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Sunday, April 30, 2006

Injustice Righted


Bless the sweet Lord Jesus

I am crying I am so happy. You see, over the course of the past few years, in pursuing a career as a writer, I have been gravely concerned by the abuse of one of the most important and frequently misused pieces of English grammar. Yes, my friends, I am talking about the apostrophe.

I don't know what is so damn hard about people using this little gem correctly, however, it seems that many of my fellow writers fail to share the love.  As I was working on The Edits, I used an apostrophe, and I thought, "What if... what if *I* am the one who's wrong about the use of my beloved apostrophe?"  I decided to Google it.

For the record, I am right, and much of the writing universe is wrong.  I probably won't get to say that very often, so allow me to bask in that grammatical superiority for just a moment, if you will.

Moment over.

Not only are there some fantastic apostrophe resources out there, but there is, wait for it... The Apostrophe Protection Society.  Oh, I am in love.  If That Man would somehow find a way to harness the power of the apostrophe, he would *so* get lucky.  Sadly, he's probably reading this trying to figure out what the heck an apostrophe is.  Possibly some of you are.  Here it is-the magnificent apostrophe:  '  .

A few resources for those of you who may be, or just may fear that you are, confused about my beloved apostrophe. (The Apostrophe protection society also has a nice summary).
Rules and Examples
A very brilliant and funny site about apostrophes with links
If anything, you must check out this cartoon.  I thought about posting it, but I don't know all the proper rules for posting other people's stuff, so I didn't.  Take note, you apostrophe abusers-if you don't know the rules, don't do it!
Another funny but brilliant cartoon.

My friends-even if you are not a writer-learn these rules.  Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.  And PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE use them in all of your writing-casual or formal.  You know I'm passionate when I start hitting Deuteronomy.  I think that the Lord would agree that even the apostrophe deserves to be loved.

And no, I am not procrastinating.  I was researching a legitimate concern about my writing, and my heart got so full of passion for the apostrophe that I simply couldn't write another word without addressing this horrific abuse in our society today.

10 comments:

Bailey Stewart said...

If That Man would somehow find a way to harness the power of the apostrophe, he would *so* get lucky. Sadly, he's probably reading this trying to figure out what the heck an apostrophe is.

LMAO

Tori Lennox said...

Oh, the whole apostrophe thing drives me insane!!! My parents are really bad about misusing it. Makes me want to scream. But I don't. :)

Heather Diane Tipton said...

ok yeah, I always knew you were messed up... but this takes the cake... :-p

Loreth Anne White said...

Right, you're not procrastinating :). LOL on the apostrophe saga, Dream.

It was a blog surfing Sunday for me and I found your spot. Yay :). Are you taking votes on the two different blogging platforms? Because if you are, I like the one where you have the photo-banner (or whatever it's called) across the top. Verha nice.

Loreth

Danica/Dream said...

Eve, you have no idea how *not* funny it is. I would kill for a grammatically correct anything from him. :) And then I'd jump his bones. ;)

Tori, it's horrific, the way people can misuse it. In public places. On signs. On billboards. On ads. In the FREAKING newspaper. I'm getting all worked up again.

Heather, apparently, you don't know how to use an apostrophe. If you did, you would understand the grievous offense of a misused apostrophe and why I am so upset about it. Go study the reference links I gave.

Danica/Dream said...

Loreth! YAY!! I'm so happy to see you! It's been ages. Now I have to bookmark you so I can visit.

Jana said...

*shakes head* Oy! I hope you never catch me when I get confused on the it's its thing. hehehe I do that ALL the time. I can just never remember what the rule is. And the s's and s' thing gets me confused, too. I swear, I'm not stupid...just apostrahetically challenged. hehehe

I swear I'll try to remember from now on unless I just want to drive you crazy. Then' Im likely to jus't put 'one of the'm things' in j'ust every'where. hehehe

Jana said...

And apparently I can't spell worth a darn either. I meant "apostrophetically". *sigh*

Danica/Dream said...

ROFL Jana!

Okay, I tried to reply with incorrect apostrophes and I just couldn't do it.

Anonymous said...

I'm a retired graphic designer with a printing background. My Dad was a typrographer. Hopefully I know something about this. If there is yet another major million-dollar ad with the wrong apostrophe a shall shoot the TV set (Goodby, old friend).I'm taking about the little number 9 that should appear as an apostrophe after a space bar. Especially in a number abbreviation. Am I the only person in America to understand this? ^*T#@)(*& Microsort, anyway.