Trusting in the Sovereignty of the Lord

I've been dealing with a bit of a personal struggle over the past few weeks. And no, I'm not ready to share the details. So let's set this up in a very basic way, and even if you think you know what I'm talking about, you probably don't, so please don't bug me with your guesses. I'll tell the full story when I'm ready. Anyway, the message that has kept coming to me over and over these past weeks is that I need to trust in the Sovereignty of the Lord.

God and I have been wrestling over a particular desire I have for my life for at least a year now. I've had it dangled in my face, taken away, and even once, been given the opportunity to have it, but God said, "not yet." So I didn't take it. Over the past couple of months, everything has been falling into place and I truly feel like He's saying, "GO!"

But I haven't gotten the thing I desire yet.

Every day, I sit in this state of "now? is it now yet?" and not knowing. The one thing God keeps whispering in my ear is that I need to trust in His Sovereignty. Which I understand. And I do trust Him. And I do trust that He's got something great planned. But the waiting sucks.

I think about Abraham, and I wonder, when God promised him a son, how long did it take before he started asking, "now? is it now yet?" and not knowing. I wonder how long the Israelites sat in Egypt, calling out to God, "now? is it now yet?" and not knowing. I don't imagine that any of them ever imagined that God's timetable would be as long as it was. God didn't exactly say, on this date, I will fulfill my promises. Even with the return of Christ, as we all ask, "now? is it now yet?", Scripture tells us that only the Father knows.

But we still ask. We still impatiently wait and wonder. I admit, there are days when I'm a bit depressed that "now" hasn't happened yet. I long for it so badly, and it's still not here. It occurred to me, though, that while longing itself isn't such a terrible thing, we can waste an awful lot of time focused on it. When we focus on the longing, we try to circumvent God's plan by using a slave girl to get the promised son. And even though God will still use our reliance on ourselves to fulfill His purposes, I wonder how much we steal from the joy of getting "the thing" by doing it our way.

There are so many ways I could easily manipulate the situation to my advantage right now. At times, it's tempting. But then this voice whispers in my ear, reminding me to trust in God's Sovereignty. He's not a God who can be manipulated. He has a plan, and I have to trust in it, even if I don't know all the hows and whys and whens. I could live with the first two. But the last is a killer. Especially for a semi-tamed control freak who hates surprises.

Trust in the Sovereignty of the Lord.

How crazy that we even think that it would be otherwise. But we do, don't we?

And yes, I know I'm rambling. You haven't gotten one of these posts from me in a while. I can't help it. It's one a.m., I'm sick, and for the life of me, I can't sleep. I'm dealing with high levels of stress and exhaustion, and the one thing I need, I can't have. But even that, He will use for His purpose.

Whatever you may be waiting on, it's coming. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not for ten years. Maybe not for a hundred. Maybe not for a thousand. Maybe not for ten thousand.

He is a faithful God who keeps His promises. Just because it doesn't happen on your timeline doesn't mean it won't happen. He is, after all, a Sovereign God.