I'm having a hard time with wealth right now. More specifically, my wealth. It occurred to me this evening that I couldn't even pay my mortgage on what most of my clients make in a year. They support an entire family, and yet I wouldn't be able to live. I wonder how they survive. The crazy thing is that they drive nicer cars than I do, wear nicer clothes than I do, have all these cool tech toys that I can't afford.
I gripe because I'm so poor. Because there's a lot that I don't have money for. My pennies scream because I pinch them so hard, trying to make them last the month. But I make three times what my average client makes. Am I just spoiled? I honestly feel guilty for the money I have. Even though it seems like we struggle financially. I'm almost ashamed.
I should probably give a small disclaimer to say that by US Government standards, I am not wealthy. Probably on the very low end of upper middle class, if that high. We're not talking about amounts that would impress anyone if I told them what we made. But still, at this time of year, with the clients I see, it seems like a gross amount.
As I have to listen to creeps who want to take advantage of the system and commit fraud, I get angry. Or when I sit down with a client I strongly suspect is manipulating the system but is technically correct in how they're doing it, I feel like screaming. Because I have so many clients who are decent, hardworking people who aren't lying about their income, marital status, living situation, etc, and they really are living on 1/3 of what I can barely live on.
I know life's not supposed to be fair, but I'm really angry at how unfair it is right now. How, over the past few years, God has doubled our income and I'm still whining about how broke we are. How one of my clients, living off of 1/4 of what I can't live on, is supporting her invalid daughter and grandchild, and is about to lose her house because of an unscrupulous lender and has no idea where she'll go or if she'll be able to help her family members. And then, I look at these other people, supposedly living off of 1/3 of what I live off of, wearing jewelry I'll never be able to afford, driving luxury SUVs, wearing designer clothes, and they're mad because their refund, aka their earned income credit, is less this year because they made more money.
I don't really have anything other than that... just this feeling of discomfort in my gut that says things are not right. I don't feel right about how much money we make. And I don't feel right about how it doesn't seem to be enough. I don't feel right about the fact that there are people in my community grateful for a $1000 refund so they can finally buy a car. I don't feel right about the fact that there are people in my community who have learned to lie and manipulate the system so they can live on easy street.
I also don't feel right about this supposed economic stimulus package. Because as I look into the eyes of the desperate taxpayers who ask me about it every day, I realize that it's just a temporary band-aid. It might ease the strain on people's finances for a month or two, but the reality is that next year, these same people are going to be just as desperate, just as far deep in the hole as they were this time last year. Sure, some of them will have iPods they didn't have before, some might be wearing some new clothes, and others might even have a few other cool new toys. But will it make them any better off?
The truth is, I think wealth and poverty is less about dollar signs and numbers than it is about a state of mind. About our hearts. About our values.
This year, as I prioritize my spending, my budget, and what it means to have what I recognize as numerical wealth, I'm going to be thinking a lot more on using what I have for things of more lasting value.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Manic Monday
Sadly, I don't wish it were Sunday, because I'm working. Last week began my two week straight without a day off time of work. But I actually think it's more like three. Ugh. Oh well. It's only temporary. :)
So since I have nothing really profound to say and I'm thinking I might try to take a nap before I have to head to work, you should check out this marriage series they're doing at our church. Last week, Dr. Craig Blomberg came and gave a really great talk on marriage that I think is equally good for married folk and singles. Click on Part 3 and have a listen. You can also get it for free on iTunes.
So since I have nothing really profound to say and I'm thinking I might try to take a nap before I have to head to work, you should check out this marriage series they're doing at our church. Last week, Dr. Craig Blomberg came and gave a really great talk on marriage that I think is equally good for married folk and singles. Click on Part 3 and have a listen. You can also get it for free on iTunes.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Just when you think you've finally got the juggling down...
You realize you forgot about your daughter having Brownies.
In case you've had a life outside Danicaland, I'll just remind you that it's tax time, and I've been busy-crazy. I'm finally getting my groove on and figuring it out. Today, I got kiddo off to school, got second kiddo off to school, paid her tuition for next month, buzzed by the bank for hubby, had an amazing Panera writing session (seriously, where's my endorsement $$), picked kiddo up from school, went grocery shopping so the family could eat while I'm working (and sadly, broke not only my budget, by my resolve to eat mostly organic. I will NOT read the ingredient labels this month), made chiro appointments for us for this afternoon, put away the groceries, cleaned the kitchen, paid the bills, called our financial advisor about moving some accounts, cleared up a mixup with the insurance company, dealt with all my email, checked the boards, caught up on blogs, and thought, wow, I'm doing so good. Look at all I've done. I'm finally on top of everything. I was just about to break out the Tim Tams to reward myself and I had an awful realization.
My older daughter has Brownies. This afternoon. During our chiro appointments. Oops.
In case you've had a life outside Danicaland, I'll just remind you that it's tax time, and I've been busy-crazy. I'm finally getting my groove on and figuring it out. Today, I got kiddo off to school, got second kiddo off to school, paid her tuition for next month, buzzed by the bank for hubby, had an amazing Panera writing session (seriously, where's my endorsement $$), picked kiddo up from school, went grocery shopping so the family could eat while I'm working (and sadly, broke not only my budget, by my resolve to eat mostly organic. I will NOT read the ingredient labels this month), made chiro appointments for us for this afternoon, put away the groceries, cleaned the kitchen, paid the bills, called our financial advisor about moving some accounts, cleared up a mixup with the insurance company, dealt with all my email, checked the boards, caught up on blogs, and thought, wow, I'm doing so good. Look at all I've done. I'm finally on top of everything. I was just about to break out the Tim Tams to reward myself and I had an awful realization.
My older daughter has Brownies. This afternoon. During our chiro appointments. Oops.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Thursday Thirteen #31: Things I almost did a TT on
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I'll be honest here... I've been thinking about this since last night and could not come up with a decent topic. So here's my possibles. 1. Funny things my kids say. I like to ask my three year old, "whose baby are you," because I think it's really cute the way she says, "oars." But that's about the only cute thing she does. 2. Heath Ledger. I read something somewhere that said the average celebrity lives 20 years less than the average person. Sad. 3. All the stuff I have to do. I started listing and got depressed. Haven't done any of it yet. 4. Books in my TBR pile. I've got more than thirteen. 5. Things I might cook for dinner. But I haven't gone grocery shopping, so we're having leftover chicken enchiladas. 6. What I've done since I last blogged. Eh. I don't remember. 7. Fruits I like. Wow. That was random. I got a spam email about pomegranates, and I think it inspired me. How exactly does one eat a pomegranate anyway? 8. Tea. I like tea. Not sure how to make that a TT. 9. Kids cartoons. Some are good, some really stink. 10. Horrible things my kids say. "Come smell my butt," is at the top of the list, but I can't bear for people to know how horrible my kids are. 11. Computer games I'm addicted to. But that would mean admitting to my problem. Scrabulous, anyone? 12. Things I did while Squirly was here. We'd tell you, but then we'd have to kill you. 13. Signs the world is coming to an end. I watched a show on the History Channel about it. Must be true. *shaking head* |
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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Saturday, January 19, 2008
Real friends
I've got a good friend visiting for the weekend. I'm so happy. Very happy. Giddy, as I mentioned the other day. One of the things that's hit me over the past few days is the value of real friendship.
I don't know what's wrong with me, but I always seem to chase after the friendships that frankly, shouldn't be worth my time. I'm hurting right now over a friend who has been mistreating me for a while. I've been beating my head against a wall trying to deal with it and not understanding why I can't get past this. This week, though, as this person continues to do weird things, God has been showing me so many beautiful, valuable friendships.
So here are a few of the things I've seen in my real friends this week:
1. The friend who talked to me for hours about Saul and David. (I'll be posting that on my Enemy Prayer Blog soon) Regardless of how people treat us, even if they're trying to kill us, we have to behave in a Godly manner towards them.
2. They're so happy to see you/hear from you, they squeal and act all giddy.
3. They take the time to reassure you that your new glasses look really good on you.
4. They say things like, "go home early so you can spend time with your friends. I'll finish up the work for you," and mean it with no ulterior motive.
5. When you're sitting in a coffee shop, enjoying a nice tea and chatting about stuff, and the fire alarm goes off, they make you leave because even though the manager says it happens all the time, they want to make sure you're safe. After all, lots of people die in fires thinking it's a false alarm.
6. They're willing to tell the truth about things, even if it means exposing ugliness in you, or dare I say it, ugliness in themselves.
7. They do things like save you the jar of jellybeans because they think it'll brighten your day.
8. They watch your kids when you're in a bind, treating it like you've done them a favor, even when your kiddo throws up on them.
9. No matter how busy they are, no matter how important what they're doing is, they take the time to make you feel welcome, give you a hug, and let you know that you matter.
10. They reach out in kindness and friendship when you need it the most, understanding that it's not always about them, even if maybe they might be feeling a little needy too.
I had friends who did all of these things for me this week. In small ways, they blessed me. And really, even the smallest of these small things was a huge thing. I've got some really good friends.
I love what John 15:13 says, "greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." We all say we'd die for our friends. But the truth is, we refuse to die every day for many of those we say we care about. We refuse to die to selfishness. We refuse to die to greed. To pride. To self-righteousness. To our needs. To our own wants.
God truly blessed me today in showing me the friends who've willingly died for me this week. They've laid down their lives, stepped into mine, and given me so many precious things. For that, I am truly thankful.
I don't know what's wrong with me, but I always seem to chase after the friendships that frankly, shouldn't be worth my time. I'm hurting right now over a friend who has been mistreating me for a while. I've been beating my head against a wall trying to deal with it and not understanding why I can't get past this. This week, though, as this person continues to do weird things, God has been showing me so many beautiful, valuable friendships.
So here are a few of the things I've seen in my real friends this week:
1. The friend who talked to me for hours about Saul and David. (I'll be posting that on my Enemy Prayer Blog soon) Regardless of how people treat us, even if they're trying to kill us, we have to behave in a Godly manner towards them.
2. They're so happy to see you/hear from you, they squeal and act all giddy.
3. They take the time to reassure you that your new glasses look really good on you.
4. They say things like, "go home early so you can spend time with your friends. I'll finish up the work for you," and mean it with no ulterior motive.
5. When you're sitting in a coffee shop, enjoying a nice tea and chatting about stuff, and the fire alarm goes off, they make you leave because even though the manager says it happens all the time, they want to make sure you're safe. After all, lots of people die in fires thinking it's a false alarm.
6. They're willing to tell the truth about things, even if it means exposing ugliness in you, or dare I say it, ugliness in themselves.
7. They do things like save you the jar of jellybeans because they think it'll brighten your day.
8. They watch your kids when you're in a bind, treating it like you've done them a favor, even when your kiddo throws up on them.
9. No matter how busy they are, no matter how important what they're doing is, they take the time to make you feel welcome, give you a hug, and let you know that you matter.
10. They reach out in kindness and friendship when you need it the most, understanding that it's not always about them, even if maybe they might be feeling a little needy too.
I had friends who did all of these things for me this week. In small ways, they blessed me. And really, even the smallest of these small things was a huge thing. I've got some really good friends.
I love what John 15:13 says, "greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." We all say we'd die for our friends. But the truth is, we refuse to die every day for many of those we say we care about. We refuse to die to selfishness. We refuse to die to greed. To pride. To self-righteousness. To our needs. To our own wants.
God truly blessed me today in showing me the friends who've willingly died for me this week. They've laid down their lives, stepped into mine, and given me so many precious things. For that, I am truly thankful.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Thursday Thirteen #30: Thirteen things that happened thirty years ago
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Since this is #30 for me, it marks a bit of a milestone, and I thought I'd celebrate by celebrating things that happened thirty years ago. 1. Jimmy Carter was President. Walter (who?) Mondale was Vice President. 2. Median household income was $17,000 (YIKES!) 3. A stamp was 15 cents. (Is it my imagination or has inflation on stamps risen more than our income?) 4. A gallon of gas cost 63 cents (again... anyone care to do the math on the inflation of income versus gas) 5. The Camp David Peace Treaty marked peace between Egypt and Israel. (Peace? Really?) 6. Jim Jones and his followers at Jonestown committed suicide. 7. World population 4.4 billion. 8. First test tube baby is born. 9. The first computer bulletin board system is created. 10. The average house cost $54,800 (don't I wish!) 11. Sweden is the first nation to ban aerosol sprays due to the damage they cause to the ozone layer. 12. China lifts a ban on works by Aristotle, Shakespeare, and Dickens. 13. My little brother was born. |
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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Tuesday, January 15, 2008
The Infamous Danica
So I'm in round five hundred million six hundred eighty seven thousand and change of teaching tax related stuff to folks and new hire training. I'm starting to forget which class learned what and I'm having nightmares about not teaching someone something valuable because I thought I taught it to someone else. Anyway, I did another section tonight, and as my students left and the office guy closed up, he said, "So you're the infamous Danica."
Uh, yeah.
What exactly does that mean?
I asked him. And he said, "Well, everyone always talks about you." Uh, now I'm a little scared. He continued, "And when they do, they get this giddy little happy tone as they talk about you."
Now I'm really scared.
Infamous and I make people giddy.
Speaking of giddy, I'm exceedingly so, mixed with a quarter helping of exhaustion. First off, you should know that one of my wonderful, dear, beloved friends is coming to see me this weekend. Okay, her primary purpose isn't me. Her hubby bought a new truck from a place in our area and he wants to go skiing, so she's coming with him. We're getting a cabin for the weekend, the men will be skiing, the women will be indoors, BICHOK, drinking hot chocolate, giggling, and writing up a storm.
And for no particular reason, other than I had a small God nudge, I ended up calling another really good friend I don't talk to all that often, and she got all squealy and giddy when she realized it was me.
I should also mention my other friend and I got squealy and giddy as we planned our non-ski weekend. I was talking to That Man tonight about it, and he's like, "uh, honey, as soon as you two started squealing, I left the room, I have no idea what you two have planned." Party pooper. S'okay. We'll have fun anyway. Stinky boys in the snow, and lovely ladies in the warm cabin by the fire with hot chocolate.
So maybe my post should be about being all giddy and squealy. Because really, that's how I'm feeling, despite the fact I was up way too late last night having girl talk, giggling, squealing, and all that crazy stuff.
I am super tired. But super happy too. My friends get giddy over hearing my voice. In fact, my coworkers get giddy over hearing my name. AND, I'm infamous. Huh. Except I always thought I'd end up infamous for my homicidal tendencies, not for making folks giddy with happiness. Must work on that.
Uh, yeah.
What exactly does that mean?
I asked him. And he said, "Well, everyone always talks about you." Uh, now I'm a little scared. He continued, "And when they do, they get this giddy little happy tone as they talk about you."
Now I'm really scared.
Infamous and I make people giddy.
Speaking of giddy, I'm exceedingly so, mixed with a quarter helping of exhaustion. First off, you should know that one of my wonderful, dear, beloved friends is coming to see me this weekend. Okay, her primary purpose isn't me. Her hubby bought a new truck from a place in our area and he wants to go skiing, so she's coming with him. We're getting a cabin for the weekend, the men will be skiing, the women will be indoors, BICHOK, drinking hot chocolate, giggling, and writing up a storm.
And for no particular reason, other than I had a small God nudge, I ended up calling another really good friend I don't talk to all that often, and she got all squealy and giddy when she realized it was me.
I should also mention my other friend and I got squealy and giddy as we planned our non-ski weekend. I was talking to That Man tonight about it, and he's like, "uh, honey, as soon as you two started squealing, I left the room, I have no idea what you two have planned." Party pooper. S'okay. We'll have fun anyway. Stinky boys in the snow, and lovely ladies in the warm cabin by the fire with hot chocolate.
So maybe my post should be about being all giddy and squealy. Because really, that's how I'm feeling, despite the fact I was up way too late last night having girl talk, giggling, squealing, and all that crazy stuff.
I am super tired. But super happy too. My friends get giddy over hearing my voice. In fact, my coworkers get giddy over hearing my name. AND, I'm infamous. Huh. Except I always thought I'd end up infamous for my homicidal tendencies, not for making folks giddy with happiness. Must work on that.
Monday, January 14, 2008
It's great to be me!
This lovely little MeMe comes from my dear friend, Jan. She makes a great point about how she uses her "great to be me" positive attitude to combat some of the negative stuff that happens. Which is a good reminder for me, because I tend to focus on the negative.
Sooo... Fifteen reasons why it's GREAT to be me. (And no, that was NOT sarcasm)
1. It's great to be me because dinner's already in the oven.
2. It's great to be me because I've got two beautiful little girls.
3. It's great to be me because I have a supportive husband.
4. It's great to be me because I'm getting on track.
5. It's great to be me because I have a lovely home.
6. It's great to be me because I have The Dog.
7. It's great to be me because I have good friends.
8. It's great to be me because we're all reasonably healthy.
9. It's great to be me because I went to Panera today.
10. It's great to be me because my house is mostly clean.
11. It's great to be me because I have a job (and income!)
12. It's great to be me because I live in SUNNY Colorado.
13. It's great to be me because I live in the USA!
14. It's great to be me because my daughter just asked me to read her a book.
15. It's great to be me because I am a child of God.
So why's it great to be you? Share your blessings, and because I'm getting back on track, it's FREE BOOK MONDAY!! Tell me why it's great to be you, and you'll be entered to win a copy of Missionary Daddy by Linda Goodnight.
Sooo... Fifteen reasons why it's GREAT to be me. (And no, that was NOT sarcasm)
1. It's great to be me because dinner's already in the oven.
2. It's great to be me because I've got two beautiful little girls.
3. It's great to be me because I have a supportive husband.
4. It's great to be me because I'm getting on track.
5. It's great to be me because I have a lovely home.
6. It's great to be me because I have The Dog.
7. It's great to be me because I have good friends.
8. It's great to be me because we're all reasonably healthy.
9. It's great to be me because I went to Panera today.
10. It's great to be me because my house is mostly clean.
11. It's great to be me because I have a job (and income!)
12. It's great to be me because I live in SUNNY Colorado.
13. It's great to be me because I live in the USA!
14. It's great to be me because my daughter just asked me to read her a book.
15. It's great to be me because I am a child of God.
So why's it great to be you? Share your blessings, and because I'm getting back on track, it's FREE BOOK MONDAY!! Tell me why it's great to be you, and you'll be entered to win a copy of Missionary Daddy by Linda Goodnight.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Wasted Days and Wasted Writes...
(everyone's singing, right?)
Today is a wasted day. I originally set up today as a daycare day so I could go to critique group. Fifty bucks later, my critique group has disbanded due to our fearless leader getting a job. Leaving me with a whole day and no kid. I know, some of you are saying, "and that's a problem, because?" Because I PAID fifty bucks for daycare. So then, it turns out someone scheduled an appointment at work for me during my off time. I thought, well, I'll just go in to work early today and work the whole day. Um, no. Because last night, when I went to work, these clients came in and had their taxes done by someone else. Which means there is absolutely NO REASON for me to go in to work early today.
So, having paid an extra fifty bucks for absolutely no reason except I thought I might have something going on today and the daycare requires you pay them a month in advance, I thought long and hard about what I'd do with my day.
And because I'm working at being a "professional" writer and achieving my writing goals this year, I stuck to my normal MWF Panera mornings. Yes, yes I did. So I went to Panera and worked a little bit longer than usual.
Which leads to my Wasted Writes. I wrote 30 pages. Ten are complete garbage, and I think five, maybe ten, will never see the light of day. So I have ten USEFUL pages. I'm trying to rewrite chapter one, because I was told that readers weren't engaged until about page 15. That'd be a problem. Today, I wrote ten pages and realized they were boring, too. I wrote another ten. Eh, so-so. Then finally, I got the golden ten I think might actually work. At least until someone else reads them and deems them only slightly less boring than what I originally had.
So why am I telling you about my Wasted Day and and Wasted Write? Other than the fact that I really am bitter about spending so much money on nothing. The thing is, even though I am griping about it being wasted, it wasn't really wasted. I have a tendency, and I think a lot of US society has the same tendency, to value things based on productivity. Why should I be mad at *gasp* having a day all to myself without having a specific plan? Maybe I do only have ten pages, but I also know a lot of writers who'd kill to have ten good pages with only a morning of writing. As far as the twenty I'll probably throw away (I think I deleted five or ten already), I don't think any page you write about your story is truly wasted. In those deleted scenes, you learn a lot about your characters, their motivations, and how they're feeling.
So even if you're like me, feeling like you've wasted a day, wasted precious pages on a MS you're desperate to get out, take a deeper look, because there's something valuable you gained from it, even if it takes a little hunting.
Today is a wasted day. I originally set up today as a daycare day so I could go to critique group. Fifty bucks later, my critique group has disbanded due to our fearless leader getting a job. Leaving me with a whole day and no kid. I know, some of you are saying, "and that's a problem, because?" Because I PAID fifty bucks for daycare. So then, it turns out someone scheduled an appointment at work for me during my off time. I thought, well, I'll just go in to work early today and work the whole day. Um, no. Because last night, when I went to work, these clients came in and had their taxes done by someone else. Which means there is absolutely NO REASON for me to go in to work early today.
So, having paid an extra fifty bucks for absolutely no reason except I thought I might have something going on today and the daycare requires you pay them a month in advance, I thought long and hard about what I'd do with my day.
And because I'm working at being a "professional" writer and achieving my writing goals this year, I stuck to my normal MWF Panera mornings. Yes, yes I did. So I went to Panera and worked a little bit longer than usual.
Which leads to my Wasted Writes. I wrote 30 pages. Ten are complete garbage, and I think five, maybe ten, will never see the light of day. So I have ten USEFUL pages. I'm trying to rewrite chapter one, because I was told that readers weren't engaged until about page 15. That'd be a problem. Today, I wrote ten pages and realized they were boring, too. I wrote another ten. Eh, so-so. Then finally, I got the golden ten I think might actually work. At least until someone else reads them and deems them only slightly less boring than what I originally had.
So why am I telling you about my Wasted Day and and Wasted Write? Other than the fact that I really am bitter about spending so much money on nothing. The thing is, even though I am griping about it being wasted, it wasn't really wasted. I have a tendency, and I think a lot of US society has the same tendency, to value things based on productivity. Why should I be mad at *gasp* having a day all to myself without having a specific plan? Maybe I do only have ten pages, but I also know a lot of writers who'd kill to have ten good pages with only a morning of writing. As far as the twenty I'll probably throw away (I think I deleted five or ten already), I don't think any page you write about your story is truly wasted. In those deleted scenes, you learn a lot about your characters, their motivations, and how they're feeling.
So even if you're like me, feeling like you've wasted a day, wasted precious pages on a MS you're desperate to get out, take a deeper look, because there's something valuable you gained from it, even if it takes a little hunting.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Thursday Thirteen #29: Routines I've missed over the holiday
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1. My Panera writing mornings while small one is in school. 2. Words for the Journey. 3. Lunch at the Lighthouse. 4. Greeting my B when she gets home from school. 5. Giving my girlies hugs goodbye for school. 6. Enforced bedtime. 7. ALONE time. 8. Taking my vitamins and supplements. 9. Feeling like there's order in my life. 10. The kids like each other again now that they aren't spending 24/7 together. 11. Time with my church family. 12. Naptime. 13. Did I mention the kiddos are in bed asleep when I get home? |
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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Tuesday, January 08, 2008
I am so blessed
What a weird thing to say after my last post. But you know, not only did I have some great friends with wonderful insight weigh in, but I also spent some time with some other friends today who also gave me some insight.
We were talking about some other topics that are huge hot buttons for me, and of course, I went off on my rant, and elaborated a little. Because here's another thing I don't understand. This world is so wicked. Why isn't God getting mad enough to do something about it? To be honest, I'm a little peeved at God for not raining down His anger at how awful we've become.
And then my friend brought up a really good point. She said, "well, what makes you think He's not? There's a lot of punishment-type stuff happening in the world, things resulting from our sin, and just as in other times of great sin, the righteous are being punished along with the wicked." Huh. I hadn't thought of that. Well, I sorta had. But of course, my little vindictive self had to say, "Yeah, but why isn't God out there making it known it's God? Why isn't He making it obvious that it's Him and that He's mad?"
Her answer blew me away. "Because it takes away free will."
If we're forced to believe in God by Him coming down out of the Heavens and spanking our little bottoms for being such brats, how exactly are we given a choice to believe in Him.
Wow.
But of course, I couldn't let it stop there. Or maybe God couldn't. So He and I talked about it for a long time this afternoon. I guess I'm not so into grace as I'd like to think, because I have to admit, I'm sorta hoping for a Sodom and Gomorrah sort of thing where God steps in and cleanses us of some of the wickedness. But then I had a sobering thought. All it would have taken in Sodom and Gomorrah to be saved was ten righteous people. Just ten. In two pretty big cities. And they couldn't be found. As much as I'd like to think we've got some righteous people here, are we really? More to the point, am I really? If I lived in one of those cities, and God chose to rain down judgment, would I have been counted among the righteous?
Don't misunderstand me here... I'm not questioning my salvation. The blood of Christ has forgiven my sins. But here I am, furious at all the injustice around me. Furious that evil is so rampant and so prosperous. Furious that really good people are hurting, being hurt, and being taken advantage of by the wicked. And I want the bad guys to be punished. Desperately.
And I wonder, am I really so different from them? Blood is tasting really good on my lips right now. Am I any better than those I would wish to be condemned?
I'm thinking I pretty well deserve the spanking I've been praying all the bad guys should get. And I'm thinking that I'm awfully grateful that God has chosen to overlook my arrogance and love me anyway. I know what's in my heart. It's not real pretty. And I am so thankful that God loves me anyway. I am so blessed. So undeserving of grace, and yet I have absolutely no clue what it means.
Forgive me.
We were talking about some other topics that are huge hot buttons for me, and of course, I went off on my rant, and elaborated a little. Because here's another thing I don't understand. This world is so wicked. Why isn't God getting mad enough to do something about it? To be honest, I'm a little peeved at God for not raining down His anger at how awful we've become.
And then my friend brought up a really good point. She said, "well, what makes you think He's not? There's a lot of punishment-type stuff happening in the world, things resulting from our sin, and just as in other times of great sin, the righteous are being punished along with the wicked." Huh. I hadn't thought of that. Well, I sorta had. But of course, my little vindictive self had to say, "Yeah, but why isn't God out there making it known it's God? Why isn't He making it obvious that it's Him and that He's mad?"
Her answer blew me away. "Because it takes away free will."
If we're forced to believe in God by Him coming down out of the Heavens and spanking our little bottoms for being such brats, how exactly are we given a choice to believe in Him.
Wow.
But of course, I couldn't let it stop there. Or maybe God couldn't. So He and I talked about it for a long time this afternoon. I guess I'm not so into grace as I'd like to think, because I have to admit, I'm sorta hoping for a Sodom and Gomorrah sort of thing where God steps in and cleanses us of some of the wickedness. But then I had a sobering thought. All it would have taken in Sodom and Gomorrah to be saved was ten righteous people. Just ten. In two pretty big cities. And they couldn't be found. As much as I'd like to think we've got some righteous people here, are we really? More to the point, am I really? If I lived in one of those cities, and God chose to rain down judgment, would I have been counted among the righteous?
Don't misunderstand me here... I'm not questioning my salvation. The blood of Christ has forgiven my sins. But here I am, furious at all the injustice around me. Furious that evil is so rampant and so prosperous. Furious that really good people are hurting, being hurt, and being taken advantage of by the wicked. And I want the bad guys to be punished. Desperately.
And I wonder, am I really so different from them? Blood is tasting really good on my lips right now. Am I any better than those I would wish to be condemned?
I'm thinking I pretty well deserve the spanking I've been praying all the bad guys should get. And I'm thinking that I'm awfully grateful that God has chosen to overlook my arrogance and love me anyway. I know what's in my heart. It's not real pretty. And I am so thankful that God loves me anyway. I am so blessed. So undeserving of grace, and yet I have absolutely no clue what it means.
Forgive me.
Monday, January 07, 2008
Third attempt at a blog
Can we say uninspired?
Actually that's not true. What is true is that I have a lot of things on my mind and in my heart, and I've been doing a pretty lousy job at expressing myself coherently. So here it is.
I'm trying to dig myself out of the pit. I've done a lot of really good positive things to improve my day, my life, my mood, my house, my family. I managed to drag myself out of bed, even though I wanted to lay there forever. I did some good things for myself that I needed to do. I'm proud of myself. I wanted to share those things, except they sound kind of silly when I get specific, so there it is.
The other thing on my mind is the idea of justice. Good guys, bad guys, and why it seems like the bad guys win more often than the good guys. I'm getting tired of watching the meanest people I know triumph over the nicest people I know. The people who do everything with so little integrity always getting ahead while the honest ones are stepped on. I hate watching people with integrity give up and cut some corners because it's the only way they can survive. I want to know where God is. I'm not meaning to be blasphemous here, but really... where is He? We all know that He is going to triumph in the end. This is one story that's been spoiled to death: God wins. And yet, there's so much mystery because we don't know how or when.
How long? How long?
The Psalmists wrote about this centuries upon centuries ago. And here we are, still singing the same song. Where is my Deliverer? Where is my help? My Strength? I'm trying to wait patiently for the Lord, but really, I just want to cry and scream and beg and rant and throw the biggest temper tantrum to get Him to notice me.
Here I am. I'm still waiting. We're still waiting. Deliver us. Avenge the wrongs done to us. Give us triumph over our enemies.
Is there anything new under the sun? No, there is not. Not one of my words is anything You've never heard before. Am I just babbling like the pagans? Speaking only to hear my own voice echo against the walls in my own mind?
Hello...
Are you still out there?
Be still and know that I am God. When you seek me with all your heart, there you will find me.
Is my faith not strong enough? If only it were as big as the grain of a mustard seed. Is it not even that big? Give me more faith. Give me more strength to seek deeper.
Actually that's not true. What is true is that I have a lot of things on my mind and in my heart, and I've been doing a pretty lousy job at expressing myself coherently. So here it is.
I'm trying to dig myself out of the pit. I've done a lot of really good positive things to improve my day, my life, my mood, my house, my family. I managed to drag myself out of bed, even though I wanted to lay there forever. I did some good things for myself that I needed to do. I'm proud of myself. I wanted to share those things, except they sound kind of silly when I get specific, so there it is.
The other thing on my mind is the idea of justice. Good guys, bad guys, and why it seems like the bad guys win more often than the good guys. I'm getting tired of watching the meanest people I know triumph over the nicest people I know. The people who do everything with so little integrity always getting ahead while the honest ones are stepped on. I hate watching people with integrity give up and cut some corners because it's the only way they can survive. I want to know where God is. I'm not meaning to be blasphemous here, but really... where is He? We all know that He is going to triumph in the end. This is one story that's been spoiled to death: God wins. And yet, there's so much mystery because we don't know how or when.
How long? How long?
The Psalmists wrote about this centuries upon centuries ago. And here we are, still singing the same song. Where is my Deliverer? Where is my help? My Strength? I'm trying to wait patiently for the Lord, but really, I just want to cry and scream and beg and rant and throw the biggest temper tantrum to get Him to notice me.
Here I am. I'm still waiting. We're still waiting. Deliver us. Avenge the wrongs done to us. Give us triumph over our enemies.
Is there anything new under the sun? No, there is not. Not one of my words is anything You've never heard before. Am I just babbling like the pagans? Speaking only to hear my own voice echo against the walls in my own mind?
Hello...
Are you still out there?
Be still and know that I am God. When you seek me with all your heart, there you will find me.
Is my faith not strong enough? If only it were as big as the grain of a mustard seed. Is it not even that big? Give me more faith. Give me more strength to seek deeper.
Saturday, January 05, 2008
No particular reason
In the movie Forrest Gump, Forrest ends up running all the way across the country. People asked him why he was doing it, and he kept telling them, "For no particular reason." And then, for no particular reason at all, he turned around and ran across the other way.
I keep thinking about that in terms of my life. I might as well just fess up right here and now and tell you all that I'm depressed. For no particular reason. Probably hormonal, given the fact that I have disgusting zits all over my body, in places no grown woman should get them, and really, in no places anyone should have to have them. But there they are. And it could be that I watched this happy/sad/happy movie that usually would be in my hate pile given that it did not end with a satisfying romantic conclusion except she did get rid of the dirt bag hubby. Oops, I just ruined the movie. Good thing I didn't tell you what it was. And it could be that I'm overwhelmed with life. The usual too much to do, no time to do it in, no confidence to back any of it up, but because it's what I do best, I'm faking it real well. And maybe it's that I came to some intense realizations about my life, and I really don't know what to do with it.
But mostly, it's for no particular reason.
Like most Americans, rather than hearing about news that matters like, oh I don't know, people still starving in Africa (old news, really, didn't they have some concert benefit or something), I've seen all the breaking news reports about a certain young pop star who is in the middle of a mental breakdown and as a result is losing custody of her kids. She's been on my prayer list for a while now. I started back when I saw how DSD's soccer team idolized her and I worried about having someone like that as a role model for the kiddos. And that was before the breakdown. Now here she is, her life falling apart and people are stampeding to try and cash in on whatever they can, whether it be photos, interviews, or the exclusive story on why she broke down.
And you know what I want to know? What does it matter? She's just a girl, who, like all of us, is trying to make her way in the world. But unlike us, she can't even use a restroom without getting mobbed for the money shot. I don't live under that kind of pressure and there's days when I'd really like to have the luxury of a breakdown. But unlike her, I have things to do like cooking, cleaning, laundry, paying bills, keeping my little terrorists from blowing up the neighborhood, and all that jazz. I know the pressure I put on myself. Fortunately, I'm blessed with a handful of people who choose to love me and believe in all of my dreams. This woman... she's got an army of people following her around, looking for her to fail. Waiting to capture it for the whole world to see. And see they will, selling record numbers of magazines, getting a record number of hits on websites, and giving a few pathetic souls the right to pat themselves on the back. There's a reason I'm not mentioning her by name.
So what's the big deal with this person? Nothing, really. She sold a few albums, made a name for herself, and for whatever reason, it makes us think we have the right to jump into her life, follow her around, and turn her into a three-ring freakshow. Bravo to us. Why do we do it? No particular reason.
Here we are, at the start of a new year, and I just have to wonder, what's it all for? Why are our lives so empty and meaningless? Why am I sitting here, completely depressed when the reality is that I have nothing to be depressed about? Why is the mental breakdown of a person so much more fascinating to us than finding real solutions to helping people in need? Why can we talk about her for hours and never talk about things that are real?
The truth is, I lied when I said there was no particular reason. There's a reason. One important reason. We're focused on everything but the important reason. We supposedly just spent a holiday celebrating that reason, but let's get real here. All most of us really spent was a little more money than what we had. We need God. I need God.
I keep thinking about that in terms of my life. I might as well just fess up right here and now and tell you all that I'm depressed. For no particular reason. Probably hormonal, given the fact that I have disgusting zits all over my body, in places no grown woman should get them, and really, in no places anyone should have to have them. But there they are. And it could be that I watched this happy/sad/happy movie that usually would be in my hate pile given that it did not end with a satisfying romantic conclusion except she did get rid of the dirt bag hubby. Oops, I just ruined the movie. Good thing I didn't tell you what it was. And it could be that I'm overwhelmed with life. The usual too much to do, no time to do it in, no confidence to back any of it up, but because it's what I do best, I'm faking it real well. And maybe it's that I came to some intense realizations about my life, and I really don't know what to do with it.
But mostly, it's for no particular reason.
Like most Americans, rather than hearing about news that matters like, oh I don't know, people still starving in Africa (old news, really, didn't they have some concert benefit or something), I've seen all the breaking news reports about a certain young pop star who is in the middle of a mental breakdown and as a result is losing custody of her kids. She's been on my prayer list for a while now. I started back when I saw how DSD's soccer team idolized her and I worried about having someone like that as a role model for the kiddos. And that was before the breakdown. Now here she is, her life falling apart and people are stampeding to try and cash in on whatever they can, whether it be photos, interviews, or the exclusive story on why she broke down.
And you know what I want to know? What does it matter? She's just a girl, who, like all of us, is trying to make her way in the world. But unlike us, she can't even use a restroom without getting mobbed for the money shot. I don't live under that kind of pressure and there's days when I'd really like to have the luxury of a breakdown. But unlike her, I have things to do like cooking, cleaning, laundry, paying bills, keeping my little terrorists from blowing up the neighborhood, and all that jazz. I know the pressure I put on myself. Fortunately, I'm blessed with a handful of people who choose to love me and believe in all of my dreams. This woman... she's got an army of people following her around, looking for her to fail. Waiting to capture it for the whole world to see. And see they will, selling record numbers of magazines, getting a record number of hits on websites, and giving a few pathetic souls the right to pat themselves on the back. There's a reason I'm not mentioning her by name.
So what's the big deal with this person? Nothing, really. She sold a few albums, made a name for herself, and for whatever reason, it makes us think we have the right to jump into her life, follow her around, and turn her into a three-ring freakshow. Bravo to us. Why do we do it? No particular reason.
Here we are, at the start of a new year, and I just have to wonder, what's it all for? Why are our lives so empty and meaningless? Why am I sitting here, completely depressed when the reality is that I have nothing to be depressed about? Why is the mental breakdown of a person so much more fascinating to us than finding real solutions to helping people in need? Why can we talk about her for hours and never talk about things that are real?
The truth is, I lied when I said there was no particular reason. There's a reason. One important reason. We're focused on everything but the important reason. We supposedly just spent a holiday celebrating that reason, but let's get real here. All most of us really spent was a little more money than what we had. We need God. I need God.
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Guest blogger: Cheryl Wyatt
Today, we have a very special guest, one of my dear friends, Cheryl Wyatt, aka Squirl. I am so thrilled and honored to be a part of her blog tour for her very first book, A Soldier's promise. She's been a great friend, but rather than share all the embarrassing stories and pictures I have of her, I'll be nice and let her do the talking...
Leave a comment and I'll draw a name for one very lucky person to win a copy of her book.
THINGS I WISH I KNEW BEFORE I SOLD
*THAT MY CHILDREN WOULD EXCHANGE SIBLING RIVALRY FOR CYBER-RIVALRY
*HUSBANDS DON'T BELIEVE YOU WHEN YOU TELL THEM EVERY NEWLY CONTRACTED WRITER HIRES A MAID
*ICKY, FUZZY GREEN MOLD STILL GROWS ON UNWASHED DISHES THAT DON'T CARE THAT YOU CAN'T COME NEAR THE SINK DUE TO DEADLINES
*NEVER PUT A FLASH DRIVE ON OR NEAR A SPEAKER THAT HOUSES POWERFUL MAGNETS INSIDE
*GELLING OF A STORY FOR THREE YEARS BEOMES A LOST CONFIDENCE-VICE
*SUCH JOY WOULD COME FROM OTHERS' OVERWHELMING EXCITEMENT OVER MY REALIZED DREAM, EVEN IF THEIR OWN DREAMS REMAIN IN WAITING.
I HAD BEEN MORE PROFICIENT IN KNOWING BASIC HTML AND WEBSITE UPKEEP
*WHAT A RUSH THAT PHONE CALL WOULD BE AND WHAT AN OUTRAGEOUSLY EXCITING RIDE IT WOULD SET ME ON
*I WOULD HAVE KNOWN TO COMPLETELY CLEAR MY CALENDAR THE MONTH OR TWO BEFORE MY DEBUT NOVEL'S RELEASE
*SOME PEOPLE WOULD TREAT ME DIFFERENTLY BUT NOT NECESSARILY IN A BAD WAY. THERE'S MORE RESPECT, WHY I'M NOT SURE BECAUSE I'M STILL THE SAME SILLY, GOOFY ME
*HOW EASY GALLEYS WOULD BE BUT HOW SHORT THE AMOUNT OF TIME YOU HAVE TO DO THEM AND TURN THEM BACK IN. LOL!
I WOULD STILL HAVE TIMES, LOTS OF TIMES OF SELF-DOUBT
*KIDS+RED SLUSHIE IN CLOSE PROXIMITY+WHITE LAPTOP KEYBOARD=ALWAYS SPELLS DISASTER
*NO ONE BELIEVES AUTHORS HAVE TO BUY THEIR OWN BOOKS BEYOND THEIR FREE AUTHOR COPIES
*EVERYONE YOU'VE EVER MET WHETHER YOU REMEMBER THEM OR NOT WANTS A FREE COPY
*WINDOWS VISTA AND WORD 2007 ISN'T SOMETHING YOU CAN MASTER THE WEEK YOUR BOOK IS DUE
*BE SURE TO MAKE A HARD COPY OR ELECTRONIC COPY OF YOUR MS AS SENT TO YOUR EDITORS BEFORE YOU MAKE A SINGLE CHANGE ACCORDING TO THEIR REVISION NOTES. ONCE YOU MAKE A CHANGE, IT CHANGES THE PAGE AND LINE NUMBERS, WHICH THE EDITORS USE IN THE LATTER HALF OF THEIR LETTER TO DIRECT YOU TO THINGS YOU NEED TO CHANGE, BEEF UP, ADDRESS, FIX OR NIX.
*EVEN BIG, PREVIOUSLY DAUNTING GERMAN SHEPPARD'S SCAMPER AWAY SCARED WHEN YOU STREAK (CLOTHED) DOWN THE STREETS OF YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD SHRIEKING ABOUT YOUR BOOK BEING ON AMAZON
*FEW PEOPLE WILL UNDERSTAND THE TIME COMMITMENT WRITING TAKES
*ONLY ANOTHER WRITER TRULY UNDERSTANDS YOUR EXCITEMENT OVER FINDING THE PERFECT, ACTIVE VERB OR THE PERFECTLY PLACED METAPHOR, OR THAT YOU FINALLY MASTERED MODIFIERS. AND ONLY ANOTHER WRITER CAN APPRECIATE HOW HARD AND LONG YOU WORKED TO GET TO THE PLACE YOU ARE IN YOUR CRAFT BECAUSE THEY KNOW. THEY'RE GRITTING AND GRUNTING THROUGH IT TOO.
*READER LETTERS ARE THE MOST INSPIRING REWARD
*EVERY ASPIRING AUTHOR COMES OUT OF THE WOODWORK TO ASK YOUR ADVICE AND YOU FEEL NEARLY LIKE A FRAUD ANSWERING THEIR QUESTIONS BECAUSE YOU STILL FEEL SO GREEN MOST OF THE TIME.
I WOULD HAVE KNOWN TO ORDER MORE STARBUCKS CARDS AT CHRISTMAS AND TAKE DOWN NAMES OF EVERYONE INVOLVED IN MY BOOK FROM ART, TO MARKETING, TO PROMOTION, TO EDITORIAL ETC. IT IS SUCH A COLLABORATIVE TEAM EFFORT FROM SO MANY PEOPLE AT THE PUBLISHING HOUSE IN GETTING A BOOK SHELF-READY. AND I THINK WHEN AN AUTHOR MISSES A DEADLINE, I IMAGINE IT'S LIKE THAT OLD I LOVE LUCY EPISODE WHERE HER AND BETTY ARE WORKING IN THE CANDY FACTORY AND THEY GET BEHIND SO THEY HAVE TO START CRAMMING PIECES IN THEIR MOUTHS AND EVEN THEIR TOPS. ANYONE REMEMBER THAT? I PRAY I NEVER MISS A DEADLINE.
*SPELLCHECKER WILL CHANGE "MEMORIES ASSAULTED NOLAN AS HE WALKED ALONG THE BRIDGE" TO "MAMMORIES ASSAULTED NOLAN AS HE WALKED ALONG THE BRIDGE" WHEN YOU'RE NOT LOOKING, AND THANK GOODNESS YOU PROOFED THAT THING ONE MORE TIME BEFORE MAILING IT TO YOUR EDITOR AND PROSPECTIVE AGENTS.
*ONLINE CONNECTIONS, BLOGGING, AND DIGITAL MARKETING WOULD BE SO IMPORTANT IN GETTING THE WORD OUT AS EFFECTIVELY AS FOOT-TO-STORE BOOK SIGNINGS
*LITTLE CHILDREN CAN BE ENCOURAGED THAT GOD HAS A DEFINITE PURPOSE FOR THEM AND A PLAN FOR THEIR LIFE AND THAT SOMETIMES HE GIVES US DREAMS EVEN WHEN WE'RE LITTLE. AND WE MAY FORGET BUT HE DOESN'T.
*DAYS AREN'T ADDED TO THE WEEK NOR HOURS TO THE DAY NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TRY TO CONVINCE GOD YOUR REQUEST IS VALID
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Cross-eyed
YIKES! I can't believe it's been over a week since I've blogged. Did not mean for that one, but hey that's been what my life has been like the past week. I flew home from Chicago, got home late, woke up early the next morning to head to my mom's for Christmas, got back here in time for a snowstorm, jumped back into teaching, and the rest of the life I left behind.
You know the funny thing about taking a vacation from life? It's still waiting when you get back, with the added bonus of everything you didn't do all piled up.
Which is why I'm cross-eyed.
I did all the hard copy edits on the book on my trip. Yes, yes I did. I put my flight time and layovers to good use, tyvm. Now, of course, I have to put it into the computer, which is a slightly daunting task because I think I may have edited myself into a corner. Yes, my friends, these are the days when I understand why many of the literary greats ended up alcoholics. And, no, I didn't actually drink. I just understand why one would want to.
Then there are the boards, which are crazy... with the upcoming changeover and a couple of events I have launching at the same time, I've got a million and one things to finish and have ready ASAP. I've spent the past two hours trying to get some html right and figure out why I couldn't get one stinking paragraph to format correctly.
And of course, I have teaching. We did a marathon session today. I love it when the course material says it's slated for an hour more than the class time you're given. Along with all of that, I've got to do all the end of year/beginning of new year paperwork. ICK.
So that, dear people, is what I've been doing. Roaming the country, leaving havoc in my trail, and actually trying to be productive. Just in time for tax season to start. I got a glimpse of my schedule, and frankly, I'm not ready to face it yet, so I don't remember when I'm working. My boss said she's being nice to me and giving me some time off. *insert skeptical look*
And I've really got to get started on my own taxes. That Man and his HR person did not understand my instructions for his withholding and I didn't catch it until too late. Which means we're going to owe. I think. Unless I can pull a few more deductions out of my hat. Speaking of, I need to get new glasses tomorrow. The silver lining of the cloud that's been my health problems this year is I'm going to have a ton of medical expenses to deduct. The new glasses will be total icing.
Or at least that's the hope. I think I'm starting to ramble. I am so tired. Too tired to move. Can I stay here forever? Of course then the stuff will just pile up around me, won't it? Ah... my life... gotta love it.
You know the funny thing about taking a vacation from life? It's still waiting when you get back, with the added bonus of everything you didn't do all piled up.
Which is why I'm cross-eyed.
I did all the hard copy edits on the book on my trip. Yes, yes I did. I put my flight time and layovers to good use, tyvm. Now, of course, I have to put it into the computer, which is a slightly daunting task because I think I may have edited myself into a corner. Yes, my friends, these are the days when I understand why many of the literary greats ended up alcoholics. And, no, I didn't actually drink. I just understand why one would want to.
Then there are the boards, which are crazy... with the upcoming changeover and a couple of events I have launching at the same time, I've got a million and one things to finish and have ready ASAP. I've spent the past two hours trying to get some html right and figure out why I couldn't get one stinking paragraph to format correctly.
And of course, I have teaching. We did a marathon session today. I love it when the course material says it's slated for an hour more than the class time you're given. Along with all of that, I've got to do all the end of year/beginning of new year paperwork. ICK.
So that, dear people, is what I've been doing. Roaming the country, leaving havoc in my trail, and actually trying to be productive. Just in time for tax season to start. I got a glimpse of my schedule, and frankly, I'm not ready to face it yet, so I don't remember when I'm working. My boss said she's being nice to me and giving me some time off. *insert skeptical look*
And I've really got to get started on my own taxes. That Man and his HR person did not understand my instructions for his withholding and I didn't catch it until too late. Which means we're going to owe. I think. Unless I can pull a few more deductions out of my hat. Speaking of, I need to get new glasses tomorrow. The silver lining of the cloud that's been my health problems this year is I'm going to have a ton of medical expenses to deduct. The new glasses will be total icing.
Or at least that's the hope. I think I'm starting to ramble. I am so tired. Too tired to move. Can I stay here forever? Of course then the stuff will just pile up around me, won't it? Ah... my life... gotta love it.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Friends, Fun, and YAY!!!
Honestly, I don't have anything specific to blog about, but I know folks know I'm on the road, so I wanted to do a general "I'm safe, alive, and happy" post. There's six of us in this suite in the hotel and we are having a ball. Last night, we attended the final show for the Christmas Promise tour with Todd Agnew, Newsong, Matthew West, Nate Sallie, and Britt Nicole. It was wonderful.
Last year, we did a retreat with the Christmas Hope tour with Todd and Newsong, and it was also wonderful. I meant it when I said it's going to be a tradition. So praying already for next year.
The hardest thing about the connections and friendships I have with people all over the world is that we don't get to see each other often enough. Of course, we're already planning the next get-together. I admit, I hope we do something sooner than what we're looking at. I love these girls. They are some of the most amazing women I've met.
And now we've got four others stopped by to say goodbye, so I guess I'll sign off for now.
Last year, we did a retreat with the Christmas Hope tour with Todd and Newsong, and it was also wonderful. I meant it when I said it's going to be a tradition. So praying already for next year.
The hardest thing about the connections and friendships I have with people all over the world is that we don't get to see each other often enough. Of course, we're already planning the next get-together. I admit, I hope we do something sooner than what we're looking at. I love these girls. They are some of the most amazing women I've met.
And now we've got four others stopped by to say goodbye, so I guess I'll sign off for now.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Reason #98798 why Mommies need vacations
Because after spending over an hour in the car looking for the place that has our pictures, said place can't find them amidst three year old throwing a temper tantrum in the store. In fact, no record of us seems to exist. Funny, they seemed eager enough to charge my credit card, for which there IS a record. Fortunately, the guy was nice and said if I called them with the info, rather than having to make another trip out there, they'll mail them to me for free. Yippee for me.
We pile back into the car, said monster child begs for her chocolate milk.
I should have known better.
I do know better.
But when she promises to be really careful and not spill, I *sigh* trust her.
Surely you know what's coming.
Yep.
Two blocks later, she dumps the entire bottle of chocolate milk all over her and the interior of my car. And thinks it's funny.
Needless to say, I did not get to the store, or run any of my other errands. Unfortunately, the "I can parent better than you police" don't look kindly to dragging around a dripping wet with chocolate milk child in the middle of winter. Been there, done that, got the lecture.
So we drove home, I put the little rat in bed, and I am now wondering how I can get all of my errands run before I head to the airport at 9 a.m. I imagine it'll look something like Mommy ends up at the grocery store in the middle of the night and I stay up all night packing and doing all the other miscellaneous things I have to do. I can sleep on the plane, right?
Which means I'll end up sitting between two linebackers who think they can take up my share of my seat because I'm such a cute little thing and I won't mind.
Oh well. I'm going to be spending the next few days with some of my bestest girlfriends, sans children, and life will be GRAND. *happy sigh*
We pile back into the car, said monster child begs for her chocolate milk.
I should have known better.
I do know better.
But when she promises to be really careful and not spill, I *sigh* trust her.
Surely you know what's coming.
Yep.
Two blocks later, she dumps the entire bottle of chocolate milk all over her and the interior of my car. And thinks it's funny.
Needless to say, I did not get to the store, or run any of my other errands. Unfortunately, the "I can parent better than you police" don't look kindly to dragging around a dripping wet with chocolate milk child in the middle of winter. Been there, done that, got the lecture.
So we drove home, I put the little rat in bed, and I am now wondering how I can get all of my errands run before I head to the airport at 9 a.m. I imagine it'll look something like Mommy ends up at the grocery store in the middle of the night and I stay up all night packing and doing all the other miscellaneous things I have to do. I can sleep on the plane, right?
Which means I'll end up sitting between two linebackers who think they can take up my share of my seat because I'm such a cute little thing and I won't mind.
Oh well. I'm going to be spending the next few days with some of my bestest girlfriends, sans children, and life will be GRAND. *happy sigh*
Friday, December 14, 2007
The Kingdom
Not the one you're thinking of. :)
I just finished watching The Kingdom. A friend of mine works for Blockbuster, so he gets to preview a lot of the movies about to come out. Anyway, we all went over and watched it.
Wow.
I should say that again.
Wow.
I come into it from a different perspective. In college, my primary field of study was the Middle East. I'd actually hoped to go into foreign affairs, work for the State Department, make the world a better place. Yeah. You see where I'm going with this, right? I spent a summer living in Israel and realized that foreign policy in the Middle East has very little to do with what's right and everything to do with power. I couldn't live with that. And frankly, as much as I am a rebel, I'm not into being a one-woman fight against the machine.
I watched this movie with a lot of sadness. I'm going to ruin the ending, so if you're one of those who can't deal with it, I apologize. Each side ended with the notion that "we're going to kill them all." There was this little boy, and that was the thought planted in his head. You want to know where the terrorists come from? Those little boys. And probably, little girls.
The next generation of terrorists are going to be even more ruthless. We think it's bad now, but I believe it will be even worse. The younger generation sits back and watches as their loved ones die horrible deaths. All the blame is placed on the Americans. Or, if you live here, on the Muslims. And so we learn to hate. When we hate, it's easier to kill. They aren't one of us. They are the enemy.
If you want to know the truth about what's going on over there, you need to know that we're all in the wrong. All sides. We aren't the good guys. But we aren't the bad guys, either.
I gave up my Middle East dreams because I didn't know what to do about it. There are some in this country who would think I'm unpatriotic or wrong or worse, a terrorist myself because I feel this way. And the thing is, I'm none of those things. I love my country. But I love other people too. And I think all people have the same inalienable rights. Rights that we deny a lot of others because they believe different things, live a different way, and look a little different from us.
I say this as an American. I say this as a Christian. I say this as a mother.
I used to laugh about the bumper sticker that says, "Who would Jesus bomb?" I keep thinking about it, though. Who WOULD Jesus bomb? He came so that all might be saved. Not everyone except the people we don't like. Abram became Abraham, the father of many nations, so that all the peoples of the world would be blessed. The fulfillment of all the law is love. I'm a bit confused as to how any of our actions are in line with the law. But apparently I follow the wrong law. At least in human terms.
So maybe I did blog about The Kingdom, after all. And not the movie.
If you want to change the situation in the Middle East, if we want to win the war on terror, it's not going to come by going in, guns blazing. I used to work with an organization that's figured that out. Seeking Common Ground- Building Bridges for Peace brings together young women from Israel, Palestine, and the U.S. to learn about one another and break the cycle of hatred. I was privileged enough to work with a number of the girls, get to know them, and fall in love with each and every one of them. It's groups like SCG, working to change the hearts of the next generation, one person at a time, that's going to make a difference.
I encourage all of you to take the time, step into the shoes of your enemy, and truly consider what Jesus would really do. Perhaps, if we started to figure that out, we wouldn't be damning the next generation to hell on earth.
I just finished watching The Kingdom. A friend of mine works for Blockbuster, so he gets to preview a lot of the movies about to come out. Anyway, we all went over and watched it.
Wow.
I should say that again.
Wow.
I come into it from a different perspective. In college, my primary field of study was the Middle East. I'd actually hoped to go into foreign affairs, work for the State Department, make the world a better place. Yeah. You see where I'm going with this, right? I spent a summer living in Israel and realized that foreign policy in the Middle East has very little to do with what's right and everything to do with power. I couldn't live with that. And frankly, as much as I am a rebel, I'm not into being a one-woman fight against the machine.
I watched this movie with a lot of sadness. I'm going to ruin the ending, so if you're one of those who can't deal with it, I apologize. Each side ended with the notion that "we're going to kill them all." There was this little boy, and that was the thought planted in his head. You want to know where the terrorists come from? Those little boys. And probably, little girls.
The next generation of terrorists are going to be even more ruthless. We think it's bad now, but I believe it will be even worse. The younger generation sits back and watches as their loved ones die horrible deaths. All the blame is placed on the Americans. Or, if you live here, on the Muslims. And so we learn to hate. When we hate, it's easier to kill. They aren't one of us. They are the enemy.
If you want to know the truth about what's going on over there, you need to know that we're all in the wrong. All sides. We aren't the good guys. But we aren't the bad guys, either.
I gave up my Middle East dreams because I didn't know what to do about it. There are some in this country who would think I'm unpatriotic or wrong or worse, a terrorist myself because I feel this way. And the thing is, I'm none of those things. I love my country. But I love other people too. And I think all people have the same inalienable rights. Rights that we deny a lot of others because they believe different things, live a different way, and look a little different from us.
I say this as an American. I say this as a Christian. I say this as a mother.
I used to laugh about the bumper sticker that says, "Who would Jesus bomb?" I keep thinking about it, though. Who WOULD Jesus bomb? He came so that all might be saved. Not everyone except the people we don't like. Abram became Abraham, the father of many nations, so that all the peoples of the world would be blessed. The fulfillment of all the law is love. I'm a bit confused as to how any of our actions are in line with the law. But apparently I follow the wrong law. At least in human terms.
So maybe I did blog about The Kingdom, after all. And not the movie.
If you want to change the situation in the Middle East, if we want to win the war on terror, it's not going to come by going in, guns blazing. I used to work with an organization that's figured that out. Seeking Common Ground- Building Bridges for Peace brings together young women from Israel, Palestine, and the U.S. to learn about one another and break the cycle of hatred. I was privileged enough to work with a number of the girls, get to know them, and fall in love with each and every one of them. It's groups like SCG, working to change the hearts of the next generation, one person at a time, that's going to make a difference.
I encourage all of you to take the time, step into the shoes of your enemy, and truly consider what Jesus would really do. Perhaps, if we started to figure that out, we wouldn't be damning the next generation to hell on earth.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Thursday Thirteen #28: Things I've learned recently about eating healthy
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1. Healthy food tastes pretty good. 2. Some of it is still gross, though. 3. Soy is one of the worst things you can put into your body (and here I thought it was good for me) 4. If you plan right, it's also not as expensive as I thought. 5. Homemade food doesn’t take as much time as I’d thought (and it’s much better for you!) 6. You’re not supposed to sauté the garlic with the onions (and guess how I learned how to cook) 7. I can get my kiddo to eat anything if I tell her its medicine (and she likes it) 8. How to make Kefir (and what Kefir is) 9. That when you roast a chicken, you’re supposed to do it with the right side up (I still can’t tell which end is which) 10. My house will not burn down if I simmer homemade broth for the full 24 hours recommended by the recipe (and the broth turns out really nice) 11. Homemade Bread is really yummy and not so hard to make. 12. My family is not as fond of eating healthy as I am. 13. I still crave junk! (especially hot dogs!) |
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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Tuesday, December 11, 2007
An open letter to those in the universe conspiring against me
STOP IT ALREADY!!!!!!!
There. I feel much better.
As some of you know, this is crazy season for me. I wish I could *just* have Christmas to deal with. Frankly, it gets scaled back every year, and I'm fine with that. But it's a busy time for those of us gearing up for tax season, and somehow I ended up teaching two classes. UGH. And then, we are moving our boards to a new platform, which is great, but again, more work! Add in all my regular stuff, and I'm going crazy.
So today, on a day with lots of icky white stuff falling, when I have no place to go except to teach tonight, the only day I have in my schedule to sleep in, WHY WHY WHY won't people leave me alone?
No one ever calls. I kinda like it that way. Silence is golden. Today, the phone has not stopped ringing. Is it anyone I'd want to talk to? No. In fact, if you know whoever has the number 818-456-1234, could you please tell them to stop calling? So far, they've called three times today, and that's after I politely told them yesterday to never call here again. In case you're wondering, I screen my calls. If I don't recognize the number on caller ID, and you don't leave a message, I don't answer the phone. Anyway, all day long, from the moment I got up long enough to bundle kiddo up, kiss her goodbye, and send her to school, it's been a zoo here.
Not by my choosing, mind you.
My only peaceful day this week, and it's being disturbed.
Oh well, maybe I'll go bake something and feel better. :)
There. I feel much better.
As some of you know, this is crazy season for me. I wish I could *just* have Christmas to deal with. Frankly, it gets scaled back every year, and I'm fine with that. But it's a busy time for those of us gearing up for tax season, and somehow I ended up teaching two classes. UGH. And then, we are moving our boards to a new platform, which is great, but again, more work! Add in all my regular stuff, and I'm going crazy.
So today, on a day with lots of icky white stuff falling, when I have no place to go except to teach tonight, the only day I have in my schedule to sleep in, WHY WHY WHY won't people leave me alone?
No one ever calls. I kinda like it that way. Silence is golden. Today, the phone has not stopped ringing. Is it anyone I'd want to talk to? No. In fact, if you know whoever has the number 818-456-1234, could you please tell them to stop calling? So far, they've called three times today, and that's after I politely told them yesterday to never call here again. In case you're wondering, I screen my calls. If I don't recognize the number on caller ID, and you don't leave a message, I don't answer the phone. Anyway, all day long, from the moment I got up long enough to bundle kiddo up, kiss her goodbye, and send her to school, it's been a zoo here.
Not by my choosing, mind you.
My only peaceful day this week, and it's being disturbed.
Oh well, maybe I'll go bake something and feel better. :)
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Thursday Thirteen #27: Things I've done since I last blogged
Yeah, I know. Long time no blog. I'm pretty shocked myself. Life's been... crazy to say the least. But rather than bore you with my petty excuses, here's my list:
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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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1. Slept. Let's let that one sink in for just one more blissful moment. 2. Mailed off that pesky manuscript. 3. Cleaned my kitchen. I am no longer worried about the Health Department. 4. Visited 5 medical supply type places and called about a dozen more to find a sling for my 7 year old who fell off the trampoline and sprained her arm. Apparently, my children are the only ones who ever need slings. I am also, according to those medical people, a very bad mom for letting my kiddos have a trampoline. 5. Fell off the nutritional supplement bandwagon. I deeply regret it. 6. Spent a blissful day with my bestest best friend. 7. Attended one out of the four holiday parties scheduled for this week. Three more to go. 8. Rediscovered the joy of Neopets with my children. 9. Made an Advent Wreath. 10. Unpacked 10 boxes. 11. Paid the bills. Wahoo!! Our electricity won't be shut off because I forgot! 12. Re-bonded with hubby, children, and dog. 13. Worked on next major project for the boards. |
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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Friday, November 30, 2007
Finally!!
At 2:35 p.m. this afternoon, I finished the rewrite of the book.
Let's all cheer.
However, I had to go back and revise the partial and synopsis to put in the mail tomorrow. Which I finished at 11:30 p.m. I had to cut 8 pages, make the grandfather less of a jerk, and make my hero less wishy-washy. Pages are cut. I think I succeeded with the grandfather and hero.
So tomorrow, I'm off to Kinkos to print and mail. Then, I can find my life again.
I'm pretty proud of myself. I set a difficult goal and met it. More importantly, I learned that my family can pull around me and work together to make it happen. Hubby very generously kicked me out of the house so I could get some work done. He kept the kiddos fed, the house semi picked up, and accomplished the crazy tasks I absolutely had to have done to stay sane.
As I prepared the very gourmet meal of hot dogs, the first I'd done all week, with the exception of a lasagna I'd frozen a couple months ago, I thought about a speech I saw a famous author give when she received an award for one of her books.
She got up and said that while everyone else thanked their family, she wasn't going to, because her family didn't write the book. Maybe the family didn't write the book. But at least in my house, my family plays an important role in my writing. They eat cereal on the nights I'm too preoccupied to cook without burning the house down. My husband works hard and sometimes extra hours so I have enough money for whatever I need- whether it be paper, ink, or conference expenses. They put up with me asking them weird questions like, "If you were in this situation, how would you react?" And they pitch in to do chores that I don't quite get around to. The seven year old informed me that she loooooooves to do laundry.
So to my family, thank you. I still have a lot of work to do, but without your help, I would not have reached this goal
Let's all cheer.
However, I had to go back and revise the partial and synopsis to put in the mail tomorrow. Which I finished at 11:30 p.m. I had to cut 8 pages, make the grandfather less of a jerk, and make my hero less wishy-washy. Pages are cut. I think I succeeded with the grandfather and hero.
So tomorrow, I'm off to Kinkos to print and mail. Then, I can find my life again.
I'm pretty proud of myself. I set a difficult goal and met it. More importantly, I learned that my family can pull around me and work together to make it happen. Hubby very generously kicked me out of the house so I could get some work done. He kept the kiddos fed, the house semi picked up, and accomplished the crazy tasks I absolutely had to have done to stay sane.
As I prepared the very gourmet meal of hot dogs, the first I'd done all week, with the exception of a lasagna I'd frozen a couple months ago, I thought about a speech I saw a famous author give when she received an award for one of her books.
She got up and said that while everyone else thanked their family, she wasn't going to, because her family didn't write the book. Maybe the family didn't write the book. But at least in my house, my family plays an important role in my writing. They eat cereal on the nights I'm too preoccupied to cook without burning the house down. My husband works hard and sometimes extra hours so I have enough money for whatever I need- whether it be paper, ink, or conference expenses. They put up with me asking them weird questions like, "If you were in this situation, how would you react?" And they pitch in to do chores that I don't quite get around to. The seven year old informed me that she loooooooves to do laundry.
So to my family, thank you. I still have a lot of work to do, but without your help, I would not have reached this goal
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Santa and Jesus
I realized why I hadn't posted the entries in the Unposted Blog Entry file. ACK! So much for the magic file.
I broke my little girl's heart today. We were talking about Christmas, and she told me about this toy she wanted. I'm sorry, but I think it's inappropriate to spend $300 for a toy horse for a child for Christmas. Frankly, I think people are going waaaay too overboard with Christmas spending. Which is why we're scaling down.
So, we had to have a talk. I finally explained to her that the horse she wanted was too expensive, and there was absolutely no way she'd get it. In a tearful voice, she asked, "But Mom, what about Santa? Can't he bring it?"
Now see, we do Santa in our house. But for us, Santa is a fun tradition, and the focus is Jesus. Santa is not a miracle worker. And my kids certainly aren't getting things from Santa that we'd never buy.
I told her again, "it's too expensive. We can't afford it."
My daughter said, "you have to PAY Santa?"
"Yes."
She spent a good hour crying. But when she finished, we talked about other gifts she might like. And we talked about what's important about Christmas.
On one hand, I feel bad for making her cry. But I also know that if that horse isn't under the tree on Christmas, it'll completely ruin her day. It's best she understands now.
A friend of mine and I talked recently about how God isn't Santa. He doesn't give us the nice gifts on our wish list just because we're good or because we really want them. But I'd like to add something. Santa isn't God. We shouldn't be looking for him to do things for our families that we can't. Our kids shouldn't be looking for him to give miraculous presents mom and dad have already said no to.
I'm not one of those anti-Santa Christians. I think Santa is a nice story and a nice tradition. Just like any one of the other stories I grew up reading. And I think it's okay to play pretend and play Santa. But I also think we need to keep Santa in perspective and make sure his importance isn't at the center of our holiday. He's not a miracle. The miracle is in Jesus, and that's where we need to keep our focus.
So this Christmas season, rather than wondering about what Santa can do, ask yourself how you can be Jesus to someone else. It's a whole lot better than Santa.
I broke my little girl's heart today. We were talking about Christmas, and she told me about this toy she wanted. I'm sorry, but I think it's inappropriate to spend $300 for a toy horse for a child for Christmas. Frankly, I think people are going waaaay too overboard with Christmas spending. Which is why we're scaling down.
So, we had to have a talk. I finally explained to her that the horse she wanted was too expensive, and there was absolutely no way she'd get it. In a tearful voice, she asked, "But Mom, what about Santa? Can't he bring it?"
Now see, we do Santa in our house. But for us, Santa is a fun tradition, and the focus is Jesus. Santa is not a miracle worker. And my kids certainly aren't getting things from Santa that we'd never buy.
I told her again, "it's too expensive. We can't afford it."
My daughter said, "you have to PAY Santa?"
"Yes."
She spent a good hour crying. But when she finished, we talked about other gifts she might like. And we talked about what's important about Christmas.
On one hand, I feel bad for making her cry. But I also know that if that horse isn't under the tree on Christmas, it'll completely ruin her day. It's best she understands now.
A friend of mine and I talked recently about how God isn't Santa. He doesn't give us the nice gifts on our wish list just because we're good or because we really want them. But I'd like to add something. Santa isn't God. We shouldn't be looking for him to do things for our families that we can't. Our kids shouldn't be looking for him to give miraculous presents mom and dad have already said no to.
I'm not one of those anti-Santa Christians. I think Santa is a nice story and a nice tradition. Just like any one of the other stories I grew up reading. And I think it's okay to play pretend and play Santa. But I also think we need to keep Santa in perspective and make sure his importance isn't at the center of our holiday. He's not a miracle. The miracle is in Jesus, and that's where we need to keep our focus.
So this Christmas season, rather than wondering about what Santa can do, ask yourself how you can be Jesus to someone else. It's a whole lot better than Santa.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Struggling, but getting by
Okay, so promised post from yesterday didn't materialize until today. Sorry about that.
It's been a long, hard day, with pretty much nothing going as planned. And that's been a real bummer, to say the least. And at the risk of sounding like a big, whiny, cry baby, no one's given me a whole lot of sympathy over it.
Anyway, I'm on a major deadline so I'll be hit and miss the rest of the week. I think my posts will be coming from that magic file of stuff I meant to post a long time ago but never got around to posting. It should be interesting. Or not. I don't know.
I'd post more tonight, but it's been such a bad day that I'm afraid to say or do anything else. My computer will probably blow up or something. So send me chocolate, hugs, tea, and I'll catch you here real soon.
Unless my house blows up. I wish I were kidding.
It's been a long, hard day, with pretty much nothing going as planned. And that's been a real bummer, to say the least. And at the risk of sounding like a big, whiny, cry baby, no one's given me a whole lot of sympathy over it.
Anyway, I'm on a major deadline so I'll be hit and miss the rest of the week. I think my posts will be coming from that magic file of stuff I meant to post a long time ago but never got around to posting. It should be interesting. Or not. I don't know.
I'd post more tonight, but it's been such a bad day that I'm afraid to say or do anything else. My computer will probably blow up or something. So send me chocolate, hugs, tea, and I'll catch you here real soon.
Unless my house blows up. I wish I were kidding.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Free Book Monday: Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers
This is a real-quick-like post, just letting you know what the book is. I'll be back later to fill in details, but I figured some folks were expecting it, so I'd at least share that much. I'll be back later with some kind of post. :)
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Updates
Well, if you're a sidebar watcher, you'll see that I've FINALLY!! updated my sidebar and links. If you're not on there and want to be, or are there and don't want to be, let me know and I'll make the change. :)
The winner of last week's Free Book Monday is... Heather! Congratulations!! Email me with your info and I'll get the book out to you.
The winner of last week's Free Book Monday is... Heather! Congratulations!! Email me with your info and I'll get the book out to you.
Hearing God
Happy Sunday! Last Sunday, as part of our small group, we took an assessment of our spiritual gifts. In the past, I've always scored pretty high on discernment. Yet, with this assessment, as I looked at the questions about discernment, I started to wonder. The questions made me realize how little discernment I have. I'm not really good at picking out people's motivations. My judgment tends to be clouded by my experience. My experience is that people aren't as good as they say, or as they'd like to think. But is it the truth? Or is it just my experience?
Lately, I've had a number of folks in my life playing the "God said" card. They'll be saying something about their life and ultimately, that phrase gets thrown out. However, as I watch the things happening in their lives, I hear the words that come out of their mouths, and the attitudes they have, I have to wonder... did God really say?
These people say they have a lot of discernment. It scares me because they are a couple of the meanest people I know. I don't hear a lot of nice things coming out of their mouths. But they think they have God's will all figured out. Is God's will about sarcasm? Is God's will about putting self above others? Is God's will about condemnation? Is God's will self-righteous?
Maybe I have a different version of the Bible. Maybe I don't understand God the way I'm supposed to. The truth is, the more I learn about God, the more I read my Bible, the more I think I don't have discernment at all. I still do and say a lot of bad things. I'd like to say the level of sin in my life continues to go down as I grow spiritually, but the truth is, all that's happened is that I'm more aware of how sinful I am.
Do I hear from God? I'd like to think so. But I'm also painfully aware of the fact that my hearing is distorted by my human experience, my human failings, my human desires, my human hurts, my human fears. It's easy to find a verse or interpret a verse to say what we think we want God to be saying. But is it what God meant by those words? And do they really justify our position?
I don't know. Like I said, as I've aged, discernment hasn't been my strong suit. Instead of answers, I only have more questions. Fortunately, as those of you who read my blog know, that's all part of the journey.
Lately, I've had a number of folks in my life playing the "God said" card. They'll be saying something about their life and ultimately, that phrase gets thrown out. However, as I watch the things happening in their lives, I hear the words that come out of their mouths, and the attitudes they have, I have to wonder... did God really say?
These people say they have a lot of discernment. It scares me because they are a couple of the meanest people I know. I don't hear a lot of nice things coming out of their mouths. But they think they have God's will all figured out. Is God's will about sarcasm? Is God's will about putting self above others? Is God's will about condemnation? Is God's will self-righteous?
Maybe I have a different version of the Bible. Maybe I don't understand God the way I'm supposed to. The truth is, the more I learn about God, the more I read my Bible, the more I think I don't have discernment at all. I still do and say a lot of bad things. I'd like to say the level of sin in my life continues to go down as I grow spiritually, but the truth is, all that's happened is that I'm more aware of how sinful I am.
Do I hear from God? I'd like to think so. But I'm also painfully aware of the fact that my hearing is distorted by my human experience, my human failings, my human desires, my human hurts, my human fears. It's easy to find a verse or interpret a verse to say what we think we want God to be saying. But is it what God meant by those words? And do they really justify our position?
I don't know. Like I said, as I've aged, discernment hasn't been my strong suit. Instead of answers, I only have more questions. Fortunately, as those of you who read my blog know, that's all part of the journey.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
It came to me on page 198
Yep, that's where I am on this rewrite. And I need to kick it into higher gear to get it done in time. However, I had to take a quick break to celebrate this major epiphany.
For those of you new to my writing angst, you should know that I can't summarize to save my life. As a reader of my blog, you've hopefully figured that out by now. I get to my points. Eventually.
I usually start a book with a vague idea of what it's about. Except if you ask, "what's your book about," I will typically stammer for a good ten minutes until something resembling a story idea pops out of my mouth. I can tell you all sorts of things about my books. But to be able to crystallize it in any intelligent form? Nope.
So here I am, typing away, fighting with this latest chapter because it's so stinking hard, and it comes to me: a one sentence crystallization of my book.
My book is about finding who you are in Christ.
You may all now applaud.
Do not ask me to put that in a logline. Yet.
For those of you new to my writing angst, you should know that I can't summarize to save my life. As a reader of my blog, you've hopefully figured that out by now. I get to my points. Eventually.
I usually start a book with a vague idea of what it's about. Except if you ask, "what's your book about," I will typically stammer for a good ten minutes until something resembling a story idea pops out of my mouth. I can tell you all sorts of things about my books. But to be able to crystallize it in any intelligent form? Nope.
So here I am, typing away, fighting with this latest chapter because it's so stinking hard, and it comes to me: a one sentence crystallization of my book.
My book is about finding who you are in Christ.
You may all now applaud.
Do not ask me to put that in a logline. Yet.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Thursday Thirteen #26: Verses for Thanksgiving.
As promised, this week, it's all about the meaningful verses. My friend Tonya emailed me with one of my favorite verses today, and I couldn't help but think of the story behind it: a Thanksgiving story.
I did not grow up in a Christian home. Most of my family members break out in hives if I mention Jesus or God in their presence. But I've always loved God. I've always been curious. When I was eight years old, as we prepared to celebrate Thanksgiving, I got into an argument with my mom. I told her Thanksgiving was a God holiday because all holidays are about God. She told me no, it was about the Pilgrims. I've always been an argumentative little stinker, so I decided to prove her wrong. I grabbed the only Bible we had in the house, my aunt's old King James version. I came up with the first verse in my list. It had the word "thanksgiving" in it, which to me was the ultimate proof. Thanksgiving is all about God. Then again, so should be every other day. Although I was a lot older than eight before I figured out that one. Ooops. Still working on it. However, now that I'm older and know how to use a concordance, here's a few more "proofs" of Thanksgiving in the Bible.
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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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I did not grow up in a Christian home. Most of my family members break out in hives if I mention Jesus or God in their presence. But I've always loved God. I've always been curious. When I was eight years old, as we prepared to celebrate Thanksgiving, I got into an argument with my mom. I told her Thanksgiving was a God holiday because all holidays are about God. She told me no, it was about the Pilgrims. I've always been an argumentative little stinker, so I decided to prove her wrong. I grabbed the only Bible we had in the house, my aunt's old King James version. I came up with the first verse in my list. It had the word "thanksgiving" in it, which to me was the ultimate proof. Thanksgiving is all about God. Then again, so should be every other day. Although I was a lot older than eight before I figured out that one. Ooops. Still working on it. However, now that I'm older and know how to use a concordance, here's a few more "proofs" of Thanksgiving in the Bible.
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1. Psalm 100 (sorry, have to use KJV on this one... it's how I learned it, and nothing sounds as good. The rest is NIV) 1Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands.2Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing. 3Know ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. 4Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name. 5For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations. 2. Leviticus 7:12-14 (See, we should EAT for Thanksgiving!) 12 " 'If he offers it as an expression of thankfulness, then along with this thank offering he is to offer cakes of bread made without yeast and mixed with oil, wafers made without yeast and spread with oil, and cakes of fine flour well-kneaded and mixed with oil. 13 Along with his fellowship offering of thanksgiving he is to present an offering with cakes of bread made with yeast. 14 He is to bring one of each kind as an offering, a contribution to the LORD; it belongs to the priest who sprinkles the blood of the fellowship offerings. 3. Ezra 3:10-11 10 When the builders laid the foundation of the temple of the LORD, the priests in their vestments and with trumpets, and the Levites (the sons of Asaph) with cymbals, took their places to praise the LORD, as prescribed by David king of Israel. 11 With praise and thanksgiving they sang to the LORD : "He is good; his love to Israel endures forever." And all the people gave a great shout of praise to the LORD, because the foundation of the house of the LORD was laid. 4. Nehemiah 12:24 (Didn't I recently blog about needing Thanksgiving carols?) And the leaders of the Levites were Hashabiah, Sherebiah, Jeshua son of Kadmiel, and their associates, who stood opposite them to give praise and thanksgiving, one section responding to the other, as prescribed by David the man of God. 5. Psalm 69:30 I will praise God's name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving. 6. Isaiah 51:3 The LORD will surely comfort Zion and will look with compassion on all her ruins; he will make her deserts like Eden, her wastelands like the garden of the LORD. Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the sound of singing. 7. Jeremiah 30:19 From them will come songs of thanksgiving and the sound of rejoicing. I will add to their numbers, and they will not be decreased; I will bring them honor, and they will not be disdained. 8. Jonah 2:9 But I, with a song of thanksgiving, will sacrifice to you. What I have vowed I will make good. Salvation comes from the LORD. 9. I Corinthians 10:15-17 15I speak to sensible people; judge for yourselves what I say. 16Is not the cup of thanksgiving for which we give thanks a participation in the blood of Christ? And is not the bread that we break a participation in the body of Christ? 17Because there is one loaf, we, who are many, are one body, for we all partake of the one loaf. 10. 2 Corinthians 4:14-16 (Wow! Isn't this the ultimate thing to be thankful for?) 14because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. 15All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. 16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 11. 2 Corinthians 9:10-12 10Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. 11You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God. 12This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of God's people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. 12. Ephesians 5:4 Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 13. Philippians 4:6-7 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. |
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
The things our characters teach us...
Sunday morning, I woke up after having a series of bizarre dreams. As I showered and thought about them, I realized something pretty interesting about my writing. My characters, as much as I try to separate them from my real life, are taking a journey similar to one I'm on or have been on. I honestly never mean for it to happen, but there it is.
My heroine is at a crossroads. She's learned that someone she cares deeply about isn't the person she thought he was. And now she's got to decide how to handle it.
The cool thing about fiction is that characters learn a lot faster than we do. They can make the right choices because the great, wise writer can make it so. The funny thing is, as much as I can right the wrongs in my heroine's life, I have a much harder time doing it with my own.
As I examined my heroine's dilemma, it brought to mind a time I sat at a similar crossroads. My best friend had just betrayed me, and I was so hurt. I remember standing in the quad at school, and she tried to talk to me. But I walked away. I refused to listen, refused to talk. Granted, we'd been down that road before, and I was tired of having the same conversation only to have the same thing happen again. I used to be really proud of my decision to finally stop being walked on by this girl. With maturity and age, though, I've realized how unfair I was to not give her the chance to say her piece.
The truth is, I miss her. I wish I had the chance to tell her that I'm sorry for not giving her a chance. I've looked for her on the Internet, and haven't found her. Maybe some day. And maybe, because she used to love reading romance as much as I do, she'll read one of my books and we can find each other again. Or maybe, she'll find my blog and know that I am deeply and truly sorry. I am sorry, Sherry.
As I picture the look on my character's face at the moment of betrayal, I wonder, is that how she felt when I repaid my friend for injuring me by turning my back on her?
I am so glad my characters are a million times smarter than I am.
My heroine is at a crossroads. She's learned that someone she cares deeply about isn't the person she thought he was. And now she's got to decide how to handle it.
The cool thing about fiction is that characters learn a lot faster than we do. They can make the right choices because the great, wise writer can make it so. The funny thing is, as much as I can right the wrongs in my heroine's life, I have a much harder time doing it with my own.
As I examined my heroine's dilemma, it brought to mind a time I sat at a similar crossroads. My best friend had just betrayed me, and I was so hurt. I remember standing in the quad at school, and she tried to talk to me. But I walked away. I refused to listen, refused to talk. Granted, we'd been down that road before, and I was tired of having the same conversation only to have the same thing happen again. I used to be really proud of my decision to finally stop being walked on by this girl. With maturity and age, though, I've realized how unfair I was to not give her the chance to say her piece.
The truth is, I miss her. I wish I had the chance to tell her that I'm sorry for not giving her a chance. I've looked for her on the Internet, and haven't found her. Maybe some day. And maybe, because she used to love reading romance as much as I do, she'll read one of my books and we can find each other again. Or maybe, she'll find my blog and know that I am deeply and truly sorry. I am sorry, Sherry.
As I picture the look on my character's face at the moment of betrayal, I wonder, is that how she felt when I repaid my friend for injuring me by turning my back on her?
I am so glad my characters are a million times smarter than I am.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Free Book Monday: The Elements of Style by William Strunk Jr.
Wahooo!!! Free book Monday!!
Today's been a rough day for me. Long story. Now that I've told it about a hundred times, it doesn't seem so bad. However, what got me through were some good friends who listened and didn't say, "you are such a pyscho!" Or worse, "aww, PMS again?" Nope, they just loved on me. And I truly appreciate it.
Anyway, as I pondered which book to give away, I decided on this gem: The Elements of Style by William Strunk, Jr. For me, writing books are old friends. Particularly old writing books. As a history nut, I find it fascinating to read books from another time period. The cool thing about this book, though, is that much of its contents are still applicable today.
So check it out! Post a comment here this week and I'll draw a winner this weekend.
Today's been a rough day for me. Long story. Now that I've told it about a hundred times, it doesn't seem so bad. However, what got me through were some good friends who listened and didn't say, "you are such a pyscho!" Or worse, "aww, PMS again?" Nope, they just loved on me. And I truly appreciate it.
Anyway, as I pondered which book to give away, I decided on this gem: The Elements of Style by William Strunk, Jr. For me, writing books are old friends. Particularly old writing books. As a history nut, I find it fascinating to read books from another time period. The cool thing about this book, though, is that much of its contents are still applicable today.
So check it out! Post a comment here this week and I'll draw a winner this weekend.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Weekend Update with... me!
Did any of you ever watch Saturday Night Live? I used to love it, but then life got in the way, and I'm afraid I don't understand half the jokes anymore. However, one of my favorite parts was Weekend Update. Which has absolutely nothing to do with this post except that the theme song from Weekend Update went through my head as I typed it.
So there you are. Randomness with me.
I don't have anything in particular to share about the weekend, except to let you all know that the winner of the Liz Fielding book is Patricia! Congratulations!!
Tomorrow I'll have a new book up for grabs. Huh. That's just a few hours away. Guess I'd better get digging. :)
So there you are. Randomness with me.
I don't have anything in particular to share about the weekend, except to let you all know that the winner of the Liz Fielding book is Patricia! Congratulations!!
Tomorrow I'll have a new book up for grabs. Huh. That's just a few hours away. Guess I'd better get digging. :)
Friday, November 16, 2007
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...
This is the abomination as viewed from my back porch. Last week, some enterprising neighbors hired a lift to decorate the huge tree in their front yard. I remember driving by, thinking, I feel sorry for that guy's neighbors. Uh, that would be me. D'OH!
Actually, it is kinda pretty, and I imagine I'll sit here, drinking a cup of tea, watching the snowflakes fall, thinking something deeply spiritual with that lovely tree in the background.
However, we have not even hit Thanksgiving yet! For that matter, what happened to Veteran's Day? I'm not ready to have a Holly Jolly Christmas (which some idiotic radio station played the other day). I haven't even had my turkey. What about decking the halls with Pilgrims and Indians? Falalalalalalalala
Have we gotten so busy spending our money on junk we don't really need, but feel obligated to give that we've neglected taking the time to be still and think about how thankful we are for the money in the first place? We have to race out for the latest tacky singing Christmas blow up lawn ornament without stopping to take a look at the flags honoring the men and women who've served our country, making it a safe place for us to live, giving us the right to place those tacky lawn ornaments out there. Unless, of course, you've got an HOA. And then, my friends, you signed away that freedom. But for the rest of us, like my neighbor across the way, we can get as in your face as we want to show our pride in the holiday season.
God bless America.
May He have mercy on us all.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Thursday Thirteen #25: Thanksgiving
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Since Jan and Tonya are doing Thanksgiving this week and have another theme this week, and I got the email to join them, we're doing Thanksgiving a week early. Hopefully, as we begin to think what we're thankful for before the big day, before we get into all the preparations, we can make our preparations and celebrations with thankful hearts. 1. My new house. People keep asking me how I like it, and all I can say is I love it. I am so happy here. God really blessed us with this one. 2. My little Kiki. We call her the terrorist, and she is so much work. But you know, she brings us more joy than I ever imagined possible. 3. My little Bebo. She just amazes me with the things that come out of her mouth which began in her heart. 4. That Man. He's given me so much unconditional love. I don't know where I'd be without him. 5. Modern medicine. Even though I'm working to get back to more natural things in our family, with all the health challenges I've had this past year, I've gained a great respect for all the things modern medicine can do. 6. My Sara. She's one of the few people on this earth who really "gets" me. 7. Suffragettes. Maybe that's a weird thing to think of on Thanksgiving, but when I think of the first Thanksgiving and the praise they gave for God's bounty in a new land where they could have freedom to practice their religion, I realize that for many of the people coming over, freedom did not come for centuries. Because of the women fighting for our right to our opinions, I have the right to post on my blog, share my opinion, and when it comes time to vote, exercise that right. 8. Religious freedom. Let's be honest here. Some of the attacks on Christianity here suck. And sometimes it stinks to see so many things contrary to our values running rampant in our country. But it is such a blessing to live in a country where we can pray to our God, read our Bible, and worship as we feel led without fear of being arrested or jailed. 9. Good friends. This year, I've had some amazing people come alongside me. They've blessed me in more ways than I can count. 10. The Dog. Because he's The Dog. 11. Heavenly Provision. The past few years have been tough for us in a lot of ways. If you look at it on paper, there's no way we should have made it. But we did. God provided for us in so many wonderful ways. 12. A good cup of tea. Tea fixes just about everything. It makes me really happy. :) 13. God. Well, that's just a given, isn't it? Except it really shouldn't be. I think a lot of times, it comes out as rote, and we don't really stop to consider what an amazing God we really have. We kind of get used to Him, like a piece of furniture in the room. But what if we move that furniture? Suddenly, it's a big deal if the lamp isn't in the right place. Totally messes everything up. Yet, we don't walk around singing praises to the lamp. Maybe we should. Or at least we should take God out of the furniture department and keep Him on center stage. Huh. Didn't exactly mean to go there, but that's where my heart is. Being thankful that even though sometimes God is a lamp, and not in the psalmist sense, He still loves me, He still desires me, and He chases after me with an eager heart. What are you thankful for? |
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Locks of Love
As many of you know, I usually have really long hair. What some of you don't know is the reason I have long hair. I've always had long hair, but when I went to college, my act of rebellion was cutting off my hair. I found out that my long hair could be used for an organization called Locks of Love. They use the hair to make hairpieces for children who lose their hair for medical reasons. Since I have fast-growing hair, I grew it out again, cut it again, and so on. I've sent a lot of hair to locks of love. If you've seen me with short hair, it's generally right after I've donated. This spring, I had a debate with myself about it. I'm starting to get gray, and with folks pointing it out, I've been self-conscious. I thought about coloring it, and then I realized, I wouldn't be able to donate any more. So I'm sticking with the gray. I've always felt that if I had something to give, then I ought to give it.
Now, please don't misunderstand and think I'm some super-spiritual being. HA! We went bowling after the haircuts, and my daughter said, "Mom! I'm kicking your @ss!" Guess who she heard that one from? Yep. Me. So I've still got a long way to go. But I figure, if I can share something that might encourage others to give even just a little something to help someone else, then I've done a good thing.
Maybe you don't have hair to give. But maybe it's something else. My daughter's school is doing a canned food drive. Do you have anything extra in your pantry? There's probably someone near you having a canned food drive. Or maybe it's a blanket drive like my friend Jan is having. I bet there's a homeless shelter near you that would appreciate it.
We tend to think of giving and changing the world as a really hard, really big thing. But really, if we all did what we could, even if it was just a little, we could make a huge difference. We'd change the world without realizing it.
Oh, and because they got haircuts too and they're so darn cute, here's one of the girlies. :)
Monday, November 12, 2007
Free Book Monday: Reunited: Marriage in a Million by Liz Fielding
Funny story about this one... Liz Fielding is one of my favorite authors (and a wonderful woman. I just love her! I wish she'd come stateside more often). So, of course, if I see her books, I buy them. I typically try to buy them as they come out, but sometimes I miss one.
So there I was, looking in a thrift store for something totally unrelated (I needed a mason jar, ONE mason jar, not the twelve pack you see in stores), and of course, you know me, I can't pass by the book section without stopping to take a peek. Well, since I *do* buy by author, and I couldn't risk missing out on one of her books, I bought it. Fortunately for you guys, I already have it. And if I'm really honest, I'll admit that I was pretty sure I had it when I bought it, because the story sounded familiar. Having re-read it, I can assure you that I love this book.
My shaky memory is your gain. Post a comment this week about things you look for when browsing for books and what makes you buy one. Winner will be drawn this weekend.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
The end of the sagging middle....
Is to do lots and lots of crunches.
Or, if you're a writer, to plug through it, even though you're positive it's the worst garbage you've ever written and would rather chuck the whole thing.
I am at the dead middle of this rewrite. The trouble is that when I started the rewrite, this guy who was firmly dead in other versions of the book is now ALIVE. And a part of the story. Well, he was part of the story before, but he was a dead guy, so he didn't take up a whole lot of my precious white space. But here he is. Alive. The trouble with fiction is that when you kill people, they don't always stay dead.
Anyway, I have been working on this chapter since Friday, and it's been piecemeal, trying to get decent words out of me. I finally gave up, wrote a summary paragraph of the rest of the conversation and got her out of Dodge. End of paragraph. End of chapter. We're now at the place that needs to happen next.
And maybe that's been my problem. This whole mess of struggling with the words happened Friday at Panera when I was happily typing along and realized, um, there's two scenes that have to happen first. Crap. I put on the brakes and went back to write those two scenes. I should have kept plugging forward. But no... I was too afraid I'd forget. Well, I paid for it. Two days of writing and all I can show for myself is one measly chapter.
Now on to the next. But I think this one's going to be fun, because I'm about to blow up part of my heroine's universe and I really love doing that...
Anyone have any good tips for getting through it without violence?
Or, if you're a writer, to plug through it, even though you're positive it's the worst garbage you've ever written and would rather chuck the whole thing.
I am at the dead middle of this rewrite. The trouble is that when I started the rewrite, this guy who was firmly dead in other versions of the book is now ALIVE. And a part of the story. Well, he was part of the story before, but he was a dead guy, so he didn't take up a whole lot of my precious white space. But here he is. Alive. The trouble with fiction is that when you kill people, they don't always stay dead.
Anyway, I have been working on this chapter since Friday, and it's been piecemeal, trying to get decent words out of me. I finally gave up, wrote a summary paragraph of the rest of the conversation and got her out of Dodge. End of paragraph. End of chapter. We're now at the place that needs to happen next.
And maybe that's been my problem. This whole mess of struggling with the words happened Friday at Panera when I was happily typing along and realized, um, there's two scenes that have to happen first. Crap. I put on the brakes and went back to write those two scenes. I should have kept plugging forward. But no... I was too afraid I'd forget. Well, I paid for it. Two days of writing and all I can show for myself is one measly chapter.
Now on to the next. But I think this one's going to be fun, because I'm about to blow up part of my heroine's universe and I really love doing that...
Anyone have any good tips for getting through it without violence?
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Tattling on That Man
This morning, after reading last night's blog, That Man says to me, "wow, when you said she was snuggled with the dog, you weren't kidding." Nope.
I took all those pictures this past week. The dog picture happened Tuesday night when That Man had to work late. Little one was asleep and her big sister was playing a computer game, so I decided to take a bath. I promised B that when I got done, we'd have some "mommy time" and read a book. While she waited, she fell asleep on my bed in the dog's spot. So the dog went to bed on top of her. I had to take a picture because it was too cute. Plus, the dog spends so much time running from her, I figured it would be nice to have some photographic evidence that they do get along. When That Man came home, I told him the story, and he smiled and nodded like he always does.
So now I have to give him a hard time. I wonder... was it the case that he's seen how she traumatizes the dog so much that he couldn't possibly believe that the dog would willingly get within ten feet of her? Or was it that when I talk to him, all he hears is "blah blah blah..." and ends it with, "that's nice dear."
Men! Gotta love 'em.
Actually, even though I'm picking on him, I have to say, today was a good day. We celebrated our 8th anniversary this summer. In January, we'll have known each other for ten years. One of the first books we read together was The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. From the beginning, he knew what my love language was. From the beginning, he knew that the thing that makes me feel the most loved is to pay attention to the specific thing I want and deliver. For me, specificity is key. So for years, I've explained specific things around the house that if he did, I'd feel loved. He typically does everything but, and so I can never be mad at him, since he does SOMETHING, but he never does THE thing. Today... He did THE thing.
I came home after being at a writer's group, and not only was he working on the project I specifically asked him to do, but he'd also done it exactly how I asked, AND he'd cleaned the kitchen. The house was in better shape than when I'd left it, which is another thing I've been asking. I LOVE it!! I love him!
Now, lest you think I get too cocky over my wonderful man, I'll probably go up to bed and he'll ruin it all by being too gassy. Fortunately for him, I love him anyway. Or maybe it's fortunate for me. He did listen to all of my weird, anal instructions and follow them more than completely. He's listened to my nagging for all these years. He hasn't killed me for some of the crazy things I say and do. He lets me threaten to kill him, then smiles and tells me he loves me.
I think I'll keep him.
(But don't tell him...)
I took all those pictures this past week. The dog picture happened Tuesday night when That Man had to work late. Little one was asleep and her big sister was playing a computer game, so I decided to take a bath. I promised B that when I got done, we'd have some "mommy time" and read a book. While she waited, she fell asleep on my bed in the dog's spot. So the dog went to bed on top of her. I had to take a picture because it was too cute. Plus, the dog spends so much time running from her, I figured it would be nice to have some photographic evidence that they do get along. When That Man came home, I told him the story, and he smiled and nodded like he always does.
So now I have to give him a hard time. I wonder... was it the case that he's seen how she traumatizes the dog so much that he couldn't possibly believe that the dog would willingly get within ten feet of her? Or was it that when I talk to him, all he hears is "blah blah blah..." and ends it with, "that's nice dear."
Men! Gotta love 'em.
Actually, even though I'm picking on him, I have to say, today was a good day. We celebrated our 8th anniversary this summer. In January, we'll have known each other for ten years. One of the first books we read together was The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. From the beginning, he knew what my love language was. From the beginning, he knew that the thing that makes me feel the most loved is to pay attention to the specific thing I want and deliver. For me, specificity is key. So for years, I've explained specific things around the house that if he did, I'd feel loved. He typically does everything but, and so I can never be mad at him, since he does SOMETHING, but he never does THE thing. Today... He did THE thing.
I came home after being at a writer's group, and not only was he working on the project I specifically asked him to do, but he'd also done it exactly how I asked, AND he'd cleaned the kitchen. The house was in better shape than when I'd left it, which is another thing I've been asking. I LOVE it!! I love him!
Now, lest you think I get too cocky over my wonderful man, I'll probably go up to bed and he'll ruin it all by being too gassy. Fortunately for him, I love him anyway. Or maybe it's fortunate for me. He did listen to all of my weird, anal instructions and follow them more than completely. He's listened to my nagging for all these years. He hasn't killed me for some of the crazy things I say and do. He lets me threaten to kill him, then smiles and tells me he loves me.
I think I'll keep him.
(But don't tell him...)
Friday, November 09, 2007
Moments I love
With my hectic schedule, I usually get home after the kiddos are supposed to be in bed. I say supposed to because some nights, I get home, That Man is in a fetal position, holding his head, crying, "please, make them stop." Okay, not really. But close. Lately, though, with the time change, B has been falling asleep right around 8:30. Which means, I come home to a little girl sleeping in some odd place because she dozed off waiting for her momma.
I'll sit for the longest time, watching her. Who'd have thought that watching a child sleep would be the best form of entertainment? It amazes me. She amazes me. I wonder how something so incredible, something so beautiful, came from me. I don't know why God picked me to be their mom, but wow... I am so lucky.
I watch them and I think what miracles they are. How perfectly their bodies were formed. Every little mark, every cell, carefully placed by God. How can anyone set eyes on such a perfect creation and not believe in God? They are such little miracles. Beautiful, lovely miracles.
I love hearing them breathe, even when they snore. Their little bodies move. And occasionally, you see signs of their dreams, and wonder what thoughts might be going on in those amazing brains.
I love being a mom.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Thursday Thirteen #24: Cold remedies
I've been fighting this bizarre headache/cold thing, and I've tried just about everything... so far, no dice. Here's what I've tried. If you've got any other ideas, do add them!
Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
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1. Positive self-talk: I feel great!! 2. Extra sleep. 3. Sudafed and Tylenol 4. Multivitamins and fish oil. 5. Garlic. 6. Semi-positive self-talk: Okay, fine, I'm not feeling good, but I'll be better in no time!! 7. Apple Cider Vinegar. 8. A tea made with garlic, apple cider vinegar, and honey. 9. Cleaning my sinuses with salt water. 10. Visiting the chiropractor. 11. Drinking lots of water and tea. 12. Taking hot showers and baths. 13. Emergen C |
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Excuse #567 for missing church and being slow on the blog
Okay, I don't actually know what number it is. But bear with me, okay?
Ummm... I missed Free Book Monday. We'll give it a short hiatus. Last week's winner was Tamie!! Tamie, email me with your contact info and I'll get it to you.
I've been fighting a headache that I'll loosely call a migraine, because it doesn't have all the characteristics, but it's enough to be annoying, for over a week now. Sunday night, I broke down and took migraine meds because I thought, gee, nothing else is working, so why not? I felt great Sunday night, all day Monday, and then this afternoon, WHAM! It's back. This time, once I picked up the little monster from daycare, I did not pass go and I took the very last of my migraine meds, which means I'll have another trip to the Dr. soon. But that means I can't drive tonight. Which is actually fine, because the lights at church are HUGE migraine triggers for me, so no way, no how, are you getting me there tonight.
But I'm really depressed, because I've taught so much lately that I've missed church, and next month, I'm slammed again. Podcasts just aren't the same. Which reminds me, I need to download again.
Huh. I totally forget what I had to blog about, because I actually did have a point. I should just not post this, except I know there are folks who worry when they don't read a recent post. So there you have it. Me, whining about the fact that my body is not cooperating again, and unable to carry on a coherent discussion. But I think that's the meds talking, or not talking, whatever the case may be.
Anyway, I really promise I will catch up soon. I know there's quite a few blogs out there I'd like to catch up on because I know you're posting good stuff.
So to help me out in my catching up when the haze goes away, what are some of the can't miss blogs I need to make sure I read?
Ummm... I missed Free Book Monday. We'll give it a short hiatus. Last week's winner was Tamie!! Tamie, email me with your contact info and I'll get it to you.
I've been fighting a headache that I'll loosely call a migraine, because it doesn't have all the characteristics, but it's enough to be annoying, for over a week now. Sunday night, I broke down and took migraine meds because I thought, gee, nothing else is working, so why not? I felt great Sunday night, all day Monday, and then this afternoon, WHAM! It's back. This time, once I picked up the little monster from daycare, I did not pass go and I took the very last of my migraine meds, which means I'll have another trip to the Dr. soon. But that means I can't drive tonight. Which is actually fine, because the lights at church are HUGE migraine triggers for me, so no way, no how, are you getting me there tonight.
But I'm really depressed, because I've taught so much lately that I've missed church, and next month, I'm slammed again. Podcasts just aren't the same. Which reminds me, I need to download again.
Huh. I totally forget what I had to blog about, because I actually did have a point. I should just not post this, except I know there are folks who worry when they don't read a recent post. So there you have it. Me, whining about the fact that my body is not cooperating again, and unable to carry on a coherent discussion. But I think that's the meds talking, or not talking, whatever the case may be.
Anyway, I really promise I will catch up soon. I know there's quite a few blogs out there I'd like to catch up on because I know you're posting good stuff.
So to help me out in my catching up when the haze goes away, what are some of the can't miss blogs I need to make sure I read?
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Confessing my deep, dark secrets...
You'd better get the popcorn out for this one. Really.
I spent the evening watching cheesy teenage romantic comedies. Can I just say that they are my very favorite kind of movie? Really. I would rather watch a shallow movie with a simple plot and a guaranteed happy ending than anything else. I don't watch movies to think. I watch movies to escape.
High School Musical 1 & 2? Loved them. Hilary Duff movies. Ditto. I also, am ashamed to say, adore Lindsey Lohan movies when she was in her pre-skank phase. I watch them with a mixture of bliss and disgust. Bliss because they have the simple plotline and satisfying ending I crave, but disgust at how I'm sucked in to watch the latest and greatest teen movie. And yes, I also loved Not Another Teen Movie.
I'm sick, I tell you, sick.
Which is why, I'm sitting on my ever-widening rear, watching Bend it Like Beckham, wondering what snacks I've got hanging around.
So now that I've confessed... it's your turn...
I spent the evening watching cheesy teenage romantic comedies. Can I just say that they are my very favorite kind of movie? Really. I would rather watch a shallow movie with a simple plot and a guaranteed happy ending than anything else. I don't watch movies to think. I watch movies to escape.
High School Musical 1 & 2? Loved them. Hilary Duff movies. Ditto. I also, am ashamed to say, adore Lindsey Lohan movies when she was in her pre-skank phase. I watch them with a mixture of bliss and disgust. Bliss because they have the simple plotline and satisfying ending I crave, but disgust at how I'm sucked in to watch the latest and greatest teen movie. And yes, I also loved Not Another Teen Movie.
I'm sick, I tell you, sick.
Which is why, I'm sitting on my ever-widening rear, watching Bend it Like Beckham, wondering what snacks I've got hanging around.
So now that I've confessed... it's your turn...
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Thursday Thirteen #23: Halloween Candies in the Trick or Treat Bag
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1. KitKat 2. Crunch 3. Smarties 4. Endangered Species Chocolate 5. Runts 6. Tootsie Rolls 7. Caramels 8. Laffy Taffy 9. Jolly Rancher 10. Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups 11. Bottle Caps 12. Hot Tamales 13. Three Musketeers I thought I'd have a hard time coming up with thirteen, but now I think I'm having a harder time with just thirteen! Is anyone else drowning in candy? |
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