Dropdown menu

Sunday, February 10, 2008

A day off

My first in three weeks. I am so happy. I slept in, cleaned house, and that's about it.

I've been thinking a lot about the idea of Sabbath, maybe because I haven't had the choice of one in a long time, and I've realized that there's a good reason for it. I am, by nature, an introvert. Now, those of you who know me in cyber-space or see me at the occasional writer's group meetings or conferences might argue that fact. There's a girl in my small group who insists I can't possibly be an introvert. Trust me. I am.

Today, That Man wanted to go to some home improvement place to buy shelving stuff to build some shelves for the playroom. I'm envisioning this really cool Pottery Barn Kids thing I saw with a little seat. I did not want to go. I wanted to stay inside my beautiful, almost clean house and not have to deal with another living human being. So there I am, looking at shelving things that look nothing like the Pottery Barn picture because they're all in pieces, and I just wanted to sit on the floor, put my hands over my ears and cry like a baby. I conned my kiddos into being mostly quiet by playing "the quiet game" and staying silent until I said they could talk again to win a prize. We finally went home, and I sent them off to buy drinks for tonight, and I just sat there, on the couch, enjoying being completely alone.

I wonder what it would be like, to have a day, just like God did, where you could sit and do absolutely nothing. Not have to go chasing off to home improvement whatnots, pick up girl scout cookies (did that today too), make sure the bills get paid, scrub the toilets, figure out when we're going to buy valentines and make the silly little valentine box for school, and oh, yeah, since my Lent thing has been narrowed down to spending time in Scripture, get right on that one. The truth is, even if I had a real day off, I don't think I'd know what to do with myself. I've filled my life with so much busy-ness that as much as I crave calm, I go a little nuts when faced with the prospect. I have too much to do in too little time.

Today, my wonderful Man surprised me. As part of our church's Lenten experience, we're doing a silent retreat. Forty hours of not speaking. Of not having to worry about the laundry, what's for dinner, whether or not the kiddo wiped her butt, where the best price on lumber is, and how I'm going to get it all together to make sure every little thing is done just right. I asked him earlier in the week if I could go, and he did his usual "maybe" thing. Tonight, he said yes. I'm part excited, part freaked out. But mostly, craving that time for just me and God.

I don't know what your schedule looks like. For a lot of you, it's either as crazy as or even more crazy than mine. I hope you'll find a way to step back, take a deep breath, and give yourself a break. We all need one.

No comments: