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Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Revolution!!

My friend Jaime posted this thoughtful blog about how she's seen the light and is using her precious children for labor. I realized that I, too, am a slave to my children. Feeding them, clothing them, picking up after them, helping them with homework, tending to their needs, listening to them whine, and putting up with their general childhood demands.

Jaime's story, however, inspired me. Generations ago, the children did things like chop and carry wood, wash the dishes by hand, help with laundry by hand, weed the garden, scrub floors, only had 2 or 3 different outfits, churned butter, milked the cow, and did anything else their parents asked.

What happened? I'm sorry to say, but it's time to do as our forefathers did and regain control of our destinies. So here it is:

The Declaration of Independence for Mothers

When in course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all adults are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Because our children have denied us the right to pursue Happiness, namely sitting on our rear ends, eating bon-bons, and instead force us into slavery like laundry, preparing them wholesome meals, helping with homework, cleaning the house, and other drudgery from which we should be exempted because we already paid our dues as children.

We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the United Moms of America, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, solemnly publish and declare, That these united mothers are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent people, that they are Absolved from all responsibilities toward their children. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

Danica Favorite

6 comments:

Cheryl Wyatt said...

ROFL!

LOVE it.

Cheryl

Michele Cushatt said...

Nicely written. Hear, hear!

Eaton Bennett said...

Awesome and so true! Our children do make slaves of us and we let them. Time to turn the tide. Look out kids!
:)

Gina C said...

Hey, I actually implemented something like this a couple of years ago.

Here's the link to the experiment:
http://ginaconroy.com/ginablog/wordpress/2006/06/19/operation-awol-mom-the-experiment/

You can search AWOL on my blog is you want to find out the results!

Ellen said...

My mother was way ahead of her time. My brothers and I were washing dishes as soon as we could stand on a stool and reach the sink. We were "forced" to pick up our toys as soon as we were able to reach into the toy box and hang up our clothes as soon as we could reach the clothes rack in the closet.

siteseer said...

here! here! oh yeah, then we woke up. I often wonder if we do this to ourselves by wanting to do for others. Is it our need of being needed? But if you can get this going I'm definitely on board.