Snoring through church

The "little lady" was on a roll again today.

I got out of the shower this morning, and she sat on my bed, watching me. "Mom," she said in a very serious and urgent tone. "Yes?" "Since I'm a little lady now, I need to get big milks like yours." Yes, in our house, they're called milks. I breastfed each girl for two years, so all they know is the function. I smiled and told her that when she got bigger, she'd get some milks, omitting the part that mine really weren't all that big, and given our genetics, hers probably won't be either. We'll save that particular diasappointment for puberty. Of course, that answer didn't satisfy her, and she informed me, "I going to get milks now, because I'm a little lady now." Great logic. We'll see how that goes for her.

After I took her sister to school, I had to stop by the office to do a quick thing with one client that should have taken 20 minutes. Several hours later, we raced off to big sister's school conferences. However, while we were at mommy's work, my little lady made sure everyone in the office knew she was a little lady. She paraded around the office with her Starbucks. (YES! I bribe my child with Starbucks. It's incentive to be good while I have to work, and YES! It works. And no, for all you worrywarts, she does not get coffee. We do vanilla steamers.) Occasionally, I bribed her with chocolate. And animal crackers. Which sort of worked. For the first hour.

Hour number two, she discovered the vacant office. Which was good, because she wanted to play ring around the rosy in the middle of the area where we had clients. Not good. My boss, who is a grandma, and thought my terrorist was well-behaved, said it was just fine for her to play in the vacant office. The little lady thought she was da bomb. She spun around in the chair, tried to call Timbuktu (I ended up unplugging the phone), and even informed me that "I'm busy, you no turb me," as she slammed the door in my face.

Hour number three, vacant office had lost its charm, so the admin gave her a whole box of papers that needed to go into the shredder box. For thirty minutes, she sat there, putting papers into the box. The little lady strutted around the office like she was the Big Kahuna. And no one, I mean no one, had better try putting anything in the shredder box. That was HER job. However, she grew bored, and I spent the last half hour (trying to clean up a return that someone else did that desperately needed fixing) finding ways to keep her semi occupied.

We escaped the office with sanity semi-intact and no dead bodies in our wake. I put her in the car seat, and she very smugly informed me that she had the keys to the office. Which meant she stole someone's keys out of their desk. D'oh! I returned the keys, and one of my coworkers chased me down, informing me I had a phone call. It was hubby. I informed him that I was racing out of the office to pick up older child because she had school conferences and I begged him to meet us there.

Fortunately, he did, and I arrived at the school with two minutes to spare. As big sister showed us all she was learning, little lady also had to show us her skills. She can count, read, and disrupt the universe without breaking a sweat. Not bad for a girl who will be three in just over two weeks.

After the conference, we decided that big sister, who had been working very hard, had achieved one of the goals we'd set together, which meant going to buy her prize-a movie she'd asked for months ago. Store #1 did not have it. So we decided to grab some dinner before heading to church. Little lady ate half of Daddy's dinner, a portion of Mommy's dinner, and a portion of big sister's dinner. Granted, we didn't order her a dinner of her own, but she usually doesn't eat like that. Apparently, being the executive little lady makes a girl hungry.

We decided that after dinner, we had time to stop at store #2 before church. As we pulled into the parking lot, little lady fell asleep. Little lady had missed her nap. I found the movie, we arrived at church on time, and little lady remained asleep. Daddy stayed in the car with her for a while, and when worship started, he came in, a sleeping little lady in his arms. Halfway through, I convinced him I needed a turn to hold her. Yes, we fight over who gets her when she's sleeping. She's so calm and peaceful. As opposed to when she's awake and terrozing the planet. Then, we fight over who HAS to have her.

I sat there, worshipping God, a beautiful little lady in my arms. In the midst of a very lovely Crowder song, little lady lets a big old snore rip. She spent the rest of worship snoring. When it was over, she jerked awake and was ready to go play with her friends. I got back to my seat, and Dave started talking about beauty. I leaned over and whispered to my husband that the worship experience I'd just had was pretty darn beautiful. I know it sounds strange, but I am crazy in love with the sound of my little lady's snores. Sometimes at night, I sneak into her room just to listen to her snore.

Maybe it's because we have days like this-where she is so incredibly adorable, and yet so incredibly high maintenance and I alternate between wanting to hug her and wanting kill her-that I have to take time out to appreciate the incredible creature God lent me. Or maybe not. But I love the satisfaction of knowing that she can fill her days with so much activity that at the end of the day, she will collapse into our arms, and blissfully snore. Some people might think it's disrespectful to snore through church. But in our family, there is no more beautiful sound.