Revolution!!

My friend Jaime posted this thoughtful blog about how she's seen the light and is using her precious children for labor. I realized that I, too, am a slave to my children. Feeding them, clothing them, picking up after them, helping them with homework, tending to their needs, listening to them whine, and putting up with their general childhood demands.

Jaime's story, however, inspired me. Generations ago, the children did things like chop and carry wood, wash the dishes by hand, help with laundry by hand, weed the garden, scrub floors, only had 2 or 3 different outfits, churned butter, milked the cow, and did anything else their parents asked.

What happened? I'm sorry to say, but it's time to do as our forefathers did and regain control of our destinies. So here it is:

The Declaration of Independence for Mothers

When in course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all adults are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Because our children have denied us the right to pursue Happiness, namely sitting on our rear ends, eating bon-bons, and instead force us into slavery like laundry, preparing them wholesome meals, helping with homework, cleaning the house, and other drudgery from which we should be exempted because we already paid our dues as children.

We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the United Moms of America, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, solemnly publish and declare, That these united mothers are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent people, that they are Absolved from all responsibilities toward their children. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

Danica Favorite