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Wednesday, November 04, 2009

My big fat food confession

As I've mentioned previously, I'm on a hideous diet that my doctor says will make me healthy. Tomorrow, I will be mostly done with the colon cleanse. It is also hideous and nasty. I am so sick of gagging down fiber every morning- literally. Sadly, I still have another week or so on the fiber.

Do I feel healthier? Yes. Do I look healthier? Yes. I think I might have even lost some weight. I don't own a scale, so I'm not sure about that one.

However, I am soooo sick of this diet. I think I'm going to make prime rib for Thanksgiving because I honestly will vomit if another piece of turkey crosses these lips anytime soon. My meat consumption has been limited to poultry and fish and after a while, it gets BO-RING.

I am counting down the days to eating real food by fantasizing about what I will eat when I can finally eat real food.

First meal: Sonic Chili Dog. No, I am not kidding. I want me a chili dog so bad, it's not even funny. I throw things at the TV and cry when Sonic commercials come on.

Second meal: REAL spaghetti and meatballs. No rice pasta, no ground up turkey mush, REAL cheese (I've also been dairy free), and gobs and gobs of fresh french bread. Do you have any idea THE TORTURE of walking through the grocery store when they're pulling out their fresh bread? It's enough to make me homicidal.

Third meal: A big fat cheeseburger. With sauteed mushrooms, onions, and LOTS of ketchup.

I think one of the things I've learned, or am learning, on this journey, is that I really do love food. I like good food, and bad food. I'm going to have to be careful not to totally gorge myself on the bad food when I get done, but to pace myself and work on having a mixture of the good and bad. So maybe I won't have those meals in order, but spread out over a couple of weeks. The good news is that I DO like most good for me foods. I'm fine with eating lots of salads, lots of veggies, and fruits instead of sweets. I just really really like bread and cheese. I'm not sure where the chili dog craving is coming from, but I will admit, I do like a good chili dog. Maybe I can have that with a big fat salad on the side.

As much as I'm all for getting healthy and eating right, I'll be honest. I don't think I could do this forever. I saw a magnet somewhere that says life is too short to drink bad wine. I think it's too short to eat bad food. There has to be a balance in there somewhere. For those who eat all healthy, all the time, my hat's off to you. Because right now, I'm DYING. And all I can think about is the moment when I can finally eat stuff that actually tastes good.


LD Ferris said...

Love your post!

I've tried all the stupid diets were you can only eat certain things, on certain days, at certain times, and I hated them! I'd cheat - in little ways and big ones - and before you knew it, I wasn't really on the diet anymore. After having three kids in 5 years I knew that I needed to watch what I ate, when I ate and how much I'd eat.. but I love all the "bad" food sssssssooooooo much! Cheeseburgers, fries, spaghetti with really rich meaty sauce and lots of cheese... Actually your post has made me really hungry, so I think I'm going to order a pizza ;) Ultimately I discovered that as long as I don't gorge on the bad stuff, and mix in some good stuff with it, I can still indulge, and enjoy, and EAT!!

Thanks for many dining dreams!

Denise Miller Holmes said...

Oh. My. Dear. You are so much like moi. I don't think I could do what you are doing, especially as long as long as you've been doing it. BUT I am ordering Nutrisystem tonight, and am going on their low-fat diet. It isn't horrible, but I love the same foods you do. And, amazing, Sonic chili-cheese Coneys are at the top of my favorite-food list.
So proud of you for sticking with this, my Sonic sister. :)

smithsk said...

You survived Halloween, too!

If your neighborhood was like mine, you gave out lots of candy - and perhaps had some left over.

That may have been quite the temptation.

I love your blogs. Wating for the book to come out.


Gina Conroy said...

I feel for you. Well, actually, I've never done what you're doing, but I'm sure it's super painful! I love food also, and think the way to go (after you get off this diet) is moderation! I'm moderately taking bad stuff out of my usual diet so I don't have to do what you're doing. Right now it's sugar and most junk/snacks. Maybe tomorrow it will be cheese, since tonight we had grilled cheese for dinner! But we LOVE cheese as well, and actually I haven't been piling it on stuff this week. Oh, and in about two weeks, I'm cheating on the sugar thing with Cheese cake and Chubby Hubby. Okay, I'll stop now before you throw something at me!