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Saturday, January 19, 2008

Real friends

I've got a good friend visiting for the weekend. I'm so happy. Very happy. Giddy, as I mentioned the other day. One of the things that's hit me over the past few days is the value of real friendship.

I don't know what's wrong with me, but I always seem to chase after the friendships that frankly, shouldn't be worth my time. I'm hurting right now over a friend who has been mistreating me for a while. I've been beating my head against a wall trying to deal with it and not understanding why I can't get past this. This week, though, as this person continues to do weird things, God has been showing me so many beautiful, valuable friendships.

So here are a few of the things I've seen in my real friends this week:

1. The friend who talked to me for hours about Saul and David. (I'll be posting that on my Enemy Prayer Blog soon) Regardless of how people treat us, even if they're trying to kill us, we have to behave in a Godly manner towards them.
2. They're so happy to see you/hear from you, they squeal and act all giddy.
3. They take the time to reassure you that your new glasses look really good on you.
4. They say things like, "go home early so you can spend time with your friends. I'll finish up the work for you," and mean it with no ulterior motive.
5. When you're sitting in a coffee shop, enjoying a nice tea and chatting about stuff, and the fire alarm goes off, they make you leave because even though the manager says it happens all the time, they want to make sure you're safe. After all, lots of people die in fires thinking it's a false alarm.
6. They're willing to tell the truth about things, even if it means exposing ugliness in you, or dare I say it, ugliness in themselves.
7. They do things like save you the jar of jellybeans because they think it'll brighten your day.
8. They watch your kids when you're in a bind, treating it like you've done them a favor, even when your kiddo throws up on them.
9. No matter how busy they are, no matter how important what they're doing is, they take the time to make you feel welcome, give you a hug, and let you know that you matter.
10. They reach out in kindness and friendship when you need it the most, understanding that it's not always about them, even if maybe they might be feeling a little needy too.

I had friends who did all of these things for me this week. In small ways, they blessed me. And really, even the smallest of these small things was a huge thing. I've got some really good friends.

I love what John 15:13 says, "greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." We all say we'd die for our friends. But the truth is, we refuse to die every day for many of those we say we care about. We refuse to die to selfishness. We refuse to die to greed. To pride. To self-righteousness. To our needs. To our own wants.

God truly blessed me today in showing me the friends who've willingly died for me this week. They've laid down their lives, stepped into mine, and given me so many precious things. For that, I am truly thankful.


Kay Day said...

You are truly blessed, Danica.
And so am I. Even though I am in friendship transition, I still have wonderful friends, the logistics have just changed.

But I want you to know. I have never squealed in my life. Well, except for when I see a snake.

Robbie Iobst said...

Danica, wow! I loved this one. And I agree with Kay - you are blessed! This past year in Colorado has been a very unusual one for me because in California I was extremely social and spent many, many hours with friends. Here God has told me in no uncertain terms to be more solitary. At first I fought this, but now I am content in this phase of my journey. But I do hope it is just a season. Through out my gall bladder surgery and recovery I have enjoyed the compassion and kindness of so many people. True acts of friendship from many people I don't "hang out" with. For me, in this season of my life, when new friendships happen I know they will be from God, not something I chased.

Kay, I am a squealer, be it a mild one! :0)

Janet Spaeth said...

I definitely squeal and act all giddy when I see you. I'm not sure about saving the jellybeans for you. The purple ones are mine.

Oh, wait. You're my friend. You can have them. And then, you'll share with ME!!! Right???


Danica Favorite said...

Kay, exactly. Sometimes you just have to figure a way to work it out. And it's okay if you've never squealed. some folks freak out when you do.

Robbie, I think the friendships from God are amazing. I can't wait to see what else He brings to you.

Jaen, of course I will. And I'm so happy to see you here. I really miss you! I haven't seen you in forever.

Delia said...

I loved this post! You have perfectly described true friendship!

Danica Favorite said...

Thanks Delia. I think friendship is comprised of so many things, and I'm so blessed to have that.