The simplified process to achieving your dreams

I had lunch with a friend last week, and she asked me about the process it took for me on this journey to my dreams. And while there is a lot to the process, I wanted to share the basics, because the truth is, achieving your dreams is a LOT easier than you think.

WHAT??

It's easy?

Believe it or not, your dreams are often closer than they appear. 

When we decided to embark on the dream house process, almost a year ago, I told my husband I thought it would take 2-3 years. He wanted to shorten the time, and I was like, okay, go for it. We still thought we'd be about a year out. But then, as I started researching the possibilities, the spark of what we could do kept coming alive, and before we knew it, we were living in our dream house. What started as a "maybe we can do it in 2-3 years" only took six months! Here is what it took:

Step one: Dream
That sounds really basic, but a lot of people are afraid to take a look at what they want in life, because they're afraid they won't get it. They're afraid they might be dreaming too big. Here's the crazy thing: oftentimes, what seems like a HUGE dream is completely do-able, if you're willing to make the effort.

Step two: Research the Dream
Now this also sounds basic, but it's amazing to me to see how many "impossible" dreams were actually possible with little to no effort. For example, last year, we went on our dream vacation to England. We'd wanted to go for years, but thought there was no way we could do it. When we were planning a trip, we had a few locations in mind, and for curiosity's sake, I looked up how much flights to England were. Whoa!! Yes, it was expensive, but as I looked at our budget and what we wanted to do, I realized that it cost almost the same as another trip we'd been looking at. What seemed to be impossible actually was closer than I thought.

Step three: Focus on the Dream
How often do you focus on your dreams? I have a dream notebook I look at every day, reminding me of my dream, and allowing me to clarify what I want out of life. In that notebook, I have several letters to myself, where I talk about my vision, written in the future tense, expressing gratitude for having reached those goals. I read those letters to myself every day, not only reminding myself of the dream itself, but also of the why.

Here is a video I did today on Periscope showing my dream notebook.



Step four: Plan the Dream
You've researched, you've focused, but you also need to come up with a plan. For example, how much does your dream cost? Have you broken down how much extra money you'd need to make that dream come true? Have you created a plan for how you'll come up with that money? What if all you needed was an extra $50 per month? Or just one hour per week? I'm always amazed at how, when you break down the dream, and start making a plan, how much more do-able it is.

Step five: Move in the direction of the Dream
Sometimes the cost of the dream is more than anything you can see. My ultimate dream, when it comes to my writing retreat, is that I would have a retreat center in the mountains, where people could come and be refreshed. I figure that building the retreat center I want is going to cost at least a million dollars. Sounds pretty hard, right? But I am starting small, and I'm hosting a retreat at a hotel as a first step. Then I'll host more retreats, and find even cooler places to go. And with each step, I'm building a foundation to create a retreat center that it going to nourish so many people. Yes, it's going to be work. And no, it won't happen tomorrow. But it's going to happen, and it's going to be wonderful. Even though it's still a long way off, it's a lot closer than it was when I sat around, talking about how cool it would be with no real movement in that direction.

What's your dream? Have you thought about how you're going to reach it?

Turning 40 isn't the end of the world!

Even the lichen was excited about my birthday!

Over the weekend, I celebrated my 40th birthday. As I've mentioned to people that I'm hitting the big 4-0, it's been interesting to see their responses. Most people think that I'm depressed over this milestone birthday, and they offer all of this encouraging wisdom about age being just a number, etc. But here's the thing: I'm not depressed! To me, it's just a cool milestone number, and I want to celebrate.

For me, the road to 40 has been long and hard. But I've learned a lot of great lessons as I've taken that road, and I'm excited to use that knowledge as I continue life's journey. I spent my birthday doing a lot of great things to take care of myself, and one of those things was that I took a hike. I'd hoped to do a longer, more significant hike, but I slept in instead. My body needed that sleep, so I'm not complaining. I had a lovely day.

I recorded a video on my hike, reflecting on those lessons. The biggest lesson I learned, and the one I want most to share with you, is that no matter what your dream is, it's not too late to go for it. We have a lot of reasons excuses why we don't go for it, but you know, there will never be the perfect time, the perfect opportunity. Life is always going to get in the way, which is why, if there is a dream on your heart, then you need to take the steps toward that dream.

Turning 40 isn't the end of the world. But let's be honest. There are ages at which some of our goals become less and less possible. If I really wanted to become an Iron Woman Ultra Marathon Whatever, I could probably still do it at 40. Just so you know I haven't totally lost my mind, that is not one of my goals. :) There will be an age at which it isn't possible. And here is where I sit at 40: I do not want the possibility to remain dormant inside me. All the things I've been wanting to do with my life- I'm doing them. Maybe not at the level I'd like to be doing them, but I'm taking the steps, even if they're just baby steps.

So that's my encouragement for you: Whatever it is that you want to be doing with your life, whatever goals you have that you haven't reached, move in that direction. God put those dreams inside you for a reason. Don't look back with the regret of never having tried.

And if you want help reaching your dreams, I'd love for you to attend my retreat, Nourishing the Writer's Spirit. We're going to be spending a lot of time looking at nourishing ourselves so that we can follow our dreams. 

Good intentions gone wrong, and it's okay!

Happy August! In case you're comparing dates between posts, then yes, it HAS been a long time since I've posted, and that's okay! In fact, "it's okay," is the theme of today's blog, and I write mostly to comfort those of you in the same position I'm in. You had a lot of really good intentions, they didn't pan out, and now you're looking at where you'd hoped to be wondering how you got so far off track.

If you don't follow me on social media, let me catch you up. What? You don't follow me on social media? Please, rectify the situation as soon as possible.

Here are a few happy places to find me:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/danicafavorite
Instagram: https://instagram.com/danicafavorite/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DanicaFavoriteAuthor

  

Oh wait, I just got sidetracked! And that, my friends, is exactly what 2015 has held for me. Sort of. You see, a year ago, I had the grandiose idea that since we've always dreamed of living in the mountains, we should start taking the steps to living that dream. I had plans for 2015, and none of them involved selling our house, buying a fixer upper in the mountains, moving, and living in an incredibly beautiful space in a tiny house! That, my friends, was supposed to happen in 2016 or 2017. Now, before you think I am complaining, let me assure you that I am incredibly happy with our situation. But so many of my other plans, they did not happen, and that's okay!

I had a lot of really great intentions with this move, and prior to the move, and they all kind of went by the wayside. To be honest, I've really been beating myself up over my failure to do EVERYTHING I'd planned. I thought about giving you a list, but then I realized it would only serve to bring up my stress meter. What I realized is that be thinking about everything I didn't do, I was paralyzing myself from doing all the things I can do, right now!

And that's the relevant point today. I think we all go through seasons of paralysis because we realized that we bit off more than we can chew, and we have no idea how to get back to normal. I watched my plate get bigger and bigger, and kept wondering how I was going to eat it all. But here's the great thing about your plate of life. It's YOUR plate. You get to decide what's on it, and if you put too much on it, you can empty it off. In my case, I decided that the date of January 1, 2015 is a completely arbitrary (although somewhat convenient) way of determining what will and won't happen in our lives. So I hit the reset button. And now, I'm saying that all the things I intended to do, it's okay that I didn't do *cough* many of them.

But here's what happens AFTER you hit the reset button. You sit down and think about your priorities. Moving forward, what do you want to do? It doesn't matter what you didn't accomplish. What matters is, looking at tomorrow, what can you accomplish?

So here I am, blogging about stuff I didn't intend to blog about, because it was never on the plan. But you know, it's okay. My plan changed this year. And I lovingly accept that in myself. I hope, that whatever plan you got off track from, that you can lovingly say, "it's okay." Because it is.

I did a piece in my art journal today, and I started with one intention, but it became something else. Interesting, since that seems to be the theme of my life. The funny thing is, I love what I did in my art journal far more than what I'd originally planned. Sometimes, letting go and accepting where life takes you instead of drowning in disappointment can bring you to a beautiful place.

How have you dealt with being sidetracked in life? Is there one thing you can do right now to get back on track?

When a door closes on your dreams

I've been working hard to make the dream home I found at the end of last year a reality. Unfortunately, we received bad news. We were outbid on the house we wanted. To say I was heartbroken to come so close to my dreams, only to have it fall apart was an understatement. It was pretty devastating. Even my husband, who is not known for his demonstration of emotion, was crushed. I remember sitting here, sobbing, crying the big fat ugly tears that make your face swell, your eyes hurt, and your nose too stuffed up to breathe.

I poured out my heart in my journal, and one of the lines I wrote really sticks with me. "I feel like Jacob, working so hard for Rachel, only to be presented with Leah. My faith is so small right now- I want to believe and trust, and honestly, I don't know how."

Betrayed. That's how I imagine Jacob must have felt, and that is how I felt. If you don't know the story, it's found in Genesis 29:16-30. Basically, Jacob fell in love with Rachel, worked seven years to get her, and instead, was given Leah, a woman he did not love. He had to work another seven years to get Rachel. It doesn't really say what Jacob went through in terms of his anger and betrayal, but it's easy to imagine how hard it would have been to be so close to the woman of your dreams only to have it ripped away.

And there I was, so close to the house of my dreams, and we got outbid, and frankly, the whole thing was just kind of stupid, the way it was with Jacob being forced to marry Leah on a technicality. Yes, I realize that a house and a wife are not necessarily the equivalent, but for us, this is something we've wanted since we met. We've dreamed of this for seventeen years, and it all seemed so perfect. We had so many miracles leading up to this point that it made no sense that the door shut when it did. I can imagine Jacob felt the same way- he was there, at the finish line, and WHAM! The door closed.

People told me things like, "God has something better," and honestly, in the midst of my grief, I wanted to smack them. We've waited SEVENTEEN YEARS for an opportunity like this, and haven't seen anything come even close. There hasn't been anything better in that time. It reminded me of all the things I've waited for that never came. That will never come. Every piece of grief that I thought had been healed opened up again, and I just wanted to know why. Why, when I was doing all the right things, did this, too, have to be taken from me?

But see, there is another piece to Jacob's story. He got over the betrayal, and he worked another seven years, and he got to marry Rachel. I read a bunch of articles and things speculating on why Jacob had to do the Leah/Rachel thing. Why it couldn't have been simpler? We really don't know, and we won't know until we meet God face to face. Sometimes you get to know why, and sometimes you don't. Will I know we why lost that house? Maybe. Is there another, more wonderful, house waiting for us? Maybe. I'd like to think so.

So here I am, the grief over my house loss subsided, and a new plan in place. We are selling our house, a house I love, because our dreams are bigger than staying where we are. Currently, there are no houses out there in our price range that even come close to being what we want. But I'm choosing to step out in faith that when the time comes, there will be a house for us. My daughter asked me what happens if there isn't. I told her we'd live in my van. Which would be weird, considering we have a dog and three chickens, and I'm seriously anti-poop in regards to my living conditions. But I'm choosing to believe that we'll be okay.

I went for a walk at a nature preserve yesterday with my friend Kay, and I took a great photo of the sun through the trees. Only when I looked at the photo after, I saw these fun blue and red spots in my picture. I don't know what they are, but I felt so much peace sitting there, that to me, those were my confirmation that everything is going to be okay.

What do you do when a door closes on your dreams?

I think it's okay, and even necessary, to take the time to grieve. But then you have to figure out a way to move on. To know that there is something good waiting for you, even if you can't see it. You have to find the strength and courage to go forward, even if your faith is so small. Even when you don't know how. I have no idea where this journey is taking us, and yes, I'm scared. But I suppose, if we had all the answers, there'd be no reason to have faith.

Have you had a door close on your dreams? What did you do? And if you're like me, blindly stepping out on faith, let me know how I can encourage you.

Letting God in on your dreams

I just got done taking a bath and reading a book. This may well be the first book I've actually read this year. Sometimes I get so single minded in pursuing my dreams that I have a tendency to forget to slow down and take time for me. Yes, I have a lot of work to do before our house hits the market on Thursday. But I also have to remember that part of pursuing a dream is also allowing God the grace to move and act in that space as well. Which means slowing down, spending some quiet time and nurturing yourself. If I trust God, this house thing will still happen without me killing myself with overwork.

The past three weeks have been nonstop- getting up earlier than usual, doing my regular job, then performing a lot more physical labor than this body is used to until I finally fall into bed. Some nights, I toss and turn worrying over everything I still have to do. One night, I even got out of bed at midnight and worked for two hours on a project that was bothering me. And yes, in the midst of this, I turned in some book ideas to my editor.

If you think it's crazy, it is. But that's me when I'm consumed with something important to me. And this afternoon, as I was listening to a devotional on audio in my car, I realized that all-consuming passion leaves no room for God.

If a dream really is of God, then you have to give him room to work.

I think it's a tough balance- on one hand, I do believe you have to do the work to make your dreams come true. I don't believe God is a magical fairy who goes around with his wand to make things happen. But I also know that God does want to be involved in your dreams. I think he wants to be able to work miracles in your plans. If you're too busy working and not taking the time to notice, you might miss the miracles that happen along the way.

We do not have the house yet. Our house goes on the market next week, then we will get the other house. So far, I've counted at least ten things that have been miraculous in this situation. TEN! And probably dozens more prayers answered. So why am I killing myself to make this happen?

Over the next few days, I have a lot more work to do. And I'll get it done. But after my relaxing evening in the bath, realizing how much I've failed to take care of myself, I'm going to be more mindful of the fact that part of pursuing your dreams is taking time to enjoy the journey.

My Dream Home... Maybe!

When I sat down to do my 2015 goal planning and dreaming, an unexpected event interrupted my plans. I found a listing for my almost dream home. I say almost, because the house itself is a bit of a fixer upper. Um, okay, it's A LOT of a fixer upper. :) But the location (and view!) is amazing!

The catch is, we have to sell our house first. And that house still has to be available when our house sells. But hey, those are all minor details and we are acting on faith that it's going to happen!

You don't get your dream home sitting around doing nothing.

In order to sell our house, we need to get a lot of stuff cleared out and in storage. Namely, my books and hubby's man junk. I don't know what it is, and I don't want to know. :) What I do know is that all of this is going to take a lot of work, packing, painting, and all that. And that's just to get the house sold! Our goal is to have our house on the market by the end of the week. Crazy, but hey... I'm hoping that my current house is someone else's dream home.

A funny thing happened as I started packing my books. I found ONE copy of my book, Rocky Mountain Dreams, that has no home. So... I'm giving it away.

Tell me your moving tips, and I'll choose a winner from everyone who shares.

Staying focused on the dream

Ah, the grand plans of a dreamer... one of the things I noticed about when you dream of doing something big, something always gets in the way. I no sooner launched my art journaling class than a minor catastrophe hit our household. I ended up having to focus at least two hours a day on this situation. Completely beyond my control, and absolutely necessary for me to deal with. On top of that, I had some important book deadlines, some major events happening in my world, and it felt like everything was spinning out of control. Times like that, it's easy to wonder if maybe you weren't meant to pursue your dream after all.

If your dream was what you were meant to do, wouldn't it be easy?

That faulty thinking stopped me in my tracks a lot in the past. If I were to list every single thing that has gone wrong in my life in the past month, it would almost be funny. Um, yeah, no. I'm still finding no humor in it. That said, all the muck I've had to wade through has been a source of valuable lessons. And, if I'm really looking for silver linings, some really precious time with my family. But it's also given me tremendous clarity.

When you make the decision to move from one state of being into your dreams, it's almost as if the universe is asking you, "do you really want this?" So many times, we're able to step back and justify remaining exactly where we are. It's easy to fool ourselves into thinking that maybe the timing is wrong. When things settle down, THEN we'll go after that dream again. But you know what? Things never settle down.

Challenges are your dream's way of testing to see if you're worthy of having that dream.

Now, I'm not talking worthiness in terms of saying you stink, so you don't deserve your dream. But I do think that when we want more, we have to prove that we're willing to be more. Are you willing to face the dragons that are in front of you? Are you willing to fight them? Do you believe so strongly in your dream that you are willing to overcome what you need to overcome to have it?

If it were easy, you'd already have your dream.

Think about it. Why don't you have your dream now? No one's handed it to you, and no one's going to.

Which brings me back to the challenges I faced earlier this month. It's been two weeks of doing a bunch of stuff I don't want to do, don't have time to do, but I don't have any alternative but to do it. But I also didn't give up on my dream. I didn't do as much work on it as I'd have liked, and I went without a little more sleep than I would have liked, but I did what I had to do.

Are you being pushed to your limits in pursuing your dream?

I hope so! That means you're on the right track! And if you're looking for a little encouragement or some tools to help you along the way, I'd love to help. Sign up for my Unleash Your Creative Spirit class, and let's get you unstuck and moving forward. Your dreams are worth pursuing!

Now it's your turn... What's holding you back on following your dreams?

 

Your Dreams Matter

[caption id="attachment_4643" align="alignleft" width="300"] Let's have tea at Kensington Gardens.[/caption]

The past few days have been a bit of a whirlwind for me. Some of you were part of my great big huge prayer request and know that I'm stepping out on faith to pursue my dream and start my art journaling business. Coincidentally (HA! Does anyone really believe in coincidences? Thank you, LORD, for aligning everything in such perfect timing), I'm taking the blog challenge with Jeff Goins, and his lesson today was on finding the theme and purpose of your blog.

You have no idea how perfect that timing is for me. One of the reasons I haven't started my art journaling business is because I am still fuzzy on my purpose. But as I thought about my blog and its purpose, it really clarified for me what I'm doing.

Right now, you may be wondering what that has to do with YOUR dreams mattering. Well, I'll tell you.

My purpose, my deep down heart's desire, is for you- yes, you- to know how very much your dreams matter.

The theme has been there, staring me in the face, and I couldn't see it. I thought my online name, "Dream," was just an accident. I took it from an old email address I used based off my husband's business name. So let's back up to that place. One of the things that attracted me to my husband was that he used to have this manifesto on his wall that really inspired me. It said something like, "Bigger Dreams, Brighter Future," and I thought, I want to be with the kind of person who has big dreams in life. More importantly, though, a lot of his dream was about other people, and helping them. I wanted to be a part of that.

However, time has passed, and a lot of those dreams hubby had that first inspired me are now irrelevant. Different path in life, nothing bad, nothing wrong with changing them. But the thing inside of me that wanted to help people, it never died. In fact, as I look back on what I've been wanting to do with my life, I realized that even when I was younger, as early as 12, maybe even before that, I wanted to help people.

Everywhere I look at my life, at my past, I see an undercurrent of two things: I want to help people, and dreams matter. Even the title of my very first book, one of my dreams come true, reflects that- Rocky Mountain Dreams. My dream is simply not complete unless I'm helping others get theirs. I don't want to be alone taking tea at Kensington Palace. Maybe tea isn't your thing, but there is something out there that is. Maybe you are so lost in your world that you don't even know what you want anymore. I want to help you find it.

A long time ago, I found myself so beat up by the world that I stopped dreaming. I stopped believing I could do it. And then I found art journaling.

Once I started art journaling, something deep inside me broke free. The voices of all the things I wanted to do with my life WOULD. NOT. SHUT. UP. I started being braver, taking risks, doing things I'd always wanted to do but put off because I didn't think I could. I went to England. I took all kinds of classes that stirred my soul. And now, I am stepping in to live my dream and fully be the me that God created me to be.

Friends, that is the core of my business. Who I am, what I want to do, and why I am doing it. The subject of my blog is dreams. My theme is that every woman (and man, but I think women probably relate to me more) has the ability and the power to reach their dreams. My objective is to encourage women to pursue their dreams and to equip them to do so with my art journal tools.

Your dreams matter. I believe in you, and I believe that whatever it is that you want to do, you CAN do it. So if there is something stirring inside you, a dream that you've buried, or even a dream that no matter how hard you've tried, it just doesn't seem to work, come journey with me. Let's do this thing together!

Tell me your dream, and if you want to continue the conversation, sign up for my newsletter, and I'll start sharing some of my dream-making tips in your inbox soon!

Where is your focus?

[caption id="attachment_4635" align="alignleft" width="225"] What are you focused on?[/caption]

Earlier today, I was driving to an appointment and thinking about what I'd be blogging about today since I'm taking a blog challenge from Jeff Goins and I need to post daily. But then, something happened, and what was a really super awesome mood is just now, well, meh. I'm feeling a little deflated and a little discouraged. Which is when it occurred to me. Losing your focus is really easy.

Maybe that sounds a little too obvious, but sometimes I think we forget.

When we have a big dream, it's easy for little things to slip in and take away our focus.

I went from being rah-rah, I can do this, and here is what I have all laid out, to really feeling bad about myself, beating myself up, and feeling insecure. And immediately, I forgot all about the other plans I had. The good things I wanted to do. Fortunately, I didn't remain in that place for long. I asked myself an important question- is this what I want?

If we're focused on all the negatives and reasons why we can't, or even just the things that are dragging us down in other areas of our lives, we leave no room for the good things to come in.

With no room for the good things to come in, how on earth am I supposed to get the things I really want?

I'm not saying this is easy. Trust me! Even as I write this, I'm tempted to go back to that thing that's really upsetting me, and think about it. Which is completely ridiculous, because there is nothing I can do about it. I have to keep reminding myself that the thing I can do something about, achieving my dreams, IS something I have control over, and I need to just do it.

So that's what I'm doing. I'm sitting here, reminding you, reminding myself, that there are far more important things to focus on. Things that I can give my attention to and feel good about.

And that brings me back to the title of this post- where is your focus? Are you letting the junk in life drag you down, or are you bringing your attention back to the thing you really want?

 

The road to your dreams starts with self care

[caption id="attachment_4629" align="alignleft" width="225"] The place where my dreams are born.[/caption]

I just returned from a wonderful retreat in Park City, Utah. Many of you read my post about my BIG DECISION, and I wanted to share one of the really important components of making that decision. I engaged in a ton of self care. I stayed at a gorgeous hotel in a wonderful suite that had so many things that really nurtured me.

Nurturing myself gave me the freedom to really see the future I wanted for myself.

One of the most nurturing things my hotel had was a HUGE bath tub. I'm a shower girl if I just want to get clean. But when I need to take care of myself, I take a bath. This tub was spectacular. I went to Whole Foods on the first night, bought myself some yummy (and healthy!) food, and a big container of bath salts. Each night, I took a long bath with a cup of tea and a book. One night, I spent about two hours in the tub with my journal. That might sound like a lot, but for me, that's the best rejuvenation time in the world. Even when I'm at home, if I've had a bad day, or I'm not feeling myself, the best way for me to snap out of it is to spend some time in the tub. I often say that I go into the tub with a book, a cup of tea, a glass of water, and sometimes a glass of wine, and I don't leave until I've finished them all.

I've learned that taking care of myself makes me a better me so that I can more effectively reach out and help others.

Yes, that also includes my role as wife and mother. Everyone in my life is better for the time I spend taking care of myself. I can't give to others when I am empty inside. If I try to make a decision from a place of not feeling healthy and grounded, I invariably make the wrong decision. Or I make the right decision, but it doesn't feel good, because I did it from a harried place.

When you're trying to move in the direction of your dreams, you have to be in a place of strength.

That doesn't mean that there's an absence of fear, or that you feel totally incapable of doing what you're dreaming of. Those are natural feelings when you're chasing your dreams. But it's so much easier to deal with those feelings when you're taking care of yourself.

So what are you doing to take care of yourself? How can you take care of yourself today so you feel good about where you're going tomorrow?

Taking a leap of faith

[caption id="attachment_4626" align="alignleft" width="300"] Where I'm spending time clarifying my vision.[/caption]

Last night, I asked for prayer about a major decision I was facing. The truth is, I knew what I had to do, and I was scared to do it. After lots of prayer, and hearing from a number of wonderful friends, none of whom knew the decision I was making, that we have to act on faith, I had enough affirmation to know that my fear was not from God, and the only direction to go was forward.

So... for those of you wondering about my big scary prayer request. :)  Some of you know I've been talking about teaching art journaling classes for a long time, and I've done a few online classes to get my feet wet. Well, today I signed up for an intensive program that's going to help me launch my art journaling biz! It's definitely a stretch for me, and a huge act of faith, but I truly believe that this is the direction God is sending me in. Your prayers really helped me clarify that, and I'm really grateful to each person who prayed.

I had a great talk with one of my wonderful friends this afternoon, and he asked me what he could do to support me. I decided that I should probably share what I told him with all of you as well.

1. Please continue to pray. Trust me when I say that there is no way I can do any of this on my own power, and I really need to work closely with God on this. I'm walking purely in faith right now, and sometimes the fear is pretty overwhelming.

2. As I launch my biz, please do spread the word and share the love in any way you can. If you know of places where I can teach or share my information, please let me know. You can check out my art journaling page for more deets as I figure them out (and sign up for my art journaling newsletter!).

3. Please continue supporting me in my writing. I have every intention to continue that dream, and my pursuit of becoming America's favorite author! You can pre-order my book on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or Tattered Cover, or if you're super impatient, and want it now, it's already available on Harlequin.com.

Really, this leap of faith is all about me becoming more in line with the woman God created me to be, and following a passion and dream I've had for a long time. I remembered this morning (as I was journaling and praying about my decision) that some of the dreams I wrote in my journal when I was 12 years old would be accomplished through this. Apparently, I needed a lot of time to be molded into the person God needed me to be to make this dream come true. I'm still being molded, for sure!!

I really appreciate everyone's prayers and I feel very blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life. Thanks so much for all of your support!

Everything you need to achieve your dreams

When I entered 2014, it was with the intention of focusing on taking the steps I need to achieve my dreams. I have a lot of "someday I'd like to" in my life, and I decided that "someday" was no longer good enough. I've been studying a lot of different ideas and methods for achieving your dreams and goal setting, and combining that with my art journaling.

One of the exercises I did talked about the qualities you want to have when you reach your dreams. Unless you develop those qualities on the way to your dream, you aren't going to be happy once you get there. That's why, when a lot of people reach certain goals, they're still unhappy. I can attest to that feeling of unhappiness with reaching goals. I stopped setting goals at one point because I was tired of getting what I wanted, but not being any happier. So this exercise asks you to focus your attention on what qualities and feelings you want to have when you reach your goals and fulfill your dreams.

I started thinking about what I wanted to feel, what qualities I wanted in my life, and, going back to those things that didn't make me happy, I thought about what I thought getting those things would make me feel, and I put those down as well. As I looked at the things I put on paper, I realized something very powerful. Getting my dreams was less about having certain things as it was about the kind of person I wanted to be. More importantly, I realized that I could be that person and have those things without ever accomplishing any of my actual life goals. Even if none of my dreams every came true, I could still be content with my life. That's not to say I don't have dreams. But I realized that my worth is not dependent on the outcome of my dreams.

Many times, when we set goals, we think that by achieving that thing, we're going to get something else. Maybe it's love, acceptance, confidence, happiness, success, peace, or some other amorphous thing we can't really define. A lot of times, it really isn't about the goal, but about that underlying quality we want to get. As I thought about my goals and the underlying emotions and qualities, I realized that I would probably reach my goals faster if I actually worked on the qualities I want in my life first. Even better, though, was the realization that this journey is a lot like the Wizard of Oz. Whether it's the Cowardly Lion, the Tin Man, or the Scarecrow, the very thing we seek already resides within us. We just need to dig in and make use of it.

What are your dreams?

What qualities do you hope to gain when you finally reach your dreams?

Is there something you could be doing now to bring about those qualities? What's inside of you that you need to bring out?

New Year, Better Me!

Happy New Year!!

I was looking at one of the ad campaigns we're supporting for work called New Year, New You. Now, no offense to the folks who came up with that idea, but the more I've thought about it, the more I don't like that idea. For the most part, I like who I am. I don't want to find a new me, I just want a better me. Which I think is the whole point of New Year's Resolutions. We want to build on the foundation of the life we've been creating and make it better.

One of the things I realized in the last few months of 2013 is how much of my true self I've been repressing. Things I love that I've been pushing aside for practical reasons, because I'm afraid, because I don't know what to do, because I've forgotten, and probably a lot of other reasons. But what I've found is that as I let some of that out, I'm really a lot happier. The other thing I've realized is that as focused as I've been on a lot of the mundane, I've really lost a lot of focus on who I am. Over the past few months, I've been really stumped by questions that dig down to the heart of who I am. Things I feel like I should know the answer to, but I don't.

At the end of 2013, I committed to doing some things that dig in to who I am and who I want to be. 2013 saw one of my major dreams come true.  And while I couldn't be happier over that accomplishment, there are still so many things I want to do. Looking back, I realized that years ago, I thought that when we reached this level of income, we'd be really set. And yet, in some ways, we're no farther along in life than I'd thought we'd be. Some of that is my fault, some of it is the hubby's fault, and some of it... well, it's just how life happens sometimes.

So this year, my goal is to be more intentional about making my life more into the life I've always wanted. Don't get me wrong here. I really like my life. I'm so blessed. Sometimes it's overwhelming to see just how blessed we are. But there are also longings in my heart, dreams I have, that I'm more focused than ever on pursuing. I always start my year really focused on all the great things I want to do, and at some point during the year, when things get crazy, I forget. So my hope for this year is that I don't forget. I'm also working on some plans to help with that. For example, I'm participating in an art journal project called The Documented Life Project. Art journaling is one of the things I've been doing to make myself happy and rediscover myself. Hopefully incorporating that into a planner will help me be more organized. Plus, I'm also adding a new aspect to it- I bought the wrong planner, so I have a ton of extra pages. I decided to use those pages to help with my goal setting and goal planning. I'm hoping that having my goals and dreams close at hand- as part of my daily planner- will help remind me of my focus.

How are you focusing on the new year?

 

Using what I have

[caption id="attachment_4275" align="alignleft" width="224"] I have over 50 varieties of tea stashed in here. It's getting harder and harder to find a place for all of my teas.[/caption]

One of my priorities lately has been to do a better job of using what I have instead of buying new. We have so much stuff! So I'm starting to take inventory of what I have and seeing how I can use it up, making room for new, or, having a fresh place for everything to go.

Tea is one of my biggest weaknesses- and biggest delights. It's also the go-to gift idea when someone who knows me wants to buy me something. Unfortunately, it also means that I have way too much tea! And I realized that I don't drink most of it! I have my few daily standbys and only rarely do I drink something else. One of my favorite teas is Ginger Peach by Republic of Tea. I drink it almost every day. When I ran out about a week ago, I thought, "oh no, I have to go buy more." Which is funny because I have about a million varieties of tea in my house.

Instead, I made a pledge to myself. No more new tea until I drink what I already have. The only exception to this is my bedtime teas, and that's because there are few nighttime teas that don't have chamomile, which I am allergic to. I've only found two teas that really work for me at night, so when I'm out of them, I can buy more. Everything else- NO NEW TEA!

I've dug into boxes of tea people sent me as gifts. Some were amazing! A few were duds. I rediscovered new favorites, and mourned when I drank the last cup. I've found a few teas that I wanted to save because they were so good, I didn't want to say goodbye. Now, they are stale, and I wish I had drank it when it was fresh. Slowly, I am working through my tea collection, drinking it up.

[caption id="attachment_4274" align="alignright" width="300"] My Tea station, where I keep my hot water boiler, teas I drink most often, sweeteners, and hot drinks for the kids.[/caption]

The only thing I don't know what to do about is the teas I don't like. I realized that I have a number of varieties sitting in my cupboard that I purchased, had a few cups, and really don't care for. Do I give them to friends, hoping they like them better? Do I throw them away? To me, that seems like a waste, because I've spent a lot of money on these teas. What would you do?

I'm finding a lot of joy in enjoying the teas that I have, saving money by not buying more tea, and feeling a sense of freedom as I clean out my cupboards.

Maybe you don't have a vast collection of tea. But is there something in your house, in your life, that you could be using up instead of hoarding?

I hope you'll consider using it up and enjoying it. Savor your tea (or whatever it is) before it gets stale.

 

Accomplishment!

I would like to confess to being a knitting loser. I start a lot of great projects, but I don't always finish them. I am terrible at weaving in ends and piecing things together, and so I usually don't fully finish my projects. But tomorrow I am going out to lunch with my BFF for her birthday.

Last year, I planned on making her a really cute tea cozy, which I almost finished, except that it required an i-cord, which I found out was short for idiot cord, because any idiot could make one. Since I did not want to be the only idiot who could not make one, I did not attempt this feat. I bought her something else instead. I can't even remember what I got her.

But this year, she's wanting us to exchange more personal gifts, and I really can't think of anything to give her other than something I knitted. Then I remembered a really cute bag I learned to knit at a class taught by Karen Gress at A Knitted Peace. You can find the pattern here: http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/spiral-drawstring-tiny-tote

My friend Allie Pleiter also blogged about her experience making this bag.

Our class ended before I could add the finishing touches, so I didn't quite finish it. But I figured it would be quick and easy to finish in time for tomorrow's lunch, and a cute gift to give my BFF. So I finished it. However, as I was digging in my knitting basket for something I needed, I found the tea cozy I was going to give her last year. And I figured... the bag was actually meant to be given to another friend, although now that it was finished, I really liked it for myself. So... Could I brave learning how to make an idiot cord so I could keep my bag?

By golly, yes!

As I finished up the lovely tea cozy, I realized that it had a lot of stinking ends to weave in. UGH! Did I mention that I'm terrible at weaving in ends? But I did it. And she's not a knitter so she won't look at it and think it's total crap. Hopefully she likes it!

Digging in my knitting basket made me aware of a few other unfinished projects. Most of them requiring just a few simple (HA!) things like weaving in ends and sewing pieces together. But as I sit back and enjoy the feeling of accomplishment of having finished two projects in one night, I think I just might have to work on those too.

Do you have any projects you've been dreading finishing? What can you do to cross them off your list? And if you're not a knitter, think about other projects weighing on you that might take just an evening to get off your plate.

 

Not a word

A lot of my blogging friends are talking about their word for the year. I admit, I've tried it in the past. But can I be honest? I can't even remember my word a week later.  So this year, as my friends were once again talking about their words for the year, I tried thinking of a word for the year, and then I thought, what's the point if I'm not even going to remember it in two weeks?

Then I started thinking about my goals and resolutions for the year. And to be honest, I wasn't very excited about doing it. I was thinking about last year's goals, and I don't even remember where they are! I put them somewhere really important so I could find them and refer to them, and...

Here's where I've decided to come down on it all:

Yes, I do want to make positive changes in my life. But honestly, I feel like doing it just because the date has changed is a little false and arbitrary. What's different in me that makes me want to change simply because it's January 1st instead of December 31st? As the calendar rolled over, did the moon and stars suddenly come into alignment so I will succeed where I've previously failed?

Didn't think so.

For me to make a change, I need something more than a list or flipping the page on a calendar. I need a deeper reason to force me to act. So as I thought about what I want to do in 2013, I realized that I'm already on the path I want to be. No, I'm not perfect, and I haven't arrived. But let's take a look at some old goals and where I am:

1. Finances. Last year, I made a goal to pay off a certain amount of debt and have a certain amount of money in savings. I don't remember what the numbers were, but I do remember looking at it in March and realizing that it was completely unrealistic and tossing it aside. That said, because I set the goal and was intentional about saving money and paying off debt, not only did I pay off our car, but I got 1/3 of the way paid down on a debt that I've had for years and couldn't make progress on. So I'm going to keep moving forward on that, and, if I stay on track, doing what I'm doing, it'll be paid off in two years. Yay me!

2. Health and fitness. UGH!! I wanted to lose the 20 pounds my doctor has been nagging me about. I gained five. Part of it was due to a hip injury that had me unable to do much of anything- I was literally told not to exercise. Not that I minded. So this year, I am being more intentional about moving more, eating better, but for now, I'm not going to focus on the number. I'm playing it like I did the finances last year- being intentional about making better choices in small ways, but not going for the gusto in a huge way.

3. Writing. Um, let's just not talk about that. At this point, I have no real goals, and I'm just putting one foot in front of the other. I'm taking some writing classes, working on some books, and we'll see where it leads. For now, I have two books almost ready to submit, and I will submit them, but that's about all I'm going to commit to.

As for other goals, I have a few things I am working on. But I'm taking the same approach and not putting into a big list or anything like that. I'm just putting one foot in front of the other and making progress in the direction of things that are important to me. I'm not sure that's something I can quantify in a word.

Do you have a word? Or are you like me, and unable to quantify it that way?

Simplifying the writing

Um, well, okay, there really isn't anything to simplify writing-wise, but since it's my theme for the year, I'd be remiss if I didn't at least talk about my writing goals and figure out some way to fit it in. I haven't talked a lot about my writing lately, mostly because I don't have a lot to talk about. I'm plugging along, and that's that. My agent has a couple of books he's shopping, so we'll see.

I had the goal of submitting the book I'm working on by the end of last year. Well, I got sick and with the holidays and some year-end stuff, it didn't happen. I did finish it, and now I'm working on polishing and getting it in top shape.

My mistake last year was not setting writing goals. I was so overwhelmed with life that I honestly didn't think about it. I just wrote when I could, and more often than not, ended up putting it aside because I couldn't deal. Yes, I know, not something you want to say publicly, except for this...

My simplify my life plan gives me the room to write.

I've spent the past few years putting the "urgent" first, and letting the mess suck out my writing time. But writing is what I love. So according to all of the success books out there, shouldn't writing be first? Which is my commitment this year. I am writing. I am writing every day. And I will be submitting.

My first writing goal is to submit the book I'm working on by the end of the month. Then, I have a couple of other books I'd like to finish and submit, but part of it will depend on what happens with what my agent has out. So I've loosely committed to those, but am willing to change. Last year, I finished three books (one only semi-counts, because I had mostly finished it the year before). This year, I'd like to do four. I think one per quarter is do-able.

Have you set your writing goals?

Simplifying the health plan

When I talk about simplifying, that includes my health and exercise. A few years ago, I decided to get serious about the doctor's lectures on losing weight. I followed recommended diets from healthcare providers, I've tried exercising. And guess what? None of it worked. I weigh more now than ever. During all this time, I've had friends tell me that I looked fine and didn't need to lose weight. So who do you believe?

Earlier this fall, I had an epiphany about my weight. I was on a nasty diet (that didn't work) and eating things that made me miserable. I laid it on the line with God, and told him that if this was how I had to live the rest of my life, then I didn't want to. To which God responded by asking me if I could love my body, no matter what size it is.

I decided to take that challenge.

The other day, I got out of the shower and was doing my usual post-shower stuff, and I caught a glimpse of myself naked in the mirror. But instead of just passing by, I stopped. And really looked at myself, naked. And you know what? I'm not model gorgeous with a perfectly toned tummy. But I look pretty damn good. I've got curves and lumps and bumps and stretch marks and scars, but my husband thinks I'm still hot.

I can remember looking up at the mountains and being in absolute awe of how God shaped the rocks, dotting them with little things to make them unique and beautiful. He did the same thing with our bodies. He put birthmarks and little spots and perfect details that make me uniquely me. And I believe He declared it just as beautiful as we declare the mountains.

It is this lesson that I take with me in simplifying my health. Putting food in my body is going to have me asking the same questions I ask of spending my money. What need is this fulfilling?

Which leads to the tougher question of exercise. I hate it. I can't stay motivated to do it. But I know I need to be more active. So instead of saying that I'm going to exercise more, I'm setting a goal to do something I've always wanted to do. I've always wanted to climb a mountain. My BFF and I have talked about doing it for years. This year, we're going to do it. At our next tea date, we're setting the date, and I'll be spending the months leading up to it getting in shape. That to me has more power, motivation, and importance than just going to the gym to get exercise.

Right now, this all sounds a lot easier said than done. To be honest, that's part of why I'm blogging about it. Because I hope that when I make disparaging comments about my appearance, one of my friends will smack me upside the head and remind me of what God showed me about my true beauty. I hope people will ask me about climbing the mountain and remind me that it's not going to happen sitting on my butt every day.

My goal isn't about being the perfect image of what the world thinks is attractive. I'm attractive to my husband, I'm attractive to my God, and moving forward, I simply want to take care of what I have, improve upon what I can, and in the end, accept myself for what I am.

Reading goals

I know... lots of goals to start off my year. But I think reading is a priority that I've let slip in my life. I love to read, but I'm embarrassed to say that I read less than I've ever read. I turn down reviews because I know I won't have time for them, and I hate that. I love reading new books. I don't even read the books I love to read because it seems like there's too many other things to do.

So this year, I'm making reading a priority again. Rather than just saying it, I'm making reading a measurable goal.

Here are my reading goals for the year:

1. Read one current book from each Love Inspired line each month.
I know, this sounds silly, since I work with them, but I am really bad about pacing myself. When my shipment comes, I tend to gorge on the LIHs, then I get busy and forget to read the others. Or, I'll decide to clean, then move them where I can't find them. THEN, I'll feel guilty for not reading the others, and I have a horrible backlog, so I do a catch-up gorge, and then don't read the LIHs. All this to say, that I end up reading backlist books, and not the current ones. Ugh.

2. Read one nonfiction book each month. I love nonfiction, but I read those chapter by chapter. So, I'll read a few chapters of a book, then put it down, forget where I put it, and never finish the book. ICK.

3. Read one new to me author each month. I'm really terrible about not reading new authors... well, that is, I read the new LI authors, but none anywhere else. I think I need to expand my horizons a little.

Do you have reading goals?

Reading goals

I know... lots of goals to start off my year. But I think reading is a priority that I've let slip in my life. I love to read, but I'm embarrassed to say that I read less than I've ever read. I turn down reviews because I know I won't have time for them, and I hate that. I love reading new books. I don't even read the books I love to read because it seems like there's too many other things to do.

So this year, I'm making reading a priority again. Rather than just saying it, I'm making reading a measurable goal.

Here are my reading goals for the year:

1. Read one current book from each Love Inspired line each month.
I know, this sounds silly, since I work with them, but I am really bad about pacing myself. When my shipment comes, I tend to gorge on the LIHs, then I get busy and forget to read the others. Or, I'll decide to clean, then move them where I can't find them. THEN, I'll feel guilty for not reading the others, and I have a horrible backlog, so I do a catch-up gorge, and then don't read the LIHs. All this to say, that I end up reading backlist books, and not the current ones. Ugh.

2. Read one nonfiction book each month. I love nonfiction, but I read those chapter by chapter. So, I'll read a few chapters of a book, then put it down, forget where I put it, and never finish the book. ICK.

3. Read one new to me author each month. I'm really terrible about not reading new authors... well, that is, I read the new LI authors, but none anywhere else. I think I need to expand my horizons a little.

Do you have reading goals?