Barbie has puppies

YES, I am procrastinating. If you KNEW what That Man let Those Kids do to my house... you would be procrastinating too.

Oh right. So Barbie and puppies...

Back when I was pregnant with the baby, I got Bay a pregnant Barbie, you know to help her relate and deal with things. So pregnant Barbie... well she has a magnetic stomach that you attach and detach and this little nifty baby fits inside. Bay was quite disappointed that you just took off Barbie's stomach-she didn't push the baby out of her butt. (Yes, I know... I am SCREWED. But man, could you imagine how my life would suck if I had dumb kids?) However, we got over that, and she likes to play Barbie rushing to the altar to get married. We still haven't explained that you have to be married before Barbie gets a baby in her tummy, because that will lead to the inevitable how babies get in mommy's tummy question and given that the girls keep trying to use tampons, I am NOT going there.

I did mention googling boarding schools, right?

Anyway, Kay is going through a flush things down the toilet phase. I think I told the story of her flushing an entire box of tampons down the toilet a while back. So the other day, what does she flush, but Barbie's baby. Oh, I could so go off on some of my mom's L&D stories about babies born in the toilet. But I won't. The kids will want to know what's so funny. And I am NOT-NOT, I tell you, going to go THERE. So here is Kay, giggling, because she flushed the baby down the toilet, but then when she realized it ain't coming back, she got upset. Being good mommy that I am, I begin to try to dig baby out of toilet. However, the only thing I was able to dig out of the toilet was some icky gunk that I'm too grossed out to try and identify. Bay is now heartbroken because pregnant Barbie has no baby.

Today, my girls came up with a solution. They have a puppy that fits in there perfectly. So now, we're rushing Barbie to the altar, astride on a zebra, so she can give birth to a Dalmatian. I'm having warped visions of the Christmas story in my head about now.

If my children weren't so bent on becoming cowgirls, they'd make excellent writers.