December Thanksgiving Art Journal Challenge Day 29

This is the point at which I admit to not knowing the day of the week or date when my kids are not in school. If they're not around to remind of the passing of the days, I get lost in my own little world and forget. I guess that's not really a bad thing, unless, of course, you're committed to doing things on a certain day- like posting your art journal. Usually I'm not a fan of having my kids on break because they are always SO BORED. Well, not they. Just Princess.

But this break, she's been doing all kinds of projects, and because her sister has been sick, she and I have had a lot of one on one time together. She likes doing art journal projects with me, and we're always finding fun things to do together. Or, I'll sit and work, and she'll find a project to do. My supply area is a mess largely because she's always getting in there and playing. Part of me hates the disorder, but part of me loves being able to create with my daughter.

One of the things I really love about this art journal challenge is that I CAN do it with my kids.

If you haven't watched my introductory video to this art journal challenge, I encourage you to do so! You'll see Princess helping me out.

[embed]https://vimeo.com/113168872[/embed]

Today's  art journal topic is: A Family Member

I'm sure you won't be surprised to know that I wrote about Princess. I printed out a picture and glued it in, nothing fancy, but it still holds a special place in my heart.

Here is my entry:
"I am so thankful for my sweet little princess. We've had precious time this past month, and I have really been focused on enjoying her. She has such a good heart, and it warms mine to be her mommy. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

Your turn: Share about a family member you're thankful for!

I'd love for you to share your art journal masterpieces. You can either post them on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram with the hashtag #DecemberThanksgiving, or feel free to email me if you want to keep it private.

And, if you'd like to receive a PDF with all the art journal challenges for this month, be sure to subscribe to my newsletter!

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December Thanksgiving Art Journal Challenge Day 21

The good thing about knowing what art journal challenge is coming up is that sometimes you can plan ahead what you're going to do. Which is why, if you haven't signed up for my newsletter to get the PDF, you should! The bad thing about planning ahead what you're going to do is that stuff happens, like your kid gets sick, and you go into ninja decontamination mode. I might admit to taking a few more naps than usual because it's so exhausting, because I refuse to admit that anyone else in this house is getting sick. My body is working in perfect harmony and all of my cells are doing exactly what a healthy body needs them to do. Fortunately, I made homemade chicken noodle soup today, and it was really tasty, so I'm sure everyone will be feeling better soon.

But that leaves me with the conundrum of what to do about today's art journal challenge.

Today's art journal challenge is somewhere you've gone in the past week.

On Friday, I helped chaperone Cowgirl's school trip to the museum. I had planned on printing out a gorgeous picture I'd taken and gluing it in my art journal. But with everything going on around here this weekend, it didn't happen. So, I drew a scene from the insanity known as taking a bunch of teenagers to the museum. In case you didn't know, teenagers are just like toddlers, only larger and with hormones. Plus, I think toddlers might listen better. I've taken several of the kids' classes to the museum over the years, and I'm pretty sure this trip is a new record of the number of times I had to say, "please don't touch that," to the kids.

I also think we went through the entire museum in record time, leaving us with about 30 minutes at the end of kids whining, "but we already saw that," and "my legs are tired, can't we just sit?" I found a lovely seating area that overlooked the lake and downtown, and my little group of miscreants happily sat on the chairs and started playing on their phones. I sat with Cowgirl, and while we both expressed regret over not getting to enjoy the museum, we certainly enjoyed the view.

Taking her class to the museum reminded me of how grateful I am to have her as my daughter. Not only is she a thousand, maybe even a million, times more well-behaved, but I genuinely like being with her. We always have great conversations, and she has a lot of interesting things to say. Going to the museum with her is usually a lot of fun. And even though we set a new museum speed record with her class, we still had a lot of fun.

Here is my art journal entry:
"I am so thankful that I went to the museum with Cowgirl and her class. Even though the kids were bratty, it was such a sweet time with my girl, and I'm so glad I got to spend the day with her. I love being with my girl. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

Where did you go this week that you're thankful for?

I'd love for you to share your art journal masterpieces. You can either post them on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram with the hashtag #DecemberThanksgiving, or feel free to email me if you want to keep it private.

And, if you'd like to receive a PDF with all the challenges for this month, be sure to subscribe to my newsletter!

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Go back to school!!!

[caption id="attachment_4222" align="alignleft" width="300"] The Dog in his spot where I work.[/caption]

Or, what my day looks like when the kids are home and I'm trying to work.

9:00 Decide I should get out of bed because I've already wasted time I should have been working.

9:05 Wish I had stayed in bed because I've been "MOM!ed" approximately 1,000 times.

9:10 Take a shower.

9:30 Eat breakfast and start work.

9:35 Yell at the kids to turn the TV down.

9:37 Get up and close the door after my dog lets himself in my office. I work with the door closed. I could write an entire blog post about WHY I can only work with the door closed, but I will spare you the horror. Suffice to say the door MUST be closed.

9:40 Get up and let the dog out of my office.

9:42 Google devices that would let the dog in and out of the office so that I don't have to keep getting up. Find nothing.

9:43 Get up and close the door because the dog has let himself back in my office.

Repeat said process until 11:53.

11:53 Get up and make myself lunch. Listen to kid whine, "but I never got any breakfast." My answer, "fine. Have breakfast." Kid, "how come I can't have lunch?" Tell the dog he should be grateful we had him fixed.

12:05 Eat lunch while throwing dinner in the crockpot, thus proving that I DO actually feed my children (in case anyone from social services is reading).

12:15 Make another cup of tea and get back to work.

12:17 Close office door because dog has finally decided to grace me with his presence.

12:19 Yell at kids to turn down TV. Threaten to take it away.

12:21 Get up and let dog out of office.

12:23 Close office door because dog has decided that he doesn't want to be with the kids anymore.

12:25 Check school website to be sure that I didn't get the go back to school date wrong since everyone else's kids went back today. Nope.

12:27 Answer the phone in hopes it's one of the kids' friends asking them to go do something. As in, leave. At the sound of start of telemarketer speech, wonder if they'll take my kids in exchange for whatever they're selling.

12:31 Get up and let dog out of office. Inform him that he can fit in a crockpot just as easily as my roast.

12:33 Close door when dog returns.

Repeat until work is done.

Here is what my schedule will look like when the kids go back to school:

8:00 Get up and get kids off to school.

8:30 Eat breakfast, exercise, and take a shower.

9:00 WORK

12:00 Have lunch, let the dog out, think about dinner (start if needed).

12:15 Back to work.

3:30 Welcome my children home, and if all is properly aligned in the universe, finish work.

 

One more day, people, I can do this for one more day...

21 Ways to Connect with Your Kids by Kathi Lipp

It is time for a FIRST Wild Card Tour book review! If you wish to join the FIRST blog alliance, just click the button. We are a group of reviewers who tour Christian books. A Wild Card post includes a brief bio of the author and a full chapter from each book toured. The reason it is called a FIRST Wild Card Tour is that you never know if the book will be fiction, non~fiction, for young, or for old...or for somewhere in between! Enjoy your free peek into the book!

You never know when I might play a wild card on you!

Today's Wild Card author is:

 

Kathi Lipp

 

and the book:

 

21 Ways to Connect with Your Kids

Harvest House Publishers (October 1, 2012)

***Special thanks to Ginger Chen for sending me a review copy.***

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Kathi Lipp is a busy conference and retreat speaker, currently speaking each year to thousands of women throughout the United States. She is the author of The Husband Project and The Marriage Project and has had articles published in several magazines, including Today’s Christian Woman and Discipleship Journal. Kathi and her husband, Roger, live in California and are the parents of four teenagers and young adults.
Visit the author's website.

SHORT BOOK DESCRIPTION:

21 Ways to Connect with Your Kids offers a straightforward, workable plan to create new avenues of connection between parents and their kids. This handy guide coaches moms and dads to do one simple thing each day for three weeks to connect with their kids even in the midst of busy schedules.

Product Details:

List Price: $12.99

Paperback: 208 pages

Publisher: Harvest House Publishers (October 1, 2012)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 0736929673

ISBN-13: 978-0736929677

My Review:

I'm always looking for new ways to connect with my kids, especially since I'm raising a mini-me and one who I still can't figure out! It was so great to have immediate reassurance and skills for figuring out how to connect with such different personalities. I love all the practical ideas and tips in this book. It's a lot more about doing than about theory. I especially love that within each of the 21 ideas, there are a lot of small ideas of things to do. I think there is something for every parent in here, and it's a great resource for when you run out of ideas or need something that's a little more creative than what you typically do. Kathi says it so well- we don't have to be perfect parents, so there's no pressure here to do everything or do it just right. Just pick something and do it!



AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:

The Book I Almost Didn’t Write

I argued with God for a long time before writing this book.

When I originally came up with the idea to write a book about connecting with your kids, I was on a “Mom High.” My husband, Roger, and I had been married for five years, and we had successfully blended a family. Two of his, two of mine, my cat, our dog.

Even the challenges I’d had with my stepson, Jeremy, after Roger and I got married were a mere memory. We had learned to care for each other, hang out together, and enjoy each other. And my relationship with my stepdaughter, Amanda, was growing, and we loved being together. All our kids would come over for Sunday night dinner and would often hang out during the week. While I knew we were far from perfect parents, I was excited that Roger and I both had close relationships with our kids.

But then all that went up in smoke.

My son, Justen, was going through a tough time in his life. He grew cold and distant from me. We were fighting and arguing and going through an awful, awful time.

And I needed to write a book about how to be close to your kids.

I cried out to God. I felt betrayed by him. I had poured all this love and energy, time and prayer into my son, and he was barely speaking to me. I felt like a failure. I felt like a fraud. And on the rare occasions that Justen and I had a conversation, I would curl up in a ball and cry as soon as we were done talking. I hated where our relationship was.

I talked with my husband about not writing the book. Not out of shame or embarrassment (and trust me, I felt both of those) but simply because I felt like the principles I had practiced didn’t work. My son was distant from me, and all the praying in the world was not helping. I asked friends to pray for Justen, pray for me, and pray for what this book was supposed to be about.

I’ve written much of this book during my desert time with Justen. I had nothing to hold on to but God’s Word, especially Philippians 4:6—“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

So I waited and I prayed. And I prayed some more.

And now, as I finish writing this book, God has used time and the healing that only he can bring to restore Justen to a good place. It’s taken a lot of time and a lot of prayer. But when I talked with Justen’s counselor, the one thing he said that I will never forget is this: “Justen felt safe enough with you to express his anger to you, because even with all of his anger, he never questioned your love for him.”

I’m afraid that each of my kids—and probably yours—are going to go through hard times. They are going to go through loss and disappointment and sadness, and they are not always going to behave as if all this “connecting stuff ” will make a difference. But let me tell you, it does.

Trust the process and trust your parenting. God has given you everything you need. You are not always going to feel like connecting. Do it anyway. Your kids need you to invest in them when they are young so that when they are older, they don’t ever have to question your love for them.

2

Why You’re a Better Parent than You Think You Are

I can tell you one thing about yourself right off the bat: You’re a better parent than you think you are. I know that’s a bold statement (especially since we’ve never met), but if you are anything like me and my friends, someone needed to tell you that.

I remember looking at the other moms at church, the dads out in the parks pushing their kids on the swings, and just knowing they all had it way more together than I ever would. Those thoughts started exactly one day after I became a parent.

It was time for us to check out of the hospital with Justen, who at one day and nine pounds and four ounces was just about the most terrifying thing I’d ever seen in my life. I was having a small (OK, enormous) panic attack. I couldn’t believe that the authorities, whoever they were, were going to let me take him home. Didn’t they realize I’d never handled a human baby before? What kind of broken system do we have that would let me (me!) take home this not-so-tiny baby boy?

And that’s when I knew I was sunk. In my mind, no one had ever had those thoughts before. All around me were happy couples who were dying to get their babies home and do what? I really had no idea. But I felt as though everyone else had been given a secret manual, and I had missed that day of orientation.

And the feeling persisted. All the other moms acted as if they had been parenting for decades. They had their parenting methods all picked out and were parenting on purpose.

I had a sneaking suspicion that they had their kids sleeping through the night after thirty days, were breastfeeding without tears, and woke up hours before their children so the house would be clean and activities laid out—activities that were not only creative but also educational. I felt like the world’s biggest loser of a parent.

But then something miraculous happened. I started talking to other parents. I mean really talking. And guess what I found out?

I found out they were just as unconfident, strung out, and secretly ashamed as I was. They too thought their kid was the only one to ever have a meltdown in the middle of Whole Foods. They too thought they had the only child on the planet who insisted on wearing his Spiderman underwear on the outside of his pants. They also thought that everyone else cooked homemade spinach muffins for their kids every morning and did alphabet-training drills starting at age two.

If you can relate to any of this, let me give you a few words of encouragement.

God gave the right parent to the right kid. There are days when this statement couldn’t feel further from the truth. You feel ill-equipped to meet your child’s physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Because, for the most part, you are. God wants you to rely on him and the people he’s surrounded you with. You are not designed to do this parenting thing alone, even if you are a single parent. There are no gold stars for parents who never ask for help.

God gave the right kid to the right parent. All those things that God needs to grow in you to draw you closer to him? He sent those in a neat little package called “your child.” Each of my kids has taught me something about myself—often things I would choose to ignore if given the opportunity. I would have never thought that I had a patience problem, for example, until I had a patience tester named Kimberly. But there is no chance to ignore such things when they need to be bathed, fed, and loved pretty regularly. I had to confront the parts of me that needed, desperately, to be more like Jesus—and often, I needed to confront my problems with a lack of patience before Kimber woke up from her twelve-minute nap.

Prayer is key. For years, when a kid issue reared its ugly head, I would go to my friends, I would go to my mom, and I would go to my wall of “how to raise a great kid” books to find the answer. I needed answers, and I needed them quick! But as my friend Erin MacPherson, author of The Christian Mama’s Guide to Having a Baby: Everything You Need to Know to Survive (and Love) Your Pregnancy, says when it comes to pregnancy as well as parenting, “Go to God before Google.”

God will direct your heart as you parent. From day one, what I really needed was to know the heart of God and to let that direct me as a parent. Yes, I’m a big believer in wise council, but I am a bigger believer in not using God only when things hit the crisis stage (or the principal’s office).

• • • • •

Now, if you have a couple of years under your parenting belt, would you do us all a favor and tell the other mothers around you what went wrong?

• Tell us how the helpful junior higher you now are raising once threw a toy and knocked out her older brother’s tooth.

• Tell us that you faked dizziness so they wouldn’t release you from the hospital and you could stay another night.

• Tell us that your one and only prayer for the first year of your daughter’s life was, Dear God, please don’t let me screw her up.

When I was in high school, I had a youth leader named Emily Nelson. Emily had it all together. She’d married a great husband and started having great kids. Emily was the kind of person that I would spend a lot of time comparing myself to. You know the kind. You think to yourself, I bet they’re the kind of parent that grows their own organic food while teaching their kids French, as opposed to my kid who learned how to read from frequent exposure to packages of Chicken-Dino-Nuggets.

So imagine my glee when I read this essay by Emily about being a not-so-perfect mom:

As we cruised down the coast, singing along to Veggie Tales, I tossed carrots to my 3 sons who quickly gobbled them up. We arrived at the beach with our fresh-from-the-library-checked-out book about seashells and started collecting. After making sandcastles and letting them bury me neck deep, I pulled out the ice cream maker and made homemade, organic ice cream. I snapped a funny picture of them. “This one is for the scrapbook!” I exclaimed, and they tackled me with a hug. This was a perfect day, but…it never happened.

My REAL beach day started with screaming them into the car to beat traffic, telling them to forage the van floor if they were hungry, and throwing beach toys onto the sand, while I collapsed in my beach chair devouring the latest People magazine. I didn’t even bring the camera.

Looking back I’m tortured with what I didn’t do with my kids: take them hiking, educate them in museums, have family devotions. And I moan about what I did do: harsh words, wishy-washy discipline, and over-involvement in non-family activities. I look at the creative moms, the outdoorsy moms, the homemade-everything moms, the spiritual moms and think they parented so much better than I. Yet one day, as I was recounting my lack of mothering skills to my 27-year-old, he encircled me in a hug, saying, “Mom, you did just fine!” That boy never has to buy me another gift, as he gave me the gift of peace that maybe, just maybe, I did okay.

Every parent has struggles. Every parent has those nights when they toss a loaf of bread and some peanut butter on the table and call it dinner. But every parent also has those moments—probably more often than not—when they are a rock, an encourager, and a God-given gift to their children.

Your parenting road is going to have its share of take-the-hubcaps-off potholes. And it may be a long time before you hear the words, “Mom/Dad, you did just fine!”

But remember 2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” God is sufficient for all your needs. Even your parenting needs.

You see? You really are a better parent than you think you are.

Blessing your family with your imperfections

As a recovering perfectionist, I've had to let go of the need for everything to be just perfect. If you've followed my gardening journey, you'd know that I've allowed myself to do a lot of it imperfectly. And if you're not a gardener, that's okay... because so much of what I've learned can be applied to you as well.



My princess loves corn. When I planted the garden last year, she begged for corn, so I planted it, but I didn't know when to harvest it, so the evil squirrels got to it before I could. No corn for us last year. So this year, I planted corn again, and despite reading things about corn, I really had no idea when to harvest. But with the coming frost, I had to decide- pick the corn or leave it for the squirrels. I chose to pick the corn.



The corn we picked was small and not well-developed. I'm not sure what went wrong, but I realized that even the small amount we got from our garden would be enough for dinner. The little one loved eating the corn that we grew. It didn't matter that it wasn't pretty or that the ears were tiny and misshapen. My daughter now has the memory that her mommy planted corn for her, and we got to eat that corn, and it was delicious.



I'm so glad that I didn't let last year's corn failure keep me from trying again. I won't win any prizes or be on any master gardener shows, or even be the go-to girl for gardening advice. But I do have a little girl who got to have a really cool experience.



What have you been afraid to try because you don't think you'll do a good job?

 

How do we give our kids value?

The princess and I had a weird conversation the other day. She was convinced that some day, when she grew up, I was going to forget about her. "I will never forget about you," I told her with confidence. "Yes you will. You're going to see me on the street someday and you won't know who I am." Nothing I said would convince her otherwise. I finally hugged her tight and told her that she was too precious to me to forget. At the core of my daughter's questions, though, was the question we all ask. Am I significant?

I started a new Bible study at our church based on the book, Counterfeit Gods by Timothy Keller. So far, we've only discussed the introduction, but I have to say, even that small bit is changing my life. Keller's main point is that we set up idols for ourselves by allowing things to take the place of God's significance in our lives. It's making me realize how easy it is to take the focus off God and replace Him with something else.

One of the prominent thoughts in parenting today is giving our kids good self esteem. All of the books and schools tell us how we should praise our children and make sure they know they're loved. There are so many techniques for helping our children grow a healthy self esteem. But everything I've learned is missing one component. Where does our kids' value come from?

Is it because I say they are? Or because they are good in school? Or because they're such nice kids? Well, all of those are true. They are good in school (sometimes) and they are nice kids (sometimes). And I happen to think that they're pretty great. But that isn't why my kids are valuable. They are valuable because God says they are. That's it. There is nothing they can do to make themselves any more or less valuable.

The problem is that as parents, we tend to only give them value based on our authority. "You're valuable because I say you are." To a point, we need to do that. But we also can't neglect the idea that our authority is nothing to God's. God's authority is the ultimate authority, and we also have to remind our children of their value in God's creation. I know so many adults, myself included, who don't have the proper self esteem because they didn't learn as children their value in Christ.

As I denied that I would ever forget my daughter, I started thinking of reasons I would forget her- like a traumatic brain injury or Alzheimer's, or some other terrible thing. I didn't mention them to her, but as I started worrying, I thought, great, now I'll be a liar and that will really devastate her.  That's the trouble with placing the hope in a person... there's always the chance you'll be let down. But see, God isn't going to get a traumatic brain injury or Alzheimer's or have any other reason to forget us. God will always be there.

So I'm going to be more intentional about reminding my kids that even if I fail, and let's face it, I will, some way or another, God won't. Even if they fail, God isn't going to love them any less.

How do you remind your kids of their value in God's eyes?

Thank You Judy Blume

[caption id="attachment_4040" align="alignleft" width="150"] Yes, that is my actual childhood copy![/caption]

My little princess has had a hard time with reading, primarily because she has significant audio and visual processing issues. So in our house, with my stacks and stacks of books, a lot of our books sit... waiting. Today, though, we had an incredibly awesome moment. She asked me to help her finish reading one of her library books because she had a special book she wanted to check out. Of course I asked her which one it was, sure that it would be a princess something with lots of pictures, because that's pretty much all she reads.

"Oh, Mom, it's this great book. It's got this kid named Fudge in it and there's lots of books in the series. But the one I want is called Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing. Have you ever heard of it?"

Have I ever heard of it?

"Come with me," I told her, and I took her downstairs to the magical bookcase, the place where I keep all of my books from my childhood, plus a few of the older books I like to collect.

As we went downstairs, she got more and more excited. "You have it? Oh, I just know you have it. You always have the coolest books. Do you have all of the books? Oh, I just know you do."

I didn't answer her questions, mostly because I wasn't sure which ones I had. I had saved a few of my childhood treasures, and our eldest daughter went through a "Fudge" phase, where she had to have all of the Fudge books, and I'd kept those. I hoped I had Tales, but I wasn't sure. When I was in my early teens, my mom thought that purging my book collection was a good idea, and she made me get rid of a bunch. I managed to salvage a few, and today, they still remain my treasures. My books got me through a lot when I was a kid, and I'd always hoped to pass on that love to my own children.

[caption id="attachment_4041" align="alignright" width="150"] She couldn't put it down![/caption]

When we got to my magical bookcase, I immediately spied the Fudge books. It took some digging but I finally found... yes, the book she was looking for. In that search, we also found a lot of other great books that I loved as a kid- a lot by Judy Blume. Books my daughter eagerly eyed and commented that she wanted to read because she'd heard they were good. She grabbed Tales off the shelf and immediately began reading. Even though she only got through a couple of pages, my struggling little reader read. And she was mad when I sent her to bed. I suspect that after I tucked her in, she turned on her lamp and kept reading.

People wonder why I keep all of my books. Tonight was one of those reasons. Having a struggling reader means that if she shows interest in anything, I want that book in her hands right away. Part of her processing issue means that if she's excited about it today, she may not be tomorrow, and I will have lost that chance. I love having books to share... with my friends, with my family, but mostly, with my girls.

Tonight also reminded me of a lot of the reason why I write. I was that kid- weird, smart, awkward, and sometimes bullied for it. Judy Blume and a lot of others wrote stories that made it okay to be who I was. My kids are weird. Cowgirl doesn't care that she's different. But my little princess, some days I ache for her because she struggles so much with being different. I write books for people to know that they're not alone. If you're weird or different or have issues, it's okay. You've got someone who understands, and I hope, in those moments when you read my work, you'll feel a little less like it's you against the world.

Thank you, Judy Blume. Thank you for writing the books that encouraged me as a kid. Thank you for writing books I can pass on to my daughter because she relates to them and can actually read them, despite her processing issues. I could fill several books thanking the authors whose work I am thankful for. But I won't. At least not today. Tonight, I want to honor the woman who has always had the courage to share with us, even today as she blogged about her recent battle with breast cancer. How interesting that I have this experience with my daughter the same day she blogged. I thought about writing this in the same way she wrote the first book of hers to catch my eye, Dear Mr. Henshaw, but then I thought it might be awkward if she saw it and actually played Mr. Henshaw and made me answer questions. So I have no questions for her today, just my gratitude.

How about you? Are there books from your childhood that you've passed on to your children?

Church Lessons from my 7yo

As we have all figured out by now, my 7yo doesn't just dance to the beat of her own drummer, she's in a completely different band. Yesterday after church, as I was trying to converse with her about what she learned, I got to hear her interpretation of the lesson. It's very funny, and has no reflection on her teachers (I promise, Matt!)- she just processes differently.

Me: What'd you learn in church today?
Her: I don't know.
Me: Was there anything interesting in church today?
Her: Oh yeah. This girl was there talking.
Me: Which girl?
Her: The one who always wears boots. She's got dark hair and it's in a curly ponytail. I think her name is Chris or something.
Me: Do you mean Kristin?
Her: Yes.
(And, she's right. Kristin wears skinny jeans and boots a lot. She really knows how to rock them. So jealous of her fashion sense.)
Me: What did Kristin talk about?
Her: Well, she said a bunch of stuff. It was funny.
Me: What did she say?
Her: Well, she said blah blah blah, blah blah blah. Only she didn't say blah blah blah, blah blah blah. She actually used words.
Me: (Trying not to die laughing.) So what was so funny about what she said?
Her: She held up signs for us to laugh or clap or to (makes gasping sound) do that. I forget what that is.
Me: Gasp?
Her: Yes. Gasp.
Me: Do you remember what the story was about?
Her: Oh! It was about Jesus asking a guy to baptize him.
Me: Why did Jesus want to get baptized? (Note: We just did baptisms at church. I'm thinking we're about to enter into a deep, spiritual discussion about baptism.)
Her: (looooong sigh) Because when you get baptized it's like dying on the cross and then rising again. (I am thinking YES!!! She gets it!)
Her: (continuing) And Jesus is so sick of having to die on the cross every single year, and then having to rise again, and then having to be born again every Christmas. So now he's just going to get baptized so he doesn't have to keep doing it every single year.

(At which point, I am having to try REALLY hard not to die laughing, because she is truly indignant at how horrible it is for Jesus to have to die on the cross EVERY SINGLE YEAR. I mean really, he's sick of it, okay? So just stop making him do it already!)

This, my friends, is my world. Or her interpretation thereof.

Tuesday Tea Time: When you want to run away screaming

Um, yes, this happens to me frequently. Mostly because I am a super introverted mommy with a super extroverted high maintenance terrorist diva daughter and I find it best for all parties involved for mommy to go have a little tea time with her BFF. Said BFF also has a terrorist diva daughter (though hers is not as extreme as mine. Not that it's a competition. I'd gladly let someone else win.). On this particular day, however, we also wanted to run away screaming from the wonderful men we married.

YUM!

These are the days when the only thing that will do is being in an Asian restaurant (preferably Chinese) where the nice wait staff comes by with great frequency to refill your tea pot. Frankly, I don't care which kind of tea they give me, because most of the time, any good Chinese place will give you a pot of the house Jasmine and it's really quite good. Or maybe I'm desperate. Either way, I don't care. It's tea. When you ask me what keeps me from having to check into a loony bin, I'll tell you- tea. There is nothing a pot of tea won't cure. Sometimes it takes several pots, but it always works.

One of these is a tea menu.

Anyway, the last time I ran away, it was dinnertime, and since I could not cope with the idea of cooking AND dealing with my family, I told my BFF to pick a restaurant, and as long as I got my pots of Asian tea, I was good. She chose sushi. Now, I've never really braved the real stuff without my beloved Camy Tang, but that night, I was REALLY brave and did sashimi. I did not die. I didn't even gag. I would even say it was quite good. Which is saying a lot since I just looked up the place, and the reviews say it's not that great.

We ended up at Wasabi Sushi Bar. The patio seating was great, and I loved the ambiance. Nothing like drinking tea and watching the sunset. The service was a little slow, but since I ended up arriving an hour early (and getting some nice quiet time in), I am not complaining. They also had a tea menu, which impressed me, since most of these places have maybe two or three choices. I also had the plum wine. Best part of the whole night-

Tastes great with wine!

Me: "I'll have the plum wine and a pot of the decaf green papaya pineapple tea."
Waitress: "You want two drinks?"
Me: "Yes. A glass of plum wine and a pot of tea."
Waitress: "You want hot tea?"
Me: "Yes. I want hot tea."
Waitress: "So you want plum wine AND hot tea?"


It finally occurred to me that it is apparently weird to want a glass of wine and a pot of hot tea. This poor lady gave me the strangest look, and gave my friend the same look when she showed up and ordered the same thing (she got a different tea- the orange creamsicle tea, which was delish). For the record, the combination of a glass of wine and a pot of tea is nothing short of a miracle cure when you've had a horrible day.

So, when you want to run away screaming, even though the online reviews from people who are really into sushi aren't that great, I think you should try this place. The plum wine was excellent, the tea pretty good, and I liked the food. Plus, if you're there when it's nice enough to sit on the patio, the sunset is amazing. By the end of the night, you'll be empowered to go home, give that sweet little terrorist girl a big hug, then give your ball and chain great husband a big smooch and thank him for letting you have such a nice evening.

How can I resist?

This is my little cowgirl. I'm not much on cow-anything, and I really hate the smell of being around horses, cows, and pretty much any barnyard animal. If you'd have told me that I'd be spending my days outside an arena, I'd have told you that you were nuts. But here I am. I still think the animals stink. I still need a ton of allergy medication to hang out in a barn. However...

Just look at that smile.

My sweet cowgirl loves horses. On riding day, she wakes up with a smile that doesn't quit until she goes to bed.


So even though this horse thing is definitely not my thing, I can't resist the joy of a little girl doing what she loves. I may not be a cowgirl, but I am a cowgirl's mama.

The almost not quite but still scary day

We went to Water World yesterday. There are no pictures, something you should all be thankful for. No one wants to see me in a bathing suit. Except maybe hubby.

Hubby's cousin invited us to go with her- she doesn't have small children anymore, but she loves riding water slides. So she called me up and asked to take us. And of course, I said yes. A decision I regretted the moment she started talking about the crazy rides she planned on taking us on. *gulp* I am not the adventurous sort. At least in terms of going on scary rides, heights, things that spin, and pretty much anything you'd find at an amusement park. Let's put it this way- "It's a small world" is my favorite ride- EVER.

However, God gifted us with two little daredevils. An important rite of passage in our family has been when our girls are tall enough to ride rollercoasters. Me, I'm clinging to the fact that my littlest is still not tall enough (barely) to ride. Because she's my excuse not to go. You know, "sorry, I couldn't possibly, I need to stay with the little one." However, she's inching taller and each year, is able to ride scarier and scarier rides.

So I find myself doing more daring things, riding scary(ish) rides, and trying to encourage my girls to be brave where I am not.

Back to the water park. The kids wanted to start off with a scary, wedgie-inducing ride that I knew would have me completely freaking out, but I'd have to do it or else the little one couldn't go. Fortunately, our cousin decided that she wanted to see how well the kids did on less scary rides because she'd never seen them swim before. PHEW! That bullet dodged.

We rode a number of rides, all the while planning on when we'd do the scary ones. They laughed at my love for the lazy river, but after lunch, went on anyway. Which really meant I owed it to them to do the scary ones, right? We passed one I'd rode at another park about a year ago. Another ride I'd prefer not to do, but have done multiple times because the little one needed me with her. So even though I HATE this slide, I'd resigned myself to doing it and all the other scary slides. The kids talked about riding it, but then they saw THE BIG ONE. I'm talking death-defying, scary, I don't know why they have this stupid slide, and why millions of people haven't DIED on it, but I'm sure I will be the first. So we headed toward it.

Which was when the skies got dark, the clouds rolled in, and little raindrops began falling. We decided to let the little one ride a kiddie slide to see if the storm would blow over. We discovered that the kiddie pool is thousands of degrees warmer than the other pools, which made me and the little one want to stay there because it had gotten a lot colder all of a sudden. Our cousin and older daughter were still plotting about riding THE BIG ONE.

And then we saw it. Lightning streaking across the sky, which caused the lifeguard whistles to shriek the blessed sound- everyone out of the water.

We went back to our covered area to wait out the storm. An hour later, the storm had not subsided, they closed the park, and we went home bearing rain checks for another day of fun.

Bullet dodged.

I had a great day, despite being nervous about all the scary rides to come, and I didn't have to go on a single ride I didn't want to. That said, we have in our possession passes to go on another day. And knowing my kids, I'm not sure I'm going to get so lucky next time.

How do you deal with having kids who need you to do things that scare you?

My baby is 7

And I'm sad... :( I can't believe how fast she's growing up.

My Lenten project with her worked out okay... I kept forgetting to blog about it mostly because for her, the computer is a competitor for my attention, and so I tried really hard not to be on the computer when I was with her. Which meant less time to get all my work done. So I didn't follow through as much on my blog.

I did learn a few important things by taking that extra time with her. And I'm learning to re-prioritize some things and let go of things I thought were important, but in the grand scheme of things just aren't... at least not compared to my sweet little *sob* seven year old.

So in honor of her birthday (and really, I should do this more), I want to tell you seven things I love about my seven year old:

1. She's very creative. Some days I am amazed at how interesting her ideas are- I have no idea where she comes up with them.

2. She's a very loving girl. She will love on just about everyone. Even when she's at her worst, the people around her can't help but love her.

3. She has a vibrancy for life... I can't explain it other than to say that when she's in a room (unless she's in a bad mood, then look out), everything just sparkles more.

4. She's very girly. I never wanted a girly girl. But I'm learning that having her encourages me in more feminine pursuits, which is weird, but it can be fun. So I'm really glad I got one anyway.

5. She's eager to be helpful. If she sees me doing something, she'll often ask if she can help or do it with me. She likes to be recognized as a "helper."

6. Her laugh is contagious.

7.  Even on the worst of the worst days, we have stolen moments, when she snuggles up to me, and gives me the sweetest look, and I know that she is worth it. I just love her!

And, because I can't get enough of my little angel, here's an explanation of the picture- she's practicing piano (because she wants to be a singer on stage when she grows up), wearing her soccer shoes (because she just played soccer in the yard with the neighbors. Note the girly shoes and socks.), and her girly ballerina outfit (because she just got back from dance lessons.). I'd also be remiss if I didn't point out her hairdo- she's growing out her bangs because that's the style her friends are going for, and she likes to make them "pretty," so she's got this funky bang ponytail, which she loves.

Dinner conversations at our house

I've had a really bad stomachache all afternoon and evening. I don't feel sick, but my stomach really hurts. So I didn't eat much when we sat down to eat. The kids noticed and asked why, so I explained I had a tummy ache.

A little while later, I did the rude dinner thing no one likes to talk about. Yes, I farted. Loudly, I might add. Hubby looks at me and says, "feel better?"

I looked at him and said, "yep," thinking the matter was dropped.

A few minutes pass, and the 6yo says, "so that's why your tummy hurts! You had to fart!"

So I said yes, and she decided to continue the conversation. "Does your tummy still hurt?"

"Yes."

Then she picks up the bottle of barbecue sauce. "Is this made from beans?"

"No, why?"

"Well, beans make people fart, so if you drink the whole bottle, your tummy would feel better."

At which point, I started laughing so hard that it made my poor tummy hurt even worse. When you have a stomachache, laughter is NOT the best medicine. Though eventually, I'll enjoy the story without my poor tummy hurting.

Discussion with my 10yo about crack

Today, we had some great mother-daughter bonding time at the grocery store. I can't remember what she was doing, but it was some kind of stupid thing kids do in stores. Hence, the following conversation:

Me: "Are you smoking crack again?"
10yo: "No!" Long pause. "I don't even know what crack is."
Me: "Good. Keep it that way."
10yo: "Is it like pot?"
Me: "Yes."

We walk a little ways, and then she stops.
10yo: "Mom? What's pot?"

I am a slacker of a blogger

And I have a million reasons why, but I'm here now, so I'm calling it happy.

The daughter project is going as well as can be expected. In my struggle, I've thought up the following new slogans:

Crack kills, but it's better than killing your daughter.
Crack kills, but so does having children.
There are worse things than smoking crack, but I can't think of any.

Okay, fine, I haven't smoked any crack. And okay, fine, I don't plan on it. I'm not sure I'd even know where to get it if I did.

The professionals (who I think would agree that I should start smoking crack) all agree that there is currently nothing to be concerned about and she will grow out of this stage. I may not have any hair left and the rest will be grayer than Father Time, but we will get through it.

So that's this week's update. For now.

I'm not a slacker of a mom, so hahaha

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

My Lent project with my 6yo is um... going. I'm also not beating myself up over it.

I realized that I need to give myself a break when it comes to her. I mean, what other kid has a parent DEVOTING her Lent to figuring out how to help her daughter and connect with her? Don't answer that question if you know of anyone else who is. Let me have my moment.

I will say, for those keeping score, I have been remembering to give my daughter her vitamins every morning before school, AND I have noticed that giving her fish oil every morning has really helped her performance and behavior. So take that!

Today, I had an acupuncture appointment, and she gave me some homeopathic stuff to give to my kiddo. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I am strongly opposed to medicating children, which is why I'm sort of glad (even though I'd really like to know what her deal is) no one will diagnose her. I have a feeling that the logical diagnosis will turn into a long debate with school and medical officials about the fact that I don't want to give my kid drugs. So it's weird that I'm now considering this homeopathic stuff. Granted, it's not like I'm putting speed in my kid, and it is all natural stuff, so maybe it's really not as bad as I think it is. I just really want her brain to develop and for her to learn how to control her behavior without turning her into a zombie.

I'm still not spending the kind of time with her that I'd like, but tonight I'm going to a girl's night out and bringing her along. No, it's not one on one time, but I think she'll have more fun (okay, I KNOW she'll have more fun, because there will be babies present, and she loves babies), and it'll make her feel like a grown up to get to come to mommy's grown up activity.

Is anyone else making progress on their Lenten project? If you're feeling like you're slacking, what can you do to not feel like so much of a slacker?

Catching up with the Scrapbooking times

I am a woman with the best of intentions. I've always loved scrapbooking, and even before it was popular, I'd make fun little scrapbooks with my photos.

So here I am, decades *sigh* later with thousands (yes, I said thousands, much to my shame) of dollars' worth of scrapbooking supplies, and I'm still not even through my 10yo's first year. And we've done some seriously fun things worthy of being in a scrapbook!


A few weeks ago, we had to get a new desktop since the old one is also about 10 years old and making funny noises. I realized the wealth of pictures on that computer and the fact that it's a shame they're just rotting on the computer, much like the ones we have rotting in boxes. Then, our local grocery store announced that they will no longer be offering photo developing services. Well, okay. That saves me from printing the thousands of photos on our hard drive- sort of.

Around that time, one of my friends, who is a scrapbook queen, said something about the fact that she does all of her scrapbooking online. Then, she has them print and ship the album to her. It occurred to me that with all of my good intentions, that might be a good idea. My kids love looking at pictures of themselves, and I'd love to have scrapbooks now rather than later.

So I'm asking my online friends- do you scrapbook? Do you prefer paper or online? What services do you like the best?

The unTwitterable funny kid comment- sort of

The funny stuff my kids say tend to be Tweeted at an alarming rate. I just can't help myself. However, the other day, my kiddo said something I wanted to Tweet SO BAD, but couldn't, because I needed to give proper disclaimers.

My 10yo has a new curse word: Obama.

We were shopping, and chattering about different things, when out of the blue, she says, "Obama," just like you'd mutter a swear word. I asked her what that was about, and so she says, "well, Mom, Obama's pretty much screwed up this country, and he's ruining my chance of having a fun summer vacation, so that's the worst word I can think of."

And maybe I shouldn't, but I think it's funny that in today's world, my 10yo thinks that Obama is a worse word than say, the "f" word. Though I'm not sure if she knows what the "f" word is. She still thinks stupid is a swear word.

Now, before you think that I'm the kind of parent who shoves my politics down my kids' throats, please understand. We don't talk politics at our house. Mostly because I have family members who are aggressively passionate on both sides of the spectrum, and hubby and I have learned to just keep our mouths shut. When my kids asked who I voted for, the answer was, "none of your business." To be honest, I don't want to talk politics with my kids because those are the questions I don't know how to answer. There's such a disparity between reality and what I believe ideally that it isn't going to be an easy discussion. Nor one that gives my kids any answers. After all, I don't have any myself.

And no, I won't go further than that because then, I will get political, and that will get messy, and I don't want to get messy, k?

But here's the thing... as hilarious as I think it is that my 10yo says "Obama" is a swear word, many of my friends would be offended because they still think Obama is the best thing to happen to America since indoor plumbing. The other half of my friends would be having a party to show how even 10yo girls think Obama is the anti-Christ. And you know, it's neither. It's just a funny thing my kid said.

I hate that we have to be so polarized as a nation and that we can't talk about the things that matter to us without having to toss around the D word and the R word like racial slurs. Though it is still pretty funny that my daughter turned Obama into a swear word.

A moment to enjoy...

Over the past few months, we've been dealing with my four year old having really bad eczema. She was referred to a specialist, but they couldn't get her in until today. The specialist walked in, took one look at her, said he knew exactly what was wrong, and promised me a new child within a week. And after his thorough exam and explanation, I believe him.

But that's not the point of my story.

As he examined her, he asked me questions like, "Does she have more behavioral issues than usual?" YES! "Is she grouchy?" YES!

He looked at me and said, "Your daughter is exhausted. She's not getting any sleep because she tosses and turns all night scratching."

Makes sense.

And then he says to me the beautiful words...

"You need to sedate your daughter."

Yes, my friends. FINALLY. Someone who understands my problem. She. Does. Not. Stop. Ever. And this sweet, lovely doctor, looks me in the eye and tells me that the crazy child who drives me nuts really does need to be sedated.

YES!!!

Okay, I know, I should probably not be so excited. But seriously, I never imagined that as the doctor questioned me about my daughter's behavior, and told him about how she drove me nuts, that his answer would be to sedate her. How many times do you wish that were the answer to your problems? And before I get concerned messages or folks sending me to social services, you should know that she's on a very strict medical regimen. And the "sedative" is actually a medication she needs for multiple purposes, and one of the side effects of said medication is that it's a sedative.

However it is such a relief to know that I don't have a horrible child. A lot of the things she's been doing and driving me nuts are, as the doctor put it, because she feels terrible and doesn't have a clue what's going on in her little body. And yes, it is pretty darn funny that part of the solution is to sedate her.

Just let me enjoy my moment.

Revolution!!

My friend Jaime posted this thoughtful blog about how she's seen the light and is using her precious children for labor. I realized that I, too, am a slave to my children. Feeding them, clothing them, picking up after them, helping them with homework, tending to their needs, listening to them whine, and putting up with their general childhood demands.

Jaime's story, however, inspired me. Generations ago, the children did things like chop and carry wood, wash the dishes by hand, help with laundry by hand, weed the garden, scrub floors, only had 2 or 3 different outfits, churned butter, milked the cow, and did anything else their parents asked.

What happened? I'm sorry to say, but it's time to do as our forefathers did and regain control of our destinies. So here it is:

The Declaration of Independence for Mothers

When in course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all adults are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Because our children have denied us the right to pursue Happiness, namely sitting on our rear ends, eating bon-bons, and instead force us into slavery like laundry, preparing them wholesome meals, helping with homework, cleaning the house, and other drudgery from which we should be exempted because we already paid our dues as children.

We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the United Moms of America, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, solemnly publish and declare, That these united mothers are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent people, that they are Absolved from all responsibilities toward their children. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

Danica Favorite