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Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Prayer Time

Okay, fine, I'm going to do it... I need some prayer on a couple of things.

The first is that I've been getting really bad headaches for the past few months. For a while I put it down to stress, since I was working so much, and then allergies due to the weather, but I'm really sick of feeling like this all the time. Basically, my headaches are exactly what most people describe as migraines, except that they're sinus headaches. Part of my worry with the headaches is that I've been using a combo of Sudafed, Tylenol, and Caffeine to make it through, which is fine, however, a lot of times, my body becomes so dependent on the medication to function that it becomes this weird cycle of dependence and I hate that. So I'm going in to the doctor tomorrow (which is a total God thing, because I have one of the highest rated doctors in the area, and he usually can't get people in so quickly). I'm 90% positive he'll just say it's stress, yada yada yada, which is part of why I've fought going, but I'm hoping he'll be able to do something (other than try to put me on antidepressants, which is the only thing I don't like about him-he's really fond of those things-and I have HUGE issues with them).

The second is this writing conference I'm thinking about going to. Heather told me about it because it has a lot of nonfic stuff. There's a part of me that says I should go, and yet, as I sit down to commit to going, I am literally having anxiety attacks over it. And while I know Heather is probably going to counter it with it being the bad guy attacking me over it, I honestly don't know that's where this is coming from. Last night, when I read over some of the editor/agent stuff (you get one appointment each day), I literally could not breathe. Every time I even think about it, my heart just thunders in my chest so badly, I feel like it's going to explode. So here are my concerns about this conference:
1. I don't know anyone there. I realize most of you think I'm this social butterfly, however, that's only true if I'm around people I know and am comfortable with. Around complete strangers... let's just say I do not do that. This would be a first for me-committing to going to something where I know NO ONE. (And yes, I know Heather wants to match me up with her friends, but I don't have peace about that idea either).
2. Roommate thing-Cost wise, I should probably have one, but again, that means finding a room with strangers. They have roommate matching, so that's not a concern, but I just don't know if I can do it.
3. The whole market thing. I'm going because of this stupid nonfic book that I'm being forced to write. But here's the deal: I really am not aiming for the churchy people of the world. So why on earth am I putting myself in the path of the very people I DO NOT want to be around? Plus, as I was reading about what the various editors/agents are currently acquiring, big surprise (NOT) to find out that they don't want what I'm writing.

Okay, I'm having a hard time breathing again, so I'll shut up now. Plus, I'm at the need to throw up stage of the headache, so um, yeah.

5 comments:

Heather Diane Tipton said...

Praying Danica. Since you're so sure of what I will say... I won't say anything. I am praying though. Call me later if you need too.

Pammer said...

Praying for you. Listen to the voice of God.

Hugs!

Paula said...

I usually figure if the only thing holding me back is fear, then it's not God talking to me. :o) I know some people attending that conference. Email me: Paula@soulscents.us and we'll talk, okay?

Camy Tang said...

Praying for you. I know you'll make the right decision, God will guide you.
Camy

Danica/Dream said...

Thanks guys... updating in a post in a sec.