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Monday, May 22, 2006

Who needs a toilet when you have a hole?


This, my friends, is where my toilet is supposed to be. Old floor is torn up, tile is being laid. Thankfully, my time in the Middle East has taught me the art of peeing into holes. Because in many places, the toilet is a hole in the floor, with a little decorative touches added. Ah yes, the useless pieces of information I gather on my travels.

I've also decided that That Man is having an affair-it's got to be some Home Depot worker who works wonders with a skill saw. For those of you who don't get my sense of humor, I'm joking. I do think he does have a serious addiction, and once our house is finished, we will be putting him in therapy. There's something wrong with a man who cries out, "DeWalt," in ecstasy. The other day, he went to Home Depot, and said, "Can I bring you back anything," as if he was headed to the market or something. "Yeah baby, get me a pack of 3/4 inch nails." I swear, that would be the equivalent of a truly sensual experience for That Man.

Hey, now that's a great marketing idea-I'm going to start a line of sexy clothes for wives to turn on their husbands. Tool belts and accessories. Dress her up like a screw driver, and she's bound to get lucky. ;)

Watching the finale of Alias. I can't believe it's really over. Then, I'll get some work done, have a little fun, and maybe, just maybe, by the time I go to bed, I'll have my toilet back. Or not. He's sitting at his desk, probably pondering the beauty of some weird tool he brought home. I'd go help, but I pulled a muscle in my chest last night ripping up the floor and I hurt.

*EDITED TO ADD* I realized that people might be reading this and thinking we're literally using the hole. We're not. We have another working bathroom. Which is good, because the upstairs toilet is still not installed.

2 comments:

Viola said...

Hey Danica! Could you send That Man over to my house to fix the sprinkler head that my Man probably will get to in, oh, I don't, never. Love your blog, btw!

Danica/Dream said...

AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Considering I still have a hole, I wouldn't hold your breath.