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Friday, August 18, 2006

Because I can

Have you ever done anything just because you could? I love that feeling... no other reason than just because you can. Like walking around the house naked. I love it when no one's about and I just... can.

I was reading Laura Marie Altom's blog and she talked about how this tree fell in her backyard and how much it was going to cost to remove it. And I thought, how fun would that be, instead, to have a big bonfire, invite your friends, and make S'mores? That would be one fun party. Especially if it was at Laura's house. She's totally fun.

I'm still angsting, and it's really irritating me. I think one of the reasons I'm going so crazy is that back when I was writing because I could, writing whatever I wanted, there was no accountability, no pressure to perform, no reason to do the right thing. And now that it matters...

Why blow up a character on page six? Because I can.
Why set a bottle of prozac on the desk to scare off people? Because I can.
Why sit here at night with one hand on the keyboard and the other holding an ice cream cone? Because I can.
Why threaten my kids with duct tape and boarding school? Because I can.
Why threaten That Man's life on a daily basis? Because I can.

But the real question, underlying all the things I CAN do, including things I didn't list, is whether or not I SHOULD do them.

And frankly, that's what's really scaring the bejeebies out of me.

8 comments:

Jacqui D. said...

Oh - that was an excellent post...I enjoy reading your blog.

Devon Ellington said...

The real choice is do you do something "just because you can" or do you make the choice to consider the feelings of those you love?

Tori Lennox said...

A great post, Danica!

Jill said...

This is always the hard part for me too. I can say, gotta follow your heart. And keep writing, that's the important thing, don't ever give up.

Loreth Anne White said...

Um ... about that prozac, Dream ... *VBG*

Seriously, good questions. I like to think you SHOULD or MUST do anything that aligns with your dreams/goal and what you feel your purpose in life to be (same goes for characters). The trouble is nailing down that raison d'etre :)

Michelle said...

I think fear can definitely play a factor when it comes to writing. But I tell myself it's a natural reaction and that I'm a stronger writer when I take risks. Go for it!

Patricia W. said...

Duct tape works. Okay, I haven't tried it but I've been tempted too. And given it's stickiness on all other things, certain on the mouth of a child...

Seriously, I used to say I just wanted time "to be", meaning no obligations, expectations, "shoulds", or anything other than doing whatever I wanted to do (or nothing) just because I could.

I fully understand.

Danica/Dream said...

Wow, lots of awesome comments.

Jacqui, glad you enjoy it. :)

Devon, I do try to consider the feelings of those I love. But as I told my friend today as we rejoiced about kiddos starting school this week, it'll be nice to have a few moments in the day where I won't have to do that either. ;)

Thanks Tori!

Jill, thanks. You're very right. *note to self* Do what famous author friend says to do... ;)

Loreth, toss it my way. And you're absolutely right about finding that reason. Which I have. Which I'll blog about next.

Michelle, I DO need to go for it, thanks. :)

Patricia, ah yes, duct tape... And you hit the nail on the head about wanting just a few moments to simply do NOTHING.