So I was originally going to blog about the fact that I've had a couple of meltdowns this week due to all the stress in my life. But you've probably figured that out, eh?
However, our friend who's dealing with a rough divorce is in town, and somehow he's ended up staying with us. Which is fine, I'm glad we're able to provide for his need right now. In talking with him, though, I find I keep repeating the same message-the one I've been having to remember for myself with my family and other things. But I'm going to save that message for the enemy prayer blog, which I'll hopefully do tonight.
Then, I got an email from a friend asking me if an offer to stay with us I'd made was still open. I called her and we talked-so come next month, we've got a houseguest for an unspecified amount of time.
It's a crazy thing-on one hand, it's completely not in my personality to allow anyone withing my sacred fortress. However, God has been leading us in this direction for a while. One of the things I've always felt convicted on is that if we have the ability to meet a person's need, we need to do so. It's a conviction that has grown stronger over time. Then, when my brain got totally messed up because of reading The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne and I'd thought that it would be cool to live in community with others. We have friends who open their spare bedrooms to people who need a place to stay. We've always said we'd like to do something like that but never knew of anyone who needed it.
So here is is... our chance to live the faith we've said we wanted to live. All this time, I've felt like I've been waiting for God to jump up and say, "okay, here it is..." Well, it's happening.
The friend visiting now, he's looking for guidance-on being a husband, a father, a Christian. Are we living our lives in such a way that the things we're telling him, teaching him, come to life? Or are we just the hypocrites he's seen in so many others who've disappointed him?
The trouble with saying you believe something is that at some point, you'll be expected to live it. The trouble with a lot of people who claim to have faith is that they never take that actual step of living it. I finally picked up the new Jars of Clay CD, Good Monsters, today, and I think the most interesting thing about it (besides the fact that *gasp* I'm blogging about music other than Todd's) is that one of the main themes of most of the songs, at least in my opinion, is living out your faith in an authentic way-living what you believe.
Am I succeeding? Not so much as I like. Even though I feel like I'm able to act in ways that express my faith, I still am shamed by how little I live what I believe. When we went out with our friend last night, another friend, joined us. Truth be told, the guy is a former friend who stole a lot of money from That Man. What surprised me was how much compassion That Man and his other friend had for this guy. The money that was stolen really hit That Man hard at the time. Honestly, I'd forgotten this guy existed. And yet, the way he was welcomed back into the fold surprised me. I realized that there is still a lot of places in my heart needing to be swept out.
Ultimately, the biggest challenge that comes with living out your faith is that it reveals places where your faith needs to be strengthened. It's crazy-my life is crazy enough as it is. And yet, the craziness excites me. I long for that closeness with God, that further refining of my sinful nature into a more holy creation.
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