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Friday, October 21, 2011

Loving the body God gave me

Oh previous french fry, I will never forsake thee
I finally got sick and tired of my weight. I don't talk about it a lot because there are still a lot of people who think I'm just fine, and I love you for that. But the reality is that my doctor wants me to lose 30ish pounds, and he's probably right. And yes, I know, compared to a lot of other people needing to lose weight, it's not a lot.

But it's still hard.

So here I am, on this diet recommended by a health care professional, and I'm miserable. I hate it. I got to thinking the other day that there is no way I can eat like this for the rest of my life. I'd rather die of having a fat-related illness than live like this. Which led to even more moaning and groaning about why it's so easy for everyone else, but not for me. I should also add that I don't eat bad to begin with. Part of why I went on the diet was that with exercise alone, I was gaining- both weight and inches. Yes, I know muscle weighs more than fat, but really? Inches too? My pants were getting tighter and I had to go up a pants size.

Then God had a little chat with me. He wanted to know how I would feel if this was my body forever. Would I still be able to love my body if I never became thin again?

Ouch. Because that's the question that I think so many of us never ask ourselves when we think about losing weight. Could we love our bodies as they are? Like God loves us? Sure, it would be better for our bodies to be healthier. Just like it would be better for our souls to be more spiritually healthy. But are we loving ourselves, our bodies, for what they are now, rather than the someday we hope they become?

I'm still on the diet. The good news is that I have a few more days before I can add back in some of the things I had to cut out. I'll do that a while longer, and then I get to add back in a few more things. There are things she says we should never eat, and you know what? She can bite me. I'm not going to completely take away the joy of yummy food. Will I do it in moderation? Yes. But I'm going to balance the ideal me with loving the me that I am. I have a few more curves than I'm supposed to, and I jiggle in places I'd rather not jiggle, but this is the body God gave me. And I'm going to love it for what it is.


Camy Tang said...

I'm sorry the diet is so hard. :( The pic of us eating the chili cheese fries is making me hungry!

Danica Favorite said...

I think it's been so hard because it requires me to cook so much. Plus, it's not things my family enjoys, so I'm having a hard time balancing that. But I'm done with the two week strict diet, so I'm happier now.