Conversations

Yesterday, I blogged about the worry plaguing me. Today, my friend Diane called to catch up, and oddly enough, she's dealing with the same things. Huh. Funny how that works. One of the great points we ended up at was the importance of communication.

I made a point yesterday that God isn't the one ending the conversation. Even though I'm being a big fat silly head, God is still there, letting me know that He loves me anyway. While it's wrong that I continue to worry and butt heads, the thing I do right, and the thing He wants us to do, is that I'm still talking to Him.

Diane is going through a period of extreme testing. She's been in a valley for about as long as I have. And while it's not exactly the same valley, we both seem to be able to relate to where the other is. We both feel like we're right at the edge of finally getting somewhere. However, even though we're so close we can feel and taste victory, it seems that our struggles are even more difficult. We are bombarded with worry. We are bombarded with challenges.

Yet we are victorious.

It sounds odd, but we're getting what we want, even though it seems like we have had to struggle even harder. We both asked a lot of God. When I began the house quest nearly four years ago, I knew it would take a miracle. I asked for a miracle house. Where, in that request, did any of the print read that it would be easy? Miracles are not easy. So here I am, dealing with something hard, and I'm mad that it's not easier.

In our conversation, Diane and I realized that the whole point of these struggles is that God wants us to lift our faces to Him and see Him. "Look to Me," He's calling out. But because we're big dorks, we keep looking inward and whining about our situation. "Look to Me," He tells us again, and we say, "But God, you don't know how hard it is." "Look to Me," He says even louder, "Because I DO know what you're dealing with, and if you'll only trust me, I promise, it'll be okay."

The conversation with God doesn't end there. See, He wants to do great things in our lives. He wants us to have good things. But mostly, He wants to be glorified through our lives. When you pray prayers like Diane and I dare pray, prayers something along the lines of: "God, I want to glorify you through my life," He does just that. Unfortunately for the person behind the prayer, it means you've opened your life up to harder testing and deeper valleys that magnify His work.

After all, it would be a pretty boring story if I said, "I want a new house," I bought a house, and everything worked out perfectly. However, I can honestly say that when this is all over, and we're settled into our new house, that only by the grace of God did it happen. And I think, for those who've been around us the past few years, they will truly see how God worked in our lives.

The conversations are important. Both the ones I have with God, and the ones I have with others along the journey. It's how we grow, see growth, and lay the groundwork for even more in the future.

But I'd still really really like for Him to tell me how. :)