Changing plans

I am not transitioning well to having my kids in school all day. When I first imagined having the entire day to myself, I imagined more of an idyllic existence than has happened so far. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE it! But somehow, time keeps getting away from me and I'm finding I have far more to do than I'd planned.

I finally realized that the realities of planning for a certain time coming are often not what we expect. Honestly, I thought I could loosen my stranglehold on my schedule when I didn't have as many demands on it. Not true! I'm learning that I have to be even more disciplined.

For example, Words for the Journey started back up today. No problem. That's always been a part of my routine. Afterward, we had lunch. Again, no problem. I got home with every intention of getting some work done. I need to finish revisions, finish a critique, and oh yeah, the job that pays the bills. Imagine that. I checked my email, started working, and then got a phone call from my FIL. He was on his way over to do some work he'd planned on doing the day before, but ended up with something else to do.

I realize this is *my* issue, but I always feel guilty when he comes over to work and I'm not doing something productive or being semi helpful. So, when he arrived, I shut down the computer, and went out back to join in. Then hubby arrived home early, and we discovered a squirrel nest with baby squirrels in the area they were working, so we had to relocate squirrels, bury the one my dog killed, and get it all cleaned up before the kids got home. They raced to soccer, and I went back to work for an hour or so until I had to start dinner. I made dinner, but practice ran late, and my FIL was still working on our shed, so by the time everyone got huddled around the table, I had missed the things I needed to do tonight. Tonight was one of those crazy nights. I had three places to be at 7, and I had every intention of making at least one of them. Guess what? I didn't make any of them.

But here's what I did do: we had a nice family dinner. The kids commented that it had been a long time since we'd had grampa over for dinner. We got to talk and spend time together. Once I realized I couldn't make it on time to anything, I slowed down and enjoyed our dinner. I helped the kids with their homework. Not the raced, hurry up and just do it already nightmare it would have been had we tried to get to the other places, but a leisurely dinner, followed by sitting down and really taking the time to understand the homework and its purpose. And then, since we were home, and I felt guilty about missing church, I sat with the girls and did a nice devotional. Not just whip through it and check it off the list, but really taking the time to understand the point. I had the time to give my daughter, whose eczema has been acting up, a bath and mini massage to ease the itching. We read some books together. And then, because I wasn't racing to get everyone in bed on time because we'd been out so late, I braided my daughter's hair because it's her favorite thing in the whole world.

I'm disappointed I missed the school meeting. I'm sad I didn't get to go to the dinner for a friend who's in town for today only. I wish I could have seen one of my friends get baptized tonight. But I had such a nice night with my girls. I didn't plan it, and I didn't end up checking anything off my list. And it really doesn't matter. Sure, I'll be up late tonight, getting things done. Tomorrow, I'll have to attack the to-do list with a vengeance.

Did I think that life with kids in school all day was going to be as crazy as today? Nope. But I also couldn't have imagined the sweet moment in my daughter's bedroom, with pillows and blankets piled on the floor, all of us girls snuggled together reading books, and all of us being so completely filled with contentment.