Detox Stinks

Okay, so I have a lot more colorful words to describe it, being a writer and all, but most of them are definitely R-rated.

I have not yet started the colon cleanse because it hasn't arrived yet, but I am already on the restricted diet. I've done the diet before, and I don't remember it being this bad. Maybe because my body wasn't this bad off. I'm finding, though, that as my body withdraws from the starches and sugars, I'm having a rough time.

Yes, friends, detox stinks. I've never been able to relate to people addicted to alcohol, drugs, nicotine, and whatnot. I haven't understood the physical pain of giving it up. For some reason, this go-around on the diet, I am having such horrible physical symptoms of sugar withdrawal, I can relate. I am on day six, and I want to die.

One of the hardest things is that since my husband is not on this diet, except for the fact that he eats the diet-friendly meals I cook, is that we have sooo many sweets in the house. For as long as I've known him, he's enjoyed a pastry every morning on his way to work. Guess what's sitting on my counter? Gooey, scrumptious pastries. Every time I pass the counter, I have to make a choice: grab a handful of almonds, which are on the diet, or have a pastry. So far, the almonds are winning.

Actually, what's winning is this: I am sick and tired of feeling this way. I'm tired of being a reasonably young woman who's too tired to do things people twice my age do with ease. I hate that my kids are used to the fact that mommy can't do this or that with them because she doesn't feel good. I hate my husband's resigned sighs when I tell him I have a headache again and he's on his own with the kids. I can feel awful for the next month, or I can feel awful for the rest of my life.

I can better relate to those with more difficult addictions like drugs, alcohol, and whatnot. But as I take each painful step, and my hands can't stop shaking because my body wants sugar so bad or my stomach is telling me I'm not full yet because there's no starch in it to make it feel that way or I'm dizzy and have a massive headache from my body adjusting to it all, I remind myself why I'm doing this.

I am worth it. My kids are worth it. My husband is worth it. And those of you who are thinking of detoxing from something, you are worth it, too. Yes, detox stinks. But what stinks worse is to be ruled by something that doesn't give you real, lasting joy. We deserve better than what our addictions are telling we deserve.