secret- something that is wonderful and brings joy to your heart- to share with God and God alone. Or, like me, with your spouse. While I believe that sharing your faith can be a very good thing, there is something very magical about reserving a private place in your heart just for God.

**

Do you want to win a copy of the leather-like Thinline Bible DecoTone Tan/Brick Red edition of the Common English Bible? I'm participating in a blog tour promoting this new translation, and I will be giving away a copy each week through Pentecost. Just comment on my posts featuring the CEB, and you'll be entered in that week's drawing. Unfortunately, people outside the US are not eligible to win.