Because I can't blog about what I'm really annoyed with

Dumb Bumper Stickers.

Since we’re on the blowing up theme, I thought I’d share one of my favorite gripes. Bumper stickers that are pointless and make no sense.

Today’s bumper sticker: Love your children. Stop bombing theirs.

And this means what?

First off, is anyone who is actually bombing someone else’s children going to view this bumper sticker?

I thought not.

Second, if someone who is actually bombing someone else’s children actually views this sticker, will it change their mind? Wow. Two sentences. What a convincing argument. And to think, I don’t even know whose children are being bombed. Yes, I do believe that if I were bombing someone else’s children, I would stop. So that I could bomb yours. Because you’ve irritated me to the point of insanity and I can’t stop thinking about stupid bumper stickers.

However, because I am now obsessing about bumper stickers, I thought I’d point out some other idiotic things people stick on their cars.

Gore for President. Um, he lost. Like a long time ago. Although I do have a really funny observation about that-is it just in Colorado, or have any of you noticed that anyone driving a beat up Subaru has one of these bumper stickers? I have never seen a Bush bumper sticker on a Subaru. Is this some weird political conspiracy, that all Subaru drivers must be democrats?

Just as annoying, however, are the Bush for President bumper stickers. He won. So what? Are you trying to make the poor Subaru drivers feel bad? They don’t need your help, okay? They drive Subarus, for crying out loud. (And lest you think I’ve got something against Subarus, I’ll have you know that my best friend drives one.)

And then, there are the bumper stickers of people peeing on the competitor car brand. And this is funny, because? What I actually think is funnier is that the people driving those cars fit into one of two categories: the car is a rustbucket, and therefore, they need something like urine on someone else’s car to feel morally superior, OR the car is one of those super hopped up monsters with car payments that are so big they have to still live with their mom because they can’t afford a house. Yeah buddy. You guys are cool.

Finally, my rant would not be complete without discussing the “Jesus fish” phenomenon. There’s your basic Jesus fish, which, okay, fine. If you really need to let others know you have some cool symbol of Christianity, then go for it. But when you act like a jerk in traffic, you pretty much negate the whole message. Then of course, you have the smarty butts who think it’s funny to have some sort of anti Jesus fish. Again, why? To show how little respect you have for others. Wow. That certainly shows how you’ve evolved. To follow that up, you have the anti anti Jesus fish to show how Jesus is bigger than anything the anti Jesus fish can dish out. Nice. Again, what have you proven, exactly? Who has the biggest fish? Can you see it, in heaven, when the folks arrive? “Dude, how’d you get saved?” “Man, I saw a great big fish on the backside of some guy’s car.” I’m not discounting God here, because God can use just about anything to bring about salvation. I’m just not so sure that’s the point of driving around with a big fish.

People, this is what I think about when I’m driving and the muse is not speaking to me. I either think about whatever story is bugging me, or some weird obsession over something that irritates me.