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Wednesday, May 10, 2006


Okay, so I’ve only been blabbing about it for um, oh, I don’t know… since FOREVER. It was FREAKING AWESOME. Uh, yeah. I think that about says it.

So, my little introverted self and my little introverted husband went, found ourselves a nice seat in the front middle, not too close, not too far away, and DEFINITELY protecting my stranger anxiety fears. Yeah, I know, I’m a freak. But God loves me just the way I am (something a little song from our good buddy Big Daddy Weave sings-Get it. You won’t regret it).

Concert starts. Jason Morant-who I’d never heard of until the concert plays. AWESOME stuff. I have never seen people so full of the spirit up there leading worship. His keyboard guy (whose name I don’t remember and am too lazy to look up) was incredible to watch, because he sooo got into it. Jason’s last song, which I can’t remember the name of either-go figure, was such a God thing. As I was preparing to get our stuff ready last night so we could be on the road in the early am, I came under some sucky spiritual attack. So this song came into my head, and I started singing it to myself and fell asleep with it-woke up feeling great, despite almost no sleep. Anyway, I was slightly miffed because I don’t have it in my personal music collection AND I had to miss church for the concert, and I had a feeling our worship team would be singing it. But it was all good, because JASON sang it.

Then, Nate Sallie… I was wishing my Sara had been able to come, because she’d have really been digging on his stuff. Sad to say, I paid almost no attention to Nate because between Jason and Nate, Mike Weaver spoke for a few minutes, and he said something that got God in my ear and breaking a few strongholds that I was praying about. Mike said something to the effect of how he was the fat kid in school who never wanted to be in front of a bunch of people. But there he was, on stage… God says, “hello, my pretty…” I love and hate it when He does that.

My entire life, I have thought of myself as the ugly girl no one likes. Satan gave me lots of evidence to back it up. When Mike said that, it opened my heart just enough to let God in to give me a new name: The beautiful woman God loves. Well, don’t that just beat all. So take that, you stupid devil. God re-named me something that you can’t take away. (Was slightly disappointed that Todd didn’t play New Name, which would have been so fitting, but um, God already made his point on that one, so it was totally not necessary).

Anyway, then Big Daddy Weave got up and they did their thing. Um… can we say, AWESOME? Saying that a lot, so get used to it. You’d think a writer would have better words. I don’t. Originally, when I came to the concert, my prayer to God was that He show me how to love his people. Hearing Todd’s KLOVE thing about My Jesus and how he originally wrote it from a position of frustration, and God not allowing him to use it until he could do it from a position of love really has been hitting me over and over lately. So my prayer was to fix that in me. I know I have a huge lack of love in my heart, and I want so badly for that to be fixed. Well, during Big Daddy Weave, God did His usual, “Hey Dummy,” thing with me, and pointed out that my problem is not lack of love, but unforgiveness.


At least that was my initial reaction, because well, let’s face it. I’ve been a slow learner. And I did tell God to “Bring It” recently, so I just knew that this whole thing was going to be yet another huge deal. And so, as Big Daddy Weave played, God and I had a little talk. By the time he got to “Just the Way I Am”, that whole unforgiveness stronghold-broken. I seriously have peace in my heart about forgiving some people I have not been able to forgive. The Book? All of my work so far has been a compilation of things and situations that I did not forgive. And the Lord says, “NOW we can use it.”

Alrighty then. Did I also mention that He presented me with a list of people I need to go to and ask for their forgiveness for not forgiving them? What is UP with that? Don’t worry, I’m going to do it. I’ve figured out (FINALLY) that it’s just better to do it and get it over with because lack of obedience sucks.

So, on to Todd… first off, the first time he started to talk at the start of the show, That Man laughed and told me, “I know why you like him-he sounds just like you.” I’m not sure if that’s an insult or a compliment to either Todd or I. And like every word on his Reflection of Something album, every word out of Todd’s mouth was something God used to minister to me or to prove God’s point about The Book and the contents of The Book. Because, my friends, the whole premise of The Book is: How do we live our lives as authentic Christ followers?

Which led into the whole idea of being full in Christ. Again, would have liked to have heard my personal favorite, Fullness Found, but you know, neither God nor Todd exist in the “do whatever Danica wants universe.” Huh. No one but me does either. Doesn’t that suck? Of course, if we were in the “do whatever Danica wants universe”, this world would be totally screwed because I’m not nearly as smart as God, as much as I try to play God.

Truthfully, though, the fullness in Christ is the hard one. It’s a great concept, and sure, I’d rather be full of Christ than full of a lot of the crap that only makes me feel more empty than full. But okay, here’s where I struggle-HOW do you do that? You pray for it, obviously, but what else? Because I pray and I pray and, nope, still loving on these worldly desires for fulfillment. Where’s my magic formula.

Then I hear the little voice of Dr. Bruce Wilkinson in the back of my head-that I don’t need to know how. God takes care of that, but only when I’m fully committed. Crap. Guess me and God need to have a conversation about that one too. Either that or I just need to shut up with my “But Gods” long enough to listen. Changing the order to “God and I” might help too.

And then, we had our post concert… Oh I forgot to mention we sponsored a child during intermission. He’s so cute. He has the perfect name: Innocent. Isn’t that the truth… he is an innocent victim of the AIDS crisis ravaging Africa.

So, back to post concert. Met Big Daddy Weave (and Jason Morant during the break), and they were just as cool as could be. Mike Weaver has the most adorable dimples. I know, grown men hate being called adorable, but you know, my babies have adorable dimples, and so does That Man, if you can ever get him to smile. (Which he did during the concert believe it or not).

Then I get to Todd. Well, I was so discombobulated over the Big Daddy Weave crew that I had to hurry to grab my stuff for him to sign. You’d think I’d be more prepared, given all the booksignings I get into, but no. I was a mess, tripped all over myself, probably squealed like a girl, and was so excited that he recognized me from the boards (as long as he didn’t say, crap, there’s that psycho, it’s all good). I’m having conference flashbacks to all my favorite authors that I also had my dork moments in front of, but hey, they still love me.

Ooops, bunny trail. I’m just this bundle of excitement right now, so bear with me. Anyway, Todd was so gracious and so real. The sort of person who really looks at you rather than through you, and I honestly felt like he cared what people had to say. And in my job I have met a lot of folks-famous, on their way to famous, and only thinks they’re famous, and trust me, I know a diva from a real deal. Love that Todd is just that. Of course, I semi got into diva mode with That Man and did the order him about with a wave of my hand thing and felt really bad. I know he is fine with it, but I don’t want others to think I treat him like dirt. I do enough of that as it is.

Then, I was off to track down Jonathan (the violinist in Todd’s band). What can I say about that? Again, SUPER nice guy-very gracious-recognized my name and seemed genuinely happy to meet me. A couple of things about him really hit me. First, you have GOT to see this guy in action. He plays the violin with such passion, I have never seen anything like it. And a couple of my friends are violinists, so I’ve seen all sorts of performances. AMAZING. But the really cool thing, is you could tell he was full of the Lord and not himself. The other super cool thing about him was that he was such a server. Anytime there appeared to be some sort of need-weird equipment thing, set up, tear down, playing for the other bands, he was right there, doing it. I mean, I’d imagine he could have probably taken the attitude of, “Dude, I’m just the violin player,” but he seemed to throw himself into it all. That to me, is an incredible example. Anyway, we chatted, and he had to go do more stuff, so we started to walk away, but he called me back to say goodbye. I wouldn’t have expected it, he had other things to do, but the fact that he took the time to do that… he’s a good egg in my book (not that he wasn’t before).

I have to admit, at that point, I chickened out on meeting everyone else. They all had jobs to do, and I didn’t want to be in the way, so we left.

And look, it’s finally my bedtime, so I’m off to bed, and maybe tomorrow, I’ll post pictures.


Jana said...

Awe, I'm soooo glad you had such a wonderful time and weren't dissappointed with the people. They lived up and exceeded your expectations. That's always awesome.

And glad you had some moments of discernment, too. That's pretty cool, too. :-)

Bailey Stewart said...

Sounds like the concert was everything you needed it to be. Wonderful how it all works out that way. Finding peace within is, to use your word, an awesome experience.

Tori Lennox said...

Sounds like a great concert, but what about Veronica Mars???????????