Thursday Thirteen #50: Commericals I hate

Thirteen Things about commercials I hate 1. Viva Viagra. It’s number one because I absolutely detest this commercial. It has completely ruined what used to be a pretty good song. 2. All E.D. Commercials. What I really want to know is how much they have to pay these guys to stand up on national T.V. and tell the world they have E.D. 3. “I have genital herpes.” “And I don’t.” Let’s be frank here. Neither of you would have genital herpes if you were more careful in choosing your sex partners. More on that with the next one. 4. Gardasil. Back to my previous frank discussion. What the commercial doesn’t tell you is that HPV is a sexually transmitted disease. We’re spending an awful lot of money helping people not spread disease through medicine when if they just said no, they wouldn’t get the disease either. Now, to be fair, all you can control is you. A good friend of mine got HPV from her husband who got it from a college girlfriend and never knew he had it. But still… the commercial is only telling half the story, and rather than all these commercials with “fixes” for STDs, maybe we ought to think about commercials educating people on a little something called abstinence. 5. Political ads. I am considering not watching TV for the next four months. I’ve already seen a few for the Senate, I think. Ugh. I am so not interested in hearing a bunch of half-truths designed to prey on the emotions of the undereducated. 6. The Sarah McLachlan ASPCA ad. Kill me now. Not only is it ten times longer than the average commercial, but it’s depressing. Yes, abused animals make me sad. However, I’m not giving you a dime to help you continue showing that horrible ad. 7. Alcohol ads. Going to be general here, but I’m so sick of all these ads showing people drinking, having a good time, being irresponsible and then they have the little flash at the end: Please drink responsibly. And how, exactly, did your commercial demonstrate that? 8. Phillip Morris ads. If they’re so committed to helping people quit smoking and preventing teens from quitting, why do they still manufacture and sell cigarettes? Just wondering… 9. Lelli Kelly Shoes. The song is irritating as all get out. But worse, they try to sell you on these shoes that aren’t all that cute by promising lip gloss with the shoe. Ick. Although maybe some of my irritation stems from the fact that my daughter is somehow related to Imelda Marcos and can’t understand why I refuse to buy her $65 shoes. 10. Spike TV ads. “Who’s the hottest woman?” Vote on who’s blah blah blah. Because that’s what real men do. Gag. 11. The Caveman ads. I don’t even know the company… “it’s so simple a caveman can do it.” I’m sorry, why does that make me care about your product? 12. MySpace ads. Okay, these aren’t on TV. But seriously, every time I log into MySpace, I’m bombarded with ridiculous ads. Mostly for rich men in my area looking for wives. Apparently, they failed to notice that my profile clearly says I’m married. Plus, there has to be something wrong with a rich guy who has to advertise on MySpace for a wife. 13. Facebook Ads. They’re smaller than MySpace ads, which is good. They’ve caught on to the fact that I already have a husband, so they keep telling me about how I can lose weight. What I really hate about those ads is that they show women who are too skinny as the idea or women who are not fat as being overweight. Ugh.

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