The Unseen Lent

When I first looked at the idea of Lent this year, I really struggled with wanting to do something, yet not wanting to feel hypocritical about it. I had a lot of friends on my blog, Twitter, and FB share their thoughts and ideas. It was so helpful to hear all of the different perspectives.

Then, on Ash Wednesday, I went to a new church, and the reading was exactly what I needed to hear.

Matthew 6:1-6

Showy Religion
1 “Be careful that you don’t practice your religion in front of people to draw their attention. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.  2 “Whenever you give to the poor, don’t blow your trumpet as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets so that they may get praise from people. I assure you, that’s the only reward they’ll get. 3 But when you give to the poor, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing 4 so that you may give to the poor in secret. Your Father who sees what you do in secret will reward you.

Showy Prayer
 5 “When you pray, don’t be like hypocrites. They love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners so that people will see them. I assure you, that’s the only reward they’ll get. 6 But when you pray, go to your room, shut the door, and pray to your Father who is present in that secret place. Your Father who sees what you do in secret will reward you.

I took this from the Common English Bible, and I love the headings of "Showy Prayer" and "Showy Religion." Because I think that's the part that was really bothering me about the whole Lent thing. I'm kind of fed up with the Christians who are out there sounding their trumpets about how great they are that the works of Christ are almost invisible to anyone watching.

So I chose a secret Lent project. Interestingly enough, a comment from one of my nonbeliever friends about Lent got me thinking about how I wanted to honor God in this time, and I'm doing something based on this person's advice. I did end up telling hubby my project, because I needed his help on something, and it's been great to conspire with him to do what I'm doing in secret. In some ways, I feel closer to my husband than ever, because I have this wonderful secret that I share with him, and him only. Some days, I think that I will tell people about it when I'm done, because I truly believe that this thing is transforming my heart in unexpected ways. I want to share it with people who might be able to use it in their own lives. And other days, I am so full of the joy of having this beautiful thing that I share only with my husband and God, and am so mindful of the warnings in Matthew 6, that I don't want to lose it.

For now, I want to encourage you to find a glorious secret- something that is wonderful and brings joy to your heart- to share with God and God alone. Or, like me, with your spouse. While I believe that sharing your faith can be a very good thing, there is something very magical about reserving a private place in your heart just for God.

**

Do you want to win a copy of the leather-like Thinline Bible DecoTone Tan/Brick Red edition of the Common English Bible? I'm participating in a blog tour promoting this new translation, and I will be giving away a copy each week through Pentecost. Just comment on my posts featuring the CEB, and you'll be entered in that week's drawing. Unfortunately, people outside the US are not eligible to win.

The Unseen Lent

When I first looked at the idea of Lent this year, I really struggled with wanting to do something, yet not wanting to feel hypocritical about it. I had a lot of friends on my blog, Twitter, and FB share their thoughts and ideas. It was so helpful to hear all of the different perspectives.

Then, on Ash Wednesday, I went to a new church, and the reading was exactly what I needed to hear.

Matthew 6:1-6

Showy Religion
1 “Be careful that you don’t practice your religion in front of people to draw their attention. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.  2 “Whenever you give to the poor, don’t blow your trumpet as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets so that they may get praise from people. I assure you, that’s the only reward they’ll get. 3 But when you give to the poor, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing 4 so that you may give to the poor in secret. Your Father who sees what you do in secret will reward you.

Showy Prayer
 5 “When you pray, don’t be like hypocrites. They love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners so that people will see them. I assure you, that’s the only reward they’ll get. 6 But when you pray, go to your room, shut the door, and pray to your Father who is present in that secret place. Your Father who sees what you do in secret will reward you.

I took this from the Common English Bible, and I love the headings of "Showy Prayer" and "Showy Religion." Because I think that's the part that was really bothering me about the whole Lent thing. I'm kind of fed up with the Christians who are out there sounding their trumpets about how great they are that the works of Christ are almost invisible to anyone watching.

So I chose a secret Lent project. Interestingly enough, a comment from one of my nonbeliever friends about Lent got me thinking about how I wanted to honor God in this time, and I'm doing something based on this person's advice. I did end up telling hubby my project, because I needed his help on something, and it's been great to conspire with him to do what I'm doing in secret. In some ways, I feel closer to my husband than ever, because I have this wonderful secret that I share with him, and him only. Some days, I think that I will tell people about it when I'm done, because I truly believe that this thing is transforming my heart in unexpected ways. I want to share it with people who might be able to use it in their own lives. And other days, I am so full of the joy of having this beautiful thing that I share only with my husband and God, and am so mindful of the warnings in Matthew 6, that I don't want to lose it.

For now, I want to encourage you to find a glorious secret- something that is wonderful and brings joy to your heart- to share with God and God alone. Or, like me, with your spouse. While I believe that sharing your faith can be a very good thing, there is something very magical about reserving a private place in your heart just for God.

**

Do you want to win a copy of the leather-like Thinline Bible DecoTone Tan/Brick Red edition of the Common English Bible? I'm participating in a blog tour promoting this new translation, and I will be giving away a copy each week through Pentecost. Just comment on my posts featuring the CEB, and you'll be entered in that week's drawing. Unfortunately, people outside the US are not eligible to win.

My baby is 7

And I'm sad... :( I can't believe how fast she's growing up.

My Lenten project with her worked out okay... I kept forgetting to blog about it mostly because for her, the computer is a competitor for my attention, and so I tried really hard not to be on the computer when I was with her. Which meant less time to get all my work done. So I didn't follow through as much on my blog.

I did learn a few important things by taking that extra time with her. And I'm learning to re-prioritize some things and let go of things I thought were important, but in the grand scheme of things just aren't... at least not compared to my sweet little *sob* seven year old.

So in honor of her birthday (and really, I should do this more), I want to tell you seven things I love about my seven year old:

1. She's very creative. Some days I am amazed at how interesting her ideas are- I have no idea where she comes up with them.

2. She's a very loving girl. She will love on just about everyone. Even when she's at her worst, the people around her can't help but love her.

3. She has a vibrancy for life... I can't explain it other than to say that when she's in a room (unless she's in a bad mood, then look out), everything just sparkles more.

4. She's very girly. I never wanted a girly girl. But I'm learning that having her encourages me in more feminine pursuits, which is weird, but it can be fun. So I'm really glad I got one anyway.

5. She's eager to be helpful. If she sees me doing something, she'll often ask if she can help or do it with me. She likes to be recognized as a "helper."

6. Her laugh is contagious.

7.  Even on the worst of the worst days, we have stolen moments, when she snuggles up to me, and gives me the sweetest look, and I know that she is worth it. I just love her!

And, because I can't get enough of my little angel, here's an explanation of the picture- she's practicing piano (because she wants to be a singer on stage when she grows up), wearing her soccer shoes (because she just played soccer in the yard with the neighbors. Note the girly shoes and socks.), and her girly ballerina outfit (because she just got back from dance lessons.). I'd also be remiss if I didn't point out her hairdo- she's growing out her bangs because that's the style her friends are going for, and she likes to make them "pretty," so she's got this funky bang ponytail, which she loves.

I am a slacker of a blogger

And I have a million reasons why, but I'm here now, so I'm calling it happy.

The daughter project is going as well as can be expected. In my struggle, I've thought up the following new slogans:

Crack kills, but it's better than killing your daughter.
Crack kills, but so does having children.
There are worse things than smoking crack, but I can't think of any.

Okay, fine, I haven't smoked any crack. And okay, fine, I don't plan on it. I'm not sure I'd even know where to get it if I did.

The professionals (who I think would agree that I should start smoking crack) all agree that there is currently nothing to be concerned about and she will grow out of this stage. I may not have any hair left and the rest will be grayer than Father Time, but we will get through it.

So that's this week's update. For now.

I'm not a slacker of a mom, so hahaha

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

My Lent project with my 6yo is um... going. I'm also not beating myself up over it.

I realized that I need to give myself a break when it comes to her. I mean, what other kid has a parent DEVOTING her Lent to figuring out how to help her daughter and connect with her? Don't answer that question if you know of anyone else who is. Let me have my moment.

I will say, for those keeping score, I have been remembering to give my daughter her vitamins every morning before school, AND I have noticed that giving her fish oil every morning has really helped her performance and behavior. So take that!

Today, I had an acupuncture appointment, and she gave me some homeopathic stuff to give to my kiddo. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I am strongly opposed to medicating children, which is why I'm sort of glad (even though I'd really like to know what her deal is) no one will diagnose her. I have a feeling that the logical diagnosis will turn into a long debate with school and medical officials about the fact that I don't want to give my kid drugs. So it's weird that I'm now considering this homeopathic stuff. Granted, it's not like I'm putting speed in my kid, and it is all natural stuff, so maybe it's really not as bad as I think it is. I just really want her brain to develop and for her to learn how to control her behavior without turning her into a zombie.

I'm still not spending the kind of time with her that I'd like, but tonight I'm going to a girl's night out and bringing her along. No, it's not one on one time, but I think she'll have more fun (okay, I KNOW she'll have more fun, because there will be babies present, and she loves babies), and it'll make her feel like a grown up to get to come to mommy's grown up activity.

Is anyone else making progress on their Lenten project? If you're feeling like you're slacking, what can you do to not feel like so much of a slacker?

Taking my Lenten project to the mall

One of my friends suggested that since my 6yo is my Lenten project, I should do something special with her every day during Lent. I'm not sure I will survive this project.

Tonight's bonding with the 6yo included meeting up with my BFF and her daughter, who is the 6yo's BFF. We went to the kids' art show, and then to the mall.

Now, I've taken the 6yo to the mall just the two of us. I've even taken her to the mall with my 10yo. But let me say this... taking the 6yo with her BFF is a nightmare that should never be repeated. Us moms (is that grammatically correct? I'm too tired to think) even armed ourselves with margaritas. True story. We had dinner at one of the restaurants in the mall at the beginning of our adventure, so we had margaritas (really yummy ones too!). It didn't help.



As we watched the two little girls swinging their arms back and forth, we both agreed that maybe taking the BFFs to the mall hadn't been the best of ideas for the moms, but those girls sure did have a good time. Even though we didn't succumb to a single "buy me this," the girls loved it. That said, I don't think either of the moms will be brave enough to take the little girls to the mall again anytime soon. Maybe after a few more margaritas and twenty years, we'll try it again.

Rest assured that tomorrow's project with the 6yo will not involve malls, or probably anyplace public. I may have to call it a success if we both survive the day. Her room is an incredible mess and she's already been warned that she will not be allowed to anything until said room is clean. Ah, such is the glamorous life of the mother of my daughter.

Lenten intentions

Well, it's the second day of Lent and I've already blown it. Well, I think I blew it before Lent started.

My original plan for Lent was that I was going to go through Mike Bickle's Song of Songs teaching and really spend Lent on focusing on God's love for us, more specifically, God's love for me. After all, isn't that truly what the sacrifice is about?

I was even going to do it interactively on my blog, and invite my readers to participate.

Only... the 6yo happened. We've had a rough year, well, probably longer than that, with her. The past couple of months, her behavior, particularly at school, has gotten worse. We're back to weekly phone calls from the school. I am incredibly worried about her, and while the school is concerned, they keep telling me that they aren't worried because she has great parents. Ugh. So that's the short version.

How it relates to Lent and my change of plans is this:

Last year, I went to an amazing Ash Wednesday service with my friend Kay Day at her old church. LOVED it. Decided that it would be my tradition every year moving forward. Only with the mess with my 6yo made me forget to arrange things with Kay, so then I decided I'd just go by myself. Only THEN... due to ANOTHER situation at school, I ended up spending my Ash Wednesday morning dealing with my 6yo. And there I was, driving in traffic, passing all these churches with Ash Wednesday signs, 6yo in my car whining about something, and I was mad. Mad that I didn't get to do my church tradition because my 6yo was being a royal pain. Why was God making me deal with her and not get to spend time with Him?

And then it hit me. Here I am, with this little girl who needs her mom to love on her and minister to her, and all I was worried about was how I didn't get to go to my church service. That sounded a lot more like being a Pharisee than a Christian to me. God doesn't care whether or not I go to Ash Wednesday service at this church that I love. He does care if I'm being loving and not resentful toward my daughter.

So this Lent, I am not focusing on me. At least not directly. It's going to be about focusing on my daughter. I haven't completely figured out what that looks like yet, but I do know that it's going to be about giving up some of those moments of "me" so that I can focus on her. No, I'm not going to take it to the extreme of turning her into a pampered little princess. But I am going to look deeper into my priorities to see where they need to be aligned differently. Which is weird, and I never thought I'd go there, especially now, when I am devoting more time than ever to her care, but I want her to be a joy again.

Yes, I know, in the end, this will benefit me. But mostly, I want this time to benefit her. I harbor no illusions that this will "fix" her. I was told yesterday that one (out of many) of her issues will likely take months to fix. I suspect that most of what we're dealing with is just who she is, and in this, we're going to have to find a way to balance the accepted norms of behavior with the fact that she dances to her own song in her own time. Because that's how God made her.

Anyone else finding Lent to be especially challenging this year?