Oh where is my subplot?

(To the tune of "Where is my hairbrush", the best veggie tale song on earth)

So I got a decent crit the other day, once again confirming what I already knew. Not about the chick lit. I still don't know what to do with that one, short of blowing it up. Do you think I could have some terrorists show up in the middle of it and still make it funny?

Picture with me...

"I just don't know what to do with my life."
"I know, it sucks."
KABOOM!!
"What was that?"
"Terrorists just blew up the entire western United States."
"Oh no! What do I do?"
"I don't know. Want to get jiggy?"
"I'm a good girl, I am."
"Well, we might as well get married then. We're going to need to rebuild the earth."

Doesn't that have the ring of "future bestseller"?

Yes, I know, the heat is getting to me.

So my other book... you know, the one I'm pitching in oh, a week? Well, first off, I got the "Hey, you should write Inspirational" comment. Sigh. Am I pitching this Inspirational? Of course not. I'm pitching to the same folks who think I have the right tone and voice, but haven't liked any of my stories. I'm close... and yet, if this is so inspirational, are they really going to want this one? Am I overthinking again?

It doesn't matter-I'm about 10-25K short on words. And so, the brilliant suggestion, which I agree with, because frankly, the main plot can't be elongated any more, is to bring in a subplot. I also have too much introspection. Me? Surely they jest. I should avenge myself by doing a book that's nothing but dialogue. Now that would be funny. NOT.

Can I think of a subplot that works with this story? No. Can I think of a subplot that mirrors my theme? No.

However, I have written three, count them, THREE different new beginnings to the story, because said critique also said I should start from HIS POV since it's his story, and frankly I agree. I originally DID start from his POV, but he sounded like a jerk, so I used her. So I'm back to his POV. Rather than sounding like a jerk, he sounds like a whiney woman.

Do you think it would get too trite if I continually used terrorist attacks as a device? For example, my current scene:
"Do you think you could set me up with a hot babe who doesn't want me for my money?"
"As long as you're not after my wife."
"Hey, look! It's a Hezbollah dude. He's got your wife."

Except if his wife is kidnapped by Hezbollah, he can't get her pregnant. Although... if she's already pregnant, they could kidnap her. But endangering unborn children isn't very sympathetic, is it? And okay, I admit, that having Hezbollah in the book just really isn't going to work with a hyper emotional story of having a miracle baby.

Do you see what I have to work with?

Let us not forget The Book, either. I started to work on it this afternoon, but decided I needed to dig into Scripture, and of course, that got me on a huge Bible study bunny trail, so I got nothing accomplished, other than my own personal journey/growth/whatever. I'm starting to get slightly bitter about this "You won't sell a book until you write this one" stuff. I'm TRYING already!! Okay, probably not as hard as I could be. I probably could be working a little harder on it, but truly, I have no idea what I'm doing. Yeah, that sounds really good to my future fans and would be editor who thinks I'm absolutely brilliant. Sadly, I'm not. That would be God. It's HIS book. Which is really the point, except that I'm being impatient.

So, until such time as God decides to say, "here's the next bit," I'm going to have to content myself with trying to find a subplot without going stark raving mad.