Once Again, Blowing Stuff Up

Yeah, I know, my friends at Homeland Security are loving this. I'm going to tell you a secret about myself. My daughter likes to play on Neopets. Except, as I'd like to remind any men who think they'd like to marry her, she has expensive taste. And, because she is only 6, she sucks at all the games at which you earn the points to buy the expensive little "things". So, being the indulgent parent, I play the games, earn the points, and she spends them. I'm telling you, marrying her off is going to be SUCH a chore.

Anyway, when I'm frustrated with something, I log in to her account, and I blow things up. She gets points, I release stress. Well, I've been blowing stuff up all night. See, when I started this Nano book, I had no idea how challenging it was going to be to me spiritually. I've written books before, but this is the first one, other than the one I'm editing to include more spiritual tones, that is overtly a spiritual book. Well, there was also the one... but we won't go there, okay? And, as much as I'd like to proudly have the "I did the Nano thing" banner again this year, it's not going to happen.

Along the journey, I realized that there is something more important than my goals. EEK! I'm growing. This is hard for a goal-driven person like me. To have to step back and say, the goal isn't important. Because even though I initially said that was the goal, the important thing became God saying, "Hey, there's something important I need to teach you here." I have less than 24 hours left in the challenge, and only 24,000 words written out of 50,000. You do the math. Yes, I've had 20K days (that nearly killed me, and I did NOTHING but write), but I'm not going to do it. I'm not even going to try.

I'm dancing around these chapters right now, because while this book is a definite parallel of the Hosea story, I've taken enough artistic license and deviated from the Bible that there's some differences. Maybe enough that only people who I tell it's a Hosea book will see it for what it is. I don't know. What I do know is that here I am, in a room full of drug dealers, and there's this one-Tony. He's trying to save Gomer from the drug lord and bring her back to Hosea. He's so honorable, he's so amazing, and yet, I have to kill him. There's this part of me that wants Tony and Gomer to end up together, because he's such an amazing man and he loves her so much. And yet, he has to bring Gomer and Hosea back together.

I've written the book out of order, because I was so excited to blow things up. The big explosion? Tony dies in it. Yeah, I know, I ruined the book. It's only halfway. :) But somehow, I have to get Tony and the drug lord to the building before it blows up. AND, I have to make Gomer willing to go with Hosea after it happens. She doesn't have to love him at this point, but she has to go.

In this struggle, I'm learning something about God. He doesn't want these bad things to happen to us. He doesn't want us to get blown up. But like Tony, we have choices. He's made the conscious decision to be where he is at. He's chosen to seek his own form of vengeance rather than trusting in the Lord, and even though he is a wonderful loving man who has good intentions, he's still going to have to live the consequences of his actions. Which is a lot like how we are in our relationships with God. Our intentions are good, but sometimes we're not exactly doing what He wants us to be doing. And sometimes that means suffering negative consquences. The good news is that in the end, we're going to end up in Paradise with God. But the journey itself-it's not going to be perfect or easy.

So what on earth does this have to do with blowing stuff up? I'm sort of in a holding pattern right now, because as I started thinking about what this book meant to me, God did one of his famous taps on my shoulder and now I'm supposed to be reading commentaries about Hosea. As if. Yes, I'm going to do it. And no, I'm not procrastinating. I am researching, so if you want to share any suggestions, please do so. Believe it or not, blowing stuff up helps me think. So I'm off in Neopia, blowing up bad guys, earning points for my kiddo, and by the end of this stage in the journey, I expect she'll be a fully spoiled Neopian Millionaire.

And no, my beloved Tori, I have not forgotten about our beloved Veronica (or Jericho, another shared passion). I am just so freaking homicidal over both shows that I have no comments that I won't get arrested over, so I'll wait until I'm calm and have viewed them again. *batting eyelashes*