Well, I wasn't going to post this, because it's so intensely personal in relation to some wounds that I'm not ready to deal with publicly, but I emailed it to a few friends, and they were so moved by it because it helped with one of their struggles, that I think I've changed my mind.
In my last post, I mentioned the importance of having friends. Even Jesus had his twelve. We need to have a support system around us as we learn and grow. However, a lot of folks have been telling me about friends who aren't so supportive. Jesus had the same problem. Judas betrayed him to his death. Peter denied knowing him. But here's the crazy thing. Jesus loved them anyway.
He knew what Judas would do. But Jesus brought him along and allowed him to serve alongside him. Jesus knew Peter would deny him. But he reached out and invited him to walk on water. Even the night before the big betrayal scenes, Jesus humbled himself and washed the feet of the men he KNEW were going to fail him when he needed them the most. Then, he forgave Peter and exhorted Peter to carry on his ministry. Judas didn't get so lucky, mostly because he had so little faith that he killed himself. But I bet Jesus would have forgiven him too.
Okay, so I am having a hard time writing the personal part. I can't help it. For a really long time, I've kept myself closed off from others because I've been hurt a lot in the past. This weekend, I experienced so much genuine love and grace from some very dear people. During one of our mega prayer sessions, one of them prayed for me and prayed that I wouldn't keep closing myself off, even though I have some really good reasons why I should.
When God started talking to me about friendships, He talked to me about my twelve. Which are really more than twelve, because I'm not Jesus, so I need a lot more help. Each of them have a different talent, and a different role in my life. Just like the disciples. Some have betrayed me. Maybe some will do it again. Or maybe it'll be different ones.
But like Jesus, I need to find the courage to love them anyway.
3 comments:
Good stuff Danica. God is really working. I can't wait to hear more about the ACFW conference.
BTW - you've been tagged and I spelled your name right this time. :)
Thanks Jan! I'll see what comes out of this mushy brain.
Thanks for sharing that. Once again, I can relate. I was 30 years old before I was able to really feel comfortable around women and feel confident in friendships. I've been let down since, but somehow, God has given me the grace to not give up. I don't know where I'd be without the friends I've had. Now I'm having to collect a whole new bunch! That's hard, too.
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