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Saturday, July 08, 2006

Idiots and Happiness

I know, they really don't go together well, do they? Although I think idiots really must be happy with themselves, because they seem content to remain idiots. So maybe they do go together. *shrugs*

However, in my life, idiots are a great source of unhappiness.

I'll begin with waking up. I told That Man last night to please get me up in time to get Bay to school and Kay to the doctor's. Well, he woke me up at 8:30 (Bay has to be at school at 9) and says, "Aren't you going to get up?" (As though I was idiot for sleeping in) Yes, I am-as soon as you WAKE ME UP!!!

Now, for those of you who haven't had the pleasure of dealing with me in the morning, I suggest it be an experience you forgo. Particularly on mornings when I am running late. I am mean. I am homicidal. And the very worst transgression you can commit is getting in my way and/or talking to me. Guess who spent the morning following me around? Except for the fact that he's feeling slightly insecure over my regular death threats, I not only would have threatened to kill him, but I might have done it had I been given access to a decent weapon.

You have to wonder at the sanity of a guy who can smile at you, be all kissy face at you, and tell you he loves you while you've got a death grip on a butter knife. But hey, that's why I love him, so I suppose as long as remembers to keep me away from sharp objects when I'm in a mood, he's safe.

Got Bay to school, took my things to the dry cleaners so I can wear something other than sweats and PJs to the CBA thing. Because I am poor, yet thrifty, I chose to try a new drycleaners-one that had a coupon in the coupon thing you get in the mail. They had a map. Said cleaners does not exist. In fact, a cleaners DOES exist at that location, however, it's a different name, and they were pretty adamant about not putting out that coupon. Lady also could not get in her head that I wanted my clothes done by tomorrow. I think she sniffed too many cleaning chemicals. I caved and took my clothes to a place we usually use, and plunked down a small fortune to clean my clothes. Note to self: don't be an idiot and buy dry clean only stuff, even though it's cute.

Hit the Starbucks drive through. Ordered my usual-Venti Earl Grey Tea, Cambric with two honeys. It's really not hard. In fact, it's quite tasty. However, the idiot lady was so busy cooing at my baby that she forgot my honey. Which I did not realize until the tea had cooled enough to drink, ten minutes down the freeway. Now I can drink my tea with honey, I survived quite nicely for a number of years before I discovered this epicurean treat. However, once the palate becomes spoiled, and one is expecting a certain level of tea making prowess, to not have honey in my tea is unacceptable.

Got to the doctor's, and my doc is not in on Fridays, so we got to see the cute one. Which is really the plus side of my daughter's injuries. The paramedics, the ER doc, they were all really cute too. Cute Doc said she was just fine, and mostly spent his time reassuring me that I'm a good mommy. :) That was a very happy moment. Until we got ready to leave and idiot self spilled her Earl Grey tea all over the doctor's office. You know, once you see it seeping into the fabric of a chair, to be enjoyed by no one, the fact that your Earl Grey tea has no honey in it really doesn't matter. You just want your tea back.

Came home, worked on picking up the house, talked to my dad, blah blah blah, picked Bay up from school, went to Subway to get some lunch, ate lunch, talked to my my mom, picked up the house some more, blah blah blah.

Then, I went for my massage. *Doing big happy dance* My friend told me about this place that does $25 massages (Yes, for an HOUR) and they're really good. Super really good. I have an appointment for next week too. At $25 a pop, I can now afford weekly massage. Life is going to be really good. I am pleased to report that no idiots reared their heads during my massage.

Post massage, I went to the store to pick up some fried chicken and dessert-my friend was going to drop off her kiddos at my house so she and her hubster could have a night out. Idiot self forgot that MY kiddos don't like the sides I chose. Idiot self also forgot that friend's children eat nonstop. Needless to say, I spent the evening listening to choruses of, "I'm hungry. Do you have anything else to eat?" They're like locusts. They ate everything in my house. Fortunately, they did not find my M&M stash.

And then, because my FIL needs the steam cleaner, we picked up around the house so we could clean some spots first. This led to my deciding that I liked the cleanliness of things, and because of that idiot who could not allow me to be happy today, I ended up going Rambo cleaning, and cleared out a large portion of DSD's room. And so, all the wonderful relaxation done to my body today-completely undone. My back is killing me.

I had nothing to blog about, until That Man sent me an email. He'd asked me to write it for him, which I did, however, I had a couple of places where I said things like (insert blah blah blah here). He copied me on the final version. He did not insert blah blah blah here, in fact, he sent the exact copy I sent him. *shaking head*

I think there is something wrong with our water. Either that or idiot alien demons took over portions of our brains last night. I'm going to bed now, and hopefully, the idiot interfering with my happy place will be gone in the morning.


Heather Diane Tipton said...

oooh I need to come see you and go for one of those massages! We'll ignore the fact that I would be spending a couple hundred dollars on a plan ticket to save some money on a massage... but hey I would get to see you, right? :-p

Tori Lennox said...

My friend told me about this place that does $25 massages (Yes, for an HOUR)

Oh!!! I am SOOOO jealous!!!!

*hugs on the idiot-filled day!

Jana said...

I'm still giggling over the email with the "insert blah blah blah here."


Down with the idiots! Hope no more pop up outta the woodwork.

Bailey Stewart said...

Oh Danica - I just read your post about Kay - I'm glad she's okay. (((Danica)))

I have an entire family of idiots, so I guess I'm used to it.

I'm still laughing at the email too. Sheesh.

Danica/Dream said...

Thanks guys! Yes, you do need to try one of those $25 massages.