Dropdown menu

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Crazy Days are Here again...

Well, I made my goal of having The Room ready by Tuesday. Wahoo. It's done. Bathroom-cleaned. Working on laundry for the fam. Have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Today, we drove to get That Man's Christmas statue-it's an hour and a half drive, each way. But it's a family tradition, so *shrugs*. We had fun.

Apparently, I'm the teacher extraordinaire, because more of the other folks are observing me and taking note. And they keep telling me how great I am. Which is flattering, but I feel like such a doofus, and like I know absolutely nothing. So it's crazy to have all these people telling me how great I am and wanting to learn from me. These are the people *I* want to learn from, so it's really a wild situation. It also means I'm being asked to do more and I keep saying I want to do less. UGH.

Tonight in our Bible study, one of the gals was talking about a speaker she'd heard at a conference recently. One of the comments really got to me-that the sign of a mature Christian is suffering. Well, crap. It's so funny, as much as I think I'm all about Christ, I am STILL afraid of suffering. "I'll do anything for you, Lord, but please, don't make me do that suffering thing." And then she went on to say that sometimes we take the whole suffering thing too literally. Whatever we are going through that's hard could be considered as suffering.

It's been the three roughest years of my life. I keep asking God, "When is it going to get easier?" And here it is, in some ways getting easier, and yet, it's also getting harder. Figuring out priorities, dealing with challenges that attempt to take away things that are important to me. Yeah, I know, it seems pretty lame. Everyone keeps saying I have every right to be tired, stressed, blah blah blah, but I still look at it all as nothing. Maybe I need to stop downgrading it and accept that this is where I'm at.

In some ways, I am getting better, and certainly I've seen a lot of great things in three years, a lot of miracles, and God doing some incredible things. But wow... it's also really sucked. Am I maturing as a Christian? Heck if I know. I feel like every time I think I'm taking a step forward, I realize just how far behind I am.

My challenge for the rest of the week: find someone to watch the kiddos while I'm away since That Man will be working, buy some new pants that fit, balance the old checkbook, go grocery shopping, pick up our newest family member from the airport, get the house cleaned, prep a couple more classes, and probably a few other things that I can't remember. Ugh. Can I be a shallow Christian and consider this suffering?

No comments: