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Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Birth Control for those without kids AND Veronica Mars

Okay, I won't bore everyone else with VM talk until the end of the post. Skim at will. Oh wait, you already do. ;)

I have two stories to share... both happened today...

I'm taking a shower, and Bay walks in, grabs the little potty chair, and leaves. Frankly, I did not want to know what she was going to do with it. Seriously, folks. As a parent, the most valuable thing I've learned is that most of the time, it's best not to know.

I get out of the shower, walk into the living room (naked, thank you very much) and the baby is running around, covered in diarrhea. And, I must say, the only word that came to mind, appropriately, was, SHIT. I grab the baby, pull off her poop encrusted onesie, wipe her down with a washcloth, and throw her in the tub, hoping I hadn't hogged ALL the hot water. Bay comes upstairs and says, "Mom, she pooped." No shit. "Mom, it's really gross and it stinks so bad I have to stay downstairs." Wish I had that option, buttercup.

As I'm running downstairs, carrying the poop clothes, the doorbell rings. Remember, I'm naked. And I'm running right past the door. I figure whoever's there will go away, because I am NOT answering the door. I throw the stuff in the washer, grab a robe, and begin cleanup. Bay decides to get in the bath with the baby. The potty chair, believe it or not, was sitting in the middle of the living room, and YES, the baby did use it. However, when one has explosive diarrhea, especially one who is potty training, it has a tendency to land in other places. Like everywhere.

I clean up the mess, get dressed, check the door to find flyers from whoever had been at the door, get the kids out of the bath (and then have to clean soggy bathroom), and go about my day.

So then, the next funny story (aka birth control #2), I come home from work tonight, and That Man was being especially sweet and sexy. (It's okay, you can vomit. I won't tell you about his sweet, soft lips and all that stuff). Bay was snuggled with him, and I got between them. That Man kept smooching on me, and it was very very nice. And then I hear a "AHEM!" The kid was still in our bed, awake. I look at her and she says, "Mom, you are in my spot. I was having Daddy time."

I tell her that it's my turn now and if she doesn't like it, she could go to her own bed. Because That Man was being particularly kissable, I kissed him a little more, until we were interrupted-AGAIN-to be told, "That's enough kissing now." I was so ready to kick her to her own bed. Except then she says, "You guys do a lot of that (makes exaggerated open mouthed kissing gestures)-it's too much." I look at her and tell her, "No, that's a good thing. It means mommy and daddy love each other very much and it's good for kids to have mommies and daddies who love each other very much." She looks at me very suspiciously.

Meanwhile, That Man is kissing me on the back of my neck in that spot I like so much, which Bay is watching with great interest between giving me lectures. So I pull away and tell her, "You know, this is only something Mommies and Daddies are allowed to do, right?" She rolls her eys at me. "I'm serious, Bay, this is something only for Mommies and Daddies to do." Finally, I get the "I know Mom" look. And she says, "Can I PLEASE have Daddy time now?"

At this point, I realize I have two options: One, send her to bed and continue my evening with That Man. Which will be futile, because even if I get her to sleep (HA!), the other one will wake up. Kids have sensors that tell them when Mom and Dad are um, busy, that go off and make them interrupt. Fact of parenting, my friends. Once you have children, you will NEVER have sex again. EVER. At least as long as the children are in the house. By the time they leave, you will be old, cranky, saggy, and hubby will be in need of drugs to get things working properly. And the ONE time you do have sex while you have young children, like when you're away for a little romantic rendezvous, you WILL get pregnant. But I'm digressing.

Or I can just give up the fight. Which is what I chose. Probably wisely, because as I headed downstairs, I heard her ask her father when was she doing to get married... I have this conversation with her regularly. It's his turn to deal.

Although the funniest part... In the midst of my laying there getting lots of sweet kisses, we start talking about having another baby (to which Bay is currently vehemently opposed-but she changes her mind regularly). As Bay starts in on her lectures to us, DH looks at me and does his usual, "And you want ANOTHER one?"

Sadly, yes. I know, I'm insane.

On to Veronica...

I did get to see my lost Veronica episode... Thank goodness UPN airs them Sundays.

And tonight, I got to see another. So, let's discuss.

The Logan/Hannah thing: sucks. I want Logan and Veronica together, period. However, the more girls he's with (especially if he is using Hannah-though I think he's having twinges of conscience about it), the less I like him. Why do males have to be such hound dogs?

DYING to know what Kendall is up to, because obviously she's doing old Aaron's bidding (and am I the only one who thinks Harry Hamlin is totally scary looking?), which is at Beaver's bidding. And of course, we know that Beaver has a grand master plan in all of this. I'm fairly certain he's going to use Kendall to get rich and then shove her implanted self into some sort of failure oblivion. I'm hoping it's not at Logan's expense, which I don't think he'd do, since they're friends, although Logan is more friends with Dick and Beaver isn't too into Dick. However, Beaver is dating Mac, and since Mac and Veronica are friends... Have I lost you all yet?

I looked up some spoilers. Supposedly, dumbhead Duncan is coming back for an episode. There's speculation (which Rob Thomas, bless him, denies) that Troy is going to be Veronica's new love interest. Get it through your head, folks... it's Veronica and Logan or nothing for me.

Finally, allow me to express my great pissed-offed-ness at the fact that I have to wait a whole week to learn more. Worse, we all know how that wily Rob Thomas works and all the questions I have from this episode will not be answered for another 2 or 3 episodes. The man is brilliant, I say, brilliant. One day, I'm going to teach a writing class based on the awesomeness of Veronica Mars.

Okay, end of VM discussion.

I'm going to see if I can pry the child out of my bed.

4 comments:

Michelle said...

LOL!!! You're so funny. I know exactly what you mean about the potty training. At least she tried to use it. And *grins* on the Daddy-time. :)

Tori Lennox said...

Re VM, I'm drawing a blank... who's Troy? *g* And, yes, I wish Veronica & Logan would get back together.

Danica/Dream said...

Michelle, it sounds like yours is taking to it though. Mine is a stubborn little you know what. Today, she insisted on wearing pants with no diaper, looked me right in the eye as she pooped and said she didn't have to go.

Tori, Troy is from first season, druggie boyfriend she used to have who skipped town after a lovely drug mystery.

Logan rules!

Tori Lennox said...

Ah, okay. I missed most of the first season.