Ted Dekker et al

So I said I’d blog about these things and Heather kindly reminded me of them.

Ted Dekker… cool dude. Has an amazingly cool speaking voice. Ah yes, Shallow Danica to the rescue! He talked a lot about having compelling ideas, and you know, I had to take an honest look at my writing. I think I’m a good writer, I think I have decent ideas, but am I really a great storyteller? Honestly, I don’t think my stories are all that compelling. Nice-yes. Feel good-yes. But are they what I originally set out to do when I started writing? No. I wanted to be a writer because I wanted to inspire people and make a difference in their lives. I don’t think that I have in any of the ten books I’ve written.

So what does that mean? I have no idea. I know I am called to write. I know I am a good writer. I just don’t know how to do the job I was called to do. God? A little help here please…

Fire alarms… now you get ranting Danica for a moment. The last morning there, the morning I’d blocked out time for a lovely little sleep in, I am jarred from my bed by a fire alarm. I could rant about how pissed I was (and Ted Dekker says pissed is a good word) about being forced out of my bed. But really, the rant is this: when a fire alarm goes off, get your lazy asses out of bed and get OUT. As I forced my way out of bed and OUT of the building, it astounded me to see how many people just opened the door to their rooms and peered into the hallway. No, there was no fire, but you can’t always tell by way of your own view. Which is why you get out and wait for the all clear. I am particularly sensitive to this topic because a local firefighter was just killed saving someone from a fire here. Don’t make someone risk their life because you’re too stupid to get out while you can.

Israel. I’d use the “F” word about now… I had lunch with a way cool editor type guy and we began talking about Israel. Some of you may know that I once lived there. As we talked, he said, “you clearly have a passion for Israel, why aren’t you writing about it?” Um, because I like being alive? Seriously, I do feel God is calling me to wait on this topic, but it was so weird, feeling that passion consume me, and in the context of the discussion we have. This guy and I do not see eye to eye, and I think that’s why I don’t talk about my experience there. He literally said, “I don’t believe that,” when I relayed one story of what I’d witnessed. I do see his points, but I think we’re all so conditioned to believe one side that we can’t accept the validity of the other side. We’ve spent so much time looking at things from a military and political angle, that we’ve forgotten the humanitarian angle, and that real people are suffering-on both sides. Yet we only see one. Eventually, yes, I will do something about all of this. But this is so much bigger than just me, so instead, I sit at the sidelines and watch a part of the world that God dearly loves go up in flames.

James Scott Bell. He gave an amazing talk called Breathe Your Song-Letting God take your story. Did I mention it was AMAZING? I have it on CD, listening to it now. I’d burn a copy for certain people, but it says directly on the CD not to copy, and since we already know I have strong feelings on copyright infringement, I’m not going to. Tee Hee. I will, however, lend my copy to those who would like it, just let me know, you can go on the list, and I’ll mail it to you. Or you can buy your own at www.joycomultimedia.com. Yeah, buy it. It’s totally worth it. Here is the cool part of what he said-my notes, so my interpretation. We’re here because God gave us a song. Our job is to breathe our song and let God take it to the hearts of others. Which of course means staying true to God and being close to Him. The cool, but hard to hear, part was that he said, “Your song may not be ready to leave yet.”

Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe my song is still developing in me. It’s a big song, and I’ve asked God for big things. So maybe I’m just not quite ready, or the world’s not quite ready for me. Either way, here I am.

So that is the final thing I got from the conference that I can share… yes, God is doing some really incredible things in my life right now. Yes, I am still writing. And yes, I still have the dream of becoming published. Here I am, watching people I love and respect as well as people I dislike and don’t respect, finding success and getting published, while here I am, waiting. Learning. Studying. Honing my craft. Praying. Reading.

It really sucks. Yet there is peace in it. Because see, anyone can want to write a book. And if I wanted to, I could probably write something that can get published. But I want to make a difference. I can’t do that on my own. Only God can. So I’m waiting. And it sucks. But I know it will be worth it.