Can a poop hater be an Urban Homesteader?

I'm about to make a scary confession. I have secret dreams of living off the land and having my own self-sufficient place where I don't ever have to leave (unless I want to). The realist in me knows that it's not possible right now, especially living in suburbia. However, a couple of years ago, I discovered the idea of Urban Homesteading. Which I quickly dismissed as being too hard, and I have great ideas, but really, I'm lazy. Plus, I hate poop. Of any kind. But seriously, when it comes to having any kind of animal, I'm anti-animal because I don't want to deal with their poop.

Then I became friends with this guy named Justin. Who, God love him, is the biggest activist for a ton of cool stuff I've ever met. Justin just started beekeeping. Which I thought was really interesting because I just read a bunch of stuff about Colony Collapse disorder and am now really concerned about bees. So I decided to start using natural ways of killing pests so I don't kill bees. Except, when I showed interest in Justin's bee project, he says, "I could build you a hive."

Um, crap. Me? With bees? I'm scared of bees! I avoid them, and I've always been afraid of stings because of my bad allergies. However, last fall, I experienced my first bee sting and did not die. Plus, bees do not make poop that I have to clean up. So I started thinking about his offer. And I mentioned it to hubby. Who seemed as ambivalent about my wild ideas as he always is. Then we went to Justin's house. He showed us the bees. He gave us a DVD about bees (which I haven't watched yet, but I will.). And then hubby gave me the most excited expression he gives about almost anything in relation to getting bees.

Yup, I think we're getting bees.

4 summers ago...

Okay, so bees don't make me a total nut. But Justin also showed us his chicken coop for his future chickens. Yes, backyard chickens are big in urban homesteading. I will admit, I've been somewhat intrigued by the idea of chickens as pets ever since I met my friend Shelley. She rescues chickens. She even talks about them on her blog. I've never been able to forget the words she spoke to me, probably five years ago, "chickens are really loving pets." Yes, loving. That's what she called them. This has intrigued me for years. However, I am still recovering from childhood chicken coop trauma. Let's not talk about it, except to say that I am not excited about chicken poop, and move on.

Back to Justin's future chickens... I offered my support for the endeavor and then told him my hesitation in getting chickens. Namely chicken poop.  But then Justin starts talking about how, if I let them roam my garden, they'll eat the bugs and poop on my plants, which is great fertilizer. My chickens could be free range during the day, then I could lock them up at night so the local foxes don't get them. If I planned it right, I'd never have to clean up chicken poop. Hmm... I think I might be okay with having chickens.

Meant to be?

So, I'm taking a chicken class this weekend.

Oh, and Justin showed me his worm farm. And guess what? It's basically composting your food in a bin, then worms eat the food, and poop. Then you take the poop and dump it on your plants, and you've got fertilizer. I was very impressed that the worm farm doesn't stink... yup, their poop don't stink. So I think I want one of those too.

Now, before everyone hates poor Justin for being a bad good influence on me, I did have these ideas before. He just showed me how to do them. However, I have one more desire to admit to... when I was looking at my chicken class info, I saw they also have goat classes. Let's thank Camy Tang for my goat love. Because she dragged me to visit a bunch of stupid animals (who poop. Remember, I hate poop) and I fell in love with the goat idea so I could spin their fiber. When I was a kid, I had a sweet pet goat who was MURDERED by the family horse. So I'm not sure I can handle the trauma. Or the poop. Plus, I'd just want its fur. I HATE goat milk and goat cheese.

So there it is... my urban homesteading dreams may be coming to life all because I'm learning how to deal with poop. Now if I could get my kids to clean up the dog poop in the yard, my life would be just about perfect.