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Thursday, October 05, 2006

The horrors of raising girls

Because I haven't shared one of these lately, here's another installment of funny, but gross moments of my life. AKA birth control for the childless.

In our house, we have an open door bathroom policy. Mostly because I read somewhere that it helps to potty train by modelling good potty behavior. Well, in reality, I have children who don't believe in privacy. But hey, the previous reason sounded like I was trying to be a good parent, right? So a couple days ago, the little terrorist caught mommy in the process of changing a tampon. Several hours later, I found her trying to figure out how to stick a plastic animal in her own "part". I know it is natural curiosity, ie: "it's a hole, let's see what fits in it, especially since I saw mom doing it", but I semi freaked. We had a long talk about how it's a precious part of our body that God gave us and we don't ever put anything in it.

So tonight, I get home from class, go to do my business, and I realize that my little assistant has followed me to the bathroom. I call for That Man. He tells her to go to bed. She does the defiant thing. I beg him to get rid of her. He laughs and tells her to come see him. She continues the defiant thing. I whine and beg. She finally gets out and I finish up. I put her to bed, and I tell him, "I really needed you to help me out. I didn't want her watching me change my tampon."

His response? He laughs. "I know."

No, you don't know. So I tell him the animal story, which makes him laugh even more. I explain that I can NEVER let her know what I have to do every month, because then she'll think I'm a lying hypocrite after the talk I had with her and she'll never respect me again.

His response? He continues to laugh.

That Man is probably still laughing in his sleep. If our kids end up barefoot, pregnant, and smoking crack at age 9, I'm totally blaming him. And it was HIS idea that we have all girls, and HIS stupid girly sperm that impregnated me with them, so this is ALL on him. He has NO idea the trials of raising girls. The worst you deal with in raising boys is teaching them not to pee on the electric fence (although it's really funny when you convince your idiot friends to try it). But no. I have to figure out ways to potty train AND keep my children from putting a zoo in their potty holes.

I'm going to bed now. May tomorrow be a day filled with peace and no bathroom trauma.

2 comments:

Jana said...

Poor Dream. ROFL

Danica/Dream said...

Yeah, such is my life. :)